What I think about when I think by the side of the River Charles - Boston (Mon 22 Aug 2011)

Jogging Path (1 of 5) - Charles River / Boston (Mon 22 Aug 2011)
Jogging Path (2 of 5) - Charles River / Boston (Mon 22 Aug 2011)

Jogging Path (3 of 5) - Charles River / Boston (Mon 22 Aug 2011)
Jogging Path (4 of 5) - Charles River / Boston (Mon 22 Aug 2011)
On a whim, I recently bought myself a copy of Haruki Murakami's (*) book, What I Talk About When I Talk About Running (*). As I read it, I was quite taken by the following passage ..

It's been 10 years since I lived in Cambridge [Boston]. When I saw the Charles River again, a desire to run swept over me. Generally, unless some change takes place, rivers always look the same, and the Charles River in particular looked totally unchanged. Time had passed, students had come and gone, I'd aged ten years, and there'd literally been a lot of water under the bridge. But the river has remained unaltered. The water still flows swiftly, and silently, toward Boston Harbour. The water soaks the shoreline, making the grasses grow thick [..]

Maybe because it's the home of the Boston Marathon, Cambridge is full of runners. The jogging path along the Charles goes on forever, and if you wanted to you could run for hours. The problem is, it's used by cyclists, so you have to watch out for speeding bikes whizzing past from behind. At various places, too, there are cracks in the pavement you have to make sure you don't trip over, and a couple of long traffic signals you can get stuck at, which can put a kink in your run. Otherwise, it's a wonderful jogging run.

I sat beside the River Charles. It was late afternoon on the last day of our 4 days in Boston. We had arrived on the Friday from a week in New York. Here are a few photos from my time sitting by the River Charles.

We had already been away for a day short of 4 weeks and it would be another 3 weeks before arriving back home. I was enjoying the trip but was thinking a lot about all the changes that had been occurring in my life - I was without a car and I had moved back to Kirrawee while I waited for my house, I had never really planned or contemplated to live in, to become available while I was away. Tried not to think about these things too much from a far, as I had no control over them. Instead, I just sat myself down on a seat bench by the River Charles and tried to think of other things.

I sat there in the beautiful afternoon sun, I thought of many things. I thought of all the other times I had been to Boston, what took me there and what I did while I was there. I also tried to remember who I was and what I was doing in my life around the time of each trip.

September and October 1988 was the first trip, and it would be just under a year before I would meet Jenny for the first time.

I reflected on the two years since Jenny had left us and all the things that happened since that time. In some ways, it was just sitting there by the River Charles, that I finally stopped and had a chance to clear my thoughts and to really think about things.

I had really kept myself busy and distracted since Jenny's passing (*) - it was one way of coping with the enormity of Jenny's loss. In some ways, I was starting to forget things - who I was, the things that we had done and what I thought I was going to do with my life.

As I sat there by the River Charles, I watched the walkers, runners and bicycle riders go past. Their long shadows, created by the late afternoon sun, are what struck me and this is what kept me interested as I captured these photos. I wondered who these people were, what had brought them to Boston and whether one of them was the future creator of the next social media craze.

A couple of rowers set off from near where I sat and I wondered if they were the Winklevii (*) of Facebook fame (*).

MIT / TIM - Charles River / Back Bay / Boston (Mon 22 Aug 2011)

As I sat there I could see tiny sail boats, standup paddle boards and wind surfers. One wind surfer was fairly inexperienced and a more experienced wind surfer went to his aid, if only to provide advice and moral support, in the knowledge of just being there.

The small sailing boats were from MIT, which is just across the River, and it was only when I saw through the transparent sails, that I realised that in reverse, MIT, spells TIM, my late Brother's name - so I thought about him for a little while. He had been to Boston a few times also, so I thought about all the same things for Tim. Maybe he had sat here and pondered some of the same things, 25 years earlier? I also wondered why I had never made the MIT to TIM connection. Or thinking about it now, I think I may have thought about it a long time ago, but maybe I had forgotten remembering the connection.

Have been to Boston four times prior to this trip and I have visited it on each of my trips to the USA. The last time was just over 17 years earlier in April 1994, where I had hoped I might be able to run the Boston Marathon (*).

Now as I sit here and think about the things I thought about by the River Charles in Boston that late afternoon on Mon 22 Aug 2011, I can now see where Haruki Murakami's (*) ran along the side of the same river on the very path he captured in words above and I have captured in the photos on this page. I also now have an appreciation and can imagine where he found part of the inspiration to write What I Talk About When I Talk About Running (*), which I am now reading and enjoying.

That will do for now. Just leave it here.

Jogging Path (5 of 5) - Charles River / Boston (Mon 22 Aug 2011)
A bit of ramble to mark my 700th Post here.

The Time of Your Life ..

Memories of Jenny - The Time of Your Life (youtube)

As many of you will know, I have another obsession in my life beyond paddling - Photography.

I started out buying a small digital camera for our Dec 2000 trip to the Cook Islands to visit Jenny and Jo's Meditation teacher, Barbara, who had moved there to help setup a refuge for women . We didn’t know a thing about paddling back then.

I had bought the camera hoping I would be able to capture our memories. It was a tiny digital camera by today’s standards, 1 Mega Pixel and it cost $1600 duty free and a 64 MB compact flash memory cost more than $300.

I did not flinch and I thought it was all worth it, as my credit card was swiped at Ted’s Pitt Street Camera Store the day before we flew out. 15 years later I can tell you here that it was one of the best things I ever did.

My motivation for the camera came from that fact that Jenny had 11 tumours in her lungs and I did not really know how long we would have together. In the end we had just over 9 years of married life. Given Jenny’s condition, a miracle really ..

We were married on 30th April of that Sydney Olympic year and we honeymooned on Lord Howe Island for 10 glorious days in May 2000. Jenny had a film camera and she took many photos.

On our return flight to Sydney, I remember a conversation we had at the Departure Terminal with an older couple from Whyalla who congratulated us on our marriage. We had briefly met them at dinner at one of the small restaurants on the Island.

They told us they had been married for many years and the trip to Lord Howe Island was a way of creating another experience in life and expanding their memories. Better than [running a busy business or] sitting at home and watching the Telly, they said.

This conversation and piece of simple worldly wisdom has stuck with me and I remind myself of it constantly. It was my main motivation to buy that small expensive digital camera for our December 2000 trip to the Cook Islands.

I took many photos that trip to Cook Islands, even of the Outrigger Canoes on the shore of Muri Lagoon - we had no idea what they were – who would guess our future.

Shortly after our return, Jenny and Jo found Dragon Boating. And over the ensuing years many experiences and memories were created, dutifully captured by our cameras.

I documented the many dragon boat campaigns here and abroad, and ensuing holidays that followed each event.

In the process of this documenting I came to realise the power of photography, not only its visual power, but its ability to record our experiences and remind us of things we have done and who we were. We were doing selfies before the term was even invented. We called them “Holdouts” and I think this might be the main cause of Jo’s shoulder injury.

In those last few weeks at St George Hospital in Jun 2009, I captured the last moments of our lives together. They are the best I ever made.

After Jenny’s passing, It took me a while to pick up a camera again. I had lost my purpose and will. I was hurting and numb all at once but paddled through for a year or two – it helped a lot to be busy and in the company of friends. New experiences were created and I even smiled [for] a little [while].

Lost in the enormity of what had happened so quickly, though it was not a surprise, I found my first moments of comfort and hope, when I decided to start looking at some of the photos from our lives together. It made me cry, but it also made me smile. I was so happy that I had this archive of bits and bytes to remind me of Jenny, Joanne, myself and who we were.

It was only after Jo told me to organise my photos and my Mum said I should start making photos again, that I started to move forward. I was completely broken but I took up their advice and kept myself busy again, organising and photographing again. I am still broken but I live with it better now, it is part of me and who I will always be, but I am happy, optimistic, naïve and creating more experiences.

So I guess what I am trying to say is that we have to go out there and make our memories through the experiences we create for ourselves.

In our lives we have loss, grief and bereavement. It is a part of living. You make a choice when it knocks on your door. And we have chosen to live in the Afterglow of our loss of Jenny – to remember and honour and be guided and inspired. Accept it and live with it and make the most of it, even let it inspire and motivate you. And that is what Jo and I have done, I would like to think.

“Believe in Hope” as the graffiti’ed wall in Cleveland Street said for a few weeks in July 2015.

Believe in Hope - Cleveland Street / Chippendale (Wed 29 Jul 2015)

Seven year ago today.

We remember Jenny. She (as they all do) lives on through our memories.

A Story About a Camera - 2015 Inspire Award Reflections (Fri 27 Aug 2015)

Memories of Jenny - The Time of Your Life (youtube)

This is my 2000th post here at eljeiffel.

I always try to write something for the Annual Presentation of the Inspire Award. Most times it is just for me, but sometimes I share it with a few people. So here it is, unedited from the time it was written on the evening of Fri 27 Aug 2015. I think it is a pretty good way to mark the milestone.

As many will know, I have another obsession in my life - Photography.

I started out buying a small digital camera for our Dec 2000 trip to the Cook Islands to visit Jenny and Jo's Meditation teacher, Barbara, who had moved there to help setup a refuge for women . We didn’t know a thing about paddling back then.

I had bought the camera hoping I would be able to capture our memories. It was a tiny digital camera by today’s standards, 1 Mega Pixel and it cost $1600 duty free and a 64 MB compact flash memory cost more than $300.

I did not flinch and I thought it was all worth it, as my credit card was swiped at Ted’s Camera Store the day before we flew out. 15 years later I can tell you here that it was one of the best things I ever did.

My motivation for the camera came from that fact that Jenny had 11 tumours in her lungs and I did not really know how long we would have together. In the end we had just over 9 years of married life. Given Jenny’s condition, a miracle really ..

We were married on 30th April of that Sydney Olympic year and we honeymooned on Lord Howe Island for 10 glorious days in May 2000. Jenny had a film camera and she took many photos.

On our return flight to Sydney, I remember a conversation we had at the Departure Terminal with an older couple from Whyalla who congratulated us on our marriage. We had briefly met them at dinner at one of the small restaurants on the Island.

They told us they had been married for many years and the trip to Lord Howe Island was a way of creating another experience in life and expanding their memories. Better than [running a busy business or] sitting at home and watching the Telly, they said.

This conversation and piece of simple worldly wisdom has stuck with me and I remind myself of it constantly. It was my main motivation to buy that small expensive digital camera for our December 2000 trip to the Cook Islands.

I took many photos that trip to Cook Islands, even of the Outrigger Canoes in the lagoon at Aitutaka, we had no idea what they were – who would guess our future.

Shortly after our return, Jenny and Jo found Dragon Boating. And over the ensuing years many experiences and memories were created, dutifully captured by our cameras.

I documented the many dragon boat campaigns here and abroad, and ensuing holidays that followed each event.

In the process of this documenting I came to realise the power of photography, not only its visual power, but its ability to record our experiences and remind us of things we have done and who we were. We were doing selfies before the term was even invented. We called them “Holdouts” and I think this might be the main cause of Jo’s shoulder injury.

In those last few weeks at St George Hospital in Jun 2009, I captured the last moments of our lives together. They are the best I ever made.

After Jenny’s passing, It took me a while to pick up a camera again. I had lost my purpose and will. I was hurting and numb all at once but paddled through for a year or two – it helped a lot to be busy and in the company of friends. New experiences were created and I even smiled [for] a little [while].

Lost in the enormity of what had happened so quickly, though it was not a surprise, I found my first moments of comfort and hope, when I decided to start looking at some of the photos from our lives together. It made me cry, but it also made me smile. I was so happy that I had this archive of bits and bytes to remind me of Jenny, Joanne, myself and who we were.

It was only after Jo told me to organise my photos and my Mum said I should start making photos again, that I started to move forward. I was completely broken but I took up their advice and kept myself busy again, organising and photographing again. I am still broken but I live with it better now, it is part of me and who I will always be, but I am happy, optimistic, naïve and creating more experiences.

So I guess what I am trying to say is that we have to go out there and make our memories through the experiences we create for ourselves. And this is what I love about PD’s, we are always out there doing something. This time last year we were in Bologna on our way to Ravena, this year we are heading to Hawaii in the next week and month, next year Adelaide and who knows where after that.

Finally, in our lives we have loss, grief and bereavement. It is a part of living. You make a choice when it knocks on your door. And we have chosen to live in the Afterglow of our loss of Jenny – to remember and honour and be guided and inspired. Accept it and live with it and make the most of it, even let it inspire and motivate you. And that is what Jo and I have done, I would like to think.

“Believe in Hope” as the graffiti’ed wall in Cleveland Street said for a few weeks in July 2015.

Believe in Hope - Cleveland Street / Chippendale (Wed 29 Jul 2015)

With this post it is time to let go of a lot things, including the photos of another time and life. I have shed my life here (and Facebook more recently) like a snake sheds it skin and there is nothing left but to start over again. Time to move on, but it is hard to let go .. but I will.

Trying to make a new start here (arotlt.com) with photos from this point onwards. There will be the occasional post at eljeiffel to mark the odd moment in our lives that are relevant, but for now thanks for coming along for the ride these last, almost, 7 years.

symbolically the black rose suggests death, or the completion of a long journey (Trent Parke’s moving Black Rose photo exhibition at Art Gallery of SA ) - Black Rose / Fitzroy Street / Newtown (Sun 29 Nov 2015)

Favourite Photos - Newtown 2007 - King Street - 'Communication'

Communication - King Street, Newtown, Sydney - Wed 14 Mar 2007 (picasa)
Second photo from a collection of favourite photos.

I had been to the Dendy Cinema to see a movie a few days earlier and was struck by the light and this scene when I left around 6pm. The late afternoon light in Sydney is beautiful this time of the year - interestingly enough it is almost 3 years ago to the day this photo was taken. Unfortunately I did not have my camera with me at this time, so I made a mental note to come back at some stage in the near future - which would turn out to be just a few days later.

On the day this photo was captured, I had taken a half day off work, in the afternoon, so that I could attend one of Jenny's medical appointments at St George Hospital. I was in my car on the way to meet Jenny and Joanne for the appointment when Jenny called to say that the appointment had been cancelled due to unforseen circumstances and that we should meet at Dragon Boat training that night back in the City.

I had a few hours to spare, so I thought I would go back to Newtown and have a coffee at Urban Bites (a favourite haunt for me, but the opposite end of King Street to the Dendy) for a coffee. When I was there I remembered the photo I wanted to take and I realised I had my camera. Decided to take the 10 min walk back to the Dendy to take this photo which had similar lighting to what I had seen a few days earlier.

I guess what I like about this particular photo is the composition. I only took a couple of photos and really did not look at it closely until I downloaded it to my computer. There I could see all the detail - things I really had not noticed when I took it.

I saw all the signs - things telling us what to do (the "No Stopping" and "No Entry" signs [1], "One Way" and parking signs), and the signs that identify things. For instance the Map of Africa and all the countries identified, the graffiti tag and the nice frame around the Map, the number plates that identify the motor bikes and scooters, etc.

A couple of other things I liked were the:

1. Pole Poster where you see the word "Pixels" - the smallest element of each digital photo - you can see it between the "No Entry" Sign and the white pillar (might have to look at the large version to notice).
   
   
2. Person in the centre of the photo - particularly his position and the shadow area of the background he fills as well his position between the foreground shadows. I also love the tattoos on his arms and legs, and the fact that he is communicating with someone using his Mobile Phone. His T-Shirt and bag have some text and logos on them. Also like how the shadow of the Bike Rack just catches his foot - I did get lucky [2] in many ways, as there is no way I could have planned all of this.
   

As you can see, many things can found in a simple photo that is captured in a fraction of a section. It is also interesting how circumstances sometime conspire to allow a photo to be taken.

I entered this photo in the 2007 Sydney Life Competition (unfortunately can't find an archive of the official page though I found a media release here). I always try each year to make an entry to the competition as it is open to all photographers, though it is virtually impossible for non-established photographers to make the final 22-26 images. Will keep trying though :-)

There is another story about this location which will come in another favourite photo at a later date.

[1] I would always say to Jenny a good photo always has a little bit of red in it and this is a theme you will see in many of my photos.

[2] Also would often tell Jenny, there was a lot of luck in taking photos (though like all things involving luck, you often make you own luck) and that if you take enough photos you are bound to end up with a few your like (i.e. keepers).

Eric Kim / Street Photographer - Talk - University of NSW / Sydney (Fri 20 Apr 2012)

Jo and I attended a talk (*) by Eric Kim (*) hosted by the University of NSW Photoclub (*).

Eric is a young (just 24 years old) and enthusiastic street photographer and blogger (been following him for a while now), and a great presenter. The talk was well attended with at least 300-400 people attending and Eric was treated like a Rockstar.

Eric Kim - The Flyer - UNSW (Fri 20 Apr 2012)
The 2 hour presentation was split into two parts with a brief break where Eric was more than happy to photographed with anyone and by anyone who had a camera, and there were a few.

Part of of talk included a slide show of some his Projects with some background to the photos. I hoped he would present the flyer photo and for me it was about the hands.I waited for him to do the obvious with his hands. When the obvious moment came, I pressed my shutter release and I heard a couple of other shutters open and close at the same time.

Eric explained the importance of watching for expressions, gestures and hand movements to create an engaging photo. This is often reinforced to me when I watch a speech or media conference and you will only hear the voice of the presenter, and when a gesture is made, most often with the hands, the voice is often overwhelmed by the sounds of the assembled media pack shutters, and the strobe-like effect of the flashes.

Eric Kim - The Hands - UNSW (Fri 20 Apr 2012)
At the end of the talk, the Camera Club's Committee presented Eric with a copy of the Bruce Davidson (*) book titled Subway (*). I flicked through the book after meeting Eric and I would highly recommend it and it is now on my wish list.

Eric Kim - - UNSW (Fri 20 Apr 2012)
While Jo and I waited to meet with Eric after the talk and book presentation, I grabbed a couple of photos of Eric. The one at end of this post I feel is best as I have captured Eric in a moment where he is not performing for the camera.

In some ways I feel I have captured the part of Eric where he struggles with his new found, and well deserved, celebrity status. As he said in reply to a question towards the end of the talk, he found traveling rewarding and at the same time very challenging, mentioning the impact it had on him physically, mentally and spiritually.

Eric, thanks for the great talk and inspiration you provide to 1000's of people across the world. Your success is well deserved and I wish you all the best as you pursue your dreams.

Geoff, Eric and Jo - Jo shows Eric perfect holdout photo technique with the only holdout photo of the night with Eric - UNSW (Fri 20 Apr 2012)
Eric Kim - Reflection - UNSW (Fri 20 Apr 2012)

On Uncomfortableness - Iain S. Thomas (Sun 26 Apr 2015)

Reeds and Bird in Flight - Adelaide (Fri 01 May 2015)

Iain S. Thomas on Uncomfortable:

Uncomfortableness isn't something to be avoided. Uncomfortableness must be embraced. It is how we achieve what we set out to achieve.[..]

Introducing uncomfortableness into the system, into the process you're going through, isn't going to mess it up. The uncomfortableness in the system quite often is the system. It's the walls of the house you're building, whether that house is a business, a career, your art or an exercise routine. [..]

It is the strain against the muscle when you exercise that builds it. It is the hours you spend studying that earn you your diploma. It is the patience you have with each other that grows a strong marriage. And, ironically, whether it's doing the dishes or running or anything else, expecting that life will be easy and comfortable is the surest path to pain and frustration.

So, I wish you peace, and an uncomfortable day.

via The Art of Being Uncomfortable by Iain S. Thomas.

When you are shy, profoudly shy, and I was born with shyness deeply embedded in me, almost every moment of your life is uncomfortable. The only respite coming when you are in a familiar environment by yourself or in the company of those that love and understand you for who you are. Everything seems hard, but I have managed and have survived to live a rewarding and fulfilling life. I have achieved things I never thought possible, some of which is captured here in my humble blog. And maybe that is why I do this, to demonstrate to myself that I am doing something with my Life, in spite of how hard it always seems and feels.

I have Iain's Book I Wrote this for You. I don't know how I stumbled across it, but I can relate to his words which are also on his blog (iwrotethisforyou.me).

This is what I thought when I read the above and so it is uncomfortably and awkwardly captured here in this post.

"That is my life story up until now" - Remembering Jenny (Mon 06 Jul 2009)

The cackle of a Laughing Kookaburra announces the first light of dawn as the sun rose on that cold winters day. With no sleep that night preparing for Jenny's Funeral later in the day, I penned these words to honour Jenny's Life at her Funeral. Six and half years later, looking back at what came out in those last few hours, I am happy. What strikes me most is how I chose to "reflect on the little things". And they are what I miss most. Here it is ..

Jennifer Joy Petterson
24 Mar 1962 - 30 Jun 2009
Age 47 years 3 months and 6 days

"That is my life story up until now."

This is how Jenny ended her "Autobiography" written in 5th class (being 1972). I always enjoyed reading this lengthy account (it had 3 three parts) of Jenny's life up to the age of 10. I loved this story and scanned the original into my computer so that I could read it during a quiet moment at work.

Jenny was the eldest identical twin daughter of Norm and Margaret Petterson of Holt Road, Sylvania. With feet eagerly pressing on Jenny's back at the birth, a younger sister followed 5 minutes after Jenny's arrival. This was her identical twin sister Joanne. She was ready to play and from that time on they were inseparable. On the day of their birth Jenny writes there was a fete at the hospital. Jenny would always tell me that Norm bought a wind up koala at the fete that played music. For some reason she did not write this

The Autobiography, even at the age of 10, shows that Jenny had an eye for detail, as this quote reveals.

"At the age of 4 years and 10 months and 15 days we started school and cried when mummy left us."

It documents many facts and figures - birth weights and lengths, when they first walked, where they holidayed and details such as the colour of the caravans they stayed in - all well recorded for prosperity.

They participated in many sporting activities (which has been a constant throughout Jenny's life) - swimming, physie, jazz ballet, and little athletics, to mention a few.

Furthermore, she recalls the date of their first hair cut. - and even allowing me to determine that her first tooth fell out on my 7th birthday .

More generally what can be summarized from the autobiography is that Jenny had a fun filled, active childhood with her sister Joie and friends, which was encouraged and fostered by their loving parents.

Even as babies there seemed to be an order to things and this became even more apparent once they started to talk (yes that date is also recorded). In Part 1 of Jenny's Autobiography:

"One the 3rd Oct 1964 we had our first haircut and Joie said, 'Denny First', meaning Jenny first".

Jenny even then was a stabilizing influence on Joanne.

As stated above Jenny finishes her "Autobiography" with:

"That is my life story up until now."

Obviously she looks forward to the future and how she will fit into the world as she grows up. In recent years these words struck a chord with me. Today, these words have even greater meaning.

Jenny and Jo progressed to Sylvania High. They started part time work at Grace Bros’, Miranda Fair. Jo in "Cosmetics and Womens Clothing" and Jenny in "Hardware and Gardening" - "Same, Same but Different". I often asked Jenny to recall these days and I would get a kick when she could still recite the cost codes of power tools and various hardware items. The attention for detail was paying off out in the real world!!

During high school, the Girls ramped up their sporting activities and started to focus on Athletics, Cross Country Running and also a bit of Tennis. Interestingly enough, Jo and I would have crossed paths at the CHS State Cross Country Championships held at Hurlstone Ag College in 1977.

They also found time to also progress from Brownies to Girl Guides. Musters and camps were attended and they both rose quickly though the ranks to Patrol Leaders, finally achieving the highest rank of Queen's Guide with presentation of the award by the Governor of NSW, Sir Rodden Cuttler.

School and High School Certificates were sat and good grades recorded in all subjects. Geography was Jenny's favourite - definitely an early sign of a future "Travel Bug". She loved a map and an atlas, and this remained another constant throughout her life.

Successful Grades accomplished in the HSC saw the Girls accepted into the Bachelor of Business at UTS.

Following interviews the Girls accepted Business/Administration cadetships with the Electricity Commission of NSW. Our lives crossed similar paths again, as I had the same Interviewer for my successful application for an Engineering Cadetship. We were now working for the same company - be it 12,000 people.

Group assignments were the norm at UTS and they always found it easier if the group consisted of two members - more specifically themselves. Minimizing traveling, they were on the same wavelength, which provided for a consistent approach to completing the assignment just in time.

At work, as was the case during their school days at Sylvania, Jenny and Jo made many friends. There were lots of "Work Outings" with friends from [Work and] Uni.

Being at an age to travel independently, they made many "trips away". These were always well documented with many photographs taken, always with people in them (themselves typical) and some local landmark behind.

Jenny documents in a 1995 twin survey that they had traveled overseas on 13 occasions, as well as numerous holidays in Australia.

At work Jenny was provided with early work experiences, mainly in Purchasing (there were lots of cost codes to remember there). Jenny then pursued a career in Internal Audit, specializing in large mainframe computer systems and business systems. This was the days before PC's. Joanne followed a more traditional path into financial and management accounting. As PC progresses throughout the organization, there were now many PC Id numbers to remember.

All kinds of sporting activities were tried and some pursued more than others. The main sport would then become Touch Football, participating in three separate competitions each week. Also they found the water and learnt to row single and double sculls, as well as 4's and 8's.

Through a combined interest in running, Jenny and I crossed paths in organising our company's participation in the inaugural Corporate Games held in Nov 1989. I can remember the first time we met and I how I was instantly attracted to her smile, blue eyes and lovely [nature]. On the [day of the Games] I realized that Jenny was an identical twin. We all had a great day.

Afterwards, I often thought of Jenny and a few months later out of the blue, she arranged to give me a team photo from the day and then asked me to partner her to a wedding. I was stunned. We agreed to go out on 30th March 1990 before the wedding in order to get to know each other better. We had dinner and saw a movie. She then showed me photo albums of her travels late into the night - it just seemed so easy to listen and talk to her and even then I hoped that she we would be the one for me. I could not believe she was interested in me. After a month we were going out and a 10 year courtship ensued.

During this time many milestones and life changing experiences occurred. The Girls completed their Masters [in Finance at UTS], Norm (their father) passed away suddenly in hospital, on [Tue 0]2 Jun 1992.

In late Mar 1997 Jenny was diagnosed with breast cancer and a mastectomy followed a few weeks later. She returned to work and got on with her life. On New Years Eve 1997, Margaret (their mother) was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Margaret was referred to Jodi as her Oncologist and numerous chemo courses followed. The Girls would attend all consultations with her. Around the same time Jenny's cancer recurred in the scar tissue of the mastectomy. This is when Jodi also became Jenny's Oncologist. Now Margaret and Jenny were having chemo at the same time.

Through a cancer course at Royal Nth Shore, Jenny found Barbara (now Sister Suscila) and that's where they found meditation and a natural/spiritual approach to healing. Around this time Jenny also joined the Sutherland Shire Cancer Support Group which was facilitated by Liz, a social worker with Calvary.

Stong relationships were established and developed with Jodi, Suscila and Liz and though each of their own skill sets and support networks helped influence Jenny's approach and ensuing journey with cancer. I believe they helped Jenny to embrace her cancer and to live life to the full.

Unfortunately Margaret's cancer was quite advanced and spread quickly. Jodi saw in Jenny and Joanne a strength of character and asked them to care palliatively for Margaret at home, while she would make house calls. This has been Jenny and Jo's greatest gift in life, caring for their mother at home for 8 weeks (Jenny was still having her chemo at this time) until Margaret succumbed to her cancer on 28 April 1999 (her wedding anniversary).

Jenny's breast cancer spread to her lungs and in late 1999 scans revealed 10 tumors. A hormone therapy treatment started. Jenny and Jo traveled to visit Suscila in Alice Springs and visited Uluru for the Millennium. Jenny would recall later that she had an amazing experience lying in the red desert sand at the foot of Uluru.

Shortly after her return from Uluru we became engaged and we set about organizing our wedding in just 10 weeks. The big day being the 30th April 2000. What a day. We sang “Song of Joy”. We exchanged vows and rings and then kissed as Husband and Wife. At the reception we made toasts, spoke and danced the night away. A rainbow theme being the unifying element with rainbow inspired flowers, ribbons, cake, speeches and songs. We honeymooned on Lord Howe and shortly after our return Jenny retired from work to pursue her passions (on Jodi's suggestion).

At the Sydney Olympics later that year we must have held the record for the most sessions attended - handball becoming our favourite. We had many fond and inspiring memories from the whole event.

At that time, just over 9 years ago, we had no idea how long we would have together. This did not stop us and we tried to live a normal life with goals set for six months at a time. Holidays were planned and taken - a trip to the Cook Islands to visit Susila over Xmas 2000, a 4 week trip to North West Australia in May 2001 and a return to Lord Howe in Oct 2001 so Joanne and my Mother could share the experience.

Another constant was our annual trip to Mt Kosciusko for a benchmarking 22km walk around the Main Range. This year was her hardest effort – but she did it. Maybe it was a sign of things to come.

In late 2000 I bought a small digital camera to document our travels and lives. I did not know how much time we would have share and the camera gave me some comfort that I could capture our memories.

Jenny's cancer was ever persistent and there was always something going on - radiation, more chemo, hormone injections or tablets and numerous operations - we could watch “House” and could easily relate to the medical terms.

Through one of her chemo treatments, Jenny found a Dragons Abreast flyer at the hospital. This would be start of the biggest change in our lives. Jenny and Joanne took to paddling like "ducks to water" and I found myself photographing them and the dragon boats that they trained and raced. It gave them opportunities to travel wide and far. Our holidays were now planned around Dragon Boat regattas locally and internationally.

Jo would make the NSW and Australian Team to Poland in 2003. Jenny was held back by a course of chemo and numerous trips to the hospital. She still remained involved by videoing the teams at time trials at Penrith.

In 2004 she would make the NSW Team and compete for her country in the World Championships in Shanghai. There could not have been a prouder person when Joanne's Premier Mixed Team won a bronze medal in the 500m race.

During the 2004 Shanghai campaign Jenny’s journey was captured by an Australian Story episode titled "In the Pink". She was nervous participant and a little uncertain about how it would be scripted and received. We all nervously awaited its airing on that June long weekend Monday - unaware as to its content. The episode captured the essence of the Dragons Abreast Movement in Australia, showing all sides to cancer and it's impact - positive and negative.

The episode would popularize Dragons Abreast Australia beyond it's creators wildest dreams. Clubs quickly popped up everywhere across the country and continue to do so. Meanwhile, Jenny and Joanne would become the most well known (yet most humble) paddlers in Australia.

Others today have told of Jenny's inspiring feats on the water and there is no need for me to repeat them. She just loved to paddle and found great comfort amongst her paddling colleagues. It provided a sense of normality to her life and she just seem to fit in, even with compression sleeve on her right arm or the missing hair on her head which was always discreetly hidden by a colourful selection of bandana's.

Jenny empowered many people (with and without) cancer to pursue their dreams. She will live on through Joanne and I and no doubt many others from her inspiring journey. Thinking of Jenny will help influence our decisions and motivate us to achieve our dreams and to decide what is right.

I will miss hearing you breath as you slept. I will miss calling out “I love you” as I leave for work each day. Whistling at the front door when I got home and hearing you whistle back. You were the most amazing thing to happen in my life I am having trouble comprehending the way forward. You provided me with love and gave me hope and life purpose. I would always say to Jenny “I am the lucky one”.

A couple of quotes from her regular talks and Australian Story follow and I think there is something there to inspire us all. No matter the circumstance.

“Cancer is something that people do not expect to happen to them and no matter who is diagnosed, and at whatever time in their life, it is a shock which has huge ramifications for not only the person involved but also their family and friends. It takes a lot of adjustment to get used to.”

“I feel I am so lucky and have a wonderful life. I have had some great opportunities through breast cancer to meet some very inspiring people. Geoff and Jo have been a constant source of support for me. Breast cancer has totally changed my life but for the best.”

“I don't understand how things work out, and why things work out the way they do. I feel like I've been lucky. I don't understand how cancer works, I don't know why I've been blessed the way I have been.”

“It's just in the lap of the gods.”

Enjoy your new “Island Home” and those that surround you [there]. You know that “We’ll be There” and we know that “You’ll be There”.

As we said to each other before we nodded off each night .. Jenny:

“Good Night, God Bless, I Love You.”

"That is my life story up until now."

Macau 2010: CCWC 2010 Mixed 500m Finals

Another video of the CCWC 2010 Mixed 500m Finals, including a couple of minutes of post race celebration on the water.
Nice to have these memories captured on video.

knowing how powerful it is not to know - Bono / Brooklyn (22 Nov 2004)

Thomas, Grant, Betty, Lynn and Grace - Manahattan bound - I don't know who was more excited - Grace or me (and I was not even going along) - Departure Gate / Sydney International Airport (Sun 19 Dec 2010)
Recently posted a video clip of a U2 Performance of the City of Blinding Light at the foot of the Brooklyn Bridge in Empire - Fulton Ferry State Park.

In the preamble to the performance, Bono becomes quite nostalgic.

In my previous post back on Sat 16 Apr 2011, I included a snippet of his little talk which I have thought about a lot recently.

This is what Bono said in full:

Look at this. That is wild. What a sight. Wow look at that. [Bono pointing to the Brooklyn Bridge]

Sometimes you forget why it was that you wanted to be in a band. So going into this we reminded ourselves of why we wanted to be in a band.

We listened to the albums that excited us when we wanted to be in a band [..] the music and what it felt like to arrive here in the United States. To come over the [Brooklyn] Bridge into Manhattan. Snow was on the ground. It was:

"an amazing magical time in our lives when we did not know how powerful it was not to know".

This is a song about innocence, naivety and it is called "City of Blinding Lights".

The chorus is set in New York City looking at Brooklyn.

I feel that these words are quite profound and the feelings he is trying to describe are universal and generic. They can be applied to not only rock and roll superstars, but mere mortals like myself who progress through life little steps at a time.

I have always recognised the importance of acknowledging your past and to reflect on your past (though it might be painful at times) - it is something I have spent a bit of time on lately. It will help you understand who you have been, who you are now and where you are heading.

Here is the video again ..

City of Blinding Lights / U2 - Empire - Fulton Ferry State Park / Brooklyn Bridge / Brooklyn Bridge / New York (22 Nov 2004 - youtube)
Bono's words make me think of some similar words that have captured my imagination, these words coming from Ken Burns (e) a little bit earlier in that year of 2004 at his 2004 Yale Commencement Speech:

As you pursue your goals in life, that is to say your future, pursue your past. Let it be your guide. Insist on having a past and then you will have a future. [..]

Insist on heroes. And be one. [..]

Travel. Do not get stuck in one place. [..]
Whatever you do, walk over the Brooklyn Bridge.

Ken Burns - 2004 Commencement Yale Class Day Speech (as pdf)

I drift back a little back into my past - 1990. Jenny and I had been going out for about six months and she encouraged and inspired me to achieve one of my Dream's - to run the New York City Marathon ..

Geoff - New York City Marathon - Nov 1990 - Brooklyn (picasa)
I look into my eyes above and I see an innocence, naivety, wonder and hope that Bono talks about above through his own experiences as musician. It all seemed to be in front of us back then and it was.

Jenny and I (and of course Joanne) had an amazing life together and though Jenny is not a part of our physical lives anymore, I would like to think that Jo and I have continued to live an amazing, wonderful and fulfilling life in Jenny's absence. It is my hope that I still have a touch of the same innocence and naivety, that I can see above, as I move forward in my life.

Street Band - 1990 New York City Marathon - Sun 04 Nov 1990
This post is dedicated to my niece Grace and nephew Thomas. To travel and spend time in Manhattan as you did for Christmas 2010 will be a formative experience for you. Use the experience to help guide you as you progress through your life.

Now that's a Snowball - Grace and Thomas (my niece and nephew) - Central Park / Manhattan (Mon 27 Dec 2010)

On Photography - Martin Elkort (Mon 09 Apr 2001)

Untitled - Redfern (Tue 21 Jul 2015)

Martin Elkort on Photography:

When something inside me resonates with what I see, my finger moves to the shutter. In that moment, I have understood and explained both the inner and outer worlds I inhabit. When others see my pictures and react, I know that I have captured a moment in life. These moments are the core of my art.

via Why I Take Pictures by Martin Elkort.

On Beyond Yourself - Rohan Dennis / Cycling Central (Sun 05 Jul 2015)

Sunrise - never wanted to go back, but there I was waiting to build for a Moment way off into the future - and when it was done, it was exhilarating.. - Kurnell (Sun 05 Jul 2015)

Rohan Dennis on Beyond Yourself:

I went off harder than what I thought I should have and I came back harder than what I thought I could.

via Dennis smashes a Tour record to claim the yellow jersey by Cycling Central.

I was reminded this week about a race from my past (eljeiffel: Once Upon A Time). And I have been fortunate enough to have experienced this more than once. To achieve a dream, you have to go out and get it. You have to prepare for the known, More importantly you have to be prepared to face the unknown, but you can't prepare for that really - all you can hope for is that you are doing the right thing. When you have reached that Moment where it is within your grasp, you don't think about the dream, you just go out and do it. It?. What is it? I don't really know what "it" is. You can't define it before or after that Moment. It is defined within those unquantifiable moments that makes a dream come true. Rohan Dennis went out and did it last night and it just might be captured in his words above. Congrats Rohan.

Of course all of this makes no sense. That's what moments like this are meant to be .. that's what happens when you go Beyond Yourself

Intersection - S Ashley St / Tampa (Mon 08 Aug 2011)

Intersection - S Ashley St / Tampa (Mon 08 Aug 2011)
Walking back to the Hotel at the end of the last day of the Regatta, I saw this scene and captured this photo. To me it marked the end of the campaign (*) and maybe the directional arrows on the road meant something to me as I pondered the reality of my experience in Tampa.

Almost 3 months later I have had plenty of time to reflect on my - our - experience and I move forward enjoying my paddling.

I just read the following quote by Kirk Tuck (*) in a great article (*) about doing the things you love ..

Intention? That has to come from you. But I would suggest that, as a functional person, you no doubt find things in life that spark you up. Give you pleasure, satisfaction, happiness. That inflate your will to live. Distill down to those things and make them the base of your art. Then the intention will drive everything else.

From Developing muscle memory and fluid technique is almost as important as developing a sense of purpose (Kirk Tuck - Wed 28 Sep 2009) (*).

It is a great article (*) from a great blog - The Visual Science Blog / Kirk Tuck (*). Not a bad way to look at things.

On Life Purpose - Hands Clean - Alanis Morissette / Live from Abbey Road (YouTube)

Hands Clean - Alanis Morissette (*) / Live from Abbey Road Live (*) [Youtube (*)]
At the end of the first song Hands Clean (*), Alanis gives this amazing calm and lucid insight into fame and her life purpose. Here it is:

[On] Fame. At this point I would say that it is a planetary value - wealth, fame, power at the cost of everything else.

So I think that value being shared around the planet creates in people this thought that if I am famous, I will be happy.

And what I have come to see is that fame only amplified that which was there already.

So if I was depressed or I if I was insecure or if I was angry or whatever it was it just amplified it.

It made everything bigger and it did not sort of give, give me what it had been sort of purported to be able to give.

And so there was this great disillusionment.

[On Life Purpose] At this point in my life I am clearer that I share music because it is part of my life purpose.

To write it is, the act of writing it is for me and the act of sharing it is so that other people can make it their own - they can derive comfort, inspiration or whatever they want to derive from it.

So it becomes an offering of some kind and because of that I can do it and I can work really hard.

If I were singularly doing it to just be in the public eye for gratuitous reasons, than I would probably last about an hour.

This was recorded sometime in 2008, I am guessing. I saw it late one night on the ABC in February 2009 (*).

It was a rather random viewing and because I knew of Alanis' music, I decided to record her segment of the show on my PVR.

Over the ensuing months I would watch it repeatedly, often in the middle of the night, when Jenny had fallen into a deep sleep. I was mesmerised by Alanis' voice, the musicians that supported her and the live performance. In some ways this video takes me back to those last few months with Jenny and the sense of innocence (*) we all had with what we were about to confront (*).

Alanis' words, reflects the the depth of her experience and her delivery touched me back in 2009, and they touch me even more now because of the memories they evoke three years on, as well as her insights into life purpose, something that I have had to grapple with when you feel you have fulfilled your purpose in life.

This recording takes me back to those nights before Jenny's passing where I would watch this video safe in the comfort that she was in the next room, breathing and still with us.

Tonight, I have captured this part of my life here - I tried to add it to my blog back in early 2010, but it was too hard back then. For some reason it seems right to add it now, though I have not been able to fully explain here why. I just think it is amazing.

Bloody Gum - Royal National Park (Sun 28 Jan 2001)

Bloody Gum - Royal National Park (Sun 28 Jan 2001)
I took this photo 10 years to the minute (Blogger's time is 19 hours behind Sydney time). It was the first photo that I took with my little IXUS that I thought was more than just a record of an event or a place (and BTW there is nothing the matter with that).

It was a Sunday, the last day of a long weekend (Australia Day was Friday). Jenny and I decided to do a Sunday afternoon drive down into the Royal National Park and end up at Stanwell Top to watch the hang gliders and to have an ice cream.

Along the way we stopped to look at various features and land marks, mainly the coast line.

For some reason I randomly pulled up into a small dirt parking area along the road in a forested area of the Park. I was drawn to the large Gum Trees at the edge of the parking area and noticed the sap oozing from the bark.

Looking at the photos I took that day, most were of the trees from a distance. The above photo was the only one I took up close to the trees. I set the camera to macro mode and I am pretty sure I would have held the camera about 15 to 20 cm from the side of the tree. I remember getting back to Sylvania and looking through the photos from that day and this was the one that caught my eye. It was beyond anything I had captured up til then.

Around the same time I found photo.net and this was one of the first photo's I submitted to my portfolio. Amazingly, I received a number of critiques which were very helpful and they helped guide me along my photographic journey, particularly this one:

this is a great piece. My only complaint is it's on digital. It would make a wonderful Ilfochrome if it were on film -- gallery quality.
Matthew Kees (22 Sep 2001).

In many ways the photo and the positive feedback I received help me explore photography in a way I had never expected when I first bought the little camera a few months earlier.

I have tagged many of the photos I have taken with the little IXUS, here. Many have become my Favourite Photo's, which I have randomly rambled about on this blog over the last year or so.

Makes me wonder where the last 10 years have gone.

Finally, if I have added up correctly this should be my 300th post.

Favourite Photos - Sydney Town Hall 2003 - Saint Patrick's Day Parade 2003

Saint Patrick's Day Parade 2003 - Town Hall / Sydney 2003 - Sun 16 Mar 2003 (picasa and photo.net)
This is a photo from the Saint Patrick's Day Parade in Sydney in 2003. The parade was held on the Sunday 16 Mar 2003 (7 years ago today - time does fly!!), being a few days before the actual day. I had gone into work for the day as Jenny and Joanne were in New Zealand on a Dragons Abreast Dragon Boat Tour which took place on consecutive weekends for Regattas in Auckland and then Wellington. I remember the time well as they were away when George Bush declared War on Iraq and was concerned that they were away from Australia.

I had just came across the early stages of the Saint Patrick's Day parade in Sydney. I like this photo for the following reasons:

1. I like how I captured how the scene unfolded (see below).


2. How I was able to photograph the photographer. I wonder how his photo turned out and whether they ever look at it. I just assumed, from the medal around the neck of one of the men, that they were official visitors from Ireland - who knows ?


3. I particularly liked the lady in the Green Dress and Hat. It was a little bit amusing that she is looking at my camera and not the one for which she is supposed to be posing for :-)

For the photo below I wrote the following on photo.net:

Moments before - Saint Patrick's Day Parade 2003 - Town Hall / Sydney 2003 - Sun 16 Mar 2003 (picasa and photo.net)
I just took a quick look at this photo again and then decided to look at the originals from that day. Interestingly enough a crop (see image with this comment) of my first photo from the five I took in the minute or so I waited for the lights to change, gives an insight as to how the scene unfolded. Has made me realise how difficult street photography is, or maybe there is a bit of luck involved?

For the next photo I wrote the following on photo.net:

Smiling Faces of Ireland - Saint Patrick's Day Parade 2003 - Town Hall / Sydney 2003 - Sun 16 Mar 2003 (picasa and photo.net)
As the two men swapped places, I was foiled by a passing pedestrain in getting a clear shot. Anyway, I think their smiling faces say it all ..

This photo was taken 7 years ago today. Time flys.

On Intention - The Eye, Heart and Mind - StreetShooter (Thu 08 May 2014)

eljeiffel House (*) - Alexandria (Sun 04 May 2014)
StreetShooter (*) writes On Intent (*):

it’s very easy to adapt (*) the frame (*) to make a photo by moving but it’s more important to be where you are supposed to be and be using what you are supposed to be using because you want what your INTENT (*) wants to be as true to the EYE, HEART and MIND (*) as possible.

via May 8th, 2014 … Fuji X-Pro1 and 23mm May Be as Good as it Gets (*) by StreetShooter (*).

There was a rainbow (*) on the wall of the soon to be lounge room. I placed the camera on the wall and captured the photo above. I was interested to see how it came out. Must have placed the camera in the yellow part of the rainbow. Will experiment a bit more later ..

Jenny - You must be somewhere in London (29 Aug 2005)

Jenny - You must be somewhere in London - The Eye / London (29 Aug 2005)
Was looking through some photos from our trip to Europe in 2005 and I was struck by this one. I remember it as if it was just yesterday. I was so excited to be in London (it was my first time there) and here we were on the Bank Holiday Weekend with weather that would rival the best summer day back in Sydney.

Decided to do the London Eye at sunset. We queued for some time and our timing was perfect as we were lucky enough to be on the Eye when the sunset over the Horizon as we looked out across London (photo to come). Jenny's face glowed as she looked out and I captured this photo as she glanced across to me.

I had completely forgotten about the photo until today. So glad I had a camera with me for the last 10 years.