Showing posts sorted by date for query "left behind". Sort by relevance Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by date for query "left behind". Sort by relevance Show all posts

Saturday, December 26, 2015

Shake it Out - Florence + The Machine / Saturday Night Live (Sat 19 Nov 2011)

Florence + The Machine - Shake It Out (Live on SNL)

I have always loved live performance. The display of skill and passion, along with the rawness being the appeal. And this is the best from the last 7 years here at eljeiffel.

"Oh The Drama" in the Lyrics. And an amazing Performance . Wow!! You can see it in her. That she is loving what she is doing and thst she is sharing her gift to move us.

To the lyrics, I would add my own Optimistic and Naive view of Life and the World ..

you can't keep a good dog down [..]

a candle burns brightest before it goes out [..]

Such a nice song and performance to finish on here at eiffel. As they say:

a star burns brightest before it dies

And this is how it has felt this last year, particularly the last few months.

And so it is onto the last few posts, where my work will be done here.

Shake it Out - Florence + The Machine (Lyrics)

Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play

And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn

And I've been a fool and I've been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I'm always dragging that horse around

All of his questions, such a mournful sound
Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground
So I like to keep my issues drawn
But it's always darkest before the dawn

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa

And I am done with my graceless heart
So tonight I'm gonna cut it out and then restart
'Cause I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa

And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
And given half the chance would I take any of it back
It's a fine romance but it's left me so undone
It's always darkest before the dawn

Oh whoa, oh whoa...

And I'm damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't
So here's to drinks in the dark at the end of my road
And I'm ready to suffering and I'm ready to hope
It's a shot in the dark aimed right at my throat
'Cause looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Looking for heaven, found the devil in me
Well what the hell I'm gonna let it happen to me, yeah

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa

Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa

And out of the the darkeness a new bright light will glow ..

Shake it Out - Florence + The Machine - Saturday Night Live (Sat 19 Nov 2011)

Wednesday, December 23, 2015

"That is my life story up until now" - Remembering Jenny (Mon 06 Jul 2009)

The cackle of a Laughing Kookaburra announces the first light of dawn as the sun rose on that cold winters day. With no sleep that night preparing for Jenny's Funeral later in the day, I penned these words to honour Jenny's Life at her Funeral. Six and half years later, looking back at what came out in those last few hours, I am happy. What strikes me most is how I chose to "reflect on the little things". And they are what I miss most. Here it is ..

Jennifer Joy Petterson
24 Mar 1962 - 30 Jun 2009
Age 47 years 3 months and 6 days

"That is my life story up until now."

This is how Jenny ended her "Autobiography" written in 5th class (being 1972). I always enjoyed reading this lengthy account (it had 3 three parts) of Jenny's life up to the age of 10. I loved this story and scanned the original into my computer so that I could read it during a quiet moment at work.

Jenny was the eldest identical twin daughter of Norm and Margaret Petterson of Holt Road, Sylvania. With feet eagerly pressing on Jenny's back at the birth, a younger sister followed 5 minutes after Jenny's arrival. This was her identical twin sister Joanne. She was ready to play and from that time on they were inseparable. On the day of their birth Jenny writes there was a fete at the hospital. Jenny would always tell me that Norm bought a wind up koala at the fete that played music. For some reason she did not write this

The Autobiography, even at the age of 10, shows that Jenny had an eye for detail, as this quote reveals.

"At the age of 4 years and 10 months and 15 days we started school and cried when mummy left us."

It documents many facts and figures - birth weights and lengths, when they first walked, where they holidayed and details such as the colour of the caravans they stayed in - all well recorded for prosperity.

They participated in many sporting activities (which has been a constant throughout Jenny's life) - swimming, physie, jazz ballet, and little athletics, to mention a few.

Furthermore, she recalls the date of their first hair cut. - and even allowing me to determine that her first tooth fell out on my 7th birthday .

More generally what can be summarized from the autobiography is that Jenny had a fun filled, active childhood with her sister Joie and friends, which was encouraged and fostered by their loving parents.

Even as babies there seemed to be an order to things and this became even more apparent once they started to talk (yes that date is also recorded). In Part 1 of Jenny's Autobiography:

"One the 3rd Oct 1964 we had our first haircut and Joie said, 'Denny First', meaning Jenny first".
Jenny even then was a stabilizing influence on Joanne.

As stated above Jenny finishes her "Autobiography" with:

"That is my life story up until now."

Obviously she looks forward to the future and how she will fit into the world as she grows up. In recent years these words struck a chord with me. Today, these words have even greater meaning.

Jenny and Jo progressed to Sylvania High. They started part time work at Grace Bros’, Miranda Fair. Jo in "Cosmetics and Womens Clothing" and Jenny in "Hardware and Gardening" - "Same, Same but Different". I often asked Jenny to recall these days and I would get a kick when she could still recite the cost codes of power tools and various hardware items. The attention for detail was paying off out in the real world!!

During high school, the Girls ramped up their sporting activities and started to focus on Athletics, Cross Country Running and also a bit of Tennis. Interestingly enough, Jo and I would have crossed paths at the CHS State Cross Country Championships held at Hurlstone Ag College in 1977.

They also found time to also progress from Brownies to Girl Guides. Musters and camps were attended and they both rose quickly though the ranks to Patrol Leaders, finally achieving the highest rank of Queen's Guide with presentation of the award by the Governor of NSW, Sir Rodden Cuttler.

School and High School Certificates were sat and good grades recorded in all subjects. Geography was Jenny's favourite - definitely an early sign of a future "Travel Bug". She loved a map and an atlas, and this remained another constant throughout her life.

Successful Grades accomplished in the HSC saw the Girls accepted into the Bachelor of Business at UTS.

Following interviews the Girls accepted Business/Administration cadetships with the Electricity Commission of NSW. Our lives crossed similar paths again, as I had the same Interviewer for my successful application for an Engineering Cadetship. We were now working for the same company - be it 12,000 people.

Group assignments were the norm at UTS and they always found it easier if the group consisted of two members - more specifically themselves. Minimizing traveling, they were on the same wavelength, which provided for a consistent approach to completing the assignment just in time.

At work, as was the case during their school days at Sylvania, Jenny and Jo made many friends. There were lots of "Work Outings" with friends from [Work and] Uni.

Being at an age to travel independently, they made many "trips away". These were always well documented with many photographs taken, always with people in them (themselves typical) and some local landmark behind.

Jenny documents in a 1995 twin survey that they had traveled overseas on 13 occasions, as well as numerous holidays in Australia.

At work Jenny was provided with early work experiences, mainly in Purchasing (there were lots of cost codes to remember there). Jenny then pursued a career in Internal Audit, specializing in large mainframe computer systems and business systems. This was the days before PC's. Joanne followed a more traditional path into financial and management accounting. As PC progresses throughout the organization, there were now many PC Id numbers to remember.

All kinds of sporting activities were tried and some pursued more than others. The main sport would then become Touch Football, participating in three separate competitions each week. Also they found the water and learnt to row single and double sculls, as well as 4's and 8's.

Through a combined interest in running, Jenny and I crossed paths in organising our company's participation in the inaugural Corporate Games held in Nov 1989. I can remember the first time we met and I how I was instantly attracted to her smile, blue eyes and lovely [nature]. On the [day of the Games] I realized that Jenny was an identical twin. We all had a great day.

Afterwards, I often thought of Jenny and a few months later out of the blue, she arranged to give me a team photo from the day and then asked me to partner her to a wedding. I was stunned. We agreed to go out on 30th March 1990 before the wedding in order to get to know each other better. We had dinner and saw a movie. She then showed me photo albums of her travels late into the night - it just seemed so easy to listen and talk to her and even then I hoped that she we would be the one for me. I could not believe she was interested in me. After a month we were going out and a 10 year courtship ensued.

During this time many milestones and life changing experiences occurred. The Girls completed their Masters [in Finance at UTS], Norm (their father) passed away suddenly in hospital, on [Tue 0]2 Jun 1992.

In late Mar 1997 Jenny was diagnosed with breast cancer and a mastectomy followed a few weeks later. She returned to work and got on with her life. On New Years Eve 1997, Margaret (their mother) was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Margaret was referred to Jodi as her Oncologist and numerous chemo courses followed. The Girls would attend all consultations with her. Around the same time Jenny's cancer recurred in the scar tissue of the mastectomy. This is when Jodi also became Jenny's Oncologist. Now Margaret and Jenny were having chemo at the same time.

Through a cancer course at Royal Nth Shore, Jenny found Barbara (now Sister Suscila) and that's where they found meditation and a natural/spiritual approach to healing. Around this time Jenny also joined the Sutherland Shire Cancer Support Group which was facilitated by Liz, a social worker with Calvary.

Stong relationships were established and developed with Jodi, Suscila and Liz and though each of their own skill sets and support networks helped influence Jenny's approach and ensuing journey with cancer. I believe they helped Jenny to embrace her cancer and to live life to the full.

Unfortunately Margaret's cancer was quite advanced and spread quickly. Jodi saw in Jenny and Joanne a strength of character and asked them to care palliatively for Margaret at home, while she would make house calls. This has been Jenny and Jo's greatest gift in life, caring for their mother at home for 8 weeks (Jenny was still having her chemo at this time) until Margaret succumbed to her cancer on 28 April 1999 (her wedding anniversary).

Jenny's breast cancer spread to her lungs and in late 1999 scans revealed 10 tumors. A hormone therapy treatment started. Jenny and Jo traveled to visit Suscila in Alice Springs and visited Uluru for the Millennium. Jenny would recall later that she had an amazing experience lying in the red desert sand at the foot of Uluru.

Shortly after her return from Uluru we became engaged and we set about organizing our wedding in just 10 weeks. The big day being the 30th April 2000. What a day. We sang “Song of Joy”. We exchanged vows and rings and then kissed as Husband and Wife. At the reception we made toasts, spoke and danced the night away. A rainbow theme being the unifying element with rainbow inspired flowers, ribbons, cake, speeches and songs. We honeymooned on Lord Howe and shortly after our return Jenny retired from work to pursue her passions (on Jodi's suggestion).

At the Sydney Olympics later that year we must have held the record for the most sessions attended - handball becoming our favourite. We had many fond and inspiring memories from the whole event.

At that time, just over 9 years ago, we had no idea how long we would have together. This did not stop us and we tried to live a normal life with goals set for six months at a time. Holidays were planned and taken - a trip to the Cook Islands to visit Susila over Xmas 2000, a 4 week trip to North West Australia in May 2001 and a return to Lord Howe in Oct 2001 so Joanne and my Mother could share the experience.

Another constant was our annual trip to Mt Kosciusko for a benchmarking 22km walk around the Main Range. This year was her hardest effort – but she did it. Maybe it was a sign of things to come.

In late 2000 I bought a small digital camera to document our travels and lives. I did not know how much time we would have share and the camera gave me some comfort that I could capture our memories.

Jenny's cancer was ever persistent and there was always something going on - radiation, more chemo, hormone injections or tablets and numerous operations - we could watch “House” and could easily relate to the medical terms.

Through one of her chemo treatments, Jenny found a Dragons Abreast flyer at the hospital. This would be start of the biggest change in our lives. Jenny and Joanne took to paddling like "ducks to water" and I found myself photographing them and the dragon boats that they trained and raced. It gave them opportunities to travel wide and far. Our holidays were now planned around Dragon Boat regattas locally and internationally.

Jo would make the NSW and Australian Team to Poland in 2003. Jenny was held back by a course of chemo and numerous trips to the hospital. She still remained involved by videoing the teams at time trials at Penrith.

In 2004 she would make the NSW Team and compete for her country in the World Championships in Shanghai. There could not have been a prouder person when Joanne's Premier Mixed Team won a bronze medal in the 500m race.

During the 2004 Shanghai campaign Jenny’s journey was captured by an Australian Story episode titled "In the Pink". She was nervous participant and a little uncertain about how it would be scripted and received. We all nervously awaited its airing on that June long weekend Monday - unaware as to its content. The episode captured the essence of the Dragons Abreast Movement in Australia, showing all sides to cancer and it's impact - positive and negative.

The episode would popularize Dragons Abreast Australia beyond it's creators wildest dreams. Clubs quickly popped up everywhere across the country and continue to do so. Meanwhile, Jenny and Joanne would become the most well known (yet most humble) paddlers in Australia.

Others today have told of Jenny's inspiring feats on the water and there is no need for me to repeat them. She just loved to paddle and found great comfort amongst her paddling colleagues. It provided a sense of normality to her life and she just seem to fit in, even with compression sleeve on her right arm or the missing hair on her head which was always discreetly hidden by a colourful selection of bandana's.

Jenny empowered many people (with and without) cancer to pursue their dreams. She will live on through Joanne and I and no doubt many others from her inspiring journey. Thinking of Jenny will help influence our decisions and motivate us to achieve our dreams and to decide what is right.

I will miss hearing you breath as you slept. I will miss calling out “I love you” as I leave for work each day. Whistling at the front door when I got home and hearing you whistle back. You were the most amazing thing to happen in my life I am having trouble comprehending the way forward. You provided me with love and gave me hope and life purpose. I would always say to Jenny “I am the lucky one”.

A couple of quotes from her regular talks and Australian Story follow and I think there is something there to inspire us all. No matter the circumstance.

“Cancer is something that people do not expect to happen to them and no matter who is diagnosed, and at whatever time in their life, it is a shock which has huge ramifications for not only the person involved but also their family and friends. It takes a lot of adjustment to get used to.”

“I feel I am so lucky and have a wonderful life. I have had some great opportunities through breast cancer to meet some very inspiring people. Geoff and Jo have been a constant source of support for me. Breast cancer has totally changed my life but for the best.”

“I don't understand how things work out, and why things work out the way they do. I feel like I've been lucky. I don't understand how cancer works, I don't know why I've been blessed the way I have been.”

“It's just in the lap of the gods.”

Enjoy your new “Island Home” and those that surround you [there]. You know that “We’ll be There” and we know that “You’ll be There”.

As we said to each other before we nodded off each night .. Jenny:

“Good Night, God Bless, I Love You.”

"That is my life story up until now."

Saturday, March 7, 2015

Remembering Tim - Norwood Park Crematorium / Canberra (Fri 11 Mar 2005)

Tim (my Brother) and Tom (my Dad) - Norwood Park Crematorium / Canberra (Fri 27 Feb 2015)

Today, 10 years on, we Remember Tim:

Timothy Francis Eldridge was born on Wednesday 4 December 1963 in Tamworth NSW. He became the third and youngest child of Thomas and Betty. He had an elder sister, Lynn, spelt with two n's not one as Tim persisted throughout his whole life). Lynn was two years older than Tim. Myself, Geoff being 3 years older was the eldest. His father was an electrical engineer with the Electricity Commision of NSW. The Regional Centre was based in Tamworth and from this office the electricity transmission system in northern NSW grew. The nature of his Father's work often required nights away from home. We all looked forward to Dad's return on Friday Night with a bag of mixed lollies for all.

Lynn and I found as oursleves at school and this gave Tim two years at home with Mum by himself. Mum tells me now that he spent this time playing with the kids across the road. Even at this early age Tim was making friends. I seem to recall also that Tim managed to get a 1/2 day of pre-school (a first in the family). I always felt that this small period with other new kids gave Tim a nice head start when he commenced his schooling at South Tamworth Primary. He was well adjusted for the rigours of school, made friends easily (he was always going to birthday parties) and was a natural at anything he put his mind to.

He started in the top class in Kindy and there he stayed each year through his primary school days (and subsequent educational endeavours). Tim was a also a natural athlete and started playing rugby league at he age of eight, moving quickly onto soccer and then finally hockey (all in one year .. maybe this was a sign of things to come). He played representative hockey for Tamworth at the state champships every June Long Weekend. I even recall him playing under 12 hockey at Lismore when he was only 9. He was a prodigy even then. He also represented the North Western NSW primary school team in Murwullumbah where his team came back as state champions. Another little publicised sporting achievement was middle distance running and I remember him running a low 2 minute 800 meters at the Tamworth Primary Schools Athletic Carnival. A record that was not broken for many years.

The year Tim finished his primary school saw the Eldridge family move from Tamworth to Wagga for Dad's work. This was a tough time for everyone but we all adapted to new environs and our new high school in Wagga called Kooringal High. It was a new school and much smaller than the high school Lynn and I left in Tamworth. Probably 1/4 the size in students and was so new that it did not even have a sixth form in our first year there. Tim as always fitted in very quickily and he found new friends almost instantly. Many of whom are here today.

By the time Tim reached Wagga he had found the game of golf and before long he was swinging a set of clubs out at the Wagga Country Club, across the lake from where we lived. Here he spent many hours fine tuning his tee shots, fairway shots, chips and putts (or spits as his young nephew would subsequently refer, many years later). Golf was to become a life long passion and this was something which always stayed with him. It was only his 94 year old grandfather who thought something was wrong four weeks ago when he percieved Tim had lost interest in his Golf.

Tim breezed through high school and obtained excellent grades with little effort. In his final year he was nominated as perfect (whooops I meant "a prefect") and was voted school vice captain by his peers. For his HSC he studied a couple of hours each night on the floor in front of the TV. To recover from this strenous study regime, he would spend the next day playing 36 holes of golf.

With his HSC behind him Tim entered the University of Sydney and worked his way towards a Civil Engineering degree over a four year period. The first two years of his course, Tim lived at Wesley College, a residential college on the grounds of Sydney University. Here, Tim, along with some of high school buddies quickily adapted to the demanding University life style. Days at the beach, missing lectures, drinking beer, etc. He found new friends quickily and again many are here today. The nucleaus of this group were quickily dubbed the "DAMAGE BOYS" because of the drinking reputation at College Victory Dinners, formals and other ramdon gatherings.

Mid way through his second year, Tim's father Thomas passed away suddenly at the early age of 47 after a sunday afternoon hockey match. It was my job to tell Tim the news that Sunday night. I now remember his numb response to my news. "Where has he gone?" he asked. His fathers death at such a young age for all of us was a defining moment in Tim's life (probably the most defining moment up until last Saturday). It was a difficult time for Tim and the Family. Initially he seemed to cope well, but the next year saw Tim arrive home to Wagga unannounced many times during the university terms. I guess the one lesson (or theory actually I would call it a LAW) Tim would give us today from all this would be to grieve properly, seek support from Family, Friends and professionals and to address the difficult issues these tramatic events have on the fragile human soul.

Anyway, back to Uni, Tim bravely persisted and graduated with honours at the end of 1985. His brief but eventful civil engineering career started with a small but prestigous Civil Engineering Consultating companycalled Wargon, Chapman and Partners. Mr Wargon, a famous Amercican civil engineer appeared to take Tim under his wing and Tim quickily found himself designing car parks, and tall buildings. As well as doing one-off type jobs such as a structural integrity report of the Channel 9 Transmitter Antenna at the Channel 9 Compound, and preliminary designs for the now Sydney Harbour Tunnel.

Tim quickily realised that Civil Engineering was not for him (however a recent rush of activity with home decks shows there was some latent interest in at least some things civil). On the fifth redesign for an Alan Bond tower on the old Waltons site across from the Sydney Town Hall, Tim decided to move on. This gave him the chance to travel for 3 months overseas which took him to many places in Europe, England, particularly London and even India (if I recall correctly).

London was a place to which Tim would return frequently over the rest of his life, the last being July/August last year. The drawcards to London were friends and another life passion I have not yet mentioned, English Football. His favourite team during his schools days was Queens Park Rangers. Though his interested waned when their goalie Phil Parkes defected to my team West Ham in 1977 for a then world record sum of 565,000 pounds. Subsequent years and more recently Tim has been an Arsenal supporter.

On his return in the late 80's Tim persued his ambition for a new career. In this pursuit he found himself in Canberra studying part-time for a degree in Information Systems at the then Canberra College of Advanced Education and working part-time for small scientific software consulting firms. One system I remember was a flight simiulator program driven by data from aircraft black-box recorders.

On graduation from the CCAE Tim started work at Customs and then Department of Veterans Affairs for a record three years. Towards the end of this stint in DVA, Tim bought his house in Griffith, just up from Marnucka. He lived in the house briefly before deciding that a six month stint in Los Angles working on a Telon Related Inventory system was the go. On his return he decided to work in Sydney and here he had stints at NRMA and Westpac. Weekends saw Tim travelling back to his home in Canberra to catch up with friends and to play golf amongst other things. This became too tiring and before long he was back in Canberra fulltime working at the Australian Tax Office and subsequently Customs. His crowning software achievement was an ATO case-actioning tool which I believed was to be a distillation of systems and processes from the many places he had worked.

More recently, Tim returned to DVA where he ventured into web-based systems using packages such as Websphere and Tomcat.

Wherever Tim worked, he took the roles on seriously. He appeared to very much love a process and a set of rules to capture and implement. He believed rules were meant not to be broken (contrary to the majority of the population) and I always thought that he was perfect fit for the ATO. [He had a great sense of what was right and doing it right].

Another constant in Tim's life were his friends and I will always remember his 40th birthday speech where he said the party was not to celebrate his 40th, but more importantly, a chance for his family and friends to get together.

There is so much more to be said. We all have our memories of Tim and I ask you for just one moment to reflect on the good times you had with him ... and to take this forward with you through the tough times ahead.

It is now time to say goodbye to a loving son, brother, grandson, nephew, uncle, friend and colleague. We now know that Tim struggled with a delibertating and destructive illness which he held undercover for many years. I ask you to take the time to consider the strength he showed under this enormous pressure and to admire him for how he lived a relatively normal and happy life, shared with friends and family.

In the end Tim ran out "Puff" as he said and found peace from his illness the only way he knew how. Please forgive him. He asked for this.

Tim, you asked me where Dad had gone. We know that you searched for him high and low. We also now know that you have found him. The search and struggle is complete and that you have found your peace.

You will always have a special place in our hearts and memories. We will miss you.

Love .. Mum, Lynn and Geoff ..

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Proud - Heather Small - London 2012 (YouTube)

Proud (*) - Heather Small (*) - London 2012 [Youtube (*)]

Proud Lyrics
I look into the window of my mind
Reflections of the fears I know I've left behind
I step out of the ordinary
I can feel my soul ascending
I'm on my way
Can't stop me now
And you can do the same (yeah)

What have you done today to make you feel proud?
It's never too late to try
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
You could be so many people
If you make that break for freedom
What have you done today to make you feel proud?

Still so many answers I don't know (there are so many answers)
Realize that to question is how we grow (to question is to grow)
So I step out of the ordinary
I can feel my soul ascending
I'm on my way
Can't stop me now
You can do the same (yeah)

What have you done today to make you feel proud?
It's never too late to try
What have you done today to make you feel proud?
You could be so many people
If you make that break for freedom
What have you done today to make you feel proud?

(yeah) We need a change (Yeah)
Do it today (yeah)
I can feel my spirit rising
(change, yeah) We need a change (yeah)
So do it today (yeah)
'Cause I can see a clear horizon

What have you done today to make you feel proud? (to make you feel proud)
(let me hear ya X3)So what have you done today to make you feel proud?
(yeah)'Cause you could be so many people
Just make that break for freedom
So what have you done today to make you feel proud?
Was the Official Theme Song for the successful London 2012 Olympic Bid back in 2005.

Sunday, May 6, 2012

Need Your Love - Temper Trap / Studio Session / YouTube

Need Your Love (*) - Temper Trap (*) (Fri 27 Apr 2012)

Heard this recently a couple of times on the car radio traveling to training sessions. Been a while since I have heard something new that I have liked. The start creates a sense of anticipation and the song has an urgency about it. A couple of the lyrics that appealed (and I used to search for the song online) are bolded. Picked this video as I appreciate watching musicians performing.

Need Your Love Lyrics

The road is pulling me into her open where
And for a moment I escape and I forget
The silhouettes behind the dust clouds call me friend
But even fools know here they’re far a few between
She has abandoned me on highways and desert plates
Of lonely creatures singing for the summer rain
And at the end of all your knees fall down to me
Yeah it’s something in you always ask for someone real

Oh I need your love, I need your love,
I need you now, I need you
Oh I need your love, I need your love,
I need you now, I need you

She is my salvation in the dark
But at night with lips of honey calls the devil’s heart
And I am a war of flesh and heart that’s left undone
Between the person that I was and have become

Oh I need your love, I need your love,
I need you now, I need you
Oh I need your love, I need your love,
I need you now, I need you
I need your love

Oh I need your love, I need your love,
I need you now, I need you
Oh I need your love, I need your love,
I need you now, I need you

There’s no resting in my heart
There’s no resting in my heart
There’s no resting now
[x2]



Thursday, December 8, 2011

What I think about when I think by the side of the River Charles - Boston (Mon 22 Aug 2011)

Jogging Path (1 of 5) - Charles River / Boston (Mon 22 Aug 2011)

Jogging Path (2 of 5) - Charles River / Boston (Mon 22 Aug 2011)


Jogging Path (3 of 5) - Charles River / Boston (Mon 22 Aug 2011)

Jogging Path (4 of 5) - Charles River / Boston (Mon 22 Aug 2011)

On a whim, I recently bought myself a copy of Haruki Murakami's (*) book, What I Talk About When I Talk About Running (*). As I read it, I was quite taken by the following passage ..
It's been 10 years since I lived in Cambridge [Boston]. When I saw the Charles River again, a desire to run swept over me. Generally, unless some change takes place, rivers always look the same, and the Charles River in particular looked totally unchanged. Time had passed, students had come and gone, I'd aged ten years, and there'd literally been a lot of water under the bridge. But the river has remained unaltered. The water still flows swiftly, and silently, toward Boston Harbour. The water soaks the shoreline, making the grasses grow thick [..]

Maybe because it's the home of the Boston Marathon, Cambridge is full of runners. The jogging path along the Charles goes on forever, and if you wanted to you could run for hours. The problem is, it's used by cyclists, so you have to watch out for speeding bikes whizzing past from behind. At various places, too, there are cracks in the pavement you have to make sure you don't trip over, and a couple of long traffic signals you can get stuck at, which can put a kink in your run. Otherwise, it's a wonderful jogging run.
I sat beside the River Charles. It was late afternoon on the last day of our 4 days in Boston. We had arrived on the Friday from a week in New York. Here are a few photos from my time sitting by the River Charles.

We had already been away for a day short of 4 weeks and it would be another 3 weeks before arriving back home. I was enjoying the trip but was thinking a lot about all the changes that had been occurring in my life - I was without a car and I had moved back to Kirrawee while I waited for my house, I had never really planned or contemplated to live in, to become available while I was away. Tried not to think about these things too much from a far, as I had no control over them. Instead, I just sat myself down on a seat bench by the River Charles and tried to think of other things.

I sat there in the beautiful afternoon sun, I thought of many things. I thought of all the other times I had been to Boston, what took me there and what I did while I was there. I also tried to remember who I was and what I was doing in my life around the time of each trip.

September and October 1988 was the first trip, and it would be just under a year before I would meet Jenny for the first time.

I reflected on the two years since Jenny had left us and all the things that happened since that time. In some ways, it was just sitting there by the River Charles, that I finally stopped and had a chance to clear my thoughts and to really think about things.

I had really kept myself busy and distracted since Jenny's passing (*) - it was one way of coping with the enormity of Jenny's loss. In some ways, I was starting to forget things - who I was, the things that we had done and what I thought I was going to do with my life.

As I sat there by the River Charles, I watched the walkers, runners and bicycle riders go past. Their long shadows, created by the late afternoon sun, are what struck me and this is what kept me interested as I captured these photos. I wondered who these people were, what had brought them to Boston and whether one of them was the future creator of the next social media craze.

A couple of rowers set off from near where I sat and I wondered if they were the Winklevii (*) of Facebook fame (*).

MIT / TIM - Charles River / Back Bay / Boston (Mon 22 Aug 2011)

As I sat there I could see tiny sail boats, standup paddle boards and wind surfers. One wind surfer was fairly inexperienced and a more experienced wind surfer went to his aid, if only to provide advice and moral support, in the knowledge of just being there.

The small sailing boats were from MIT, which is just across the River, and it was only when I saw through the transparent sails, that I realised that in reverse, MIT, spells TIM, my late Brother's name - so I thought about him for a little while. He had been to Boston a few times also, so I thought about all the same things for Tim. Maybe he had sat here and pondered some of the same things, 25 years earlier? I also wondered why I had never made the MIT to TIM connection. Or thinking about it now, I think I may have thought about it a long time ago, but maybe I had forgotten remembering the connection.

Have been to Boston four times prior to this trip and I have visited it on each of my trips to the USA. The last time was just over 17 years earlier in April 1994, where I had hoped I might be able to run the Boston Marathon (*).

Now as I sit here and think about the things I thought about by the River Charles in Boston that late afternoon on Mon 22 Aug 2011, I can now see where Haruki Murakami's (*) ran along the side of the same river on the very path he captured in words above and I have captured in the photos on this page. I also now have an appreciation and can imagine where he found part of the inspiration to write What I Talk About When I Talk About Running (*), which I am now reading and enjoying.

That will do for now. Just leave it here.

Jogging Path (5 of 5) - Charles River / Boston (Mon 22 Aug 2011)

A bit of ramble to mark my 700th Post here.

Friday, June 3, 2011

Caught in the Eye of the Storm - Kaizer Austin (Thu 02 Jun 2011)

Kaizer and the Austin Express (Sun 26 Sep 2009)

Captain's log star date Thursday 2nd June, 2011.

Today I started work this morning at 05:00 hrs so I could finish at 13:00 hrs, which would give me the opportunity to go for a paddle and an extra session on N'been lake, as part of my weekly training goals.

I hit the water at 14:00 hrs after a five minute warm up I strapped on the bungy cord around the hull, plugged into my music ear pieces listening to Classic Rock FM 95.3, and off I went at a steady 50 strokes per minute with 80% effort.

My starting point was just outside the Pro Kayaks shop, I headed out under the bridge to the top most pin at the northern tip of the lake, turned the pin and headed back with a slight head wind and the music pumping through my veins, working the legs and nailing the catch inhaling on the return & exhaling deep with every power phase aaahhhh...... beats work anytime, perfect way to spend an afternoon ..... back to my start position in 21'43" first lap. Six minutes of rest and recovery level one paddle, drink.

Removed the bungy cord, set the stop watch ........ off we go at a steady 60 spm.

Under the bridge, straight up the lake, grinding on, turn the pin and........ holey smoke where did those clouds come from ? The sky behind me had turned an ugly black, guess it must be only 14:40hrs, next thing..... the heavens open. For about what would have only been six minutes the rain came down, torrential, like needles stinging my body, it was so intense my vision was blurred . Battling on - the stroke rate starts to creep up and panic sets in ...... but i'm not going anywhere , the rains hitting my craft and the water's boiling with the spray, the wind churns up ...... holding my nerve I drop the rate, put the hammer down, but wait ...... what's that just emerging from the blackness up above and to the left? Why - its a Rainbow.... and within a few seconds, literally, the rains gone . A glint of sun to my right, and I can see Jenny smiling down ...... back to the finish line in 24' flat, 24....?!! But that's slower than the first lap ..... and I can hear her laugh......

Warm down, de rig, load up, laugh to myself, life...... don't you love it!!


Jenny - Byron Bay (Oct 2007)



Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Do You See What I See? - Hunters & Collectors (1988) (youtube)

Do You See What I See? - Hunters & Collectors (1988) (youtube)

The song ends with the lyrics:

Do you remember?
I said do you remember?...


Yes, I remember now. I saw Hunters & Collectors play this song at a Concert in Boston in October 1988. They were the support act for Midnight Oil. I had forgotten about this when I put together yesterdays post (The Forgotten Years). I kept thinking last night, that I had seen Midnight Oil somewhere else. This song made me remember, as I distinctly remember it being performed at the Concert in Boston. Funny how you can remember some things in the end.

Mark Seymour, the bands lead singer, is also a bit of a runner and he ran the same Melbourne Marathon I ran in 1994. He played some songs to a crowd at the finish line after his run. I remember being very impressed with him and his fitness, as I hobbled back to the Hotel Crossley for an afternoon nap.

Found a live version here and the Lyrics follow ..

Do you see what I see Lyrics

I spy your humble home
I see the tea towels fly
In a blinding flash
I see the years go by
Memories twisted around
Somebody's finger
Behind me now
Oh but I still remember

Do you see what I see?
Do you see what I see?
Do you see what I see?
Do you see what I see?

We go north to the ocean
We drove so far
But last years light is shining hotter than the sun
Looking for someone
In a suburb that I know
But I wasn't round for long
I had somewhere else to go

Do you see what I see?
Do you see what I see?
Do you see what I see?
Do you see what I see?

I see the safest place around
In that city down below
My hands are empty now
And I waving as I go

You were gone for a little while
It was a fine fine line
Between first and second thoughts
We left them all behind
Now we barely faulter
Now the long drive has begun
North to the ocean
Hotter, hotter than the sun

Do you see what I see?
Do you see what I see?
Do you see what I see?

Do you remember?
I said do you remember?...

Saturday, February 5, 2011

"In these small hours" (Little Wonders by Rob Thomas)

The music video for Little Wonders by Rob Thomas with Meet The Robinsons (youtube)

Today I heard this song for the first time in at least 2 years. The above is a video and the lyrics are below.

It is swelting in Sydney as I write this, at the end of hot summers day and I am covered in sweat. Spent this lovely Saturday afternoon on Sydney Harbour paddling in an OC6 from Glebe to Middle Harbour and back. Very windy, very hot and tough conditions. Still a great session and it makes you realise how lucky we are to have this beautiful city, it's harbour, the experiences we make for ourselves and the friendships we have with each other.

Pacific Dragons OC6 Mixed Crew - Paul, Jenny, Geoff, Marie, Liz, and Leslie - Ettalong / Central Coast - Jan 2007 (picasa)

Anwyay, on the way back to Alexandria from the session, in Wilson Street / Newtown [Note: 1], I had my radio on and heard this song.

Instantly, I became quite emotional (actually started crying uncontrollably - yes I'll admit it) and had to pull over. It was the song I had been trying to find for the last 19 months, since Jenny left us. I did not know it's title or any of the lyrics. All I knew was the tune. As a result, this made it difficult to track down. Apart from the tune, I also felt it was a Matchbox Twenty song.

Jenny had talked about it on it's release, when someone in her Cancer Support Group played the song at one the weekly Tuesday meetings. It seemed to mean a lot to Jenny and all her colleagues at the Group. 

I had tried to find the song many times since Jenny's passing, and I now know I was looking in the wrong place, as it is Rob Thomas song, not a Matchbox Twenty song (I had even bought a few Matchbox Twenty CD's to try and find the song, obviously to no avail).

While listening to the song in the car this afternoon, all I tried to do was remember (my memory is not that flash) a line from the chorus so that I could search for it as soon as I got back to Alexandria. The line I remembered was: 

In these small hours

A quick search found the above video and I then realised the song was from a Disney Animation Movie Meet The Robinsons, which I know little about (I am sure it is very good - actually have half a feeling that Jenny and Jo may have sneaked it in one Tuesday afternoon at the Movies. Will check with Jo). So I have no idea of the meaning of the song in the context of the Movie. Though with every song I think we are allowed to bring our own experiences and interpretations to it, even if we mishear the lyrics (I am reassured that this is OK :-). 

Over the years, when Jenny was with us, I would often force myself to stay awake at night, so that I could hear her breathing (we were both good sleepers and it was often a race to see who would nod off first). The sound of her breath, and the silhouette of the rise and fall of the sheets covering her chest, gave me some reassurance. I could not comprehend that one day the cancer might extingusish the breath of this amazing person (where do I start to explain) and take this beautiful woman from us.

Jenny Asleep - Barbara's - Balmoral/Brisbane - Fri 19 Dec 2003

So when I hear the line:

In these small hours 

I think of those nights and the small hours where I would lay awake watching and listening to her breath - I would often tell Jenny that it was like music to my ears.

Anyway, I will leave it that. I will buy the CD and put the song on my iPhone. I need to listen to it some more and try to make the connection to the song that Jenny and her friends at the Sutherland Shire Cancer Support Group made to it. I suspect for me it might mean something completely different to Jenny as I can already see some things that I have felt since Jenny left us.

A bit of ramble but it is nice to capture these fragments of my memory here.

Needless to say, very excited to have found this song

Maybe the The hardest part is over

I know in writing this: These small hours - Still remain

As we said to each other every night (and I still do) as we lay in bed before nodding off to sleep:

Good Night, Sweet Dreams, God Bless, Love You.

With love and fond memories .. Geoff

[Note 1]: I love Wilson Street ( Newtown) - so many little things have happened there recently and over the years (at least in my own mind). Maybe these are some of These little wonders the song refers. I know these little things have helped me a lot over the last 19 months as I move through the grieving process [see Quote: Half a Life - NYT Book Review (12 Sep 2010) (17 Oct 2010) - in some ways that post was a real turning point for me when I look back at it now].

Little Wonders 
Rob Thomas

Let it go
Let it roll right off your shoulder
Don't you know
The hardest part is over
Let it in
Let your clarity define you 
In the end
We will only just remember how it feels

Our lives are made
In these small hours 
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate 
Time falls away,
But these small hours
These small hours 
Still remain

Let it slide
Let your troubles fall behind you
Let it shine,
Till you feel it all around you
And I don't mind 
If it's me you need to turn to 
We'll get by
It's the heart that really matters in the end

Our lives are made
In these small hours 
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate 
Time falls away
But these small hours
These small hours
Still remain

All of my regret
Will wash away somehow
But I cannot forget
the way I feel right now

In these small hours
These little wonders 
These twists and turns of fate
Yeah, these twisted turns of fate
Time falls away
Yeah, but these small hours, 
These small hours
Still remain

Yeah, oh they still remain
These little wonders
All these twists and turns of fate
Time falls away 
But these small hours 
These little wonders
Still remain

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Cronulla Legacy Meeting (Mon 16 Mar 2009)

I recently found a copy of the following speech that Jenny had drafted just after being told she had multiple tumors across her liver. Shortly after sending it to me, Jenny was told that the Meeting had been postponed and the speech would be rescheduled to a later date. Sadly, Jenny did not have the opportunity to present the speech as she passed away on the Tue 30 Jun 2009. She was looking forward to giving the speech, as Jenny and Joanne's Mother, Margaret, had been a member of the neighbouring Miranda Legacy Group.

After finding the email with the Speech, I read the speech again and I was pleased to reread the sections on the National Breast Cancer Foundation (NBCF) towards the end of the speech (here). Jo and I have been working with the NBCF over the last few months to help with their XMAS Fund Raising Campaign (here) which will help fund the work of Professor Matt Trau's Research Team's work into the early detection of the spread of secondary cancer.

It is nice to be reminded that Jenny was aware of his team's work and we know she would have fully supported being involved in the fund raising campaign (Jenny's Story). I have annotated the speech with photos from Jenny's Power Point Presentation.

Geoff - 23 Nov 2010


Cronulla Legacy Meeting
Monday 16th March, 2009
Jenny Petterson



"Cancer is something that people do not expect to happen to them and no matter who is diagnosed, and at whatever time in their life, it is a shock"
Jenny Petterson - Rainbow / Byron Bay - Oct 2007 (picasa)

Thank you everyone for having me. The National Breast Cancer Foundation has raised an enormous amount of funds for use into breast cancer research and I will detail the three biggest projects later in my speech.

Cancer is something that people do not expect to happen to them and no matter who is diagnosed, and at whatever time in their life, it is a shock which has huge ramifications for not only the person involved but also their family and friends. It takes a lot of adjustment to get used to.

Family Photo #1 - Camilla Gardens / Caringbah - Jan 1991 (picasa)

Family Photo #2 - Japenese Restaurant / Neutral Bay - Apr 2003 (picasa)

Family Photo #3 - Thomas' Birthday - Bronte - Jun 2003 (picasa)

We have been involved with Dragons Abreast Australia for about 8 years now. I will talk about how I came to be involved with Dragons Abreast later but firstly I will begin with my personal story with breast cancer.

Jo and Jenny - Dragons Abreast Sydney - Blackwattle Bay / Sydney - 2004 (picasa)

Dragons Abreast Sydney - Blackwattle Bay / Glebe - May 2004 (picasa)

Dragons Abreast Sydney - Darling Harbour / Sydney - Feb 2006 (picasa)

My first association with breast cancer was when I was seventeen years old and studying for my HSC. My Aunty who had just turned fifty at the time she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Back then I had no understanding of the terms primary cancer or secondary cancer and the significance of the difference between these terms. Sadly my aunty passed away three years after her initial diagnosis.

"My Aunty who had just turned fifty at the time she was diagnosed with breast cancer."
Aunty Elsie, Jenny, Joanne - Cronulla (picasa)

Seventeen years after my aunty’s diagnosis, I was told at age thirty four that I too had breast cancer. This was a complete bolt out of the blue as I had always been extremely healthy and played a lot of sport.

Jenny and Joanne - 100m Hurdles - Sylvania Waters - 197? (picasa)

Little Athletics - Pagewood (picasa)

Little Athletics - Pagewood (picasa)

I initially had a lumpectomy but the pathology indicated that all the cancer had not been removed, so the following week I underwent a mastectomy and removal of all lymph nodes under my arm. I had a reconstruction at the same time. My prognosis was excellent. There was no lymph node involvement and I needed no further treatment. I went back to work and my life just carried on normally.

Jenny - Post Surgery - Hurstville Community Hospital - Apr 1997 (picasa)

Margaret and Jenny - Post Surgery - Hurstville Community Hospital - Apr 1997 (picasa)

That was until nine months after my initial diagnosis when my mother was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Her situation was extremely serious requiring chemotherapy to reduce the size of the tumour before surgery. The next sixteen months were a real roller coaster ride for my mother with chemotherapy followed by more surgery and then more chemotherapy.

Jenny, Margaret and Joanne - 1998 (picasa)

Joanne, Margaret and Jenny - Port Macquarie - May 1998 (picasa)

It was during this time that my mother, my twin sister Jo and I took up meditation as a way of helping ourselves in addition to what the medical community were offering us. The three of us all had very positive attitudes but the meditation also seemed to give us peace of mind. Our father had passed away six years earlier. Our meditation teacher was amazing and helped us through many difficult periods that followed. We had the opportunity to meditate in the centre of Australia at Uluru which was a very empowering experience.

Margaret, Jenny, Ian Gawler and Joanne - Ian Gawler Foundation / Victoria - Jan 1999 (picasa)

Jenny, Joanne, Margaret and Norm - Parliament House / Canberra - 1988 (picasa)

Joanne, Barbara and Jenny - Uluru - Dec 1999 (picasa)

Due to our strong family history of hormone related cancers we were referred to the Prince of Wales Hereditary Clinic for genetic testing. I also have an uncle with prostate cancer and a cousin with breast cancer. While initially there was no conclusive evidence of the common breast cancer gene some variances are currently being investigated and Jo undergoes regular checkups every six months as we are identical twins.

Joanne and Jenny - Pompidou Centre / Paris - 26 Aug 2005 (picasa)

Jenny and Joanne - Darling Harbour / Sydney - Feb 2004 (picasa)

Family Photo - Kirrawee / Sydney - Aug 2006 (picasa)

During that same period I received the news that I had a local recurrence within the scar tissue. This was removed and I then began a six week course of radiotherapy and six month course of chemotherapy. My mother and I were undergoing chemotherapy at the same time.

Jenny, Margaret and Joanne - Port Macquarie - May 1998 (picasa)

Jenny, Margaret and Joanne - Miranda - 1998 (picasa)

Unfortunately as is so often the case with ovarian cancer, it is very advanced before it is diagnosed. My mother had a real battle on her hands but she put up a very strong, courageous fight. Jo and I had the honour of caring for her at home for eight weeks until sadly she was succumbed by the disease.

Margaret - Miranda - 1998 (picasa)

Four months after my chemotherapy was finished I was diagnosed with secondary cancer in my lungs. There were at least ten tumours across both my lungs and it was inoperable. The situation was extremely serious. My oncologist advised me to give up my job and do something that I really enjoyed. I didn’t go back to work but rather concentrated on getting better. That was nine years ago.

Jenny, Jodie, and Joanne - Darling Harbour / Sydney - Feb 2007 (picasa)

(picasa)

Dragons Abreast Sydney - Woronora - Dec 2004 (picasa)

Three months after my lung tumours were diagnosed I got engaged. Geoff and I were married ten weeks later. It looked like I may have needed more chemotherapy and I didn’t want to get married with no hair so we fast tracked the arrangements. As it turned out I didn’t have any chemotherapy at that stage. I started on hormone therapy which involved a daily tablet and monthly injections at the hospital.

Joanne, Tim, Geoff, Jenny, David and Jenny (picasa)

Sylvania Heights - 30 Mar 2000 (picasa)

Jenny and Geoff - Sylvania Heights - 30 Mar 2000 (picasa)

It was at one of those monthly visits to the hospital that I noticed an advertisement for Dragons Abreast Australia. This was a group of breast cancer survivors and supporters who paddled a dragon boat for fun, fitness and to raise awareness of breast cancer. It sounded like the perfect sport for Jo and I. We joined our local club Port Hacking, because at that time there was not a branch of Dragons Abreast in Sydney. It was fantastic. To get out on the water in the early morning when it is so still and quiet and to paddle was exhilarating.
Dragons Abreast Sydney - Darling Harbour / Sydney - Feb 2006 (picasa)

Dragons Abreast Sydney - Woronora - Dec 2004 (picasa)

From this time on our lives changed. We would go to regattas and paddle with the Dragons Abreast ladies from all over Australia. It wasn’t about competition but rather about having fun and making new friends with other ladies who had walked a similar path and really understood what you had been through.

Dragons Abreast Australia - Darling Harbour / Sydney - 2006 (picasa)

CT scans showed that the tumours in my lungs had reduced to one solitary tumour. Then, at the beginning of 2003 one of my regular CT scans showed that this tumour was increasing in size and there were another two tumours. The advice was to wait for three months and see what happened as they were slow growing. The next CT scan was to reveal something totally unexpected – a large tumour in my abdomen as well as a growth in the size of the lung tumours. I commenced a course of chemotherapy under a clinical trial.

Chemo - Joanne and Jenny - St George Cancer Center - Jul 2003 (picasa)

Jenny - Blackwattle Bay / Glebe - Jun 2003 (picasa)

Jenny - St George - Jul 2003 (picasa)

Jenny - St George Hospital - Aug 2003 (picasa)

As I was a survivor I was eligible to paddle in the Dragons Abreast Challenge at the coming World Championships in Shanghai in 2003. We started to think how could Jo get to compete at this event. Firstly, we thought she could learn to sweep. However, while we were coming into the off-season here, there would be no regattas where she could gain the appropriate experience to sweep overseas. Then, we were lucky enough to hear how NSW were trying to set up a selective team to compete at the Nationals in Adelaide. It was a long shot but we thought that it was worth a try. There was a chance that if Jo qualified in the NSW team and they were successful at the Nationals, then they would become the team to represent Australia and that way we would both get to paddle in Shanghai.

Joanne after practicising Single Dragon Boat Water Trial ('That's Gizzie in Seat 1') - Port Hacking / Sydney - Jul 2003 (picasa)

Well Jo made it into the first selective NSW team. They won at the Nationals and training began for the Shanghai campaign. But things didn’t work out as planned. China was faced with the SARS crisis. The World Championships were cancelled in Shanghai and moved to Poznan in Poland. The Australian team were well into their training and decided to compete in Poland. The Dragons Abreast team decided not to go to Poland and in the meantime I had been quite sick and was unable to travel.

2003 Australian Dragon Boat Team - Poznan Bound - Sydney International Airport (Aug 2003) (picasa)


In the lead up to Poland I would go out to Penrith every month and video the team. The footage was used by the coaches to analyse the paddling technique of the team. Just seeing all these fit people inspired me to get over my chemotherapy and get back in the dragon boat.

Jenny with the Video Camera - Sydney International Airport - Australian Team Departure - Aug 2003 (picasa)

The next year in 2004, I decided I would train really hard and try out for a spot on the NSW team. I felt I had nothing to lose and didn’t want to have any regrets and think down the track “I wonder whether I would have made it or not?” Well I made it into the NSW team and competed at the National Championships. Following a win there Jo and I represented Australia at the World Championships in Shanghai. We had finally made our dream of competing in Shanghai. This time we were both competing for Australia. Jo won a bronze medal in the Australian Premier Mixed Team.

Australian Masters Women's Dragon Boat Team - Shanghai - Oct 2004 (picasa)

Australian Masters Women's Dragon Boat Team - Shanghai - Oct 2004 (picasa)

Australian Premier Mixed Dragon Boat Team - Shanghai - Oct 2004 (picasa)

Joanne - Australian Premier Mixed Dragon Boat Team - Shanghai - Oct 2004 (picasa)

Australian Premier Mixed Dragon Boat Team - Shanghai - Oct 2004 (picasa)

Joanne - Australian Premier Mixed Dragon Boat Team - Shanghai - Oct 2004 (picasa)

The following year Geoff, Jo and I competed at the World Championships in Berlin. Jo and I competed together in the Australian Premier Women’s Team and Jo was also the coach for the NSW and Australian Masters Women’s Team.

Australian Masters Mixed Dragon Boat 500m Team - 2005 IDBF World Dragon Boat Championships - Berlin - Fri 05 Aug 2005

I am monitored on a regular basis and the CT scan I had at the beginning of 2006 showed that the remaining tumour in my lung had grown and there was another tumour there. I underwent some more chemotherapy and a four week course of radiotherapy on my lung.

I kept up my training with both of my oncologist’s encouragement and was part of the NSW team in 2006. Jo and I were joint coaches for the NSW Masters Women Team and we competed at the National Championships in Nagambie, which is a small town in country Victoria. NSW went very well and won the right to represent Australia at the Asian Dragon Boat Championships in Macau in September of that year.

Jenny and Joanne - NSW Masters Women's Coaches - Nagambie / Victoria - Apr 2006 (picasa)

I had the honour of carrying the Australian flag at the opening ceremony.

Jenny - Australian Dragon Boat Team - Opening Ceremony - Asian Dragon Boat Championships - Macau / China - Sep 2006 (picasa)

Jenny - Australian Dragon Boat Team - Opening Ceremony - Asian Dragon Boat Championships - Macau / China - Sep 2006 (picasa)

The Australian team went really well and finished third overall behind China and Macau. The women’s team of which I was a member of won a bronze medal in the 500m. It was such an emotional time when we all came off the boat after the race and it was confirmed that we had come third. The day before we had been beaten by a fraction of a second by Chinese Tapei into fourth place and we all wanted to win a medal so much. It was such an amazing experience standing on the podium wearing the green and gold Australian tracksuit watching the Australian flag being hoisted up the flagpole next to the Chinese and Macau flags.

Bronze Medalists - Australian Women's Dragon Boat Team - Macau - Sep 2006 (picasa)

Bronze Medalists - Australian Women's Dragon Boat Team - Macau - Sep 2006 (picasa)

Sylvia and Jenny - Macau - Sep 2006 (picasa)

Less than two months before we were due to head off to Macau my implant had ruptured. I was very fortunate to have it replaced quickly to allow me to get over the surgery and back to training before we left for Macau.

Joanne, Jenny and Geoff - St George Private Hospital - Aug 2006 (picasa)

On our return from Macau a routine CT scan showed that I had an accumulation of fluid around my lung. I had it drained so I was able to take part in the Hawkesbury Canoe Classic. This is an 111 kilometre race from Windsor to Brooklyn along the Hawkesbury River. All types of craft including kayaks, canoes, outrigger canoes and surf skis take part in the race. It was a fantastic experience. I was a member of a six person team who paddled an outrigger canoe. Geoff and Jo were also in the team. We set off at 6pm and paddled through the night arriving 13 hours later. It was such a great experience under a sky filled with thousands of stars.

Joanne, Jenny and Geoff - Hawkesbury Canoe Classic 2006 - Windsor - Sat 28 Oct 2006 (picasa)

Pacific Dragons Crews and Supporters - Hawkesbury Canoe Classic 2006 - Windsor - Sat 28 Oct 2006 (picasa)

Jenny and Joanne - Hawkesbury Canoe Classic 2006 - Windsor - Sat 28 Oct 2006 (picasa)

Sunrise - Hawkesbury Canoe Classic 2006 - Hawkesbury River - Sun 29 Oct 2006 (picasa)

Sunrise - Hawkesbury Canoe Classic 2006 - Hawkesbury River - Sun 29 Oct 2006 (picasa)

Team Happy - Geoff, Jenny, Mandy, Jo, Nicci and Paul - Hawkesbury Canoe Classic 2006 - Brooklyn - Sun 29 Oct 2006 (picasa)

The fluid again filled up in my lung cavity so I had it drained before the time trials for the NSW team selection for the 2007 team to give me a better chance. I made it into the team along with Geoff and Jo.

The fluid began building up again so it was time to fix the problem permanently. In February I underwent an operation where my lung was glued to the lung cavity.

Jenny - Lung Operaton - St George Private Hospital - Feb 2007 (picasa)

Over Easter the National Dragon Boat Championships were held at Penrith. NSW earnt the right to represent Australia at the World Championships in a number of categories including the ones that Geoff, Jo and I were involved with. Competition was really close. For the first time ever the World Championships were held in Sydney.

NSW Masters Women's Team - Penrith / Sydney - Apr 2007 (picasa)
NSW Masters Women's Team - Penrith / Sydney - Apr 2007 (picasa)

NSW Masters Women's Team - Penrith / Sydney - Apr 2007 (picasa)

Then in April after we had the place to compete in Sydney a CT scan revealed I had a tumour in my liver. They were retrialling for the Sydney team on the Sunday and what I was really concerned about was would I be okay to trial. I was okay and I did the best trial I have ever done and confirmed my position in the team.

I underwent a liver resection where they removed 20 percent of my liver. Three weeks later I needed to have my gall bladder removed because it had died as a result of the liver surgery. I was so lucky that my spot in the team was held open for me. My doctors were so helpful in getting me the treatment quickly and getting me back in the boat as soon as they could. I started another course of chemotherapy and had one cycle before the World Championships and the rest after.

"I underwent a liver resection where they removed 20 percent of my liver."
Jenny - Liver Resection - St George Private Hospital - Jun 2007 (picasa)

Jenny - Liver Resection - St George Private Hospital - Jun 2007 (picasa)

It was the most successful World Championships Australia has ever competed at. Jo and I won a silver and a bronze medal in the Masters Womens and Geoff won three silver medals in the Masters Men. Jo and Geoff also won bronze medals in the Masters Mixed.

Joanne and Jenny - World Dragon Boat Championships - Penrith - Sep 2007 (picasa)
Joanne, Geoff and Joanne - World Dragon Boat Championships - Penrith - Sep 2007 (picasa)

Australian Masters Dragon Boat Tema - World Dragon Boat Championships - Penrith - Sep 2007 (picasa)

The weekend after the World Championships was Dragons Abreast Australia regatta on the Sunshine Coast in Queensland. This was fantastic with over 1,600 breast cancer survivors from all over Australia, Canada, USA, New Zealand and Italy competing.

On returning from Queensland, bone scans then revealed the cancer had spread to my bones. At the beginning of 2008 I had two weeks of radiotherapy on my sacrum, head and lower right leg. I got over this quickly and got back in the boat for the Chinese New Year regatta.

International Dragons Abreast Festival - Kawana / Queensland (picasa)

Geoff, Jenny, Don McKenzie and Joanne - International Dragons Abreast Festival - Kawana / Queensland (picasa)

Joanne, Michelle and Jenny - International Dragons Abreast Festival - Kawana / Queensland (picasa)

We were then starting to train for the World Club Crew Championships in Penang this year. The World Club Crew Championships is different to the World Championships in that it is the best clubs that compete, in your club uniform, rather than a selective crew competing as the Australian team. My whole upper body just swelled up overnight. I didn’t know what was wrong and didn’t associate it with the cancer. As it turned out a lymph node in my chest was pushing on the main vessel to the heart and it had caused a clot to form. Lucky for me it didn’t completely block it off as this is where all the blood drains from the top half of the body. Another course of chemotherapy followed. The drugs caused my resting heart rate to be raised so I couldn’t train while having the chemotherapy. As soon as I was finished with the chemotherapy and had the relevant heart tests I was back in the boat to try and build up for Penang. This was a great regatta and we managed to place 4th which was very exciting. There were about thirty of the best club crews from around the world in each category.

Jenny and Joanne - Penang - Club Crew World Championships - Aug 2008 (picasa)

Pacific Dragons - Penang - Club Crew World Championships - Aug 2008 (picasa)

A scan showed that the tumour in my lung has started to grow so I had some more radiotherapy and bracchi therapy. This is where a wire is connected from your nose into your lung and radiotherapy is injected.

Last week a scan showed that the cancer has spread right through my liver. I start a new treatment on Thursday which involves chemotherapy and a new drug which stops blood systems being setup for new tumours.


We have been training hard for the Nationals this year. Last week it was confirmed the night I received the liver news, that I had made it into the A team. My doctor’s advice was that I could keep training while undergoing treatment.

Jenny and Joanne - NSW Outrigger Sprint Titles - Penrith (picasa)

Pacific Dragons - Outrigging Canoe Race Ettalong - Jan 2007 (picasa)

We train three sessions a week in a dragon boat, two sessions in an outrigger canoe, do three weight sessions at the gym and at least three cardio sessions. The great thing is that Geoff, Jo and I get to train together.

"The great thing is that Geoff, Jo and I get to train together."
Jenny, Geoff and Jo - Macau / China - Sep 2006 (picasa)

Pacific Dragons - Australian National Dragon Boat Championships - Apr 2007 (picasa)

A number of things have helped me through my cancer journey.
  • I have a fantastic team of doctors and medical professionals that do so much to help me. When something is worrying me I know they really listen and do something to help me immediately,

  • I look forward to any treatment offered to me as another step towards conquering this disease. Whenever I go for chemotherapy I never think "I wish this chemo course was over", I think "Great, here is another opportunity to get rid of the cancer".

  • Over the past few years I have had a number of hospital stays. I look at these as time that my body needs to have a rest. I find them very relaxing and as Geoff’s says when I am packing my bag to go to hospital That’s right, you’re off on holidays".

  • I have always said to all of my doctors "Don’t give me a prognosis". I believe the mind is very powerful and I don’t want it locking onto any sort of timeframe. My mother was of the same opinion and she didn’t want her doctors to put any time constraints on her life. I am not silly, I know my situation is serious as through my associations with cancer support groups I have seen others with a similar diagnosis to me not be so lucky. But everyone’s journey is different. Each time I see a new doctor I say up front Don’t give me a time.

Greg, Joanne, Jenny and Jodie - Darling Harbour - Feb 2005 (picasa)

Paul, Jenny and Joanne - St George Private Hospital - Jul 2004 (picasa)

Joanne, Dr Horton and Jenny - St George Private Hospital - Jan 2007 (picasa)

  • I am a member of the Sutherland Shire Cancer Support Group. It is made up of the most amazing bunch of people. The members have all been involved in either their own or a family member’s cancer journey so they understand where each other is coming from. There are lots of laughs in the group as well as sad times but everyone is always there for everyone else.

Geoff, Jenny and Doug - Sutherland Shire Cancer Support Group - Daffodil Day - Sylvania - Aug 2000 (picasa)

Sutherland Shire Cancer Support Group - Daffodil Day - Sylvania - Aug 2000 (picasa)

Sutherland Shire Cancer Support Group - Daffodil Day - Sylvania - Aug 2000 (picasa)

  • And finally, last but not least, is Dragons Abreast Australia. This organization has given me so much to live for. As you have heard, it inspires me on, whenever there is a bump in the road.

Sutherland Shire Cancer Support Group - Sutherland Relay for Life - May 2003 (picasa)

Sutherland Shire Cancer Support Group - Sutherland Relay for Life - May 2003 (picasa)

Sutherland Shire Cancer Support Group - Sutherland Relay for Life - May 2003 (picasa)

Sutherland Shire Cancer Support Group - Sutherland Relay for Life - May 2003 (picasa)

I became involved with the National Breast Cancer Foundation through Dragons Abreast Australia. They were setting up a Speakers Bureau and were looking for breast cancer survivors who may be interested in helping them out. I am not a person who would normally volunteer to do public speaking but I felt the work of the National Breast Cancer Foundation was so important that I would like to help out. The Speakers Bureau puts a human face on breast cancer and the research funded by the National Breast Cancer Foundation.

NBCF Pink Ribbon Magazine Launch - Darling Harbour - Oct 2004 (picasa)

The National Breast Cancer Foundation is a not-for-profit, community funded organization responsible for funding research into all aspects of breast cancer research. Research is from the laboratory, to the bedside, and beyond.

The National Breast Cancer Foundation was founded in 1994. Since this time there has been a rise in the survival rate despite the fact that more people are diagnosed. This is because treatment has improved through research. Detection has increased, public awareness has increased and research has increased. Long term investments have made improvements but there is still a big improvement to be made, and that is to find the cause and cure for breast cancer.

Joanne, Marie Bashir and Jenny - Sydney Breast Cancer Foundation - Pink Ribbon Lunch - 12 Oct 2004 (picasa)

The National Breast Cancer Foundation has recently announced three five million dollar projects. It is the first time in Australia that this level of funding has been committed to breast cancer research. For someone currently fighting breast cancer this was very exciting and inspiring.

The latest project is a collaboration between the Federal Government and the National Breast Cancer Foundation. They have each contributed 2.5 million dollars. It is a project with BreastScreen initially in Victoria, but then all over Australia where people 50 – 69 years will be asked questions on lifestyle, exercise levels and diet. The National Breast Cancer Foundation will start a similar survey with people of all ages. This will create a huge database and is the first situation around the world where researchers will have information before the breast cancer has been has been developed. Anyone down the track, who finds they have breast cancer will be asked to give tissue samples.

Geoff, Angela and Jenny - Sydney Breast Cancer Foundation - Pink Ribbon Lunch - 12 Oct 2004 (picasa)

The other two new long term projects involve almost 40 researcher from a range of sciences. They are collaborative projects and the experts say that large scale collaborative projects will greatly reduce the time to find the answers for breast cancer.

One of these projects involves creating a new detection technology that may be as easy as a blood test. Using nanotechnology and molecular genetics, this technology would have a major impact on early detection, and treatment of advanced breast cancer patients. Researchers from NSW and Queensland will be working on this project.

One of these projects involves creating a new detection technology that may be as easy as a blood test.
Professor Matt Trau - Brisbane / Uni of Qld (picasa)

The other project involves studying the body’s nuclear receptors to discover and fast-track information to help with prevention, new treatments and boosting existing treatments.

Jenny, Petria Thomas and Joanne - 2004 NSW Sports Awards - Feb 2005 (picasa)

Geoff, Jenny, John Eales and Joanne - Sydney - Sep 2006 (picasa)


Joanne, Jenny, Michelle and Caroline - Australian Story 10th Anniversary - ABC Studios / Ultimo / Sydney (picasa)


Jenny and Joanne - Australia's Biggest Loser - Dec 2007 (picasa)

Patricia, Janice, Bert, Jenny and Joanne - Family Fued - Aug 2006 (picasa)

[Geoff: Jenny would normally finish her speech with the following bolded dot points. I have added this section because I would have suggested that to her when finalising the speech (this was only the first draft). To me it was always the best bit of her speeches as it showed us how she chose to live her life. ]

In finishing if I can offer some suggestions which have helped me through the past twelve years:
  • keep a positive attitude,


  • live each day one at a time but do set goals for yourself,


  • surround yourself with positive, supportive people,


  • take time for yourself, and


  • do something with your life that you really enjoy.
I feel I am so lucky and have a wonderful life. I have had some great opportunities through breast cancer to meet some very inspiring people. Geoff and Jo have been a constant source of support for me. Breast cancer has totally changed my life but for the best.


Jenny, Geoff and Joanne - St George Private Hospital - 19 Aug 2006 (picasa)

Thank you .. Jenny

Jenny - Coffs Harbour - 25 Dec 2005 (picasa)


Jenny's Speech as pdf.

Jenny's Overhead Powerpoint Presentation as pdf.