The Catch - Johnny Puakea and Danny Ching OC Clinic (16 May 2008)

The Catch - Johnny Puakea and Danny Ching Paddling Clinic OC Clinic - at blip.tv (16 May 2008)
John: What I look for is a forward angle on the catch. 99% of people are going to reach and look exactly like this (Danny on ERG in perfect setup) before they take a stroke. But what they are going to do is come 8, 9 or 10 inches before they hit the water. And another 2 or 3 inches before they sink the blade.

So the idea is to set that blade we you reach it.

I hear all the time that "I hit the front iako" in the canoe. Well if you are hitting the front iako, but your putting in the paddle a foot back. So why not just put the paddle in there?

The idea is to reach the paddle to the point you are going to put in. If you can only put the full blade in at this point. Then start there. Don't reach out here and then come back 5, 6 or 7 inches before you set the blade. It's a wasted motion. If you can get in here at this angle, then eventually over time as you get more comfortable then you start moving a half inch further forward, and then move another half inch farther forward.

So forward angle on the catch is the first thing I look for.

I look for a triangle. The bottom of the blade is here is one point. Your top hand is the second point and the back of your hip is your third.

So if you body has this triangle motion and you set the blade there and then you start to use your larger efficient muscles (???).

I will let Danny do some talking as he is good at this.

Danny: As Johny said, the biggest thing is to get your blade to set in the water. It doesn't count if the tip just touches the water and it does not count if it is up in the air. The entire blade has to be set.

Johnny actually showed me a drill that is really hard to do but is surprisingly sounds really easy. You literally just set up, set you blade in the water at forward angle, don't pull and then take it out. Amazing how many people setup in the air start back to pull and it surprisingly simple. All you do is set up the blade and you just set blade in the water, take it out, set it again. This kind of gets you use to knowing where your catch is.

Some people have really long arms that are great for putting the paddle up here. Some people have little short arms. It's kind whatever you can reach comfortably because if you get this point (over extended). You can't pull from here, You can't be really efficient from here. You need to find that extension where you have a forward angle and you setting the whole blade in the under water (at a positive angle).

99% of paddlers get here, start there stroke and it is buried here and this is where the stroke starts (short).

You have a great picture of you and the paddle in the air and this great reach and everything is perfect. But you are not starting your stroke until here. (short)

Johnny: That's why every likes pictures of them paddling in the air, because it looks great. And you get a six man team and everyone looks awesome and then a lot of times with the video you go stroke by stroke.

If you can get someone to take a video of you and you think about that forward angle on the catch and where you are setting your catch. If you go frame by frame, you see each frame as go come back farther and farther until the blade gets in the water.

A lot of times, by the time you set that blade in, a lot of people have this angle (negative) on the shaft.

You have lost your whole load at the front. The reason you are paddling up front is that you are using leverage instead of muscle and that is how I kind of look at it.

[By example] If you are reaching out really far and setting it in, you are using lats, legs, stomach and core muscles. You know if you are in here and bending your arm, and this is where it feels heavy (during the pull). A lot people think I am doing a lot of work, I am really strong and this is working out. Well that's not it. The reason is that it feels heavy is that you no longer have leverage. Out here feels (extended) easy because you ahve leverage. It should feel like you are out in front and you have set the blade and you literally grab onto mud or concrete.

OK I always say, that if a door is closed shut and it is nailed closed. What you are going to do is put your foot one the wall and you ging to have your arm out and you are going to pull on it this way (at 4:25 sec mark - effectively shows leg drive also).

It's the same thing when you are paddling. You are never going to go up to that door and go half way up to it, and give it good yank, because there is no leverage.

Any questions? That is just the first part.

Danny: You will know when you get out and set the blade on forward angle, because it feels heavier and it is actually harder. Once you get going, that's going to help you out just to keep your speed. (???)

When you get out here. Once you set the blade, it feels a lot heavier, then if you are going to pull back and set here (short).

Johnny: That's where the one man technique comes in so handy in canoe paddling. A lot people just paddle 6 mans and not one mans (??). If you have your own boat, you can get out there and see where you are putting the paddle in. No timing to keep up with, nobody is racing you, you are not in the competiiton mode. You just sit there relax and go. OK:

• can I put that paddle in up front?


• Did I have a forward angle?


• Did I set the whole blade?

If you can get that blade set at a forward angle at the front, then half you battle is over.

Grand Masters Crew Leader Speech - Australian Auroras Team Dinner - Tampa / USA (Mon 01 Aug 2011)

On behalf of the Grand Dragon's I would like to congratulate everyone here on their achievements in reaching this point in their Climb to Tampa 2011.

We are just about to summit and the reality of our training and efforts over the last nine months will soon become crystal clear. This time next week, Tampa 2011 and your efforts will come the most recent addition to the history of Australian Dragon Boating at International Events, in this case the 2011 IDBF World Championships here in Tampa.

In talking about Dragon Boat History, on behalf of us all I would like to acknowledge all of those people, teams and squads that have become before us. They have shown us the way forward and they have demonstrated that anything is possible.

I would like us to reflect briefly on previous Australian Squad Members who have left this world and who inspire us from above. They are:

• Margaret Cantwell - IDBF Worlds (Berlin 2005)


• Jon Taylor - IDBF Worlds (Berlin 2005)


• Jenny Petterson - IDBF Worlds (Shanghai 2004, Berlin 2005, Sydney 2007) and Asian Games (Macau 2006)


• Maurice Cowan - IDBF Worlds (Shanghai 2004, Berlin 2005)

On your behalf, I would also like to acknowledge and thank your "supporters in paddling" - your coaches, managers and team mates.

In particular I acknowledge and thank your "supporters in life" - your understanding families and friends who have no doubt made many sacrifices to see you here representing your country at the highest level in your sport.

As we sit here now, I would like you to think back that very moment you decided and were inspired to become part of the 2011 Auroras Squad. As you reflect over the time from that decision to now, you should be truly proud in your achievement and transformation as a paddler and a person.

At this moment, I would also like you to think of those people in your life or who have been a part of your life and are not on this world now. I would like to remind you of the pride they must have to see you here now and to be racing in the Green and Gold on the water over the next five days.

Today as I watched the Aurora Teams from all Divisions go through their last training drills, I was truly moved by what I witnessed. On the water, I saw a squad unified in technique, drive and purpose. Off the water, I saw teams united in arms and I felt truly proud to be Australian, in a way I have only felt a few other times.

For those who have put in place this National Selection System, there should be a hugh sense of satisfaction in the results that has been achieved as we sit here now. Dragon Boating in Australia continues to move forward from the top via the AusDBF decision making process and from the ranks, through the coaches, managers and paddlers.

Change and the willingness to try new things is always a tricky and difficult process - Who moved my Cheese (*) - (that one is for you Nicola who was there for me when I had my own fears). It is hard to move away from our comfort zones even if the we are willing to change, for you see change is a step into the unknown - a "leap of faith" some would say - and this is always a risky business.

In the end acceptance, willingness and a committment to change is the only way to improve.

To achieve longevity and success in any sport requiries an acceptance of change and adaptability. So for those who have experienced campaigns past, I congratulate you. You are role models.

For those, who this is your first campaign, I also congratulate you on accepting the change and challenges in sitting here today.

I will leave you with a quote from Cadel Evans, winner the of the 2011 Tour de France, Sunday week ago. He said in an interview the day before the now famous Stage 19, which included the famous Alp de Huez Mountain Stage:

"All you have to do is stay calm and go as hard as possible from the start to the finish. It's quite simple, [..] You are only riding a bike from point A to point B."

But as we all know through our own sport and experiences over the last nine months, there is more to it than that. He expands:

"but in terms of technique there is so much in terms of peddling and breathing, and there is the corners. Just concentrating on riding out beyond limit is very taxing."

In closing, just like Cadel, I want you to realise that you are an elite sports person. You represent your country with "Pride, Power, Intensity and Passion". You are at the top of your sport at this very moment in time.

I wish you all the best as you put in place everything that you have learnt in this campaign, in your paddling career and your life, to achieve your personal and team bests, because afterall that is all we can ask of ourselves.

The Climb - Our Main Range Summit Challenge

The Climb - The Main Range Range Summit Challenge

Dragons Abreast Ausrtralia Seminar
Cancer Council Queensland
Tuesday 31st August, 2010

Next is a little story that covers another aspect of Jenny’s Life – our annual trip to the Snowy Mountains and our Main Range Mt Kosciuszko Summit Challenge.

The Colorado Trail is just short of 500 miles in length. Doug Miller spent a summer (approximately 60 days) hiking the trail. In August 2009 he was diagnosed with Cancer.

A few months into his journey with Cancer, he wrote about the lessons he had learnt on the Colorado Trail and how they paralleled the lessons learnt on his journey with Cancer.

I read his story a few months after Jenny had passed away. It resonated with me and I could relate to it, in particular the following quote:

"A single step repeated hundreds and thousands of times would see us eventually arrive at the end.

It did not take superhuman strength or a talent that most do not have. It took a steadfast commitment.

Step by step, the miles added up and the challenges slipped by. Today just like those days on the trail, is another step.

Tomorrow is yet another.

I walk this journey in anticipation of the end, but I also know that there is much to learn in the process.

It is the process, no matter what the hardship where great beauty and adventure can be found."

Doug Miller on the Colorado Trail
Around New Year, for the last 11 years we have travelled to the Snowy Mountains area, around Perisher Valley and Jindabyne, to get away from the holiday crowds, to relax and take in the sights of the Snowy Mountains.

Each year we would also take the opportunity to challenge ourselves to the 22km Main Range Summit walk, to not only witness the beauty of the mountains, but to test ourselves and to benchmark our fitness to the previous year’s effort. This was particularly important for Jenny as she, and we also, could see what effect her cancer and treatment was having on her physical body, for the previous 12 months.

Some years were easy, while others were more challenging, particularly the long and steep uphill leg from the Blue Lake to the Summit of Mt Kosciuszko.

One of the more difficult years for Jenny was January 2008 when a side-effect from one her treatments, which caused soreness and tenderness of her feet (Hand-Foot Syndrome), made it very difficult for her to walk even a few steps. This did not stop her and she did the 22km walk, one painful step at a time. We were so proud of her, though, in typical Jenny style she thought it to be nothing unusual or out of the ordinary.

On the first day of 2009, we did the Main Range walk, for what would turn out to be our last time together. While temperatures in Sydney were the typical balmy 30's, the weather in the Mountains had turned and there was a wind chill factor of minus 15 C. This was our last chance to do the walk. We had tried a day earlier, but were not prepared for the cold. This time we were prepared, with Jenny and Joanne wearing seven layers, as well as beanies and gloves. We decided to at least walk the first 6 km to the Blue Lake and make a decision there whether to continue on for the next 16km or return.

For all of us, the conditions were challenging. However, for Jenny there were extra challenges which revolved around dealing with the many issues relating to her cancer, the most obvious for this higher altitude challenge, being the tumors in her lungs. Little did we know at that stage the cramping in her stomach she had experienced over the previous month or so, would be the early signs of countless tumors in her liver, which would be diagnosed in early March 2009. On top that, was also the embryonic stages of a tumor in her brain, which would manifest itself as a 4cm tumor in early June 2009.

This was definitely the most difficult Main Range challenge for us all, Jenny in particular. She was short of breath, even on the small downhill sections. As we reached the Blue Lake, we rested quite a while and we left it up to Jenny to decide what we should do. Eventually, she said she felt she could do it, so off we nervously set, in very strong head winds, to the Summit. We stopped at Lake Albina on the way.

Every step was a struggle for Jenny and she did amazingly well to make it to the Summit of Mt Kosciuszko. As usual we would take our Summit top photos - this time there was no one there (usually there would be 20-30 people) as we had taken twice as long as normal and we had reached the Summit hours after everyone had headed back to their starting points.

When I read the little story from where the leading quote comes from, I thought of Jenny initially, and later Joanne and myself.

I think it has helped me understand, that we were not only doing this walk each year (with each year being a "step") for the beauty and physical challenge of the Mountains, but also for the beauty that can be found in the "process" of doing something like this each year.

It also helped me appreciate Jenny’s approach to life, her journey with cancer and how she embraced it to live a wonderful and fulfilling life, and to achieve her dreams.

I think it also helps me appreciate the difficult "steps" that Joanne and I take each day, without Jenny's physical presence in our lives - but knowing we are "getting on with life" with the support of our family and friends, and knowing many great experiences and adventures lay ahead for us and those in our lives.

We did the Main Range Summit walk this year, on the 1 Jan 2010 (more here). Jenny was with us every step of the way.

Just another little story of perseverance and determination from Jenny. Jenny guides and inspires us from above.

In closing, we would like to take the opportunity to thank Dragons Abreast. It has provided many opportunities for Jenny, Joanne and I. We are grateful for the experiences in life Dragons Abreast has presented us. We encourage you to embrace these opportunities and experiences also.

The Climb - Power Point Slides (pdf)
The Climb - Power Point Slides (pdf)
The Climb - Power Point Slides (pdf)

The Pacific Dragons 2013 Inspire Award in the Memory of Jenny Petterson - Glebe/Sydney and Dubrovnik/Croatia (Sat 03 Aug 2013)

Jenny - Suzhou / China (Tue 16 Nov 2004) Petar Hektorovic (*) - Tvrdalj Fortress (*) / Stari Grad (*) / Hvar (*) (Wed 31 Jul 2013)
First, a thank you..

Here we are in Dubrovnik.

Croatia, is just beautiful and the highlight has been a small courtyard in the small Fortress of the 16th Century Croatian Poet, Petar Hektorovic, in the tiny town of Stari Grad on the Island of Hvar, two hours by Ferry out of Split. Jo and I spread some of Jenny's ashes there and it was one of the most peaceful places (*) I have experienced and his words (*) seem quite relevant and profound.

We feel privileged and lucky to have the ability to make and have these experiences.

Caitlin, Lisa, Jo, Kaizer and myself have just competed at the 11th World DB Champs with the 2013 Australian Auroras Squad. It was a great event and we have some amazing memories.

The Hungarians have shown the world how to host a modern World Dragon Boat Championships, which have become carnival like because of their size.

It was also great to paddle on a course so rich in paddling history.

The highlight of the championships for me was watching Jo, carry the Australian Flag and leading the whole Australian Squad at the Opening Ceremony.

Joanne, Jenny would be so proud of you as we all are. A tribute (*) to Joanne and those those have supported her in paddling and life will follow the presentation.

On behalf of Caitlin, Lisa, Jo, Kaizer and myself, we thank you all for supporting us in paddling and life. Pacific Dragons provides the home and base which nurtures us as paddlers and people.

A little about Jenny now ..

Jenny said to me towards the end, when the destination of her disease became more real, that she would miss the travel adventures with us - no doubt in travels and in life.

It is just over 4 years ago that she said those words and it would be a few short months later she left this world.

She did not feel sorry for herself in saying those words. She always had a strong sense of reality about her life, her cancer and her purpose in life.

This was one of the inspiring traits I would take from her and one we can all take from her as we face the uncertainties which will become the certainties of our lives.

When she did die, I had already decided that I should live on in her "Afterglow". This was much easier to say than do and for a long time I thought my life purpose had been served and honoured.

Those early days were the hardest of my life and it would take a long time to find my confidence, to start living my life again. That there was a purpose. All I could really do was paddle. In some ways, it was during those days I found myself.

Jenny loved travel, a globe and atlas and it was no surprise that geography was her favourite class. Had she been born in earlier times, she would have a been great explorer - and without doubt, Captain Petterson, as I would call her, would have been an important name in our history books and classes, along with Columbus and Cook.

So, whenever we decided to travel, she was also the navigator, along with Jo, of course. With a sheet of paper and pen in hand, they would thumb through the atlas and rotate the globe charting our path and planning our itinerary.

Croatia was Jenny's choice for our Europe 2009 trip following the World DB Champs in Prague. However, she would not make it here, passing away 9 weeks before the Worlds.

We did not travel to Croatia in 2009. In the haze of grief and bereavement, I can't remember why now.

So for this 2013 Hungary Campaign, we decided that Croatia would be our first stop, in order to honour Jenny's wishes.

As it is with everything now, I feel a sense of guilt that I am alive and experiencing life and Jenny is not. That I am experiencing this trip, Szeged and in particular the Croatian coast and our current port Dubrovnik.

However, these feelings of guilt are balanced with the thought that she inspires us to continue our lives to the full, including creating these experiences. It is what she would want us to do.

Maybe in some ways I feel that when we meet again, I can tell her all the great things we have done.

So while there are feelings of guilt, I balance them with those of inspiration, intention, innocence, naviety and awe. In this way, a perspective on life can be found and along with a sense of empathy, it can give your life a solid foundation even during the toughest moments.

I talk about this because I have come to realise that others have or will have these moments and this is just one way, my way at least, to respond. This is life.

So to the 2013 Inspire Award ..

A common word used in all the presentations over years is the word "Belief". It seems to pop up all the time.

Last year I spoke a little about belief, in the sense that inspiring people seem to have a belief in themselves - we call it self-belief.

So I started to think about where does self belief come from?

I would find an answer a month after, via a blog post by Spencer Lum, a New York based wedding photographer, of all people. His words made it crystal clear to me. He wrote:

[..] if you’re willing to take a gamble, I’ll bet on you. If you’re willing to put it out there, if you’re willing to fail, if you’re willing to let go of it all, thumb your nose at the world, and do it your way, I’ll believe in you. [..]

"I’ll believe in you." Spencer wrote. There it was. The answer was so simple - self belief first comes from others who believe in you.

Often it takes some time to have the confidence to believe in one self. Initially, more often than not, the belief comes from others. Those who support and love you for who you are.

It is only with time, experience and the support of those others who believe in you, that you can find your own self belief and you start say things to yourself like

• yes, I can do that,


• you start finding reasons why you can, rather than you can't, and


• when you question yourself with "why?", you are able to say "well ,why not!"

It is then that things start to happen.

As time goes by, you become stronger, more independent and not afraid to give things a go, even if it means making mistakes and / or failing. You know that the risk is worth the reward of at least trying, whatever the outcome.

So what does this have to do with the 2013 Inspire Award?

The recipient of this award realised her own self-belief this year, initially through the support of her coaches and those that have paddled with her since joining the club.

Something happened this year for her. She had been making changes and steady improvements over the years, but she realised she needed to start believing in herself. It was a natural progression.

I was lucky enough to sit next her one week night dragon boat training session going into CNY. She trained strongly and between sets we chatted briefly. She told me that she needed to start believing in herself and that she was almost there. I was impressed. This is the stuff I had been thinking about.

The next weekend she made this very visible to her coaches, paddling buddies and most importantly, herself, by performing a stunning 4km OC1 time trial out of Dobroyd Point. This was the turning point, the starting point to self belief.

It was fantastic to witness that very moment.

I have seen it time and time again in our club. Coaches and others believing, paddlers changing and then suddenly something remarkable happens. They start believing in themselves. It is the great thing about our club and it is what I love about PDs.

So the 5th and 2013 recipient of the Inspire Award in the Memory of Jenny Petterson is Cath Gale.

A big congratulations to you Cath from Jo and myself. You are an inspiration.

Have a great night all. We will be thinking of you all and we look forward to getting back into it all on our return in late August.
Water - Courtyard Pond - Petar Hektorovic (*) - Tvrdalj Fortress (*) / Stari Grad (*) / Hvar (*) (Wed 31 Jul 2013) Incriptions - Petar Hektorovic (*) - Tvrdalj Fortress (*) / Stari Grad (*) / Hvar (*) (Wed 31 Jul 2013)

Photographer: Murray Fredericks

Murray Fredericks is an Australian Photographer. I was aware of him and his works from my foray into large format photography. I had bought a 4x5 inch large format camera in Shanghai in November 2004 (that's another story) and I needed to learn how to use it. Murray was offering a weekend workshop at a rural location in western NSW, near Oberon, and I had considered attending. With assistance of my friend Leigh Perry, I was able to work it all out and did not need to take Murray's workshop in the end. Some scans of my initial transparencies, by an Epson 4990 scanner, are here

I follow news regarding photography and photography exhibitions in Sydney - typically article written by Robert McFarlane who writes occasionally for the Sydney Morning Herald (just found he has a blog at ozphotoreview.blogspot.com). I have known of Murray since the time his work was exhibited at the Point Light Gallery in 2003. His initial SALT work was also reviewed by Robert McFarlane

When flying to Prague, on the flight to Prague from Helsinki on FinnAir, I was pleasantly surprised and delighted to read an English Newspaper (The Financial Times) that had a review of Murray's exhibition in London at the Hamiltons Gallery in Mayfair. I pulled out the page inflight and put it away with a mental note to make sure I would find the Gallery and view the Salt Exhibition when in London a few weeks later. Was very impressed to read that his photos were being compared to Turner paintings and that the largest and most expensive photo was being sold for 30,000 Pounds - pretty impressive for a humble landscape photographer who started his career as an Economist from Sydney University.

Blue Sky Thinking - Murray Fredericks - SALT II - A Newspaper Article found inflight between Helsinki and Prague - Sat 22 Aug 2009 - (picasa)
The day before the Great River Race, I had organised our seats on boats and I had time to do some sight seeing in London. I found the Gallery using Google Maps and made my way there on the Tube. I found the Gallery easily and chatted with the Gallery guy, who gave my a DVD of the SALT Documentary of his trip to Lake Eyre. Managed to sneak in a few photos before I left for the Photographers Gallery (yet another story), which was walking distance away (well maybe at least a couple hours rambling through the back streets of London).

Murray Fredericks: Salt Exhibition - Hamiltons Gallery / London - Fri 04 Sep 2009 (picasa)

Murray Fredericks: Salt Exhibition - Hamiltons Gallery / London - Fri 04 Sep 2009 (picasa)

Murray Fredericks: Salt Exhibition - Hamiltons Gallery / London - Fri 04 Sep 2009 (picasa)

SALT37 by Murray Fredericks - Sep 2009 (www.gosee.de)

Self Portrait in Lake Eyre - Hamiltons Gallery / London - Fri 04 Sep 2009 (picasa)
The ABC are showing his SALT Documentary tonight. There was a review in yesterdays Sydney Morning Herald titled - Searching for infinite space in extreme locations. An extract follows:

Murray Fredericks - Sydney Morning Herald 22 Mar 2010 - Searching for infinite space in extreme locations - Tue 23 Mar 2010 (picasa)
Having been "the guy with a camera" at high school who took pictures of sports teams, Fredericks was a serious photographer with commercial and artistic ambitions in his mid-twenties. He shot what he calls traditional coffee table-style photos until he realised he wanted more from his work.

"I reached the point where I went through everything and went 'there's nothing new here'. All I'm doing is finding new angles and new locations but the message itself - and the way the message is delivered - isn't changing'," he says.

"So I went through everything again and I thought 'which images affect me differently?' and they were the images that conveyed a sense of space."

That discovery has taken Fredericks 14 times to Lake Eyre in outback South Australia in the past six years. His aim was to photograph the flat salt plain with its low horizon and lack of distinctive features.

Hauling his gear to the location by bicycle, he spent up to five weeks by himself trying to capture the nothingness. And when things changed, he wanted to capture that too.

"Everything happens on the cusp, on the change,'' he says. ''It's the transition periods that are interesting because that's when the stuff you can't imagine or you can't expect happens."

Fredericks's shots of land and sky have proven so popular there are three galleries - in Sydney, Melbourne and London - waiting for his new work.

SALT 8 by Murray Fredericks

Found a nice review by Rebecca Wolkenstein who writes:

.. it wasn’t until I viewed his film SALT, that I decided my roster couldn’t live without him. The film and the work had a spiritual element I had never really understood before then. It sounds rather dramatic to be speaking this way, doesn’t it? When the film comes out [..], I highly recommend that you immerse yourself in the landscape. It’s full of surprises.

SALT 5 by Murray Fredericks

My friend Leigh Perry shoots very similar photos, but typically from the shore of Sydney's coastline - see his portfolios: Invariance and Peripheral Vision. Beautiful photos ..

Invariance #116011 - Reef by Leigh Perry

Invariance #332 - Lake. by Leigh Perry

On Life Purpose - Hands Clean - Alanis Morissette / Live from Abbey Road (YouTube)

Hands Clean - Alanis Morissette (*) / Live from Abbey Road Live (*) [Youtube (*)]
At the end of the first song Hands Clean (*), Alanis gives this amazing calm and lucid insight into fame and her life purpose. Here it is:

[On] Fame. At this point I would say that it is a planetary value - wealth, fame, power at the cost of everything else.

So I think that value being shared around the planet creates in people this thought that if I am famous, I will be happy.

And what I have come to see is that fame only amplified that which was there already.

So if I was depressed or I if I was insecure or if I was angry or whatever it was it just amplified it.

It made everything bigger and it did not sort of give, give me what it had been sort of purported to be able to give.

And so there was this great disillusionment.

[On Life Purpose] At this point in my life I am clearer that I share music because it is part of my life purpose.

To write it is, the act of writing it is for me and the act of sharing it is so that other people can make it their own - they can derive comfort, inspiration or whatever they want to derive from it.

So it becomes an offering of some kind and because of that I can do it and I can work really hard.

If I were singularly doing it to just be in the public eye for gratuitous reasons, than I would probably last about an hour.

This was recorded sometime in 2008, I am guessing. I saw it late one night on the ABC in February 2009 (*).

It was a rather random viewing and because I knew of Alanis' music, I decided to record her segment of the show on my PVR.

Over the ensuing months I would watch it repeatedly, often in the middle of the night, when Jenny had fallen into a deep sleep. I was mesmerised by Alanis' voice, the musicians that supported her and the live performance. In some ways this video takes me back to those last few months with Jenny and the sense of innocence (*) we all had with what we were about to confront (*).

Alanis' words, reflects the the depth of her experience and her delivery touched me back in 2009, and they touch me even more now because of the memories they evoke three years on, as well as her insights into life purpose, something that I have had to grapple with when you feel you have fulfilled your purpose in life.

This recording takes me back to those nights before Jenny's passing where I would watch this video safe in the comfort that she was in the next room, breathing and still with us.

Tonight, I have captured this part of my life here - I tried to add it to my blog back in early 2010, but it was too hard back then. For some reason it seems right to add it now, though I have not been able to fully explain here why. I just think it is amazing.

Auroras 2013 - Bank St / Sydney (Sun 07 Jul 2013

Auroras 2013 (1 of 3) - Bank St / Sydney (Sun 07 Jul 2013)
Auroras 2013 (2 of 3) - Senior B's - Bank St / Sydney (Sun 07 Jul 2013)Auroras 2013 (3 of 3) - Pacific Dragons - Bank St / Sydney (Sun 07 Jul 2013)
A beautiful sunny Sunday for our last Sunday training session here in Sydney. A bit cool under the Anzac Bridge before the session, but a cobalt blue sky for our session.

Thanks everyone. It has been a great campaign thus far. Safe travels and all the best for what it is about to unfold in Hungary.

Note to self. At this point in time I am reminded of this great little observation by Spencer Lum (*) from here (*):

The 90% point is deceptive. It feels like you’re nearly there. But you’re really just getting started. And if you don’t make the big push right then and there, you’re not doing the things you need to do to learn what you are really all about. It’s in the final 10% that all the good stuff happens.

Tracks - Mets-Willets Point Subway Station / Queens / New York (Sun 14 Aug 2011)

Tracks - Mets-Willets Point Subway Station / Queens / New York (Sun 14 Aug 2011)

Jenny - St George Private Hospital (11:48am Tue 23 Jun 2009)

Jenny - Two years ago, just now!! - St George Private Hospital (11:48am Tue 23 Jun 2009)
Another turning point
A fork stuck in the road

Time grabs you by the wrist
directs you where to go
So make the best of this test
and don't ask why
It's not a question
But a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time
of your life

So take the photographs
and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf
in good health and good time

Time of your Life by Green Day


The last photo I took of Jenny before her heart failed, about an hour later, while she was having her lunch. I have written briefly about it here:

• Angels on the Moon - Thriving Ivory (youtube)
  

There seemed to be so much hope as I took this photo.

For me, it was the hope that we could take her home (she had negotiated it to be Wed, so Jo and I could go to our Aus Dragon Boat training session that Tue night) and care for her until she quietly left us, like Jenny and Jo had done with Margaret, their mother, 10 years earlier.

It was not meant to be and it is amazing how quickly things can change and how you need to accept, adapt and let go to the circumstances which we are confronted with as we move through life.

It is in these moments that I came to fully understand the following words from Paulo Coehlo's novel, The Fifth Mountain (which I would read 6 months later):

Fear reaches only to the point where the unavoidable begins; from there on, it loses its meaning. And all we have left is the hope that we are making the right decision.

A story for another day.

For now, I remember Jenny and the final week of her life, that she spent in Intensive Care Unit of St George Private Hospital, before she left us on Tue 30 Jun 2009.

Postscript

Amazingly, about an hour after posting the above (maybe about the time Jenny's heart failed two years earlier), a post titled Regrets came through from Paulo Coelho. It is based on this post:

• Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware

It touchs on the time I had hoped for at home with Jenny and things we might have been able to talk about.

In the end, she left us very suddenly (and with much trauma - unlike her Mothers passing which was very peaceful and serene, if you can understand that) and we were not able to say goodbye.

I carry some of the regrets Bronnie mentions, but in the end I would like to think we lived a good life that allowed us to make the most of the time we had together.

The Cancer made us better people and we did live life to full - Do what you can, when you can. I would say. For Jenny, it was Don't Wonder 'What If?'. Every time we parted, I would say I love you and often many times in between.

One thing I know for sure, it is that through Jenny's life and passing, I have become a better person - I feel guilty about this in many ways, but at the same time I draw some comfort.

Time of Your Life - an amazing accoustic version - Green Day (youtube)

The Importance of Elsewhere - Philip Larkin

Sunrise - somewhere between Lourdes and Col de Portet d'Aspet / France (Wed 23 Sep 2009)

The Importance of Elsewhere by Philip Larkin:

Lonely in Ireland, since it was not home,
Strangeness made sense. The salt rebuff of speech,
Insisting so on difference, made me welcome:
Once that was recognised, we were in touch.

Their draughty streets, end-on to hills, the faint
Archaic smell of dockland, like a stable,
The herring-hawker's cry, dwindling, went
To prove me separate, not unworkable.

Living in England has no such excuse:
These are my customs and establishments
It would be much more serious to refuse.
Here no elsewhere underwrites my existence.

Referenced in The Importance of Here by Kathryn Heyman - Good Weekend (Sun 15 Jul 2006) posted here on Thu 10 Sep 2015.

Not exactly sure I feel the same release from who I am when away from home. If anything I regress more into myself to the point that I make sure I am oblvious to anyone. Admire people who have the confidence to be themselves wherever they are. It's a great quality to have and it certainly would make life a bit more comfortable.

I am who I am and there is not much point trying to be something, or hoping to be something, I am not. It's too hard and I worked that one out a long time ago, though I do try every now and then to push myself a little.

Song Writing - Struggle and Empathy - Tim Levinson - Spectrum (Sat 09 Mar 2013)

Primitive Markings #1- Swanston / Erskineville (Jan 2013)
Tim Levinson (*) talks to Bernard Zuel (*) on Empathy (*) and Struggle (*) in creating in song writing:

''Part of who I am is, I think, I can empathise (*),'' he says. ''I used to think it was the most normal thing in the world but I realise it's one of the qualities I've been left with, for better or for worse.

''In songwriting, quite often you either come from a point of view of struggle … whether that be heartbreak or circumstances. That allows you to write with conviction.

''For me, I have often seen little windows of that struggle (*) or that heartbreak and it gives me an access point I don't necessarily fully understand. I look at those little cracks of light that come through as an invitation to look into it more.''

via 'The best music is written with conviction' (*) by Bernard Zuel (*).

Primitive Markings #2 (Erasure) - Swanston / Erskineville (Feb 2013)

stay calm and go as hard as possible - Cadel Evans - Sydney Morning Herald (Sat 23 Jul 2011)

"All you have to do is stay calm and go as hard as possible" (*) - Cadel Evans - Sydney Morning Herald (Sat 23 Jul 2011)
From today's Sydney Morning Herald (*), Cadel Evans (*, *) told Rupert Guinness (*) before last nights epic stage:..

All you have to do is stay calm and go as hard as possible from the start to the finish. It's quite simple, [..]

You are only riding a bike from point A to point B, but in terms of technique there is so much in terms of pedalling and breathing, and there are the corners. Just concentrating and riding out beyond your limit is very taxing.

Cadel's pre-stage words were almost prophetic.

Brillant ride by Cadel last night. He had a mechanical (*) and did not panic or get upset (as most of Australia did). He worked out the problem, kept riding until his team car caught up with him. Unlike David Millar from a few years ago, Cadel gently dropped his old bike and quietly mounted his new bike and got on with the job. Inspiration stuff and a lesson to us all.

Cadel, is doing this on his own. No French or Spanish friends in the Peleton like the rest of them.

Love the transformation in your attitude Cadel. All the best for the Time Trial (*) - the Race of Truth (*) - tonight.

Go Cadel - you are on the Edge of Glory (*).


Random Recollections: Reminds me of the poster and a book I bought in Ealling, London back in Sep 2009 (I bought the book just after taking the photo of the Pink Bike - it's a classic book - had not laughed so much in a long time) ..

Keep Calm, Carry On Poster (*)

On Getting Better - Do More - Mike Young (Sat 01 Sep 2012)

point 1 - Newtown (Sat 25 Aug 2012)
Mike Young (*) writes (*)

If you want to get better at something do more of it.

Pretty simple really, but so hard to do, it would seem (*).

more .. point 1 - Newtown (Sat 25 Aug 2012)

Change [Inspiration] by Drew Ginn (11 Jun 2010)

Change by Drew Ginn (11 Jun 2007) ..

[..] Other influences have been other athletes and crews.

Some of the major shifts in perception I have experienced have come about from observing what others do.

At a critical point two athletes stood out to me more than even the guys like the Oarsome Foursome.

Richard Wearne and Rob Walker raced the pair for Australia in 1994 and 1995.

Through their performances in those years they brought the idea and the possibility of being able to mix it at the highest level in to sharp focus.

The reason for this was that when I came into the sport the likes of the Oarsome Foursome were already established and they commanded attention.

In the season of 94 I was an U23 athlete just starting out and during out domestic season I had the chance to race against Richard and Rob in small boats.

At the time they were not together in the pair but I can still remember vividly when they became selected as the pair and went on to race at the World and win the bronze medal.

I thought, wow look at what those guys did that was amazing, and I was racing against them here in Australia.

It blew my mind to think that they were that good.

To compete in the way they did and to challenge the best in the World in the pair was something that triggered inside me a sense of possibility.

I heard many stories about how they went from selection into training and how they changed from domestic athletes into international competitors.

They weren’t big like Redgrave and co. They weren’t as laid back and considered as talented like the Oarsome Foursome.

They were races and found a harmony in the boat that enabled them to fly in the pair. They took on the challenge and performed.

It showed the way for a new generation to follow. They bridged the gap that had formed behind the four.

What’s amazing was how after they broke through so many other athletes started to believe they could do it to.

The gap had finally been crossed. [..]

Another part (2nd of 3) from a Favourite Blog Post titled Change by Drew Ginn (11 Jun 2007).

The point of this is that we can be inspired and motivated by others (ignition as Dan Coyle calls it in the Talent Code). A few people have helped me Believe and have inspired me to achieve things I would never have considered possible.

I hope that others might also Believe that anything is possible if we believe and take up the challenges before us

Senior Mixed 500m Final - Prague/Day 4 - 29 Aug 2009

Video: Senior Mixed 500m Final - Prague/Day 4 - 29 Aug 2009

Premier Mixed 500m Final - Macau/China - Sat 31 Jul 2010
Premier Mixed 500m Final - Pacific Dragons - Lane 2 - Macau/China - Sat 31 Jul 2010

With Paul - Glebe Deli / Glebe Point Rd / Glebe (Sun 29 Jul 2012)

With Paul - Glebe Deli / Glebe Point Rd / Glebe (Sun 29 Jul 2012)
Bumped into Paul at the Glebe Deli last Sunday. Paddle with Paul at Pacific Dragon's Outriggers. I have know him since I started OC6 paddling in early 2005. We have raced many races together. He is an inspiration and a great friend to all in our club.

Paul had just finished what we call a "coffee run" OC6 training session. For me I decided to get some much needed sleep, so did not sign up for the session.

Some home made soup for Paul and a cappuccino to finish it off. For me just a flat white coffee. Took this with my iPhone so that explains the blurry nature of the photo.

Jenny - Glebe Point Road / Glebe (Sun 04 Feb 2001)

Jenny - Glebe Point Road / Glebe (Sun 04 Feb 2001)

My Genisis Photo - Bloody Gum - Royal National Park (Sun 28 Jan 2001)

Bloody Gum - Royal National Park (Sun 28 Jan 2001)
Chris Rainier (*) writes (*):

In every [photographer's] genesis (*) there is a point - an image - that we can look back on with the realisation that the photograph taken was a defining moment of internal creative clarity. My first image ...

... was the one above which I wrote about (*) just over three years ago (time does fly). It came from nowhere and was totally unexpected when I looked at it later on my monitor. It was at this point that I realised that photography was not only about capturing memories (*), which I have focused on a bit here lately. I learnt it could be about creating art, or at least creating something to look at and admire from out the ordinary and mundane. I love it and what photography can do a persons self worth and purpose. It has got me though some great times and more importantly some really hard times.

Where all the Good Stuff Happens - Spencer Lum (Tue 28 Aug 2012)

Last Training Session - Sydney 2012 Auroras - Bank St / Pyrmont (Sun 26 Aug 2012)
Spencer Lum (*) observes (*) that:

The 90% point is deceptive. It feels like you’re nearly there. But you’re really just getting started. And if you don’t make the big push right then and there, you’re not doing the things you need to do to learn what you are really all about. It’s in the final 10% that all the good stuff happens.

A Big Thank You to all the Sydney based 2012 Auroras. The training is now done here in Sydney, though the journey continues and the final push starts - Brisbane this weekend and Busan (*) / South Korea the following week. Enjoy the final phases of preparation.

I hope you find all the Good Stuff that comes with the sacrifices made and risks taken to get to this point.

Last Training Session - Sydney 2012 Auroras - Blackwattle Bay (Sun 26 Aug 2012)

On Photograph - It's Gift - Hilary Swift / Elijah Walker (Sat 01 Aug2015)

late winter afternwoon light - Alexandria (Sat 01 Aug 2015)

Hilary Swift on the Gift of Photogaphy:

It’s taken me places I would have never imagined going, and I have met so many wonderful people that I would not have met without Photogaphy. I get to wake up every day and if I’m really mad or sad, or any negative emotion, I love that photography gives me the option to find something so beautiful every day. It’s like I’m forced to find something beautiful and even if I’m photographing a sad situation, I’m trying to find the light in it.

via Turning Point: Hilary Swift by Elijah Walker.

On the Journey - Seth Godin (Fri 02 May 2014)

Pacific Dragons - 2014 AusDBF Dragon Boat Nationals - Kawana (Fri 18 Apr 2014)
Seth Godin (*) writes On Giving (*):

In the infinite game (*), though, something completely different is going on. In the infinite game, the point is to keep playing, not to win (*). In the infinite game, the journey (*) is all there is. And so, players in an infinite game never stop giving so they can take. [..]

You certainly know people who play this game, you may well have been touched (*) by them, inspired (*) by them and taught (*) by them. The wrong question to ask is, "but how do they win?" The right way to understand it is, "but is it worth playing?"

via The short game, the long game and the infinite game (*) by Seth Godin (*).

I see people like this in my club (*) and as is always the case, Seth is ever so right in his observations on life. And I know, by these experiences in my club (*), exactly what he means.