At the end of the first song Hands Clean (*), Alanis gives this amazing calm and lucid insight into fame and her life purpose. Here it is:
[On] Fame. At this point I would say that it is a planetary value - wealth, fame, power at the cost of everything else.This was recorded sometime in 2008, I am guessing. I saw it late one night on the ABC in February 2009 (*).
So I think that value being shared around the planet creates in people this thought that if I am famous, I will be happy.
And what I have come to see is that fame only amplified that which was there already.
So if I was depressed or I if I was insecure or if I was angry or whatever it was it just amplified it.
It made everything bigger and it did not sort of give, give me what it had been sort of purported to be able to give.
And so there was this great disillusionment.
[On Life Purpose] At this point in my life I am clearer that I share music because it is part of my life purpose.
To write it is, the act of writing it is for me and the act of sharing it is so that other people can make it their own - they can derive comfort, inspiration or whatever they want to derive from it.
So it becomes an offering of some kind and because of that I can do it and I can work really hard.
If I were singularly doing it to just be in the public eye for gratuitous reasons, than I would probably last about an hour.
It was a rather random viewing and because I knew of Alanis' music, I decided to record her segment of the show on my PVR.
Over the ensuing months I would watch it repeatedly, often in the middle of the night, when Jenny had fallen into a deep sleep. I was mesmerised by Alanis' voice, the musicians that supported her and the live performance. In some ways this video takes me back to those last few months with Jenny and the sense of innocence (*) we all had with what we were about to confront (*).
Alanis' words, reflects the the depth of her experience and her delivery touched me back in 2009, and they touch me even more now because of the memories they evoke three years on, as well as her insights into life purpose, something that I have had to grapple with when you feel you have fulfilled your purpose in life.
This recording takes me back to those nights before Jenny's passing where I would watch this video safe in the comfort that she was in the next room, breathing and still with us.
Tonight, I have captured this part of my life here - I tried to add it to my blog back in early 2010, but it was too hard back then. For some reason it seems right to add it now, though I have not been able to fully explain here why. I just think it is amazing.
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