Is Suffering a Private Matter? by Cath Duncan (Wed 16 Feb 2011)

Beautiful Day by U2 (Boston 2001)
You've been all over
And it's been all over you

You're on the road
But you've got no destination

Reach me
I know I'm not a hopeless case

What you don't have you don't need it now
What you don't know you can feel it somehow

Beautiful Day by U2


Some times you stumble across a post that takes your breath away. This one did for me:

• Is Suffering a Private Matter? by Cath Duncan (16 Feb 2011)

It captures much of what I have felt, thought or had to consider during the last 21 Months and it does feel a bit like the Beautiful Day lyrics above, particularly:

You've been all over
And it's been all over you

Here are the dot points from the article:

Grief needs to be expressed in some way – either privately or with witnesses, in order to heal. [..]

Some people say that suffering is a private matter because..

• It’s important to avoid embarrassment and rejection by your tribe


• It’s important to protect the parts of yourself that are most vulnerable


• It’s important to protect other people from pain


• It’s important to take your pain to “professionals” who know how to deal with it


• During grieving, it’s important to tune out external influences and tune into your own inner wisdom


• It’s important not to focus on your suffering in a public way because what you focus on grows

[..]

On the other hand, some people say that suffering can be more easily negotiated when it’s out in the open because:

• Keeping your suffering private engenders self-judgment, shame, loneliness and pain


• Sharing your suffering brings people together


• Sharing your suffering facilitates healing


• Sharing your suffering promotes resilience – in yourself and others

[..] the benefits of sharing your suffering with empathic people are incredibly powerful! It’s scary to share about our suffering, but I don’t want to miss out on such powerful benefits and opportunities for healing!

Have come a long way since the first day of the rest of my life back on Wed 01 Jul 2009. Thought I would capture a photo just now so that I can remember this day, which also just happens to be the 21st Anniversary since the first time that Jenny and I went out to dinner together and to see a Movie Look Who's Talking.

Geoff - 21 Months Down the Track - Alexandria (0:16am Wed 30 Mar 2011)
Geoff - "an early start for the first day of the rest of my life - 'where do you start?'" - Alexandria - 7am Wed 01 Jul 2009 (picasa)

Beautiful Day Lyrics

The heart is a bloom
Shoots up through the stony ground
There's no room
No space to rent in this town

You're out of luck
And the reason that you had to care
The traffic is stuck
And you're not moving anywhere

You thought you'd found a friend
To take you out of this place
Someone you could lend a hand
In return for grace

It's a beautiful day
Sky falls, you feel like
It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away

You're on the road
But you've got no destination
You're in the mud
In the maze of her imagination

You love this town
Even if that doesn't ring true
You've been all over
And it's been all over you

It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
It's a beautiful day

Touch me
Take me to that other place
Teach me
I know I'm not a hopeless case

See the world in green and blue
See China right in front of you
See the canyons broken by cloud
See the tuna fleets clearing the sea out
See the Bedouin fires at night
See the oil fields at first light
And see the bird with a leaf in her mouth
After the flood all the colors came out

It was a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
Beautiful day

Touch me
Take me to that other place
Reach me
I know I'm not a hopeless case

What you don't have you don't need it now
What you don't know you can feel it somehow
What you don't have you don't need it now
Don't need it now
Was a beautiful day