Angels on the Moon - Thriving Ivory (youtube)

Angels on the Moon by Thriving Ivory
Don't tell me if I'm dying,
Cause I don't wanna know,
If I can't see the sun,
Maybe I should go,


Jenny wrote ..

I have always said to all of my doctors "Don’t give me a prognosis". I believe the mind is very powerful and I don’t want it locking onto any sort of timeframe. My mother was of the same opinion and she didn’t want her doctors to put any time constraints on her life. I am not silly, I know my situation is serious as through my associations with cancer support groups I have seen others with a similar diagnosis to me not be so lucky. But everyone’s journey is different. Each time I see a new doctor I say up front "Don’t give me a time".

Jenny and Jodi (Jenny's Oncologist) - St George Private Hospital - Mon Evening 22 Jun 2009
Jenny's last sunrise (see photo's below) before her heart failed around midday on Tue 23 Jun 2009. She was revived and spent the last week of her life in ICU (more here).

The photos are by a friend Jeff Grant. I have photographed this beach with Jeff and another friend Leigh Perry. Some photos will be posted here in the future.

Solstice #2 - Turrimeta / Sydney - Jeff Grant (Sunrise Tue 23 Jun 2009)
Joanne and I both remember Jenny talking to us about watching the sunrise over Botany Bay that day from her hospital bed at St George Private Hospital. Jo and I were both supposed to be at a early morning base building Aus dragon boat session at Blackwattle Bay but we were both very tired from Jenny's hospital visit to remove a 4cm brain tumor a week earlier. Jenny said she thought of us as she watched this beautiful sunrise. Jo and I often talk about this and always feel a little guilty that we were not out there on the water that morning doing what Jenny would have loved to be doing.

Jenny was always positive about her cancer and never asked for a "prognosis". I know she knew how serious this situation was for her. Liz the Sutherland Shire Cancer Support Group Counsellor told me that Jenny actually cried at the Meeting the week before her operation, something Liz had not seen before.

When I heard this song for the first time (thanks again to Charlotte, we were always bound to meet) the above lines resonated with me instantly. It seemed to describe vividly Jenny's outlook and that last sunrise she witnessed ..

If I can't see the sun,
Maybe I should go

I have sat on this post for so long. Always feel like I can never capture what I am really trying to say. I think that is just about it. Time to watch Hell of the North. Life goes on, but it is important to remember.

Solstice #3 - Turrimeta / Sydney - Jeff Grant (Sunrise Tue 23 Jun 2009)