[..] A single step repeated hundreds and thousands of times would eventually arrive at the end. It did not take superhuman strength or a talent that most do not have. It took a steadfast commitment. Step by step as the miles added up and the challenges slipped by. Today just like those days on the trail, is another step. Tomorrow yet another. I walk this journey in anticipation of the end, but I also know that there is much to learn in the process. It is the process, no matter what the hardship where great beauty and adventure can be found.
Around New Year, each year for the last 10 years we have traveled to the Snowy Mountains area (around Perisher Valley and Jindabyne) to get away from the Christmas/New Year Crowds, to relax and take in the sights of the Snowy Mountains.
Each year we would take the opportunity to challenge ourselves to the 22km Main Range Summit walk, to not only witness the beauty of the mountains, but to test ourselves and to benchmark our fitness to the previous years effort. This was particularly important for Jenny. She and we could see what effect her cancer and treatment was having on her physical body, for the previous 12 months.
Some years were easy, while others were more challenging, particularly the long and steep uphill leg from the Blue Lake to the Summit of Mt Kosciuszko.
One of the more difficult years for Jenny was January 2008 when a side-effect from one her treatments, which caused soreness and tenderness of her feet (Hand-Foot Syndrome), made it very difficult for her to walk even a few steps. This did not stop her and she did the 22km walk, one painful step at a time. I was so proud of her, though, in typical Jenny style she thought it to be nothing unusual.
On the first day of this year, we did the Main Range walk, for what would turn out to be our last time together. While temperatures in Sydney were the typical balmy 30's, the weather in the Mountains had turned and there was a wind chill factor of -15 deg C. This was our last day to do the walk, we were prepared with Jenny and Joanne wearing seven layers, with beanies and gloves. We decided to at least walk the first 6 km to the Blue Lake and make a decision there whether to continue on for the next 16km or return.
For all of us, the conditions were challenging. However, for Jenny the extra challenges which revolved around dealing with the many issues relating to her cancer, the most obvious for this higher altitude challenge, being the tumors in her lungs. Little did we know at that stage the cramping in her stomach she had experienced a few times over the previous month or so, would be the early signs of countless tumors in her liver, which would be diagnosed in early March 2009. On top that, was also the embryonic stages of a tumor in her brain, which would manifest itself as a 4cm tumor in early June 2009.
Needless to say, this was the most difficult Main Range Summit challenge for all of us, and for Jenny in particularly. She was short of breath, even on the small downhill sections. As we reached the Blue Lake, we waited quite a while and we left it up to Jenny to decide what we should do. Eventually, she said she felt she could do it, so off we nervously set, in very strong head winds, to the Summit. We stopped at Lake Albina on the way.
Every step was a struggle for Jenny and she did amazingly well to make it to the Summit. As usual we would take our Summit top photos - this time there was no one there (usually there would be 20-30 people) as we had taken twice as long as normal and we had reached the Summit hours after everyone had headed back to their starting points.
When I read the little story (it was a few weeks ago now) from where the above quote comes from, I thought of Jenny initially, and later Joanne and myself. I think it has helped me understand, that we were not only doing this walk each year (with each year being a "step") for the physical beauty and challenge of the Mountains, but also for the beauty that can be found in the "process" of doing something like this each year. I think it also helps me appreciate the difficult "steps" that Joanne and I take each day, without Jenny's physical presence in our lives - but knowing we are "getting on with life" with the support of our family and friends, and knowing many great experiences and adventures lay ahead for us and those in our lives. We know this to be true - we have already witnessed this in Prague in late August 2009 - "Touched by Jenny".
Joanne, David and I will do the Main Range walk this year, probably on the 1 January 2010. We know Jenny will be with us every step of the way.
Just another little story of perserverance and determination from Jenny.
