Five One Hundredths of a Second - 500m Premier Opens Final - AusDBF Nats / Penrith (Fri 19 Apr 2013)

Five One Hundredths of a Second - 500m Premier Opens Final - AusDBF Nats / Penrith (Fri 19 Apr 2013)
Once, twice or, maybe three times (if you are fortunate enough and willing to take the risks) in a paddling career you do something unbelievable. Something you just can’ t explain, though sometimes it worth giving it a try. Here goes ..

You are happy you have made the major final. You know you are up against strong teams. The favourite, the team directly on your left, you have not beaten in three years. In fact you have not been within a boat length, over 500m, for the last two years. Against the odds, and your failing self-confidence, you still somehow believe that we can still get across the line first. To be part of of something great. There is always hope at the start. It is a chance to create who you want to be. You don't get your hopes up too high, as you have been disappointed in the past. You don't think about all of this too much at this point. The focus is putting your best race on the water and seeing how it compares to the others when you have all crossed the line. You are not overly nervous, but you are excited and proud to be there. A supportive and encouraging tap on the knee for those around you. Remember it is a 30 stroke start. Just focus on the first 3 strokes and take it one by one from there. Clean water. Hand out of the water. Blade buried. Make sure you feel and stay connected with the water with every stroke. The starter aligns us and we ready. "Paddlers, are you ready, attention please" .... the gun does not fire for some reason. This has happened a few time before over the years. Keep your focus, no distractions. We will be away soon. Refocus, lets do it again - 30 Start, first 3, deep and clean - feel the water. "Paddlers, are you ready, attention please" ... "GO". You Go on the "G". 1-2-3, up, up, .. 10, up, up, .. 20, up, up, ..7,..30, reach, reach, hinge, hinge. The boat is up and running and there is something there. We are hingeing and driving through the stroke. The boat is more than running, it is been driven through the stroke like it has felt in training over last few weeks, except this time it is race intensity, not level 4, Remember this Geoff, Remember this moment. We are there next to them, where usually they pull away here, but we talked about staying connected. Give it everything to the 250m and refocus. Somehow, we are sttil there at the 250m. Refocus and reinvent yourself, I think. Drive, Drive is the call, We are still there, connected. You have a 6th sense (and good hearing) and you know without looking that our drummers are side by side. Passing the 200m start hut and the little red lane marker buoy. There is something uplifting in our Sweep's voice - "you are doing it". The lane buoys turn to red - we are 100m out. We have done everything our training has given our bodies - it's amazing to find that something extra that the sport scientists say should not be there. Mentally, prepare for the lift home. This is the most crucial part of the race - they are probably a nose ahead. We are going to have to do something amazing - something the other teams have pulled on us often over the years. "do it for the gold (or was it girls?)" is the call. We lift. We lift. The rate comes up a touch and the boat becomes light as we surge forward with every stroke - narrowing the margin. It is all clear as day, those last few strokes. You give it everything you've got when there is nothing to give. You cross the line, you hear the finish horn blast away in succussion. You look across and you know you have done it. The look in your competitors faces tell you that they know you have also done it and you take a few quiet moments to take it all in, while some of the others around you show their elation more jubilantly. Gasping for air, you touch the same knees as you did before the start. This time the "ritual" tap is to acknowledge your team mates efforts and the fact that you have done something that does not happen that often in a paddling career. "Three cheers for the other crews" is the call from our Drummer - three "hip hip". and a breathless "hooray". We bring the boats in and we all get off. Back slaps and hugs all around. Not even a second thought who won that one as you make your way through the other 180 or so paddlers you have just competed against. You smile and for some reason laugh. This kind of win does not happen that often - "take it in", "take it in" you say to yourself. You see many familiar faces as you walk through the line. They are happy for you. Many you have experienced some amazing experiences around the world in Australian Campaigns past and you hope that the journey with them will continue. Somewhere along the way you hear that we did it by five one hundredths of a second. You know the course well and you smile that you can pick such a small amount of time moments after crossing the line. What a race. You think to yourself, "it's not that we won it, it is how we won it" – it's just not what was expected by many (including yourself) and that is the beauty of dragon boat racing - the randomness and uncertainty to some extent. The boat has never felt like that out of the start and into the transition. You think to yourself, you have never paddled like that before. You feel fortunate that you took the risk to be there, you did the training, the testing, you've put yourself on the line time and time again. You have been crushed by the ramifications of defeat and oddly enough, those one or two other once in a life time victories . At the end of the day you know that it is worth the sacrifices you make to do what you have done, do and hope to do. Maybe this is not the end, but a new beginning ..

I will leave this unedited. It’s just a stream of thought that came out of my subconscious in the last 20 mins. Hope it makes sense and it will be fun to read, many year’s into the future.

Five One Hundredths of a Second - 500m Premier Opens Final - AusDBF Nats / Penrith (Fri 19 Apr 2013)

It's not about the Paddle

IT’S NOT ABOUT THE BIKE – LANCE ARMSTRONG

I read the following extract to Jenny twice while she was in Hospital in June 2009. The first time was two days after the surgery to remove a 4cm brain tumor. She listened intently - like a small child being read a fairy tale - while I struggled to remain composed, as I read it to her.

Jenny - St George Private Hospital - Sun 22 Jun 2009 (picasa)
The second time was in the Intensive Care Unit at St George following her "heart failure" episode 6 days earlier (Tue 23 Jun 2009) – a day before she left us on the 30 Jun 2009 at 9:16am. I think and hope she heard me. This little story for me is the essence of the Book, a book she treasured, and ultimately it reads as a "prophecy" for what would unfold in Prague in late August 2009 for Joanne and myself - hope this makes sense .. Geoff

Jenny, Joanne and Geoff - St George ICU - Sun 28 Jun 2009 (picasa)

IT’S NOT ABOUT THE BIKE – LANCE ARMSTRONG

If there is a defining characteristic of a man as opposed to a boy, maybe it's patience. In 1995, I finally gained an understanding of the demanding nature of the Tour [de France] and all of its extraordinary tests and dangers. I finished it, and I finished strong, winning a stage in the closing days. But the knowledge came at too high a price, and I would just as soon not have learned it the way I did.

Late in the race, our Motorola teammate, Fabio Casartelli, the 1992 Olympic champion, was killed on a high-speed descent. On a descent, you ride single file, and if one rider goes down, it can cause a terrible chain reaction. Fabio didn't crash alone; 20 riders went down with him. But he hit a curb with the back of his head and fractured his neck and skull.

I went by too fast to see much. A lot of riders were down, and everybody was crouched around someone lying on the ground, but you see that sort of thing a lot in the Tour. It was only a while later that I learned via the team radio what had happened: Fabio was dead. When they tell you something like that, you almost don't believe it.

It was one of the longest days of my life. Fabio was not only the young hope of Italian cycling, he was a new husband and a new father. His baby was just a month old.

Jenny and Geoff - Cape Leveque - 9 May 2001 (picasa)
We had to keep riding, to finish the stage even though we were distraught and sick with shock. I had known Fabio since I first started racing internationally in '91. He lived right outside of Como where I kept my apartment, and we had competed against each other at the Barcelona Olympics in '92, when he won the gold medal. He was a very relaxed, fun-loving man, a little goofy, a joker. Some of the top Italians were more serious, or macho, but Fabio wasn't like that. He was all sweetness.

That night we had a Motorola team meeting to discuss whether we should keep riding or not. We were split. Half of us wanted to quit and go home and cry with our families and friends, and half of us wanted to keep riding in honor of Fabio. Personally, I wanted to stop; I simply didn't think I had the heart to ride a bike. It was the first time I had encountered death, and genuine grief, and I didn't know how to handle it. But then Fabio's wife came to see us, and she said she wanted us to keep riding, because she felt that was what Fabio would have wanted. So we sat in the grass behind the hotel, said a few prayers, and decided to stay in.

Me and my Shadow - "an early start for the first day of the rest of my life" - 7am Wed 01 Jul 2009 (picasa)
The next day the peloton rode in honor of Fabio, and gave our team a ceremonial stage victory. It was another long, terrible day— eight hours on the bike, with everybody grieving. The peloton did not race. Instead we rode in quiet formation. It was virtually a funeral procession, and at last our team rode across the finish line, while, behind us, Fabio's bike was mounted atop the support car with a black ribbon.

The following morning we began the race again in earnest, and rode into Bordeaux. Next was a stage into Limoges, and that night, Och came around to our rooms and told the team that Fabio had had two goals in the Tour: he wanted to finish the race, and he especially wanted to try to win the stage into Limoges. As soon as Och stopped speaking I knew that if Limoges was the stage Fabio had wanted to win for himself, now I wanted to win it for him, and that I was going to finish the race.

About halfway through the next day's stage, I found myself grouped with 25 guys at the front - Indurain was in the yellow leader's jersey, riding at the back. I did what came most naturally to me: I attacked.

The problem was, I attacked too early, as usual. I went with 25 miles still to go, and on a downhill portion. Two things you never do: attack early, and on a downhill. But I went so fast on that downhill that I had a 30-second lead in a finger-snap. The other riders were completely taken aback. I could feel them wondering, What's he thinking?

What was I thinking? I had looked back, and saw guys were riding along, with no particular ambition. It was a hot day, and there was no incentive to pull hard, everyone was just trying to get closer to the finish line where the tactics would play out. I glanced back, and one guy was taking a sip of water. I glanced back again. Another guy was fixing his hat. So I took off. Peoooo. I was gone.

When you have 15 other guys back there from 15 different teams, they'll never get organized. They'll look at each other and say: You pull. No, you pull! So I went, and I went faster than I'd ever ridden. It was a tactical punch in the face, and it had nothing to do with strength or ability; everything depended on the initial shock and separation. It was insane, but it worked.

IDBF Senior Mixed 500m Final - 200m to go - "The Break" - "It was insane, but it worked" – Prague/Racice - Day 4 - 29 Aug 2009
Nobody got within 55 seconds of me again. The team support car kept coming up and giving me reports. Henny Kuiper, our team director, would say, "You're thirty seconds up." Then a few minutes later he'd come alongside again and say, "You're forty-five seconds up."

When he came up the third or fourth time, I said, "Henny, don't come up here anymore. I'm not getting caught."

"Okay, okay, okay," he said, and faded behind my wheel.

I didn't get caught.

I won by a minute, and I didn't feel a moment's pain. Instead I felt something spiritual; I know that I rode with a higher purpose that day. Even though I had charged too early, I never suffered after I broke away. I would like to think that was Fabio's experience too; he simply broke away and separated from the world. There is no doubt in my mind that there were two riders on that bike. Fabio was with me.

Senior Mixed 500m Final - "Instead I felt something spiritual; I know that I rode with a higher purpose that day." Lance A - "Don't Wonder 'What If?'" Jenny P – Prague/Racice - Day 4 - 29 Aug 2009
I felt an emotion at the finish line that I've never experienced again. I felt I was winning for Fabio and his family and his baby, and for the mourning country of Italy. As I came across the line I glanced upward and I pointed to the heavens, to Fabio.

World Champs - Australian Senior Mixed 500m Team - "As I came across the line I glanced upward and I pointed to the heavens" Lance A – Prague/Racice - Day 4 - 29 Aug 2009

After the Tour, Och had a memorial built for Fabio. He commissioned a sculptor from Como to execute a work in white Carrara marble. The team flew in from all over the world, and we gathered at the top of the mountain for the placement of the memorial and the dedication ceremony. The memorial had a sundial on it that shone on three dates and times: his birthday, the day he won the Olympic Games, and the day he died.

Geoff and Joanne at Fabio’s Memorial - we stumbled upon it by complete accident – Col de Portet d'Aspet - Thu 24 Sep 2009 [1] (picasa)
I had learned what it means to ride the Tour de France. It's not about the bike. It's a metaphor for life, not only the longest race in the world but also the most exalting and heartbreaking and potentially tragic. It poses every conceivable element to the rider, and more: cold, heat, mountains, plains, ruts, flat tires, high winds, unspeakably bad luck, unthinkable beauty, yawning senselessness, and above all a great, deep self-questioning. During our lives we're faced with so many different elements as well, we experience so many setbacks, and fight such a hand-to-hand battle with failure, head down in the rain, just trying to stay upright and to have a little hope. The Tour is not just a bike race, not at all. It is a test. It tests you physically, it tests you mentally, and it even tests you morally.

I understood that now. There were no shortcuts, I realized. It took years of racing to build up the mind and body and character, until a rider had logged hundreds of races and thousands of miles of road. I wouldn't be able to win a Tour de France until I had enough iron in my legs, and lungs, and brain, and heart. Until I was a man. Fabio had been a man. I was still trying to get there.

[1] I would like to think the two shadows on the “Wings” of the Memorial represent the spirit of Jenny and her life as a twin with Joanne.. There we are, Joanne and I, counterpoised by the twin shadows of the Joanne and Jenny. Jenny overlooks us and is there with us, Always.

Jenny - "looking out over us - she inspires and guides us from above" - Geoff E - Wolfe Creek Crater, WA - 22 May 2001"

Jenny, Geoff, Joanne - St George - 22 Aug 2006

"In these small hours" (Little Wonders by Rob Thomas)

The music video for Little Wonders by Rob Thomas with Meet The Robinsons (youtube)
Today I heard this song for the first time in at least 2 years. The above is a video and the lyrics are below.

It is swelting in Sydney as I write this, at the end of hot summers day and I am covered in sweat. Spent this lovely Saturday afternoon on Sydney Harbour paddling in an OC6 from Glebe to Middle Harbour and back. Very windy, very hot and tough conditions. Still a great session and it makes you realise how lucky we are to have this beautiful city, it's harbour, the experiences we make for ourselves and the friendships we have with each other.

Pacific Dragons OC6 Mixed Crew - Paul, Jenny, Geoff, Marie, Liz, and Leslie - Ettalong / Central Coast - Jan 2007 (picasa)
Anwyay, on the way back to Alexandria from the session, in Wilson Street / Newtown [Note: 1], I had my radio on and heard this song.

Instantly, I became quite emotional (actually started crying uncontrollably - yes I'll admit it) and had to pull over. It was the song I had been trying to find for the last 19 months, since Jenny left us. I did not know it's title or any of the lyrics. All I knew was the tune. As a result, this made it difficult to track down. Apart from the tune, I also felt it was a Matchbox Twenty song.

Jenny had talked about it on it's release, when someone in her Cancer Support Group played the song at one the weekly Tuesday meetings. It seemed to mean a lot to Jenny and all her colleagues at the Group. 

I had tried to find the song many times since Jenny's passing, and I now know I was looking in the wrong place, as it is Rob Thomas song, not a Matchbox Twenty song (I had even bought a few Matchbox Twenty CD's to try and find the song, obviously to no avail).

While listening to the song in the car this afternoon, all I tried to do was remember (my memory is not that flash) a line from the chorus so that I could search for it as soon as I got back to Alexandria. The line I remembered was: 

In these small hours

A quick search found the above video and I then realised the song was from a Disney Animation Movie Meet The Robinsons, which I know little about (I am sure it is very good - actually have half a feeling that Jenny and Jo may have sneaked it in one Tuesday afternoon at the Movies. Will check with Jo). So I have no idea of the meaning of the song in the context of the Movie. Though with every song I think we are allowed to bring our own experiences and interpretations to it, even if we mishear the lyrics (I am reassured that this is OK :-). 

Over the years, when Jenny was with us, I would often force myself to stay awake at night, so that I could hear her breathing (we were both good sleepers and it was often a race to see who would nod off first). The sound of her breath, and the silhouette of the rise and fall of the sheets covering her chest, gave me some reassurance. I could not comprehend that one day the cancer might extingusish the breath of this amazing person (where do I start to explain) and take this beautiful woman from us.

Jenny Asleep - Barbara's - Balmoral/Brisbane - Fri 19 Dec 2003
So when I hear the line:

In these small hours 

I think of those nights and the small hours where I would lay awake watching and listening to her breath - I would often tell Jenny that it was like music to my ears.

Anyway, I will leave it that. I will buy the CD and put the song on my iPhone. I need to listen to it some more and try to make the connection to the song that Jenny and her friends at the Sutherland Shire Cancer Support Group made to it. I suspect for me it might mean something completely different to Jenny as I can already see some things that I have felt since Jenny left us.

A bit of ramble but it is nice to capture these fragments of my memory here.

Needless to say, very excited to have found this song

Maybe the The hardest part is over? 

I know in writing this: These small hours - Still remain

As we said to each other every night (and I still do) as we lay in bed before nodding off to sleep:

Good Night, Sweet Dreams, God Bless, Love You.

With love and fond memories .. Geoff

[Note 1]: I love Wilson Street ( Newtown) - so many little things have happened there recently and over the years (at least in my own mind). Maybe these are some of These little wonders the song refers. I know these little things have helped me a lot over the last 19 months as I move through the grieving process [see Quote: Half a Life - NYT Book Review (12 Sep 2010) (17 Oct 2010) - in some ways that post was a real turning point for me when I look back at it now].

Little Wonders 
Rob Thomas

Let it go
Let it roll right off your shoulder
Don't you know
The hardest part is over
Let it in
Let your clarity define you 
In the end
We will only just remember how it feels

Our lives are made
In these small hours 
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate 
Time falls away,
But these small hours
These small hours 
Still remain

Let it slide
Let your troubles fall behind you
Let it shine,
Till you feel it all around you
And I don't mind 
If it's me you need to turn to 
We'll get by
It's the heart that really matters in the end

Our lives are made
In these small hours 
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate 
Time falls away
But these small hours
These small hours
Still remain

All of my regret
Will wash away somehow
But I cannot forget
the way I feel right now

In these small hours
These little wonders 
These twists and turns of fate
Yeah, these twisted turns of fate
Time falls away
Yeah, but these small hours, 
These small hours
Still remain

Yeah, oh they still remain
These little wonders
All these twists and turns of fate
Time falls away 
But these small hours 
These little wonders
Still remain

The Hawkesbury Canoe Classic

"To accomplish great things, we must not only act but also dream, not only plan but also believe." - Anatole France

Joanne, Jenny and Geoff - Hawkesbury Canoe Classic 2006 - Windsor - Sat 28 Oct 2006 (picasa)
In 2006, Jenny, Joanne (Jenny's younger identical twin) and myself (Jenny's husband) decided to do the Hawkesbury Canoe Classic (HCC) with our paddling club, Pacific Dragons. By mid June 2006, there was enough interest to enter three mixed OC6's crews.

At the time we, along with a number of other PD's paddlers (see picasa), some who were also paddling the HCC, had also been selected to represent Australia at the 2006 Asian Dragon Boat Championships in Macau in late Sep 2006 (see picasa). It was great campaign and we even learnt how to paddle and race standing up.

On our return, via Singapore for a Breast Cancer Survivor Dragon Boat Regatta for Jenny, we had about four weeks to prepare for the HCC. Our team comprised of 5 paddlers from the Macau Campaign (Mandy, Nicci, Jenny, Joanne and Geoff) and Paul who would do the majority of our steering. We were commonly referred to as the Macau Crew, but we decided to call ourselves Team Happy for our team entry application, as we were a happy bunch of paddlers. We were in it for fun and we did have a whole 13 hours of fun and finished strongly standing up.

A year later, I was asked 3 days before the 2007 HCC to fill a seat, in a Mixed OC6, that had become vacant due to a paddler injury. They were called the Red Devil's and had been training seriously for months. They wanted to have fun, but they also wanted to break the Mixed OC6 record, which they did. I was pleased to help out at such short notice and have fond memories of the crew and night (see picasa). Jenny and Joanne even came to the start line to wave us off (picasa). It was a nice surprise as I was not expecting them to come out because of a Breast Cancer Seminar they attended that day in the City.

Sadly, we lost Jenny on Tue 30 Jun 2009. Joanne and I have tried to live fulfilling lives, something that Jenny wanted for us. We have paddled in her memory and honour. She inspires and guides us from above. It is barely 12 months, and we already have some great memories.

The Climb - Jenny's Amazing Climb (more here)
In 2009, Joanne and I did not paddle the HCC. We had only just returned from Europe after the 2009 World Dragon Boat Championships. I was able help out at quite few training sessions towards the end, and Joanne and I went to the start line to wave the PD's Mixed OC12 crew off (picasa). Lisa has some great recollections of her experience (see Part: 1, 2 and 3).

In 2010, Jo and I will paddle the HCC.

Shortly after Jenny's passing, the 2009, Prague bound, Australian Dragon Boat Squad presented Jo and I with a gift in Jenny's memory. It was a Star, located in the southern sky, named In the Memory of Jenny Petterson in the Constellation of Vela. Vela is latin for Sail and the star was picked because of the Constellation's water themed name.

Jenny, believed the 2006 HCC was an experience that created life time memories, which it surly does, as anyone who has paddled the HCC will tell you. She fondly recalled (see more further below):

It was such a great experience under a sky filled with thousands of stars.

It is something that we will be able to look back on for the rest of our lives.

So when it came time to name our 2010 Mixed OC6 (Charlotte, Rachel, Jo, Alasdair, Graeme and Geoff) Team, I tried to think of a name that allowed us to remember Jenny and to inspire us. It had to be Team ?? following our 2006 tradition. It did not take long to come up with Team Vela which I think allows us recognise the past, present and future.

I hope this goes some way to explaining the name - Team Vela.

This post includes some photos and recollections from the 2006 HCC, as well as a couple of inspirational quotes.

We will remember Jenny as we paddle under a thousand stars. In particular, we will remember Jenny and the star named in Jenny's Memory in the Constellation of Vela as it shines down brightly upon us from the southern sky.

Go Team Vela! - the most fantastic team on the Hawkesbury!!!!

Regards .. Geoff

Joanne, Jenny and Geoff - Hawkesbury Canoe Classic 2006 - Windsor - Sat 28 Oct 2006 (picasa)
Jenny writes about the Hawkesbury Canoe Classic ..

On our return from Macau a routine CT scan showed that I had an accumulation of fluid around my lung. I had it drained so I was able to take part in the Hawkesbury Canoe Classic. This is an 111 kilometre race from Windsor to Brooklyn along the Hawkesbury River. All types of craft including kayaks, canoes, outrigger canoes and surf skis take part in the race. It was a fantastic experience. I was a member of a six person team who paddled an outrigger canoe. Geoff and Jo were also in the team. We set off at 6pm and paddled through the night arriving 13 hours later. It was such a great experience under a sky filled with thousands of stars.

Pacific Dragons Crews and Supporters - Hawkesbury Canoe Classic 2006 - Windsor - Sat 28 Oct 2006 (picasa)
Jenny and Joanne - Hawkesbury Canoe Classic 2006 - Windsor - Sat 28 Oct 2006 (picasa)
From A Familiar Path by Doug Miller (more here) ..

"A single step repeated hundreds and thousands of times would see us eventually arrive at the end. It did not take superhuman strength or a talent that most do not have. It took a steadfast commitment. Step by step, the miles added up and the challenges slipped by. Today just like those days on the trail, is another step. Tomorrow is yet another. I walk this journey in anticipation of the end, but I also know that there is much to learn in the process. It is the process, no matter what the hardship where great beauty and adventure can be found."

Sunrise - Hawkesbury Canoe Classic 2006 - Hawkesbury River - Sun 29 Oct 2006 (picasa)
Sunrise - Hawkesbury Canoe Classic 2006 - Hawkesbury River - Sun 29 Oct 2006 (picasa)
From the Manual for Climbing Mountains by Paulo Coelho ..

Respect your soul: don’t keep repeating "I’m going to make it". Your soul already knows that, what it needs is to use the long journey to be able to grow, stretch along the horizon, touch the sky. An obsession does not help you at all to reach your objective, and even ends up taking the pleasure out of the climb. But pay attention: also, don’t keep saying "it’s harder than I thought", because that will make you lose your inner strength.

Team Happy - Geoff, Jenny, Mandy, Jo, Nicci and Paul - Hawkesbury Canoe Classic 2006 - Brooklyn - Sun 29 Oct 2006 (picasa)
Sarah and Gav - Hawkesbury Canoe Classic 2006 - Brooklyn - Sun 29 Oct 2006 (picasa)
Gav wrote on Mon 30 Oct 2006 ..

PDs, There are some very inspirational people in this club. They won't jump out at you, and they won't tell you about it - but if you stop, look and listen you will see immense courage, inner strength, and team work mixed in with a joke and a smile.

3 PD OC6s + Claire on her ski, showed some true grit on the weekend by finishing the Hawkesbury, and in good time. Each paddler taking 40,000 strokes through the night (give or take a couple).

For a race so long, you can't start the race with the mind set and strength you need to finish it. It's impossible. You have to find it along the way. Brutal mind games that get played out as the kms tick over.

The paddlers have to dig deeper and deeper in themselves in order to keep going and enduring the pain and extreme fatigue.

In the darkness, they imagine the sweet sweet moment at the finish line where they realise their goal of conquering the distance, and finally allowing their bodies to stop.

Sometimes it feels like it is getting further away. But when it finally, actually, really happens - PADDLES OUT- the sense of achievement mixed with relief is overwhelming and pure ecstasy.

Tears, smiles and hugs all round.

After the Hawkesbury, your concept of distance and yourself changes forever. From then on, you are never again afraid of 'not being able to finish' a race. It is now just a question of how hard you can go.

Well done to the 'Amazing 18' !!! May we all be made of the same stuff.

There is only one way to find out.

Joanne and Jenny - Hawkesbury Canoe Classic 2006 - Brooklyn - Oct 2006 (picasa)
On Wed 1 Nov 2006, Jenny wrote ..

Thank you all so much for the wonderful experience. It was unbelievable and seems like a bit of a dream now. It was truly an honour to be a part of Team Happy. It is something that we will be able to look back on for the rest of our lives.

We cannot thank you Gav, Sarah, Tamara and Luke (and for that matter, all of the other land crews) enough for all the support you gave us. You all made things so easy for us and looked after us soooo well. We could never have done it without you. From helping us on and off the boat, keeping us warm, feeding us, helping us change and massaging our weary bodies. You are the best!

Go Team Happy! - the most fantastic team on the Hawkesbury!!!!

Bye for now,
Jo, Geoff and Jenny

Don't wonder "What If?" - Jenny P - Our Guiding Light and Inspiration

Favourite Photos: Perisher Valley 2002 - Freezing

Freezing - Perisher Valley - 25 Jun 2002 (picasa)

As well as traveling to the Snowy Mountains during summer, Jenny, Jo and I decided to spend some time in the Mountains during Winter. We did this in Jun 2000, 2001 and 2002. After that the Dragon Boating took over our winters.

It was always nice to go to Perisher during the first week of the ski season (mid-late June) where the Boonoona Ski Lodge was not really that busy - mainly accountants getting a small holiday in before the end of financial year rush.

Jenny and Jo were good skiers and they were able to get out onto the ski fields, while I did some reading and wondering around the local snow covered bush land. Would always have my camera at hand and found many nice photos from these little (actually some were quite long) walks.

This particular photo was taken on the side of the Perisher Valley Water Supply Dam. It was near sunset and there was a nice golden glow on the water. The original photo is shown below.

When I got back to Sydney, I uploaded the a cropped version to my photo.net portfolio (see here). In the discussion I provided the original uncropped photo, which is shown below, and I wondered which was better (cropped or uncropped?).

'Freezing' (Orignal) - Perisher Valley - 25 Jun 2002 (picasa)
I was pleased to receive this well thought out response from Marc G:

Very clearly, for me, the cropped version is better. Just sharing with you, here, a very simple method I use for years to know in similar cases whether it should be cropped or not.

I just ask myself "what I have I lost if I crop ? What have I gained ?

Here, the crop makes you lose the extension of this line - but it isn't a curved extension, so not very elegant, and not actually a loss. Then, no other important elements at the bottom. Now what have you gained ? You have gained simplicity and peace. Peace because you gained simplicity, and peace because that's in general what comes with squares - by the books.

Now in what sense have you gained simplicity ?

That's the most important question. The curved line being shorter, it is seen faster. Since we start from top left and go down, and since what was in the lower part was nothing great, we can say that here we keep only the nectar.

In the original, the nectar came with not much at the end. Then, here, since the eye is quickly finished with the main curve, it then moves to the right, and that's where it can find extra beauty in the dented ice and in the light at the top.

Basically, you kept the best only. Honestly, I would never have thought of hanging the original on my walls, but this one, I would - without a single hesitation. If you are interested, by the way, I'd buy a print of this - provided you give me a good price. It is no, to me, the best ice shot I've seen on this site, without a doubt for me, and I'd regard this as POW material - if I were an elfe, that is...:-))

Meanwhile, if you are keen, I'm serious, let me know the price for a 50 cm square print... Regards. Marc G. August 05, 2002; 02:00 P.M.

All of his critique made sense to me and I was very happy that a professional photographer would like one of my photos so much - was quite flattered. Unfortunately, the photo was taken on a small digital camera (1600 by 1200 pixels) and there was no way the image could be printed to a 50cm square. I would send the full-size original to Marc with my thanks for such a helpful critique and my best wishes that he might find something useful from the original file.

Over the years I have played around with the cropping of this image and I am quite satisfied with the version below.

'Freezing' (Alternate Crop) - Perisher Valley - 25 Jun 2002 (picasa)

Grief is concentrated in the face [take2] - The Art of Grief by Jonathan Walker

Grief is concentrated in the face. It makes the flesh sodden and unresponsive, dull with blood, like when you are drunk and heat comes off the skin like vapour off water, as if your vitality is evaporating into the air. The muscles go dead around the mouth and eyes. It almost hurts when others smile and your own face remains inert, held down by the drag and weight of the blood. The memory of grief stays in the flesh. The body recalls it, feels its weight, moulds itself automatically to its shape as the loss is remembered, the mask becoming tighter as the memory becomes clearer; not the memory of the dead person, but the memory of grief itself.

Page 24 The Art of Grief by Jonathan Walker

Geoff - "an early start for the first day of the rest of my life - 'where do you start?'" - Alexandria - 7am Wed 01 Jul 2009 (picasa)
Took this photo of myself the first morning after Jenny had died. I slept OK, all things considered and was up early - I had no idea what the day would bring. All I knew there was a Funeral to organise and many people to be contacted. No stranger to all of this, so I headed up to my usual Coffee shop (Cafe Sofia) so that I could have a few quiet moments to myself before the onslaught of the day.

Not sure why I took the photo - maybe so that I could remember that moment of numbness, despair and initial grief. I did a similar thing when my younger brother Tim died (see here).

The words above by Jonathan Walker (he reviewed one of my photos that I took in Newtown - see here) seem to match up with what I now see of myself in the photo.

The following gives some context to his writings on Grief - The Art of Grief - and its relationship to his new Novel - Five Wounds. It is complicated, but Grief is a long drawn out and complicated process. I am still trying to work it all out myself.

Five Wounds: An Allegory by Jonathan Walker

Five Wounds is a parable as well as a fairy tale. Throughout, it refers to an invisible, suppressed source: ‘The Art of Grief’, an abandoned essay on the deaths of my parents. This essay is never acknowledged directly within the novel, but it will be made available in March or April 2010 as a free download on my website for those who wish to investigate.

[..]

‘The Art of Grief’ is a key, which unlocks hidden meanings in Five Wounds. However, the relationship between the two texts is more complex than that of a riddle to its solution or a joke to its punch line, because Five Wounds has an independent life of its own. Its characters act according to their own natures, and make their own choices. They are not mere ciphers, condemned to act out episodes of my biography in a disguised, pathological form. The characters may be fantastic, but they are real within their own world, even when they unknowingly refer to events beyond its borders.

In this case, then, one text does not solve the other. Rather, Five Wounds places stolen fragments of ‘The Art of Grief’ in a new setting, which transforms their meaning, as the Venetians studded the façade of the church of San Marco with pieces of marble looted from Constantinople. Here, however, the arrangement is reversed. It is not the loot that shines brightly, but the container, within which the quotations are safely hidden away, like bones in a reliquary.

UPDATE: To download a PDF version of 'The Art of Grief', go to this part of my site

[Geoff: A repost of a version I was working on that somehow got posted on the 10 Apr 2010 - subsequently deleted and this is the remaining version.]

When he wins a battle, the warrior celebrates

When he wins a battle, the warrior celebrates.

This victory has cost him anxious moments, nights racked with doubt, endless days of waiting. Since ancient times, celebrating a triumph has been part of the ritual of life itself: celebration is a rite of passage.

His companions see the warrior of light's joy and think: 'Why is he doing that? He might be disappointed in his next battle. He might draw down on himself the wrath of his enemy.'

But the warrior knows why he is celebrating. He is savouring the best gift that victory can bring: confidence.

He celebrates yesterday's victory in order to gain more strength for tomorrow's battle.

From the Manual of Warrior of Light by Paulo Coelho - (more here).

The above passage now makes me realise why we should celebrate our little successes and achievements - it is not just about celebrating the victory!!

Jenny - she has just been presented with 2006 Aus Flag Bearer Recognition Trophy (Macau 2006 - a story for another day) - Kawana - 23 Apr 2009 (picasa)
Hard to believe that 12 months has almost gone by since the 2009 AusDBF National Dragon Boat Titles at Kawana. As we go through the final selection process and complete our final training sessions, I guess it is a good time to reflect on past experiences.

We did have a great time at the 2009 Nationals and it was fantastic that Jenny was with us. The day before we flew to the Sunshine coast, Jenny had her 5th cycle of fortnightly treatment (chemo and another drug, Avastin) and was still able to paddle for her State and Club over the Regatta. She did experience numerous visual migraines at night, which a month later would be diagnosed as being caused by a 4cm brain tumor. She also worried that the tumors in her liver would cause painful cramping in her stomach, but this did not occur while she was paddling.

Jenny, Geoff and Joanne - State - Kawana - 23 Apr 2009 (picass)

Jenny, Jo and Geoff - 200m Men's and Women's Tropy's - Breakfree Resort/Caloundra - 26 Apr 2009 (picasa)

The following is a small photo essay of the "9 from 9" effort by my club, the Pacific Dragons. This result was never expected and we took it one race at a time. Each day the Women's Crew would put the race of a lifetime on the water in the final and somehow come across the line first. This then put the pressure on the Men's crew to do the same. A few strategic words, a couple of calming and distracting jokes, and the moving story of brave little Tommy , from Gav would get us on the water to do the best we could. The rest is now history.

Gav gave Eugene (my seat 1 partner) and myself, the great honour of receiving the last club trophy to be presented at the Regatta. It was an amazing moment for Eugene and I, as we held aloft the Gold Medals and 200m Open's Winning Trophy. The assembled Australian Dragon Boat Community stood and applauded the amazing and historic achievement of our club, the Pacific Dragons. I had never seen anything like it and was humbled by the genorosity of spirit the Australian Dragon Boat community displayed that day to our Coaches, Teams, and Club.

All the best to every competing at the 2010 AusDBF National Dragon Boat Championships in Adelaide over the Anzac Weekend. Look forward to some great racing and catching up with many friends, and hopefully making some new friends on and off the water.

See you in Adelaide. Jenny's Spirit and Memory will be with us. She Guides and Inspires us from Above.

PD's Premier Open 200m Final - Kawana - Sun 26 Apr 2010 (picasa)

Premier Opens 200m Final - AusDBF 2009 National Dragon Boat Champs - Kawana/Qld - Sun 26 Apr 2009 (at youtube by warwick27au)

The smile says it all - "9 from 9" - tidying up the Cox Vox cable after the Premier Open 200m Final - Anne would ask me to come and celebrate with the Team off the water - Kawana - Sun 26 Apr 2009 (picasa)

Eugene and Geoff - Premier Open 200m Presentation - "PD's - nine from nine !! - I did not really want this weekend to end as I kind of knew the end was beginning to start (Editors: An End has a Start)." - Kawana - Sun 26 Apr 2009 (picasa)

The Australian Dragon Boat Community acknowledging Pacific Dragons "9 from 9" - Kawana - Sun 26 Apr 2009 (picasa)

Lost in the Crowd - Kawana - Sun 26 Apr 2009 (picasa)

PD's Premier Open Men - After Party Celebration - Kawana - Sun 26 Apr 2010 (picasa)

Pacific Dragons - After Party Celebration - Kawana - Sun 26 Apr 2010 (picasa)

The Orange Wave - Gav Crowd Surfing - Just go with it Gav - After Party Celebration - Kawana - Sun 26 Apr 2010 (picasa)

Joanne, Helen, Jenny and Nicola - After Party Celebration - Kawana - Sun 26 Apr 2010 (picasa)

Joanne, Jenny and Geoff - After Party Celebration - Kawana - Sun 26 Apr 2010 (picasa)


Vale Jenny Petterson - picasaweb - A Pocketful of Sequins - PD's Tribute (picasa)

Photos: Sydney Life 2010 (24 Sep 2010)

It's that time of the year where the northern walkway of Sydney's Hyde Park becomes an outdoor gallery for 22 large scale 3x2m canvas printed photographs. The exhibition is now called Sydney Life and is part of the month long Art and About Festival. The exhibition has been held annually since at least 2002 (that is my first recollection at least). Unfortunately, the web site for each years exhibition is overwritten by the coming years exhibition. Would be nice if there was a permanent archive, though I do have the programmes for each years selection.

Collage - Sydney Life 2010 - Hyde Park/Sydney - Fri 24 Sep 2010
On the afternoon of the second day of the exhibition (Fri 24 Sep 2010) I took a wander along the walkway to see what had been selected for this years exhibition. It was not a surprise to see Tamara Dean and Dean Sewell featuring again with another couple of stunning photos.

I always photograph all the photos in position in the Park, and this year I used my iPhone and sent the photos to a folder in my picasa account.

I often think some photos have been selected because they fit so well into the location and the framing each position along the walkway provides. In the morning the photos along the eastern walkway are backlit and in the afternoon the west side photos are backlit.

Lynn Smith's photo of an abandoned Industrial Warehouse seems to be beautifully framed by the branches of the trees in the backgound. They interact with the rafters on the warehouse's roof.

The Judges choice for this year exhibition was Nick May's black and white photo of a Bondi beach scene. They said:

"It was a difficult choice for the judges with many fine photographs to choose from but we were drawn to Nicholas May's timeless and unforgettable image showing Sydney as an almost mythic place of relaxation on Australia Day. It's a sculptural, deeply unsentimental observation of Australians at play and the cultural ambiguities found on Sydney's most famous beach."

Apart from Lynn Smith's photo, I also enjoy James Hill's elevated view of the Five Ways in Paddington using a large format camera. There is a lot going on in the photo and I will go back to look at it in more detail.

Finally, I think Tamara Dean's photo, The Pack, from her Series This Too Shall Pass is a beautifully delicate photo, which is a signature element in many of her photos. Must admit I don't really understand it, but it is beautiful to look at in the afternoon before the sun disappears early behind the city sky line. It really did stand out.

Will take a walk to see what the light does to the photos in the morning.

[Post note: A great article on last year's Sydney Life - Sydney Life, 1 October 2009 - not obvious which photographer it was who put this together. Would like to see the documentary. ]

Proof Sheet - Sydney Life 2010 - Hyde Park/Sydney - Fri 24 Sep 2010

Nick May - Sydney Life 2010 - Hyde Park/Sydney - Fri 24 Sep 2010

Geoff Harvey - Sydney Life 2010 - Hyde Park/Sydney - Fri 24 Sep 2010

James Hill - Sydney Life 2010 - Hyde Park/Sydney - Fri 24 Sep 2010

Lynn Smith (flickr) - Sydney Life 2010 - Hyde Park/Sydney - Fri 24 Sep 2010

Paris Spellson - Sydney Life 2010 - Hyde Park/Sydney - Fri 24 Sep 2010

Tamara Dean (more) - Sydney Life 2010 - Hyde Park/Sydney - Fri 24 Sep 2010

Gregory McBean - Sydney Life 2010 - Hyde Park/Sydney - Fri 24 Sep 2010

Tom Williams - Sydney Life 2010 - Hyde Park/Sydney - Fri 24 Sep 2010

Steve Christo - Sydney Life 2010 - Hyde Park/Sydney - Fri 24 Sep 2010