Is Suffering a Private Matter? by Cath Duncan (Wed 16 Feb 2011)

Beautiful Day by U2 (Boston 2001)
You've been all over
And it's been all over you

You're on the road
But you've got no destination

Reach me
I know I'm not a hopeless case

What you don't have you don't need it now
What you don't know you can feel it somehow

Beautiful Day by U2


Some times you stumble across a post that takes your breath away. This one did for me:

• Is Suffering a Private Matter? by Cath Duncan (16 Feb 2011)

It captures much of what I have felt, thought or had to consider during the last 21 Months and it does feel a bit like the Beautiful Day lyrics above, particularly:

You've been all over
And it's been all over you

Here are the dot points from the article:

Grief needs to be expressed in some way – either privately or with witnesses, in order to heal. [..]

Some people say that suffering is a private matter because..

• It’s important to avoid embarrassment and rejection by your tribe


• It’s important to protect the parts of yourself that are most vulnerable


• It’s important to protect other people from pain


• It’s important to take your pain to “professionals” who know how to deal with it


• During grieving, it’s important to tune out external influences and tune into your own inner wisdom


• It’s important not to focus on your suffering in a public way because what you focus on grows

[..]

On the other hand, some people say that suffering can be more easily negotiated when it’s out in the open because:

• Keeping your suffering private engenders self-judgment, shame, loneliness and pain


• Sharing your suffering brings people together


• Sharing your suffering facilitates healing


• Sharing your suffering promotes resilience – in yourself and others

[..] the benefits of sharing your suffering with empathic people are incredibly powerful! It’s scary to share about our suffering, but I don’t want to miss out on such powerful benefits and opportunities for healing!

Have come a long way since the first day of the rest of my life back on Wed 01 Jul 2009. Thought I would capture a photo just now so that I can remember this day, which also just happens to be the 21st Anniversary since the first time that Jenny and I went out to dinner together and to see a Movie Look Who's Talking.

Geoff - 21 Months Down the Track - Alexandria (0:16am Wed 30 Mar 2011)
Geoff - "an early start for the first day of the rest of my life - 'where do you start?'" - Alexandria - 7am Wed 01 Jul 2009 (picasa)

Beautiful Day Lyrics

The heart is a bloom
Shoots up through the stony ground
There's no room
No space to rent in this town

You're out of luck
And the reason that you had to care
The traffic is stuck
And you're not moving anywhere

You thought you'd found a friend
To take you out of this place
Someone you could lend a hand
In return for grace

It's a beautiful day
Sky falls, you feel like
It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away

You're on the road
But you've got no destination
You're in the mud
In the maze of her imagination

You love this town
Even if that doesn't ring true
You've been all over
And it's been all over you

It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
It's a beautiful day

Touch me
Take me to that other place
Teach me
I know I'm not a hopeless case

See the world in green and blue
See China right in front of you
See the canyons broken by cloud
See the tuna fleets clearing the sea out
See the Bedouin fires at night
See the oil fields at first light
And see the bird with a leaf in her mouth
After the flood all the colors came out

It was a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
Beautiful day

Touch me
Take me to that other place
Reach me
I know I'm not a hopeless case

What you don't have you don't need it now
What you don't know you can feel it somehow
What you don't have you don't need it now
Don't need it now
Was a beautiful day

On Instinct - Beautiful Day / U2 (Sun 08 May 2014)

A Blank Canvas - Living Room / The Grand Design (*) / Alexandria (Sun 08 Jun 2014)
U2 (*) sing On Instinct (*):

What you don't know you can feel it somehow. [..] Was a beautiful day.

via Beautiful Day (*) by U2 (*). With a fantastic Letterman Live performance here (*)

A wall waiting to be given life. It looks beautiful as it is ..

I think the lyrics above describe what I feel about it and the rest of the place that awaits to be lived in. Still a couple of weeks to go. Not going to rush it, but I know I want to do the craftsmanship and collaboration of the design and build, justice.

Had Julia (*) and Todd (*) over today and lots of good ideas and thoughts discussed. Thanks Julia and Todd. It was a beautiful day ...

City of Blinding Lights - U2 - Live - Brooklyn Bridge - 22 Nov 2004 (youtube)

City of Blinding Lights / U2 - Empire - Fulton Ferry State Park / Brooklyn Bridge / New York (22 Nov 2004 - youtube)

Travel. Do not get stuck in one place. [..]
Whatever you do, walk over the Brooklyn Bridge.

Ken Burns (2004 Yale Commencement Speech)


Bono's preamble to the song in this video gives some idea to the meaning of the song to him. It was about:

a time in our lives when we did not know how powerful it was not to know.

This is a song about innocence and naïvete.

For me, the song reminds me of my first winter dragon boat campaign - the 2005 World Dragon Boat Championships in Berlin. Heard this song a lot while at the gym back then.

Have already walked the Brooklyn Bridge way back in 1988. Will do it again later in the year.


City of Blinding Lights Lyrics

The more you see, the less you know
The less you find out as you go
I knew much more then than I do now

Neon heart day-glow eyes
A city lit by fireflies
They're advertising in the skies
For people like us

And I miss you when you're not around
I'm getting ready to leave the ground

Oh you look so beautiful tonight
In the city of blinding lights

Don't look before you laugh
Look ugly in a photograph
Flash bulbs purple irises
The camera can't see

I've seen you walk unafraid
I've seen you in the clothes you made
Can you see the beauty inside of me?
What happened to the beauty I had inside of me?

And I miss you when you're not around
I'm getting ready to leave the ground

Oh you look so beautiful tonight
In the city of blinding lights

Time...time...time...time...time
Won't leave me as I am
But time won't take the boy out of this man

Oh you look so beautiful tonight
Oh you look so beautiful tonight
Oh you look so beautiful tonight
In the city of blinding lights

The more you know the less you feel
Some pray for others steal
Blessings are not just for the ones who kneel... luckily

Favourite Photos - How much beauty in decay! - Hyde Park/Sydney - Dec 2001

Leaf - How much beauty in decay! - Hyde Park/Sydney - Wed 27 Dec 2001 (picasa)
A photo I took after work during the Christmas New Year period of 2001. Fires were burning all round Sydney and the sky was covered in smoke which resulted in a strange orange colour which can be seen in this photo. At the time I was reading much about photography and various photographers. This particular photo was inspired by Eliot Porter.

Eliot Porter was a photographer I found early on in my photography journey and self-education. It was easy to appreciate his work (google). He was a pioneer of colour photography (more here) and his life work was bequested to the Amon Carter Museum in 1990 shortly before he died (NYT Orbituary).

Not sure how I found him, but his name seems to appear whenever landscape photographers start talking about Colour Landscape Photography when compared to Black and White Landscape Photography, particularly that of Ansel Adams (looking at the size of the wikipedia entries, it is easy to see who was more popular both as a photographer and selection of photographic technique).

Found some interesting information about him searching the web (google). Also, found some of his books (along with those of Australia's own Peter Dombrovskis) in the National Library of Australia and would often take a look at them in NLA's reading rooms when in Canberra. Many of his photos resonated with my own vision and definitely influenced me when taking landscape (even streetscape and travel) photos, particularly in the Snow Mountains.

At the UNSW I found the book Eliot Porter: photographs and text (a great article) by Eliot Porter. Learnt a lot from the text and photos selected for the book. The following is a quote (see my photo.net page) from the book, which helped form my photographic vision ..

"It is the beauty of nature that I try to represent by photography. What this expression means to most people, I am quite sure, is such features as flowers of spring, autumn foliage, mountain landscapes, and many other similar aspects about aesthetic qualities of which no one would care to offer contradiction. That they are beautiful is indisputable, but they are not all that is beautiful about nature; in fact they are only the obvious and superficial aspects of nature - which anyone may observe with half and eye. They are the peaks and summits of nature's greatest displays. There is no doubt about their importance; they could not be dispensed with. Underlying and supporting these brillant displays are slow, quiet processes that pass almost unnoticed from season to season, unnoticed by those that think that beauty in natures is all its gaudy displays.

Much is missed if we have eyes only for the bright colors. Nature should be viewed without distinction. All her processes and evolutions are beautiful or ugly to the unbiased and indiscriminating observer. She makes no choice herself; everything that happens has equal significance. Nothing can dispensed with. This is a common mistake that many people make; they think that half of nature can be destroyed - the uncomfortable half - while still retaining the acceptable and the pleasing side; their idea is a paradise where nature stands still. Withering flowers blooming, death follows growth, decay follows death, and life follows decay - in a wonderful, complicated, endless web the beauties of which are manifest to a point of view attached to vulgar restricting concepts of what constitutes beauty in nature. Thoreau, who observerd all aspects of nature throughout his life, repeatedly remarked on the beauty of the unaccepted. 'How much beauty in decay!' he exclaimed on examining a worm-eaten leaf. To him the sere, brown leaves of winter were as beautiful as the fresh green of spring. This was a principle that has remained important for me throughout my career."

A fairly long quote, but for me was definitely something worth remembering.

This link provides a great summary of the life and works of Eliot Porter. I like the ending quote ..

The final paragraphs on the art of photography touch on his views to color, composition and emotional content of his images:

"Sensitivity cannot be faked by trickor devise; it has no substitute, and any attempt to replace it with mechancial contrivances is certain to be apparent to the more discerning critics. Not all photographs have to be inspired to be worth making, but the best, rare photographs are the result of a a force at least very close to inspiration. Formulized work becomes impersonal, an all the individuality of authorship tends to disappear. It unquestionably has its uses, but it is not art."

The book itself echoes Porter's ability to redact nature's chaos into a single harmonious image, and is a well-deserved tribute to this pioneer of color nature photography.

The following was one of my favourite Eliot Porter photos:

Pool in a Brook, Brook Pond/New Hampshire by Eliot Porter - 04 Oct 1953 (Carter Museum)
I recently thought of Eliot Porter and the above photo, when I took the following photo during the 2010 Ord River Marathon:

Ord River Reflections - 2010 Ord River Marathon - Sun 14 Jun 2010

On Photograph - It's Gift - Hilary Swift / Elijah Walker (Sat 01 Aug2015)

late winter afternwoon light - Alexandria (Sat 01 Aug 2015)

Hilary Swift on the Gift of Photogaphy:

It’s taken me places I would have never imagined going, and I have met so many wonderful people that I would not have met without Photogaphy. I get to wake up every day and if I’m really mad or sad, or any negative emotion, I love that photography gives me the option to find something so beautiful every day. It’s like I’m forced to find something beautiful and even if I’m photographing a sad situation, I’m trying to find the light in it.

via Turning Point: Hilary Swift by Elijah Walker.

Manual for Climbing Mountains

As we had hoped (see A Familiar Path - "A Walk to Remember" - 28 Nov 2009), Joanne, David and myself did the 22km Main Range Walk on 1 Jan 2010. I recently read the following in a Paulo Coelho Book. I liked the story (as it can be applied to all aspects of life, not just "mountains") and I thought it would be a nice way to remember this first walk without Jenny. I have annotated the words with some of my photos from the walk. Here it is .. Geoff Mount Kosciuszko (2,228m) - Fri 1 Jan 2010 Manual for Climbing Mountains by Paulo Coelho (Photos by Geoff):

1. Choose the mountain you want to climb: don’t pay attention to what other people say, such as “that one’s more beautiful” or “this one’s easier”. You’ll be spending lots of energy and enthusiasm to reach your objective, so you’re the only one responsible and you should be sure of what you’re doing.
Mount Kosciuszko - Fri 1 Jan 2010
2. Know how to get close to it: mountains are often seen from far off – beautiful, interesting, full of challenges. But what happens when we try to draw closer? Roads run all around them, flowers grow between you and your objective, what seemed so clear on the map is tough in real life. So try all the paths and all the tracks until eventually one day you’re standing in front of the top that you yearn to reach.
Jo crossing the Snowy River at Charlotte Pass - Fri 1 Jan 2010
3. Learn from someone who has already been up there: no matter how unique you feel, there is always someone who has had the same dream before you and ended up leaving marks that can make your journey easier; places to hang the rope, trails, broken branches to make the walking easier. The climb is yours, so is the responsibility, but don’t forget that the experience of others can help a lot.
Blue Lake - Fri 1 Jan 2010
4. When seen up close, dangers are controllable: when you begin to climb the mountain of your dreams, pay attention to the surroundings. There are cliffs, of course. There are almost imperceptible cracks in the mountain rock. There are stones so polished by storms that they have become as slippery as ice. But if you know where you are placing each footstep, you will notice the traps and how to get around them.
Rock Abstract - Fri 1 Jan 2010 "Green" - Fri 1 Jan 2010
5. The landscape changes, so enjoy it: of course, you have to have an objective in mind – to reach the top. But as you are going up, more things can be seen, and it’s no bother to stop now and again and enjoy the panorama around you. At every meter conquered, you can see a little further, so use this to discover things that you still had not noticed.
"Bush Fires" - Fri 1 Jan 2010 Jo and David - Fri 1 Jan 2010 "Snow" - Fri 1 Jan 2010
6. Respect your body: you can only climb a mountain if you give your body the attention it deserves. You have all the time that life grants you, as long as you walk without demanding what can’t be granted. If you go too fast you will grow tired and give up half way there. If you go too slow, night will fall and you will be lost. Enjoy the scenery, take delight in the cool spring water and the fruit that nature generously offers you, but keep on walking.
Main Range Path - Keep on Walking - Fri 1 Jan 2010
7. Respect your soul: don’t keep repeating “I’m going to make it”. Your soul already knows that, what it needs is to use the long journey to be able to grow, stretch along the horizon, touch the sky. An obsession does not help you at all to reach your objective, and even ends up taking the pleasure out of the climb. But pay attention: also, don’t keep saying “it’s harder than I thought”, because that will make you lose your inner strength.
Lake Albina - Fri 1 Jan 2010
8. Be prepared to climb one kilometer more: the way up to the top of the mountain is always longer than you think. Don’t fool yourself, the moment will arrive when what seemed so near is still very far. But since you were prepared to go beyond, this is not really a problem.
The final km ? - Fri 1 Jan 2010
9. Be happy when you reach the top: cry, clap your hands, shout to the four winds that you did it, let the wind – the wind is always blowing up there – purify your mind, refresh your tired and sweaty feet, open your eyes, clean the dust from your heart. It feels so good, what was just a dream before, a distant vision, is now part of your life, you did it!
Jo - Mount Kosciuszko Summit - Fri 1 Jan 2010 Geoff - Mount Kosciuszko Summit - Fri 1 Jan 2010 Jo and Geoff - Mount Kosciuszko Summit - Fri 1 Jan 2010
10. Make a promise: now that you have discovered a force that you were not even aware of, tell yourself that from now on you will use this force for the rest of your days. Preferably, also promise to discover another mountain, and set off on another adventure.
Mount Kosciuszko Summit - Fri 1 Jan 2010 Jenny - Mount Kosciuszko Summit - Nov 1994
11. Tell your story: yes, tell your story! Give your example. Tell everyone that it’s possible, and other people will then have the courage to face their own mountains.
Seamans Hut - Fri 1 Jan 2010 Our entry - Seamans Hut Diary - Fri 1 Jan 2010

Copyright by Paulo Coelho Welcome to Share with Friends – Free Texts for a Free Internet Jenny and Jo - Main Range Walk - 06 Jan 2002 "Keep on Walking" - Jo - Main Range Walk - Fri 1 Jan 2010

WHY CANT I BE BEAUTIFUL - Buckland Lane / Newtown / Sydney (Tue 12 Apr 2011)

WHY CANT I BE BEAUTIFUL - Buckland Lane / Newtown / Sydney (Tue 12 Apr 2011)
Worship your body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly.

David Foster Wallace (21 May 2005)

Manual for Climbing Mountains by Paulo Coelho

A repost of a relevant post in order for it to come up on the Tampa 2011 Label. Here it is .. Geoff (23 May 2011).


As we had hoped (see A Familiar Path - "A Walk to Remember" - 28 Nov 2009), Joanne, David and myself did the 22km Main Range Walk on 1 Jan 2010. I recently read the following in a Paulo Coelho Book. I liked the story (as it can be applied to all aspects of life, not just "mountains") and I thought it would be a nice way to remember this first walk without Jenny. I have annotated the words with some of my photos from the walk. Here it is .. Geoff (20 Jan 2010)

Mount Kosciuszko (2,228m) - Fri 1 Jan 2010

Manual for Climbing Mountains by Paulo Coelho (Photos by Geoff):

1. Choose the mountain you want to climb: don’t pay attention to what other people say, such as “that one’s more beautiful” or “this one’s easier”. You’ll be spending lots of energy and enthusiasm to reach your objective, so you’re the only one responsible and you should be sure of what you’re doing.


Mount Kosciuszko - Fri 1 Jan 2010

2. Know how to get close to it: mountains are often seen from far off – beautiful, interesting, full of challenges. But what happens when we try to draw closer? Roads run all around them, flowers grow between you and your objective, what seemed so clear on the map is tough in real life. So try all the paths and all the tracks until eventually one day you’re standing in front of the top that you yearn to reach.


Jo crossing the Snowy River at Charlotte Pass - Fri 1 Jan 2010

3. Learn from someone who has already been up there: no matter how unique you feel, there is always someone who has had the same dream before you and ended up leaving marks that can make your journey easier; places to hang the rope, trails, broken branches to make the walking easier. The climb is yours, so is the responsibility, but don’t forget that the experience of others can help a lot.


Blue Lake - Fri 1 Jan 2010

4. When seen up close, dangers are controllable: when you begin to climb the mountain of your dreams, pay attention to the surroundings. There are cliffs, of course. There are almost imperceptible cracks in the mountain rock. There are stones so polished by storms that they have become as slippery as ice. But if you know where you are placing each footstep, you will notice the traps and how to get around them.


Rock Abstract - Fri 1 Jan 2010
"Green" - Fri 1 Jan 2010

5. The landscape changes, so enjoy it: of course, you have to have an objective in mind – to reach the top. But as you are going up, more things can be seen, and it’s no bother to stop now and again and enjoy the panorama around you. At every meter conquered, you can see a little further, so use this to discover things that you still had not noticed.


"Bush Fires" - Fri 1 Jan 2010
Jo and David - Fri 1 Jan 2010
"Snow" - Fri 1 Jan 2010

6. Respect your body: you can only climb a mountain if you give your body the attention it deserves. You have all the time that life grants you, as long as you walk without demanding what can’t be granted. If you go too fast you will grow tired and give up half way there. If you go too slow, night will fall and you will be lost. Enjoy the scenery, take delight in the cool spring water and the fruit that nature generously offers you, but keep on walking.


Main Range Path - Keep on Walking - Fri 1 Jan 2010

7. Respect your soul: don’t keep repeating “I’m going to make it”. Your soul already knows that, what it needs is to use the long journey to be able to grow, stretch along the horizon, touch the sky. An obsession does not help you at all to reach your objective, and even ends up taking the pleasure out of the climb. But pay attention: also, don’t keep saying “it’s harder than I thought”, because that will make you lose your inner strength.


Lake Albina - Fri 1 Jan 2010

8. Be prepared to climb one kilometer more: the way up to the top of the mountain is always longer than you think. Don’t fool yourself, the moment will arrive when what seemed so near is still very far. But since you were prepared to go beyond, this is not really a problem.


The final km ? - Fri 1 Jan 2010

9. Be happy when you reach the top: cry, clap your hands, shout to the four winds that you did it, let the wind – the wind is always blowing up there – purify your mind, refresh your tired and sweaty feet, open your eyes, clean the dust from your heart. It feels so good, what was just a dream before, a distant vision, is now part of your life, you did it!


Jo - Mount Kosciuszko Summit - Fri 1 Jan 2010

Geoff - Mount Kosciuszko Summit - Fri 1 Jan 2010
Jo and Geoff - Mount Kosciuszko Summit - Fri 1 Jan 2010

10. Make a promise: now that you have discovered a force that you were not even aware of, tell yourself that from now on you will use this force for the rest of your days. Preferably, also promise to discover another mountain, and set off on another adventure.


Mount Kosciuszko Summit - Fri 1 Jan 2010
Jenny - Mount Kosciuszko Summit - Nov 1994

11. Tell your story: yes, tell your story! Give your example. Tell everyone that it’s possible, and other people will then have the courage to face their own mountains.


Seamans Hut - Fri 1 Jan 2010
Our entry - Seamans Hut Diary - Fri 1 Jan 2010

Copyright by Paulo Coelho

Welcome to Share with Friends – Free Texts for a Free Internet

Jenny and Jo - Main Range Walk - 06 Jan 2002

"Keep on Walking" - Jo - Main Range Walk - Fri 1 Jan 2010