Stuck in a moment - place holder

A Warrior of Light often loses Heart ..

A Warrior of Light often loses heart.

He believes that nothing can stir him in the emotion he so desired. He is forced to spend many evenings and nights feeling that he is one of the vanquished, and nothing seems able to restore his enthusiasm.

His friends [and himself sometimes] say ‘Perhaps his fight is over.

The warrior feels pain and confusion when he hears[/feels] such remarks because he knows that he has not yet reached the place he wanted to reach. But he is stubborn and refuses to relinquish his aims.

Then, when he least expects it, a new door opens.

Clarity - My Island Home - Pau Power and Christine Anu (22 Jan 2019)

One for the timeline ..

Missed this performance of 'My Island Home' at last years Commonwealth Games Opening Ceremony. Just popped up randomly after listening to an Artificial Intelligence Lecture - thanks YouTube, a machine learning recommendation system algorithm hard at work. The original and the various versions I have heard always give me goose bumps.

Moving around a few times from one end of the state to the other and back somewhere else at the other end, in my youth, I don't really feel I have a home town. Not in the sense that many feel. Somehow 'My Island Home' reminds me, and gives me an identity along with a relationship to the place I feel fortunate to call home - the place I live, share and experience life.

A song, its music and words give it meaning, emotion and feeling. Additionally we have the various performances, be it live, on TV, online or from a playlist on your phone. Again, just like a photo, a performance gives you a sense of time and place (memories I guess) ..

I remember seeing Christine and her partner play 'My Island Home' as buskers in the Pitt Street Mall in the lead up to the Sydney 2000 Olympics. An unforgettable and mesmerising performance by Christine on top of a huge silver globe during the Closing Ceremony of the Sydney Olympics. At the last minute I included a beautiful acoustic version at Jenny's Funeral as the song to mark the end of the service. I will never forget the first notes of the guitar, you could hear a pin drop and there was a clarity of feeling I have never felt before or after - in that moment it marked an end and a difficult but sure beginning. I felt it somehow expressed our new separate physical paths, Jenny's journey giving her a new path and home, as well as Jo and my own first steps in our new journey in life without her. Always brings a small tear to my eye when I think about it for more than a little bit. There was also a sense and clarity that we have to live fulfilling and meaningful lives and not to be burdened by sadness. We owe this to them all and it is a responsibility we all share ..

'My Island Home' gives me the same feelings I experience when flying in over Botany Bay in the rising sun light from the numerous long overseas trips over the last 30 years. You look out and you see the blue of the sky, and down, you see the beautiful blue of the Botany Bay water contrasted with the sand around its edges, the rippled banks and gutters underneath. You are reminded of the clarity of light and colour we take for granted here - you have not seen it anything near it while you were away and somehow it is forgotten until just then looking out the window. With it comes another clarity, the clarity of the feeling that this is my home, a home so far from the rest of the world and my ancestors. In those moments I look down and I wonder how did this place I am looking at become my home. I think of my ancestors, particularly those that made that first 6 month journey here in a leaky boat (another song for another day :-)) in the mid-1800's. I always wonder what made them come here and what they felt when first sighting the Sydney Heads, the gateway to Sydney and a new life. I was lucky enough to paddle around this very point, the entrance to their new home, this morning. We saw the sun rise with a clarity most of us had not seen before and as I paddled I heard various chatter between my friends as we paddled - I knew what they were talking about without hearing the exact words - we all saw and felt it. And in this rising sun I was reminded with clarity of how lucky I am to be living this life, in this time, in this place with my family and friends - 'Our Island Home' ..

[ After 4 years, just bought a new phone. This version of 'My Island Home' (love the hip-hop bit from Mau Power) is the first song on it :-) ]

The Wheel of Life - Vivian Maier / Tintin Törncrantz (Thu 09 Jun 2016)

Statues - White Rabbit Gallery / Chippendale (Sat 11 Jun 2016)

Vivian Maier on The Wheel of Life:

We have to make room for other people. It’s a wheel – you get on, you go to the end, and someone else has the same opportunity to go to the end, and so on, and somebody else takes their place. There’s nothing new under the sun.

via Spain : Miss Maier by Tintin Törncrantz - The Eye of Photography by Tintin Törncrantz.

Photography - Adam DeBrosse (Sun 05 Jun 2016)

Smile - Coffs Harbour (Sun 05 Jun 2016)

Adam DeBrosse on Photography:

The essence of photography is putting yourself in the right place, taking advantage of the opportunities that you’re in to take a photo

via Photographer Nolan Isozaki inspired by the pretty and the gritty by Kayla Hausmann.

Australia - Tim Winton (Sun 08 May 2016)

Joanne - Mount Ohlssen Bagge / Wilpena (Wed 13 Apr 2016)

Tim Winton on Australia:

[Australia is] a place where there is more landscape than culture… Everything we do... is still overborne and underwritten by the seething tumult of nature

via Island Home by Tim Winton review – a love song to Australia and a cry to save it by Katharine Norbury.

Influence - Maggie Barrett (Sat 06 Feb 2016)

Untitled - Port Augusta (Sun 10 Apr 2016)

Maggie Barrett on Influence:

Only by living in other cultures amid other languages can we fully understand how much we are formed and influenced by the place in which we grew up.

via SLIP STREAM by Maggie Barrett.

On Embracing the Present - Thai Nguyen (Tue 15 Dec 2015)

Pacific Dragons - Thanks to Caitlin for the Photo - SIRC / Penrith (Sun 13 Dec 2015)

Thai Nguyen on Embracing the Present:

There’s no point dwelling in the past and letting it define you, nor getting lost and anxious about the future. But in the present moment, you’re in the field of possibility - how you engage with the present moment will direct your life.

via 10 Powerful Life Lessons from The Alchemist by Thai Nguyen.

Never a better place to embrace the present, than the moments before, during and after a Dragon Boat race.

On Sadness, Joy and Curiosity - Maggie Barrett (Mon 12 Oct 2015)

Spirited Away - Perisher Valley (Mon 24 Jun 2002)

Maggie Barrett on Sadness, Joy and Curiosity:

I am banishing sadness to its rightful place in the corner of the soul.

Instead, I invite joy and curiosity: 2 states that so often go hand in hand.

via Embrace Yourself by Maggie Barrett.

Can’t help myself. Such beautifully written words.

Knowing you, knowing me - Urbanbites / King Street / Newtown (Sun 29 Nov 2015)

Knowing you, knowing me - Urbanbites / King Street / Newtown (Sun 29 Nov 2015)

Up early for a big day. Decide to go get a coffee, but the local coffee shops wont be open until 8am, so decide to go up to the coffee shop you lived in for the first six months after Jenny's passing. It was frequented many times in the subsequent years and many fond memories with family, friends and mostly, myself, in my thoughts that the place nurtured. If I could write, I could write a book about the place and what I felt and experienced there. Many of the early blog posts implicitly encapsulate this, so I am glad to have made the effort.

It is over 12 months since I have been here and when I arrived just after 7 this morning, I sat and noticed the small changes that a prolonged separation facilitates and makes so obvious. I noticed the staff. Many were the same, which says a lot for the place which becomes incredibly busy later in the day and night.

I am served by a young waiter I know by face. He has been here for as long as I can remember. We don't know each others names but we know each enough to know each other even after 12 months of not seeing or even thinking each other.

You are touched when he remembers to ask before I can say what he is just about to say "large flat white?". "Thanks, that would be perfect" I said, "you remembered". He smiled and then proceeded on his way to make sure my coffee arrived to please me as best he could.

This is the second time in a week you have experienced something like this. And you wonder how and why?

You've walked through life trying your hardest not to be noticed, for that is where a shy person finds refuge and comfort. However, it's moments like this that make you realise that you do exist and in some ways touch people. Maybe it is because you touch people by just being there in the corner, trying your hardest to not be noticed ...

"Knowing you, knowing me" as the ABBA Classic goes ..

On Change - The Story of Telling (Mon 02 Nov 2015)

Jenny and Geoff - Cape Leveque / Western Australia (Tue 08 May 2001)

The Story of Telling on Change:

the most important driver of change is the willingness to make it happen

via The Opportunity Equation (02 Nov 2015) by The Story of Telling (Berndatte Jiwa).

Most times change is optional - you do or don't do something about it and it is a theme that has appeared here many times over the last 6.5 years. Sometimes change is foisted upon you without choice and often without notice. Again it is up to to you decide whether to do something about it - to become a victim or a survivor. Or you can just try to ignore it somehow, but it will always catch up with you, so this is not a great option. Often it is best to take a little timeout to acknowledge the change, if you can. Ultimately, it is up to you to make the difficult steps to keep moving forward from the place you landed.

On Art - Streetshooter (Mon 21 Sep 2015)

Red, Yellow and Blue - Chippendale (Tue 22 Sep 2015)

Streetshooter on Art:

The beauty of art is, we are all in the same boat in the same place and yet those true to heart see things differently and attempt to make their art more of themselves then of and for anyone else.

via Streets of Philadelphia … A Visual Diary … Page 20 … Street …Finding Your Way by Streetshooter.

On The Importance of Here - Kathryn Heyman / The Good Weekend (Sat 15 Jul 2006)

The Importance of Here by Kathryn Heyman - Good Weekend (Sun 15 Jul 2006)

Kathryn Heyman on Hiraeth:

In Welsh, the word is hiraeth. Deeper than homesickness, it translates roughly as an intense longing for place, a desire for home which goes far beyond the desire for family or recognisable rituals. It is the pain of physical dislocation, of being, quite simply, in the wrong landscape.

via The Importance of Here by Kathryn Heyman.

On a Moment - Just Being There - Joel Meyerowitz (Tue 25 Aug 2015)

Street Art - Chippen Lane #2 / Chippendale (Wed 01 Jul 2015)

Joel Meyerowitz writes beautifully on a Moment:

These simple moments are precious, no attitude, no becoming something she is not. She's just there, rooted to the earth, part of the spirit of the place.

via Contadina by Joel Meyerowitz.

On Doors and Windows - Anne Whiston Spirn / The Eye is a Door (2014)

A Door, A Window - Alexandria (Wed 19 Aug 2015)

Anne Whiston Spirn on Doors and Windows:

Why a door and not a window? A window is something to look through, but a doorway is to pass through; crossing a threshold, one enters a new place. To see, to really see, is to open a door. To pass through that door is to arrive at a new understanding.

via Pick up a camera and use it to see, think, and discover (pdf) by Anne Whiston Spirn.

On Going Back - The Passage of Time - Joel Meyerowitz (Sun 09 Aug 2015)

200 Year Timeline (photo.net) - Circular Quay / Sydney (Wed 16 Jul 2003) Sunset in the Sails - Circular Quay / Sydney (Sun 09 Aug 2015)

Joel Meyerowitz on Photography:

it's the going back that counts.

via Ordinary Places by Joel Meyerowitz.

I would have to say Circular Quay is not an ordinary place, based on the throng of tourists and locals down at the Quay yesterday.

It was a magnificent sun soaked winters day afternoon, with thousands of people enjoying the light, space and atmosphere of the nautical gateway to the City, at the footsteps of the Sydney Opera House.

We were in town for a Birthday Lunch for Janice who we lost in April . The lunch at Customs House was spectacular, not only for the view and food, but the company of Janice's immediate family. Janice would have loved it. And that we were all there together, remembering her.

Afterwards, we strolled around the Quay, through The Rocks, under the Sydney Harbour Bridge and back. As we strolled past the Bounty, I was reminded of my 2003 photo above (along with my photo.net post made back then) and made a similar photo as the sunset.

Looking at the scene yesterday and the photos now, what surprised me was that after 12 years, how similar the two scenes were. At the macro level, the Bounty and the Opera House, appear identical, but I am sure when I look closely, there will be micro changes representing maintenance and technological progress that 12 years brings.

With these two photos, also comes the change in my "vision", my cameras (Canon IXUS S100 then and Canon S120 now, and a few in between) and words. As they say, "same same, but different". The difference probably being my experience in photography and life. In many ways, the camara is now an extension of my hand, I know what it sees and it knows what I feel through the resulting photos it exposes and brings to my life and this world. I am constantly and pleasantly surprised by the power of photography and what it reveals to me.

The two photos represent a passage of time in themselves and my implied meaning assigned to the Jul 2003 photo, along with my words at photo.net back then. Together now, the two photos above, represent the passage of 12 years of time in my own life where everything has changed so much.

So pleased we went back and I now have these photos and memories. Without the photos, the motivation to make them and assigning some connection to them, these memories and thoughts would most likley be lost.

As always, thanks Joel Meyerowitz. I never know where a thought and a few well chosen words will take me.

Jo, Patricia, Fabian, David, Pam, Gavin and Geoff - Customs House Forecourt / Circular Quay (Sun 09 Aug 2015)

Tagliatelle Bolognese 101 and The Known Unknown - Alexandria (Fri 17Jul 2015)

Plated Up - Fuel and Courage for 35km paddle tomorrow - Alexandria (Fri 17 Jul 2015)

Now we know what Pluto looks like after knowingly not knowing for quite a while now (a great read about the significance of this here at ribbonfarm ). So on a slight less significant level, here is what I know now, that I did not knowingly know back 13 months ago...

Just on 13 months ago I found a passion for cooking. A new kitchen and a little help from Michelle and I was on my way. One of the dishes Michelle suggested was a spaghetti bolognese.

I thought that would be an easy start, so went to Google to find a recipe, as you do. This is the one I liked the most from all the ones I read back then:

• Spaghetti bolognese recipe: Italian chefs show world the correct way

I liked the authenticity of ingredients, the correctness and approval from Bologna - a place we were heading to on the way to the World Club Crews in Ravenna a few months later.

I have cooked this recipe almost every second week for a year now. And all modesty aside (you know me), the one I cooked this last Monday was perfecto, with a hand and fingers rising from my mouth.

Indeed the recipe looked simple and my first efforts did not excit me that much and I thought to myself where was I going wrong? I have learnt that a recipe is just a starting point and that to make it work and indeed, great, like anything in life, you have to experiment, listen and learn from others, take risks, knowingly or unknowingly.

These are just some of the things I have learnt:

• I tried different ingredients from different places and found the best ones.


• Brown onions are much better than white onions, they help give you a nice brown sauce.


• Finely cut the carrots and celery rather than coarsely cut - a lot of experimenting to work that one out. Your preference might be different, but finely cut works best for me.


• The cheaper the cans of tinned diced tomatoes are, the better they are.


• A couple of diced real tomatoes add so much to a couple of cheap tins of diced tomatoes.


• You need a good can openner.


• Best mince is not the best for a bolognese and that a 50-50 combination of best mince and normal mince is best - a little fat goes a long way in taste and texture. I found this one out by mistake, as my usual and preferred butcher had virtually run out of best mince that day, so I topped it up with the normal mince.


• Browning and slightly burning the Pancetta on the pan base, also adds a browness and richness to the sauce. Just keep stirring it into the olive oil as you are browning it.


• Only add the red wine (and again cheaper the better) after the mince has been browned. Then make sure to take the time to boil it down without a lid until 30% has boiled away.


• As suggested in the article, a big thick pasta like tagliatelle is best. Beats spaghetti and even fettuccine by a long way.


• A little olive oil in the pasta makes it less sticky and easy to handle when serving up (Thanks to Darren and his Mum for that one).

It has taken 13 months to work all this out and I am so pleased with what I have learnt. Feel like I could enter World Bolognese Champs mentioned in the article and give it pretty good shake.

So as New Horizons speeds past Pluto into the outer Solar System and beyond, to make more of the unknown known, I will continue my quest to know more, master and perfect what I don't already know about Tagliatelle Bolognese 101.

Ready to Go - Alexandria (Mon 13 Jul 2015)

Simmeringly Good - Alexandria (Mon 13 Jul 2015)

All done... - Alexandria (Fri 17 Jul 2015)

On Suffering, Sorrow and a Way Forward - Cheryl Strayed / Marie Popova (Tue 15 Jun 2015)

Hands - St George Private Hospital (Sun 28 Jun 2009)

Cheryl Strayed on Suffering, Sorrow and a Way Forward:

we all suffer and we all need to find light in that darkness, strength in that weakness. [..]

you can have a happier life if you think positively in the face of profound sorrow. [..]

I trust that there’s some intuitive place within me that’s driving me forward.

via The Subterranean River of Emotion: Cheryl Strayed on Writing, the Art of Living with Opposing Truths, and the Three Ancient Motifs in All Great Storytelling by Marie Popova.

I know what these words mean - I have lived and felt them and they are how I have chosen to live my Life. And, it is a choice.

On Humility - Notes to Inspire (Thu 02 Jul 2015)

Trees splashed across a Water Canvas - Canberra (Sun 05 Aug 2002)

Notes to Inspire on Humility:

When we feel humiliated the best reaction is humility.

via Archive: Notes to Inspire by Notes to Inspire.

Good advice for someone who has spent his whole life feeling guilty about being alive, about his good fortune in life, to have felt the things he has felt, to have been to the places he has been, to have seen what he has seen - to have experienced life the way he has and hopes to have. Maybe these thoughts of guilt show a humility that I had not recognised in myself and that I should not feel guilty about that (guilt - it's an endless loop, you see :-)). It just might show a humbleness and a clarity of purpose on a life being well lived.

Not sure where these words came from and again they might appear a little self-indulgent for a so-called humble person. I love it when a few well crafted words, like those above by Notes to Inspire, take you on a small journey to a place you didn't even know a few minutes earlier. Thanks Notes to Inspire, I appreciate your daily emails and Words of Wisdom.

On Despair - I Wrote this for You / Iain S. Thomas (Mon 30 Jul 2012)

Self Portrait - Despair - Jerrabomberra Creek / Canberra (Sat 12 Mar 2005)

Iain S. Thomas on Despair:

Appreciate every moment of happiness and remember it when you despair. Hold them close. And when you are happy, remember the moments of despair and think to yourself, "I told you so."

The First Day On Earth by Iain S. Thomas.

Before Tim did what he did, I'm pretty sure I did not know what Despair meant. When we left Canberra the day after we said Goodbye, we went to the place he decided to leave us. When I took this photo of myself, this is when I finally understood what Despair meant - it's written all across my face. And more importantly, I found out what it felt. A hard way to learn the meaning of a word. This is Life and we take from it what we can to make us stronger and more resilient.