Angels on the Moon by Thriving Ivory

Angels on the Moon by Thriving Ivory
A couple of quotes from various web sites and the lyrics follow:

From Angels on the Moon at wikipedia:

Songwriter and keyboardist Scott Jason told Songfacts that "Angels on the Moon" was also inspired by the U2 song "Where The Streets Have No Name".[2] The line, "Don't tell me if I'm dying, `cause I don't want to know" is a way of saying that life should be lived to the fullest, because a person's time on earth is unknown and if tomorrow never comes, there will be no regrets.

Another quote from a blog post at dosomething.org:

CelebsGoneGood: "Angels on the Moon" was inspired by the tragic events of September 11. Does it still get a strong reaction today?

Clayton Stroope: It's one of the first songs we wrote and recorded together. Although it can be monotonous to sing the same songs night after night, the reaction from the crowd gives it new energy. Because of the lyrics, the song takes on a different meaning for each individual person. Last night, a fan drove 4 hours to see our show. Her mother suffered from breast cancer and the song has a special meaning for her.

Angels on the Moon - Lyrics

Do you dream that the world will know your name,
So tell me your name (tell me your name)
And do you care, about all the little things,
Or anything at all (or anything at all),

I wanna feel all the chemicals inside,
I wanna feel (I wanna feel),
I wanna sunburn just to know that I'm alive,
To know I'm alive (to know if I'm alive),

Don't tell me if I'm dying,
Cause I don't wanna know,
If I can't see the sun,
Maybe I should go,
Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming,
Of angels on the moon,
Where everyone you know,
Never leaves too soon

Do you believe in the day that you were born,
Tell me do you believe, (do you believe)
And do you know that every day's the first of the rest of your life,

Don't tell me if I'm dying,
Cause I don't wanna know,
If I can't see the sun,
Maybe I should go,
Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming,
Of angels on the moon,
Where everyone you know,
Never leaves too soon,

This is to one last day in the shadows,
And to know a brothers love,
This is to New York City angels,
And the rivers of our blood,
This is to all of us,
To all of us,

So don't tell me if I'm dying,
Cause I don't wanna know,
If I can't see the sun,
Maybe I should go,
Don't wake me cause I'm dreaming,
Of angels on the moon,
Where everyone you know,
Never leaves too soon,

Yeah you can tell me,
All your thoughts about the stars,
That fill polluted skies,
And show me where you run to,
When no one's left to take your side
But don't tell me where the road ends,
Cause I just don't wanna know,
No, I don't wanna know,

Don't tell me if I'm dying,
Don't tell me if I'm dying.

Learning - Eric Kim (Fri 29 Apr 2016)

Wilpena Sunset - Wilpena / Flinders Ranges / South Australia (Tue 12 Apr 2016)

Eric Kim on Learning:

to learn is to be alive. And to be alive is to create

via Never Stop Learning by Eric Kim.

Back two weeks now from a quick one week tour around Adelaide and the surrounding areas. Stunning ancient landscapes and expansive skies wherever you go. Awe inspiring and back here after some wandering. Thanks Eric.

The Lucky Ones

This is a work in progress. It has been in my head for a long time now, but it has been hard to write. Hopefully, it will make sense. I expect to modify it a bit over the next few weeks, but at least it is a start.

A few months before Jenny died, I read Lance Armstrong's book entitled "Its not about the bike". Jenny had been given a copy by a long time friend, Mena, not long after the book was first published here in Australia (sometime around 2002/3 I am guessing). She read the book quickly and I know she got a lot from the pages. For some reason I did not read the book until early May 2009.

Geoff, Jenny, Mena, Steve and Joanne - Natation DB Titles - Kawana / Qld - Sat 25 Apr 2009 (picasa)

I bought my own copy so that I could read the book that meant so much to Jenny. I think I was motivated by the fact the Jenny was progressing to the final stages of her Cancer (at least that is reluctantly what I quietly started to think - she had just been diagnosed with multiple tumors in her liver on the 11 Mar 2009 - not a very promising situation). I thought I might find something in the pages to understand her and our situation.

I read the book, intermittently over a few weeks, at my local coffee shop before work and on the train to work. There was lots of the book that resonated with me, particularly his encounters with cancer. One part in particular struck a chord with me. It was about a half through, where he writes about what he felt during chemotherapy following neurosurgery to remove a beign brain tumor.

What is stronger, fear or hope? It's an interesting question, and perhaps even an important one. Initially, I was very fearful and without much hope, but as I sat there and absorbed the full extent of my illness, I refused to let the fear completely blot out my optimism. Something told me that fear should never fully rule the heart, and I decided not to be afraid.

I wanted to live, but whether I would or not was a mystery, and in the midst of confronting that fact, even at that moment, I was beginning to sense that to stare into the heart of such a fearful mystery wasn't a bad thing. To be afraid is a priceless education. Once you have been that scared, you know more about your frailty than most people, and I think that changes a man. I was brought low, and there was nothing to take refuge in but the philosophical: this disease would force me to ask more of myself as person than I ever had before, and to seek out a different ethic.

A couple of days earlier, I had received an e-mail from a military guy stationed in Asia. He was a fellow cancer patient, and he wanted to tell me something.

"You don't know it yet," he wrote, "but we're the lucky ones."

I'd said aloud, "This guy's a nut."

What on earth could he mean?

When I read this, I stored it away in my mind, eagerly awaiting Lance's own answer to this question - lucky .. What on earth could he mean?. It would come quietly on the last page of the book.

"You don't know it yet, but we're the lucky ones," my fellow cancer patient had written.

I will always carry the lesson of cancer with me, and feel that I'm a member of the cancer community. I believe I have an obligation to make something better out of my life than before, and to help my fellow human beings who are dealing with the disease. It's a community of shared experience. Anyone who has heard the words You have cancer and thought, "Oh, my God, I'm going to die," is a member of it. If you've ever belonged, you never leave.

Jenny had often indicated that she felt lucky (I think in both aspects - that of surviving an aggressive cancer and oddly enough, having had had cancer). She said this in the Australian Story Episode, "In the Pink":

'I don't understand how things work out, and why things work out the way they do. I feel like I've been lucky. I don't understand how cancer works, I don't know why I've been blessed the way I have been.'

Jenny - Australian Story - "In the Pink - Kirrawee - May 2004 (picasa)

and in her Talks:

'I feel I am so lucky and have a wonderful life. I have had some great opportunities through breast cancer to meet some very inspiring people. Geoff and Jo have been a constant source of support for me. Breast cancer has totally changed my life but for the best.'

Relay for Life 2007 - Jenny - Survivor Representative - Sylvania Waters - Sat 28 Apr 2007 (picasa)

The Rainbow Connection - Phil, John, Marj, Jenny, Liz, Noel - Phil passed away shortly after this photo was taken - he often spoke to Jenny about how luck seemed to play a big part in how things worked out, but sometimes you make you own luck - Rely for Life 2003 - Sylvania Waters - Sat 31 May 2003 - (picasa)

As Jenny's International Dragon Boating Career started, she came to the attention of the Media and in the first Newspaper Article she featured in, she was even compared to Lance Armstrong:

Don Iverson, Director of the Health and Productivity Research Center at the University of Wollongong, said that Ms Petterson could be compared to Lance Armstrong, who won the Tour de France after fighting testicular cancer.

'It's almost superhuman,' he said.

Cancer wont slow rowing champion - Sydney Sun Herald - 2 May 2004

She was a little embarrassed by the comparison, but Jo and I were very proud of Jenny and her achievements in her treatment, her sport and her life as breast cancer survivor.

Geoff, Jenny, Grace, Lynn, Betty, Thomas, Grant, Joanne and David - Relay for Life 2007 - Jenny - Survivor Representative - Sylvania Waters - Sat 28 Apr 2007 (picasa)


After Jenny's passing, I had an encounter in the Intensive Care Unit where Jenny left us. Joanne and I had gone back to thank the staff at the St George Hospital and to pickup some scans that had been lost in Jenny's move from the Level 1 to ICU. We spoke to the head ICU nurses (they were between shifts) and we knew both of them from Jenny's time in ICU (and I was well known to them as I had fainted in ICU on Jenny's second day in ICU after the neurosurgery). We talked a little and I mentioned that Jenny did consider herself lucky to have had cancer - as she said herself - it had changed her life for the better. One the nurses questioned this statement and she made me feel a little uneasy for saying what I had said. She could not believe anyone with cancer could consider themselves lucky. Maybe, she had seen too much of the cold harsh reality of cancer in that ICU. Maybe she was right. It did not seem too lucky now that Jenny was gone?

This conversation stuck in my mind for a long time, and I started to question many things. It was not until I came across the following blog post by Doug Miller that I found some peace. Here was a man who had recently been diagnosed with Cancer. He was articulate and in many ways his post offers so much more than Lance's writings on Cancer and Luck. This is probably the most moving piece of writing I have read in my life. I don't have cancer, but I have lived a shared life with it and it's consequences. I can truly emphasise. Here it is. My heart is with you Doug ..

Doug Miller - Colorado Trail San Juan Mountains - 1994 - A Single Path - (blog)

The Lucky Ones by Doug Miller (Wed 23 Sep 2009)

[..] a friend [..] pointed me to Lance Armstrong's book entitled "Its not about the bike" I picked up a copy and quickly read through it. I liked it.

It had a bit much detail focusing on cycling, but that was an aspect of the man that could obviously not be separated from the larger reality of his battle with cancer.

There were portions though that left my mind spinning. Armstrong's description of his diagnosis and the roller coaster of emotions that ensued was painfully raw and hit the mark with a clarity and similarity I could not deny. I myself am walking those darkened and fearful paths as I write these very words.

Out of all the pages a couple simple statements that he made resonated with me in a powerful way.

Armstrong tells of a letter that he received. It was from a man he had never met before. He himself had battled cancer. He wrote Armstrong to acknowledge his support and positive thoughts. As he finished the letter he made a strange statement that confused Armstrong. He wrote, "you probably do not understand this right now, but we are the lucky ones".

What? How is anyone with cancer lucky? It is devastating. It not only has the potential to steal your life, but also has the destructive potential to steal your Hope. Those words are haunting. Lucky? We are the lucky ones. This brotherhood of suffering is somehow lucky..........blessed?

It is diametrically opposed to any sort of sane thinking that those outside of this brotherhood would agree with. It actually is an almost dangerous statement. As if you say it as you are waking off a cliff without a safety net. A statement such as that redefines everything. Life. Death. And even Hope.

But as I walk this path, and simultaneously encounter life in all its beauty and harshness, I find myself agreeing. "We are the lucky ones". I am lucky. I say those words with a part of me screaming, "how dare you, how can you say that". But it is true. The perspective that cancer gives to life is unbelievable. It has the power to refine you. Your thoughts. Your direction. Your focus.

It is as if you look at life for the first time. Everything is different. Nothing is the same. Everything is turned on edge, revealing a freshness and an urgency that is not seen outside of cancer. If this clarity does exist in our normal lives, it is missed. Overshadowed by the busyness of life. By worthless and empty pursuits.

Another quote from Armstrong's book was this: "Cancer is not about dying, it is about living" What a statement.

Most would argue against it. But those that walk this path find it to be true. Life after diagnosis becomes "alive". It becomes real. It is as if you can grasp it with your own hands, breath it in, consume it.

Oh if I could have had this view earlier in life. I knew that it existed. I sensed it. I chased it. Through the mountains. Through relationships. In the woods and fields of my youth. It was a whisper in the words of poets. And a reflection on the horizon as the sun slipped out of view. But i did not catch it until cancer became my reference. My reality.

We who are members of this brotherhood and sisterhood of suffering are the lucky ones, because now we can truly live. And Love. And Hope. And I dare to say Dream. They are painful dreams, haunted with the shadows of uncertainty, but they are vivid dreams. Passionate dreams. Dreams that leave your heart aching, your soul longing. We are released from the fear of death. Our finite lives are bared.

We come face to face with our mortality and realize that life is looking back at us. Raw and uncertain. But ALIVE none the less. There were days before cancer that I despaired. At times despising my life. But now I am hungry to live. I long to live. Whether that time be long or short, I hold tight to life and all of its glorious agony.

Posted by Doug Miller at 9:11 PM

On Vivian Maier - Jerry Saltz / Vulture (Sun 30 Jun 2014)

An Observer (*) - Barcelona (Tue 06 Aug 2013)
Jerry Saltz (*) writes On Vivian Maier (*):

She was a servant of her talent (*), compelled to use her servitude (*) to make what she needed to make. [..]

Bells go off when you look at her pictures; you become witness to something big. Proust talked of "the apogee of the particular." That's here. This gives Maier's work psychological and philosophical force, something deeply observant. At the same time, she also has an outsider's (*) view of the world. She's one who watches, silently observes (*), is alert to the tiniest disturbance in the visual or psychic field. [..] The valor of being alive comes into focus.

via Jerry Saltz on Finding Vivian Maier: An Invisible Artist and the Man Who Found Her (*) by Jerry Saltz (*).

When the master sees that the warrior is sad, he says ..

When the master sees that the warrior is sad, he says ..

'You are not what you seem to be in these moments of sadness. You are better than that.

Many have left - for reasons we will never understand - but you are still here. Why did God carry off all those amazing people and leave you?

By now, millions of people will have given up. They don't get angry, they don't weep, they don't do anything; they merely wait for time to pass. They have lost the ability to react.

You, however, are sad. That proves that your soul is still alive.'

From the 'The Manual of the Warrior Light' by Paul Coelho.

Today, I just decided to pick a page at random to read - this was that page. A nice way to look at things, really.

Shroud - Mount Gower / Lord Howe Island - 22 Oct 2001

On Photography - Joel Meyerowitz / Vice Beta (Nov 2012)

Weathered Door - Mitchell Road / Alexandria (Wed 21 Nov 2012)
Joel Meyerowitz (*) reveals in The Young Gun Meets the Living Legend (*):

Every time you take a picture, you’re saying yes to what you see.

There should be a degree of consciousness about who you are in the world at that moment, a kind of integrated consciousness.

It’s not blind luck, so if one can find what it is that makes you conscious, what gives you the pleasure of being alive at that moment, I feel that is what leads you to your own identity.

Because in the long run, your individual identity will be revealed by the strength of the photographs you make in one year, ten years, 15 years—there’s a string.

They’re like little jewels on the string and they carry all the messages that you were excited by when the world spoke to you.

From an Interview (*) with Olivia Bee (*).

Believe in Hope - Cleveland Street / Chippendale (Wed 29 Jul 2015)

Believe in Hope - Cleveland Street / Chippendale (Wed 29 Jul 2015)

On Hope ..

Thinking about the future is a way of keeping hope alive

Inspire Award 2020 - Pacific Dragons - Nicola Frowen (Sun 08 Nov 2020)

This is the 11th year of the Inspire Award. The award was created in the memory of club member Jenny Petterson who passed away in June 2009. Jenny was the slightly older identical twin of Joanne and Geoff was her Husband.

Jenny had a long journey in life with breast cancer and all the complications that come with a persistent and aggressive cancer. It was through this journey she found paddling. It gave her a chance to be like everyone else and she loved the training, competing and being part of a team. She paddled at the highest level, even up to the last month of her life. She was an inspiration to many through her actions and approach to life with cancer. She was a speaker for the Breast Cancer Network of Australia and spoke regularly to various groups in the community.

To remember Jenny, and to promote and acknowledge inspirational qualities within the club, the PD's committee of the day, created what is now the Inspire Award. Nominations are made by club members for their paddling club members. Initially, the Committee would make the decision and put the names forward to Joanne and Geoff as a courtesy. As the years passed, the committee decided to forward recommended nominations and it is now up to Joanne and Geoff to decide the recipient. A big responsibility for us.

This year the Committee received many great nominations made in the true spirit of the award and it is pleasing to see that inspiration is alive and well within the club. Included in the nominations this year were Caitlin Moffat, Esther Wheeler, Hannaleena Mikkonen, Jodie Dunbar, Jo Petterson, Karina Piddington, Nicola Frowen, Rachel Mosen, Vicki Rowcliff, Ian Amos and Geoff Eldridge.

As we look back we can see that the 2019/20 season was somewhat different in a few ways. Bushfires to start with and a global pandemic to follow that reached our shores in March 2020. As a result, it took the Inspire Award in a different direction to what we had hoped at the beginning of the season.

The pandemic showed to us many things that we had taken for granted, and at the same time reintroduced us to another time where life was a little slower, simpler and more local. It showed us that we were resilient and resourceful. For a moment our nation’s leader’s put aside politics and actual lead us through a very difficult time, We responded as individuals to situation the best we could and we were asked to make sacrifices for the long term good of our Nation and its’ people. We were also asked to isolate and distance ourselves and in process we became closer through a share experienced.

At a club-level the response was immediate and very effective. The club leadership recognised the importance of connection in insolation right from the very start and we had many club members contribute Facebook Live content – from their gardens, to kitchens, bikes, virtual drinks, to workspaces and who could ever forget the dextrous virtual “passing” of a toilet roll (no pun intended) across the club’s membership in insolation. We even had virtual single craft time-trials.

Our club leadership stepped up in these difficult times and provided a safe and inclusive environment for all club members to feel connected in a virtual way, since we could not interact in our usual way.

It took teamwork from our club leadership to quickly devise and implement a plan. Inspirational leadership ignites a spark within those they care for. The recipient of this year’s Inspire Award was a person who shone a bright and optimistic light on the club’s response as it evolved with the everchanging requirements of the pandemic response. She provided hope and that spark for many to act and I was one. There is not another person that has had a bigger impact on Jo and my lives, than this year’s Inspire Award recipient - Nicola Frowen. Congratulations Nicola.

We have known Nicola for many years now and well remember when she arrived as a new paddler supporting a friend who wanted to try paddling. Luckily for us, Nicola stayed while her friend moved on. Jo and I, as well as many here, have shared so many great experiences with her over the subsequent years both here and abroad. Working in the travel industry she has always had a hand in our travel arrangements one way or another and has kept us all very organised.

We have seen her grow as an inspirational paddler, coordinator, coach, leader and mentor. She recognises potential and opportunities for club members to contribute and is not afraid to suggest people to take on roles and undertake tasks. She believes in you and will support you. Here are what other club members have contributed.

From Caitlin:

Nicola has supported me the whole way through this accidental/last minute President situation. If she was not as generous with her time and knowledge, I would genuinely be lost. Every time I have asked for help, she has been there for me regardless of the millions of things she has going on.

Nicola's commitment to the club is like an iceberg, most people only see 10%. Her passion for our club and its members is unrivalled. It is all of that and more that continuously inspires me to be a better paddler, a committed club member and an outstanding President.

From Steve:

Nicola has a seemingly tireless energy, passion and enthusiasm for the PD's. Is always working on 'something' for the club be it as a coach, committee member, paddler or just assisting to keep things running over the last few months with the Covid-crisis. I might be seen to be slightly biased, but I am really speaking objectively and from personal 'observations'...!

Others added:

• Nicola is completely committed to ensuring that the club is training well and working together. Her encouragement before and after a race is motivating.
• from Nicola’s support across all paddling codes, words of encouragement and push to help our sport get back to the water is inspiring Nicola goes above and beyond in so many ways, most unseen by the club, to make things happen.
• Nicola has put in so much time into her own training and also to coaching others to better the club and has put in a lot of time to organise events etc

Congratulations Nicola. Thank you for everything. You are and always will be an inspiration.

Interpreting Art - William Todd Schultz (Sat 20 Sep 2014)

A Bar at the Folies-Bergère (*) - Courtauld Gallery / London (Mon 15 Sep 2014)
William Todd Schultz (*) writes on Art (*):

what keeps art alive is exactly interpretation—talking about it, speculating about it.

via More About the 'Torture' Post (*) by Michael Johnston (*).

I wish you enough - Paulo Coelho (14 Feb 2011)

From I wish you enough - Paulo Coelho (14 Feb 2011)  

‘When we said, ‘I wish you enough,’ we were wanting the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them.’

Then turning toward me, he shared the following as if he were reciting it from memory.

•  I wish you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.
 

•  I wish you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more..


•  I wish you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.


•  I wish you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.


• I wish you enough gain to satisfy your wanting…


• I wish you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
 

• I wish you enough hellos to get you through the final good- bye.

On Remembering - Family Photographs - Colin Pantall (Tue 06 Nov 2012)

Orange - Asakusa Kannon Temple / Tokyo (Fri 21 Sep 2012)

Sometimes photography seems abstract, but then something happens that makes it concrete.
Colin Pantall (Tue 06 Nov 2012)

Sometimes you read an almost random post by someone you don't even know - you it find so pertinent and you are deeply touched and you learn something about life and yourself. Today is one such day ..

Colin Pantall (*) writes (*) on the passing of his Mother-in-Law, Elizabeth, last weekend:

I think it was a relief in some ways that she died, because she wasn't independent and it wasn't the way she wanted to live, but at the same time it was a massive shock. Not because of the death, but because of the passing of an era, the end of a living history. You can keep history alive in various ways, but when the person who witnessed it goes, it does spell the end of a chapter. It doesn't mean we should forget it, but there is still some part of a time that has gone. Things have moved on.

He also talks about how someone is remembered through photographs and our memories.

On Photography, he writes:

things are also preserved and the family album does this admirably. It's a shorthand of memory, of history, of an edited and at times idealised past, where certain things are hidden and certain things taken away - sometimes in retrospect. Even so, we still look at it quite objectively as something quite factual.

However, complementing the photos (if they were made and are available), there are the memories to draw upon and the cues (*) that inspire them:

But Elizabeth didn't have those old photos, so I wonder how she will be remembered. Just as words are sometimes better than photographs, so is food. I remember her Slovenian cooking, her gingerbread, her puddings, her cakes and so does my wife.

I have learnt that it is important to remember and in some ways this has become my life purpose (*). As Colin reminds us, there are photos as well as our memories - what we remember.

eljeiffel (*) for me is all these elements of remembering, remembering not only Jenny (*) and those that have gone before us, but my own legacy (*) - the scratches and fractures (even if it is just a couple of photographs of the colours orange and blue, and the hidden memories they evoked in me) I will leave on this world when I am gone.

Blue - Asakusa Kannon Temple / Tokyo (Fri 21 Sep 2012)

On Contact Sheets - Sean O'Hagan (Wed 02 Sep 2015)

iPhone photo album - Alexandria (Thu 03 Sep 2015)

Sean O'Hagan on Contact Sheets:

the contact sheet is a repository of evidence that can reveal both a photographer’s greatness – and their fallibility.

via Contact sheets: where the magic and chaos of photographs comes alive by Sean O'Hagan.

On Humility - Notes to Inspire (Thu 02 Jul 2015)

Trees splashed across a Water Canvas - Canberra (Sun 05 Aug 2002)

Notes to Inspire on Humility:

When we feel humiliated the best reaction is humility.

via Archive: Notes to Inspire by Notes to Inspire.

Good advice for someone who has spent his whole life feeling guilty about being alive, about his good fortune in life, to have felt the things he has felt, to have been to the places he has been, to have seen what he has seen - to have experienced life the way he has and hopes to have. Maybe these thoughts of guilt show a humility that I had not recognised in myself and that I should not feel guilty about that (guilt - it's an endless loop, you see :-)). It just might show a humbleness and a clarity of purpose on a life being well lived.

Not sure where these words came from and again they might appear a little self-indulgent for a so-called humble person. I love it when a few well crafted words, like those above by Notes to Inspire, take you on a small journey to a place you didn't even know a few minutes earlier. Thanks Notes to Inspire, I appreciate your daily emails and Words of Wisdom.

Sign Sign everywhere a sign - Wilson Street / Newtown (Thu 24 Feb 2011)

Sign Sign Everywhere a Sign - Wilson Street / Newtown (Thu 24 Feb 2011)
Just playing around with my new camera.

Reminded of the song Signs by Five Man Electrical Band.

Here are the lyrics:

V1
And the sign said long haired freaky people need not apply
So I tucked my hair up under my hat and I went in to ask him why
He said you look like a fine upstanding young man, I think you'll do
So I took off my hat I said imagine that, huh, me working for you
woah!

Chorus:

Sign Sign everywhere a sign
Blocking out the scenery breaking my mind
Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign

V2
And the sign said anybody caught trespassing would be shot on sight
So I jumped on the fence and yelled at the house, Hey! what gives you the right
To put up a fence to keep me out or to keep mother nature in
If God was here, he'd tell you to your face, man you're some kinda sinner

Repeat Chorus:

Bridge:

Now, hey you Mister! can't you read, you got to have a shirt and tie to get a seat
You can't even watch, no you can't eat, you ain't suppose to be here
Sign said you got to have a membership card to get inside Uh!

V3
And the sign said everybody welcome, come in, kneel down and pray
But when they passed around the plate at the end of it all,
I didn't have a penny to pay, so I got me a pen and a paper and I made up my own little sign
I said thank you Lord for thinking about me, I'm alive and doing fine

Repeat Chorus
Repeat Chorus


© 1970, 2002 Five Man Electrical Band

Will embed the youtube video in a future post.

Wind in the Willows - Qingpu / China (20 Oct 2004)

Trees are exceptional people - Wind in the Willows - Qingpu / China - 20 Oct 2004 (picasa)
"Trees are exceptional, people [..]
Belonging fully to earth but living also in sky
They have no death but only transformations."

From Future Now by Tessa Ransford

Jenny always loved this photo which I took while Jenny and Joanne participated in the 2004 World Dragon Boat Championships at Qingpu, a lakeside race course, about 50 km to the west of Shanghai. I had it professionally printed in A4 and A3 sizes with a selection of my favourite photos. Jenny always wanted me to frame it and put it up somewhere in the living area so we could remember our trip to Qingpu and Shanghai as well as enjoy the intricate and subtle details of the sunset silhouetted wind blown willow.

Whenever Jenny went into Hospital we always put photos up around her room and it was always a great way to generate a bit of conversation with the many Hospital Satff that were in and out of her room.

When Jenny went into ICU for the final week of her life, I pulled the A4 print of this photo out of the pile of prints I had had made and placed it on a column in front of her bed in the vague hope that she might see and recognise it.

On the day before Jenny died Joanne picked up the photo and moved it across Jenny's face and we were excited to see her eyes follow it - the first sign to us of some improvement in her condition. I went off to an outrigging canoe training session that Monday night happier than I had been in a long time and I arranged to see her on the way home, well after the normal visiting hours.

When I arrived into the ICU about 9.30pm, it was a different place to the busy and noisy place it was during the day. It was very quiet and the lights were dimmed apart from a soft spot light above Jenny's bed. She was asleep and looked very relaxed, the most relaxed I had seen her in the two weeks she had been in hospital. I decided not to wake her and sat quietly at her bed side and watched her steady breathing. I spoke quietly and proudly to Jenny's dedicated nurse about Jenny's life. I left Jenny that night not knowing that it would be the last time I would see her alive.

At 9.16am on Tue 30 Jun 2009 (the next morning), Jenny left us without Joanne or I by her bedside. Yet I know, Jenny was not alone, as the above photo, the one she loved so much, looked over her as she broke free from this world.

Just as the above poem extracts indicates, it might be nice to think that Jenny transformed herself into our memories:

They have no death but only transformations

It is through our memories of Jenny that she lives on.

I will frame both A4 and A3 prints once I find a place for them and myself. For the moment I am happy to have written this post (which i had planned to do for a long time) which was inspired by the above poem extract. Thanks Charlotte.

Thanks to LottieP for allowing me to find the above extract from a poem by Tessa Ransford via her post of a beautiful poem titled The White Stone of Lewis.

(My first post from an iPad while on a weeks holiday at Coolangatta.)

On Instinct: The Good and The Bad - Tony Fouhse (Fri 01 Nov 2013)

Heart - Oxford Street / London (Sat 17 Aug 2013)
Tony Fouhse (*) writes On Instinct (*):

In my experience (*) most people's good instincts (*) are remarkably similar, while their bad instincts are often particular. By embracing your good and bad ideas (*) and impulses, by figuring out how to incorporate them into your life (*) and your work, you somehow become more yourself. Plus, you'll probably end up in unfamiliar (*) territory, a place that will engage (*) you in ways you can't imagine (*), make you feel more alive (*).

via Follow your Bad Instincts: Dos and Don'ts of Tony Fouhse (*) by Colin Pantall (*).

On Photography - Joel Meyerowitz - Time Lightbox (Fri 02 Nov 2012)

On Approach to Busan [1] (Tue 04 Sep 2012)
From Taking His Time: A Look Back at 50 Years of Joel Meyerowitz’s Photographs, (*) Nate Rawlings (*) writes about Joel Meyerowitz (*):

When he is shooting on the street, there isn’t much time to contemplate each moment.

"Photography takes place in a fraction of a second"

Meyerowitz says.

"There isn't a lot of time to think about things. You have to hone your instinct. You learn to hone that skill and timing so you’re in the right place at the right time."

Although he has made images that have moved audiences for decades, that has never been his true motivation.

"I'm not out there to make another ‘great picture,"

he says.

I’m really out there to feel what it feels like to be alive and conscious in that moment. In a sense, the record of my photographs is a record of moments of consciousness and awareness that have come to me in my life"

[1] The light was just beautiful as the sun rose on our landing approach to Busan. Often just photograph a scene because of the good nature of the light. For me the scene has extra meaning as it represents the beginning of a long, challenging and, ultimately, rewarding trip to Busan, South Korea.

The Pacific Dragons 2013 Inspire Award in the Memory of Jenny Petterson - Glebe/Sydney and Dubrovnik/Croatia (Sat 03 Aug 2013)

Jenny - Suzhou / China (Tue 16 Nov 2004) Petar Hektorovic (*) - Tvrdalj Fortress (*) / Stari Grad (*) / Hvar (*) (Wed 31 Jul 2013)
First, a thank you..

Here we are in Dubrovnik.

Croatia, is just beautiful and the highlight has been a small courtyard in the small Fortress of the 16th Century Croatian Poet, Petar Hektorovic, in the tiny town of Stari Grad on the Island of Hvar, two hours by Ferry out of Split. Jo and I spread some of Jenny's ashes there and it was one of the most peaceful places (*) I have experienced and his words (*) seem quite relevant and profound.

We feel privileged and lucky to have the ability to make and have these experiences.

Caitlin, Lisa, Jo, Kaizer and myself have just competed at the 11th World DB Champs with the 2013 Australian Auroras Squad. It was a great event and we have some amazing memories.

The Hungarians have shown the world how to host a modern World Dragon Boat Championships, which have become carnival like because of their size.

It was also great to paddle on a course so rich in paddling history.

The highlight of the championships for me was watching Jo, carry the Australian Flag and leading the whole Australian Squad at the Opening Ceremony.

Joanne, Jenny would be so proud of you as we all are. A tribute (*) to Joanne and those those have supported her in paddling and life will follow the presentation.

On behalf of Caitlin, Lisa, Jo, Kaizer and myself, we thank you all for supporting us in paddling and life. Pacific Dragons provides the home and base which nurtures us as paddlers and people.

A little about Jenny now ..

Jenny said to me towards the end, when the destination of her disease became more real, that she would miss the travel adventures with us - no doubt in travels and in life.

It is just over 4 years ago that she said those words and it would be a few short months later she left this world.

She did not feel sorry for herself in saying those words. She always had a strong sense of reality about her life, her cancer and her purpose in life.

This was one of the inspiring traits I would take from her and one we can all take from her as we face the uncertainties which will become the certainties of our lives.

When she did die, I had already decided that I should live on in her "Afterglow". This was much easier to say than do and for a long time I thought my life purpose had been served and honoured.

Those early days were the hardest of my life and it would take a long time to find my confidence, to start living my life again. That there was a purpose. All I could really do was paddle. In some ways, it was during those days I found myself.

Jenny loved travel, a globe and atlas and it was no surprise that geography was her favourite class. Had she been born in earlier times, she would have a been great explorer - and without doubt, Captain Petterson, as I would call her, would have been an important name in our history books and classes, along with Columbus and Cook.

So, whenever we decided to travel, she was also the navigator, along with Jo, of course. With a sheet of paper and pen in hand, they would thumb through the atlas and rotate the globe charting our path and planning our itinerary.

Croatia was Jenny's choice for our Europe 2009 trip following the World DB Champs in Prague. However, she would not make it here, passing away 9 weeks before the Worlds.

We did not travel to Croatia in 2009. In the haze of grief and bereavement, I can't remember why now.

So for this 2013 Hungary Campaign, we decided that Croatia would be our first stop, in order to honour Jenny's wishes.

As it is with everything now, I feel a sense of guilt that I am alive and experiencing life and Jenny is not. That I am experiencing this trip, Szeged and in particular the Croatian coast and our current port Dubrovnik.

However, these feelings of guilt are balanced with the thought that she inspires us to continue our lives to the full, including creating these experiences. It is what she would want us to do.

Maybe in some ways I feel that when we meet again, I can tell her all the great things we have done.

So while there are feelings of guilt, I balance them with those of inspiration, intention, innocence, naviety and awe. In this way, a perspective on life can be found and along with a sense of empathy, it can give your life a solid foundation even during the toughest moments.

I talk about this because I have come to realise that others have or will have these moments and this is just one way, my way at least, to respond. This is life.

So to the 2013 Inspire Award ..

A common word used in all the presentations over years is the word "Belief". It seems to pop up all the time.

Last year I spoke a little about belief, in the sense that inspiring people seem to have a belief in themselves - we call it self-belief.

So I started to think about where does self belief come from?

I would find an answer a month after, via a blog post by Spencer Lum, a New York based wedding photographer, of all people. His words made it crystal clear to me. He wrote:

[..] if you’re willing to take a gamble, I’ll bet on you. If you’re willing to put it out there, if you’re willing to fail, if you’re willing to let go of it all, thumb your nose at the world, and do it your way, I’ll believe in you. [..]

"I’ll believe in you." Spencer wrote. There it was. The answer was so simple - self belief first comes from others who believe in you.

Often it takes some time to have the confidence to believe in one self. Initially, more often than not, the belief comes from others. Those who support and love you for who you are.

It is only with time, experience and the support of those others who believe in you, that you can find your own self belief and you start say things to yourself like

• yes, I can do that,


• you start finding reasons why you can, rather than you can't, and


• when you question yourself with "why?", you are able to say "well ,why not!"

It is then that things start to happen.

As time goes by, you become stronger, more independent and not afraid to give things a go, even if it means making mistakes and / or failing. You know that the risk is worth the reward of at least trying, whatever the outcome.

So what does this have to do with the 2013 Inspire Award?

The recipient of this award realised her own self-belief this year, initially through the support of her coaches and those that have paddled with her since joining the club.

Something happened this year for her. She had been making changes and steady improvements over the years, but she realised she needed to start believing in herself. It was a natural progression.

I was lucky enough to sit next her one week night dragon boat training session going into CNY. She trained strongly and between sets we chatted briefly. She told me that she needed to start believing in herself and that she was almost there. I was impressed. This is the stuff I had been thinking about.

The next weekend she made this very visible to her coaches, paddling buddies and most importantly, herself, by performing a stunning 4km OC1 time trial out of Dobroyd Point. This was the turning point, the starting point to self belief.

It was fantastic to witness that very moment.

I have seen it time and time again in our club. Coaches and others believing, paddlers changing and then suddenly something remarkable happens. They start believing in themselves. It is the great thing about our club and it is what I love about PDs.

So the 5th and 2013 recipient of the Inspire Award in the Memory of Jenny Petterson is Cath Gale.

A big congratulations to you Cath from Jo and myself. You are an inspiration.

Have a great night all. We will be thinking of you all and we look forward to getting back into it all on our return in late August.
Water - Courtyard Pond - Petar Hektorovic (*) - Tvrdalj Fortress (*) / Stari Grad (*) / Hvar (*) (Wed 31 Jul 2013) Incriptions - Petar Hektorovic (*) - Tvrdalj Fortress (*) / Stari Grad (*) / Hvar (*) (Wed 31 Jul 2013)