The Climb - Our Main Range Summit Challenge

The Climb - The Main Range Range Summit Challenge

Dragons Abreast Ausrtralia Seminar
Cancer Council Queensland
Tuesday 31st August, 2010

Next is a little story that covers another aspect of Jenny’s Life – our annual trip to the Snowy Mountains and our Main Range Mt Kosciuszko Summit Challenge.

The Colorado Trail is just short of 500 miles in length. Doug Miller spent a summer (approximately 60 days) hiking the trail. In August 2009 he was diagnosed with Cancer.

A few months into his journey with Cancer, he wrote about the lessons he had learnt on the Colorado Trail and how they paralleled the lessons learnt on his journey with Cancer.

I read his story a few months after Jenny had passed away. It resonated with me and I could relate to it, in particular the following quote:

"A single step repeated hundreds and thousands of times would see us eventually arrive at the end.

It did not take superhuman strength or a talent that most do not have. It took a steadfast commitment.

Step by step, the miles added up and the challenges slipped by. Today just like those days on the trail, is another step.

Tomorrow is yet another.

I walk this journey in anticipation of the end, but I also know that there is much to learn in the process.

It is the process, no matter what the hardship where great beauty and adventure can be found."

Doug Miller on the Colorado Trail
Around New Year, for the last 11 years we have travelled to the Snowy Mountains area, around Perisher Valley and Jindabyne, to get away from the holiday crowds, to relax and take in the sights of the Snowy Mountains.

Each year we would also take the opportunity to challenge ourselves to the 22km Main Range Summit walk, to not only witness the beauty of the mountains, but to test ourselves and to benchmark our fitness to the previous year’s effort. This was particularly important for Jenny as she, and we also, could see what effect her cancer and treatment was having on her physical body, for the previous 12 months.

Some years were easy, while others were more challenging, particularly the long and steep uphill leg from the Blue Lake to the Summit of Mt Kosciuszko.

One of the more difficult years for Jenny was January 2008 when a side-effect from one her treatments, which caused soreness and tenderness of her feet (Hand-Foot Syndrome), made it very difficult for her to walk even a few steps. This did not stop her and she did the 22km walk, one painful step at a time. We were so proud of her, though, in typical Jenny style she thought it to be nothing unusual or out of the ordinary.

On the first day of 2009, we did the Main Range walk, for what would turn out to be our last time together. While temperatures in Sydney were the typical balmy 30's, the weather in the Mountains had turned and there was a wind chill factor of minus 15 C. This was our last chance to do the walk. We had tried a day earlier, but were not prepared for the cold. This time we were prepared, with Jenny and Joanne wearing seven layers, as well as beanies and gloves. We decided to at least walk the first 6 km to the Blue Lake and make a decision there whether to continue on for the next 16km or return.

For all of us, the conditions were challenging. However, for Jenny there were extra challenges which revolved around dealing with the many issues relating to her cancer, the most obvious for this higher altitude challenge, being the tumors in her lungs. Little did we know at that stage the cramping in her stomach she had experienced over the previous month or so, would be the early signs of countless tumors in her liver, which would be diagnosed in early March 2009. On top that, was also the embryonic stages of a tumor in her brain, which would manifest itself as a 4cm tumor in early June 2009.

This was definitely the most difficult Main Range challenge for us all, Jenny in particular. She was short of breath, even on the small downhill sections. As we reached the Blue Lake, we rested quite a while and we left it up to Jenny to decide what we should do. Eventually, she said she felt she could do it, so off we nervously set, in very strong head winds, to the Summit. We stopped at Lake Albina on the way.

Every step was a struggle for Jenny and she did amazingly well to make it to the Summit of Mt Kosciuszko. As usual we would take our Summit top photos - this time there was no one there (usually there would be 20-30 people) as we had taken twice as long as normal and we had reached the Summit hours after everyone had headed back to their starting points.

When I read the little story from where the leading quote comes from, I thought of Jenny initially, and later Joanne and myself.

I think it has helped me understand, that we were not only doing this walk each year (with each year being a "step") for the beauty and physical challenge of the Mountains, but also for the beauty that can be found in the "process" of doing something like this each year.

It also helped me appreciate Jenny’s approach to life, her journey with cancer and how she embraced it to live a wonderful and fulfilling life, and to achieve her dreams.

I think it also helps me appreciate the difficult "steps" that Joanne and I take each day, without Jenny's physical presence in our lives - but knowing we are "getting on with life" with the support of our family and friends, and knowing many great experiences and adventures lay ahead for us and those in our lives.

We did the Main Range Summit walk this year, on the 1 Jan 2010 (more here). Jenny was with us every step of the way.

Just another little story of perseverance and determination from Jenny. Jenny guides and inspires us from above.

In closing, we would like to take the opportunity to thank Dragons Abreast. It has provided many opportunities for Jenny, Joanne and I. We are grateful for the experiences in life Dragons Abreast has presented us. We encourage you to embrace these opportunities and experiences also.

The Climb - Power Point Slides (pdf)
The Climb - Power Point Slides (pdf)
The Climb - Power Point Slides (pdf)

"That is my life story up until now" - Remembering Jenny (Mon 06 Jul 2009)

The cackle of a Laughing Kookaburra announces the first light of dawn as the sun rose on that cold winters day. With no sleep that night preparing for Jenny's Funeral later in the day, I penned these words to honour Jenny's Life at her Funeral. Six and half years later, looking back at what came out in those last few hours, I am happy. What strikes me most is how I chose to "reflect on the little things". And they are what I miss most. Here it is ..

Jennifer Joy Petterson
24 Mar 1962 - 30 Jun 2009
Age 47 years 3 months and 6 days

"That is my life story up until now."

This is how Jenny ended her "Autobiography" written in 5th class (being 1972). I always enjoyed reading this lengthy account (it had 3 three parts) of Jenny's life up to the age of 10. I loved this story and scanned the original into my computer so that I could read it during a quiet moment at work.

Jenny was the eldest identical twin daughter of Norm and Margaret Petterson of Holt Road, Sylvania. With feet eagerly pressing on Jenny's back at the birth, a younger sister followed 5 minutes after Jenny's arrival. This was her identical twin sister Joanne. She was ready to play and from that time on they were inseparable. On the day of their birth Jenny writes there was a fete at the hospital. Jenny would always tell me that Norm bought a wind up koala at the fete that played music. For some reason she did not write this

The Autobiography, even at the age of 10, shows that Jenny had an eye for detail, as this quote reveals.

"At the age of 4 years and 10 months and 15 days we started school and cried when mummy left us."

It documents many facts and figures - birth weights and lengths, when they first walked, where they holidayed and details such as the colour of the caravans they stayed in - all well recorded for prosperity.

They participated in many sporting activities (which has been a constant throughout Jenny's life) - swimming, physie, jazz ballet, and little athletics, to mention a few.

Furthermore, she recalls the date of their first hair cut. - and even allowing me to determine that her first tooth fell out on my 7th birthday .

More generally what can be summarized from the autobiography is that Jenny had a fun filled, active childhood with her sister Joie and friends, which was encouraged and fostered by their loving parents.

Even as babies there seemed to be an order to things and this became even more apparent once they started to talk (yes that date is also recorded). In Part 1 of Jenny's Autobiography:

"One the 3rd Oct 1964 we had our first haircut and Joie said, 'Denny First', meaning Jenny first".

Jenny even then was a stabilizing influence on Joanne.

As stated above Jenny finishes her "Autobiography" with:

"That is my life story up until now."

Obviously she looks forward to the future and how she will fit into the world as she grows up. In recent years these words struck a chord with me. Today, these words have even greater meaning.

Jenny and Jo progressed to Sylvania High. They started part time work at Grace Bros’, Miranda Fair. Jo in "Cosmetics and Womens Clothing" and Jenny in "Hardware and Gardening" - "Same, Same but Different". I often asked Jenny to recall these days and I would get a kick when she could still recite the cost codes of power tools and various hardware items. The attention for detail was paying off out in the real world!!

During high school, the Girls ramped up their sporting activities and started to focus on Athletics, Cross Country Running and also a bit of Tennis. Interestingly enough, Jo and I would have crossed paths at the CHS State Cross Country Championships held at Hurlstone Ag College in 1977.

They also found time to also progress from Brownies to Girl Guides. Musters and camps were attended and they both rose quickly though the ranks to Patrol Leaders, finally achieving the highest rank of Queen's Guide with presentation of the award by the Governor of NSW, Sir Rodden Cuttler.

School and High School Certificates were sat and good grades recorded in all subjects. Geography was Jenny's favourite - definitely an early sign of a future "Travel Bug". She loved a map and an atlas, and this remained another constant throughout her life.

Successful Grades accomplished in the HSC saw the Girls accepted into the Bachelor of Business at UTS.

Following interviews the Girls accepted Business/Administration cadetships with the Electricity Commission of NSW. Our lives crossed similar paths again, as I had the same Interviewer for my successful application for an Engineering Cadetship. We were now working for the same company - be it 12,000 people.

Group assignments were the norm at UTS and they always found it easier if the group consisted of two members - more specifically themselves. Minimizing traveling, they were on the same wavelength, which provided for a consistent approach to completing the assignment just in time.

At work, as was the case during their school days at Sylvania, Jenny and Jo made many friends. There were lots of "Work Outings" with friends from [Work and] Uni.

Being at an age to travel independently, they made many "trips away". These were always well documented with many photographs taken, always with people in them (themselves typical) and some local landmark behind.

Jenny documents in a 1995 twin survey that they had traveled overseas on 13 occasions, as well as numerous holidays in Australia.

At work Jenny was provided with early work experiences, mainly in Purchasing (there were lots of cost codes to remember there). Jenny then pursued a career in Internal Audit, specializing in large mainframe computer systems and business systems. This was the days before PC's. Joanne followed a more traditional path into financial and management accounting. As PC progresses throughout the organization, there were now many PC Id numbers to remember.

All kinds of sporting activities were tried and some pursued more than others. The main sport would then become Touch Football, participating in three separate competitions each week. Also they found the water and learnt to row single and double sculls, as well as 4's and 8's.

Through a combined interest in running, Jenny and I crossed paths in organising our company's participation in the inaugural Corporate Games held in Nov 1989. I can remember the first time we met and I how I was instantly attracted to her smile, blue eyes and lovely [nature]. On the [day of the Games] I realized that Jenny was an identical twin. We all had a great day.

Afterwards, I often thought of Jenny and a few months later out of the blue, she arranged to give me a team photo from the day and then asked me to partner her to a wedding. I was stunned. We agreed to go out on 30th March 1990 before the wedding in order to get to know each other better. We had dinner and saw a movie. She then showed me photo albums of her travels late into the night - it just seemed so easy to listen and talk to her and even then I hoped that she we would be the one for me. I could not believe she was interested in me. After a month we were going out and a 10 year courtship ensued.

During this time many milestones and life changing experiences occurred. The Girls completed their Masters [in Finance at UTS], Norm (their father) passed away suddenly in hospital, on [Tue 0]2 Jun 1992.

In late Mar 1997 Jenny was diagnosed with breast cancer and a mastectomy followed a few weeks later. She returned to work and got on with her life. On New Years Eve 1997, Margaret (their mother) was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Margaret was referred to Jodi as her Oncologist and numerous chemo courses followed. The Girls would attend all consultations with her. Around the same time Jenny's cancer recurred in the scar tissue of the mastectomy. This is when Jodi also became Jenny's Oncologist. Now Margaret and Jenny were having chemo at the same time.

Through a cancer course at Royal Nth Shore, Jenny found Barbara (now Sister Suscila) and that's where they found meditation and a natural/spiritual approach to healing. Around this time Jenny also joined the Sutherland Shire Cancer Support Group which was facilitated by Liz, a social worker with Calvary.

Stong relationships were established and developed with Jodi, Suscila and Liz and though each of their own skill sets and support networks helped influence Jenny's approach and ensuing journey with cancer. I believe they helped Jenny to embrace her cancer and to live life to the full.

Unfortunately Margaret's cancer was quite advanced and spread quickly. Jodi saw in Jenny and Joanne a strength of character and asked them to care palliatively for Margaret at home, while she would make house calls. This has been Jenny and Jo's greatest gift in life, caring for their mother at home for 8 weeks (Jenny was still having her chemo at this time) until Margaret succumbed to her cancer on 28 April 1999 (her wedding anniversary).

Jenny's breast cancer spread to her lungs and in late 1999 scans revealed 10 tumors. A hormone therapy treatment started. Jenny and Jo traveled to visit Suscila in Alice Springs and visited Uluru for the Millennium. Jenny would recall later that she had an amazing experience lying in the red desert sand at the foot of Uluru.

Shortly after her return from Uluru we became engaged and we set about organizing our wedding in just 10 weeks. The big day being the 30th April 2000. What a day. We sang “Song of Joy”. We exchanged vows and rings and then kissed as Husband and Wife. At the reception we made toasts, spoke and danced the night away. A rainbow theme being the unifying element with rainbow inspired flowers, ribbons, cake, speeches and songs. We honeymooned on Lord Howe and shortly after our return Jenny retired from work to pursue her passions (on Jodi's suggestion).

At the Sydney Olympics later that year we must have held the record for the most sessions attended - handball becoming our favourite. We had many fond and inspiring memories from the whole event.

At that time, just over 9 years ago, we had no idea how long we would have together. This did not stop us and we tried to live a normal life with goals set for six months at a time. Holidays were planned and taken - a trip to the Cook Islands to visit Susila over Xmas 2000, a 4 week trip to North West Australia in May 2001 and a return to Lord Howe in Oct 2001 so Joanne and my Mother could share the experience.

Another constant was our annual trip to Mt Kosciusko for a benchmarking 22km walk around the Main Range. This year was her hardest effort – but she did it. Maybe it was a sign of things to come.

In late 2000 I bought a small digital camera to document our travels and lives. I did not know how much time we would have share and the camera gave me some comfort that I could capture our memories.

Jenny's cancer was ever persistent and there was always something going on - radiation, more chemo, hormone injections or tablets and numerous operations - we could watch “House” and could easily relate to the medical terms.

Through one of her chemo treatments, Jenny found a Dragons Abreast flyer at the hospital. This would be start of the biggest change in our lives. Jenny and Joanne took to paddling like "ducks to water" and I found myself photographing them and the dragon boats that they trained and raced. It gave them opportunities to travel wide and far. Our holidays were now planned around Dragon Boat regattas locally and internationally.

Jo would make the NSW and Australian Team to Poland in 2003. Jenny was held back by a course of chemo and numerous trips to the hospital. She still remained involved by videoing the teams at time trials at Penrith.

In 2004 she would make the NSW Team and compete for her country in the World Championships in Shanghai. There could not have been a prouder person when Joanne's Premier Mixed Team won a bronze medal in the 500m race.

During the 2004 Shanghai campaign Jenny’s journey was captured by an Australian Story episode titled "In the Pink". She was nervous participant and a little uncertain about how it would be scripted and received. We all nervously awaited its airing on that June long weekend Monday - unaware as to its content. The episode captured the essence of the Dragons Abreast Movement in Australia, showing all sides to cancer and it's impact - positive and negative.

The episode would popularize Dragons Abreast Australia beyond it's creators wildest dreams. Clubs quickly popped up everywhere across the country and continue to do so. Meanwhile, Jenny and Joanne would become the most well known (yet most humble) paddlers in Australia.

Others today have told of Jenny's inspiring feats on the water and there is no need for me to repeat them. She just loved to paddle and found great comfort amongst her paddling colleagues. It provided a sense of normality to her life and she just seem to fit in, even with compression sleeve on her right arm or the missing hair on her head which was always discreetly hidden by a colourful selection of bandana's.

Jenny empowered many people (with and without) cancer to pursue their dreams. She will live on through Joanne and I and no doubt many others from her inspiring journey. Thinking of Jenny will help influence our decisions and motivate us to achieve our dreams and to decide what is right.

I will miss hearing you breath as you slept. I will miss calling out “I love you” as I leave for work each day. Whistling at the front door when I got home and hearing you whistle back. You were the most amazing thing to happen in my life I am having trouble comprehending the way forward. You provided me with love and gave me hope and life purpose. I would always say to Jenny “I am the lucky one”.

A couple of quotes from her regular talks and Australian Story follow and I think there is something there to inspire us all. No matter the circumstance.

“Cancer is something that people do not expect to happen to them and no matter who is diagnosed, and at whatever time in their life, it is a shock which has huge ramifications for not only the person involved but also their family and friends. It takes a lot of adjustment to get used to.”

“I feel I am so lucky and have a wonderful life. I have had some great opportunities through breast cancer to meet some very inspiring people. Geoff and Jo have been a constant source of support for me. Breast cancer has totally changed my life but for the best.”

“I don't understand how things work out, and why things work out the way they do. I feel like I've been lucky. I don't understand how cancer works, I don't know why I've been blessed the way I have been.”

“It's just in the lap of the gods.”

Enjoy your new “Island Home” and those that surround you [there]. You know that “We’ll be There” and we know that “You’ll be There”.

As we said to each other before we nodded off each night .. Jenny:

“Good Night, God Bless, I Love You.”

"That is my life story up until now."

Photo Project - Erika Diettes (Fri 27 May 2016)

tree - South Cronulla (Sat 30 Apr 2016)

Erika Diettes on Photo Project:

have perseverance to complete the project, and always be open to new opportunities that may arise along the way. Often the most important and definitive elements of a work are those that we will find in the search for the initial idea. No great work is the result of a moment of inspiration. I would dare say that great works are the result of much study, research, technical mastery, discipline, obsession and - above all - are an exercise in resistance.

via How to Start a Project: Erika Diettes by fototazo.

2013 Auroras Senior B Selection Squad - Lotus Bay / Canberra (Fri 21 Dec - Sun 23 Dec 2012)

2013 Auroras Senior B Selection Squad - Lotus Bay / Canberra (Sun 23 Dec 2012) 2013 Auroras Senior B Selection Squad (Left Crop) - Lotus Bay / Canberra (Sun 23 Dec 2012) 2013 Auroras Senior B Selection Squad (Right Crop) - Lotus Bay / Canberra (Sun 23 Dec 2012)
Note to self. A personal guide for the Campaign and beyond ..

A few photos and words from my heart following the 2013 Auroras Senior B Selection Camp in Canberra from 21-23 Dec 2012.

Congratulations to all that put themselves forward for selection for the 2013 Auroras Senior B Dragon Boat Squad which will participate at the World Dragon Boat Championships in Szeged, Hungary in late July 2013.

Putting yourself up for selection and having dreams, hopes and goals is always a risky business as they can all be dashed in a moment.

For those whose journey for this campaign ended at the selection camp, you have my admiration and respect. My heart goes out to you, but I also know that there are future opportunities and with a plan, determination and perseverance you can achieve everything you want out of paddling and life. We have a number of role models in this regard and I encourage you to follow their lead. The camp will have given you perspective and a path forward to realising all your dreams and goals. It's a decision you make and it is all in your hands.

For those successful in selection, I congratulate you and I feel your elation in the trust the coaches have given us to represent Australia as the 2013 Auroras Senior B World Championship Dragon Boat Squad.

I thank those from the 2011 Auroras Squad (*) who have come back to give it another go. Your experience will be invaluable as we all learnt so much about ourselves, the importance of teamwork and what it is to compete on the world stage against the best the world has to offer.

The competition is intense and goals are achieved through your commitment to the training programme; trust in yourself, your team mates, managers and coaches.

Having done a few campaigns now, my advice is to savior every moment of the campaign. There can be feelings of elation, disappointment and every emotion in between. That is the nature of paddling at this level and I have learnt it is how we handle and respond to these emotions, that will mould who we are and who we will become. You have to an awareness of yourself and those around you - to be emotionally strong not only for yourself, but more importantly for the team, since our sport is the true essence of team work.

There are few words that stick in my mind from all my experiences in paddling and life. They are Trust, Belief and Risk.

Trust - Trust yourselves, your team mates, your managers and coaches. Remember the first time you stood in dragon boat in the standup paddle drill at the selection camp. Serge and Blair would not have asked us to do this if they thought we could not do it. They trusted us, as we trusted them. I saw no hesitation from either side. This is the kind of trust we need to find, particularly when we are uncertain. We just need to go with it and it will happen.

Belief (*) - You have to believe in yourself, and your supporters in paddling and in life. Most importantly you have to believe in the campaign, the process, your team mates, managers and coaches. I find this quote (*) gives me perspective, understanding and strength:

If you believe, you are stronger and the light will shine on you.

Risk - by getting to this point, we have all proved we are not averse to taking a risk or two. At this level, the stakes and emotions are heightened. There are risks all round as we step into the unknown to compete against the best in the world. We have control of many things and this is our focus, but there are others things which we don't, for as you see, I have learnt there is an underlying randomness to it all. This is where adaptability comes in, as we respond in a measured and considered way to the random events that are tossed our way and that which we may confront. Take nothing for granted, success is not attained easily. Often, time and persistence is required.

Finally, be prepared to let go of everything you know and to start from zero (*). It would take me a long time to learn this one and it only came to me in Busan (*) at the 2012 Asian Dragon Boat Championships in Sep 2012. Ask Paul Langley as we learnt this together in the Mixed 10's (*). I became the paddler and person I always wanted to be on that hot sunny day in Busan.

We have an amazing blend of enthusiasm, hardened experience and raw newness at this level. Focus on what you can control, trust and believe and the rest will look after itself. I feel privileged to share this experience with you and look forward to what lays ahead.

2013 Auroras Grand Masters Selection Squad Camp - Lotus Bay / Canberra (Fri 21 Dec - Sat 23 Dec 2012)

On Belief - Mick Rogers (Tue 22 Jul 2014)

A new day - Somewhere between Lourdes and Col de Portet d'Aspet / France (Wed 23 Sep 2009)
Mick Rogers (*) on Believing (*):

I used to be afraid of failure (*), but once you believe (*), and you’re not scared (*) of the outcome, things become clearer (*), and opportunities (*) arise.

via Rogers makes it two for Tinkoff (*) by Matthew Beaudin (*).

Congrats Mick. An amazing stage win. Thanks for sharing so much of your victory and what you have learnt about yourself this year. I started my journey (*) on learning many of the same lessons (*) on the very roads (*) you cycled last night.

At Fabio Casartelli's Memorial - "we stumbled upon it by complete accident" – Col de Portet d'Aspet (Wed 23 Sep 2009)

I feel I am so lucky and have a wonderful life .. Jenny P

Jenny would often say how lucky she was to have experienced life with cancer. Indeed, it was how she finished her talks ..

I feel I am so lucky and have a wonderful life. I have had some great opportunities through breast cancer to meet some very inspiring people. Geoff and Jo have been a constant source of support for me. Breast cancer has totally changed my life but for the best.

Seems to be common sentiment, though definitely not universal, amongst some people who have been told they have Cancer. We feel lucky to have shared Jenny's journey in life with her Cancer. I will explore this a little here over the next few weeks.

Joanne, Jenny and Geoff - Paddling on Fitzroy Island Far Nth Qld - 26 March 2009

Joanne and Jenny - Paddling on Fitzroy Island Far Nth Qld - 26 March 2009

Part of our "Little Paddle" around Fitzroy Island Far Nth Qld - 26 March 2009

Two Years Ago Today - Sat 29 Aug 2009

Sitting on a Bus half between Montreal and Toronto, as I was booking our accommodation for the next 4 nights, I realise the date.

It is 29 Aug 2011, and it is exactly 2 years to the day that we won the 500m Senior A Mixed Final in Prague.
 
World Champs - Australian Senior Mixed 500m Team - "As I came across the line I glanced upward and I pointed to the heavens" Lance A – Prague/Racice - Day 4 - 29 Aug 2009
As I think back to those moments and the two years that have followed, I have many emotions. I look at the photos of myself and I can't even comprehend how I was even there paddling after barely 10 weeks since Jenny's passing. I also think of the time between then and now, and I try to comprehend what I have been through to be here now. As I look to the future, I really have no idea what is next. Anyway, I try not to think about that too much and just try to be the best I can with what I have been given.

Geoff - post 200m Senior Open Final "letting go" - Racice/Prague 2009 - 28 Aug 2009 (picasa)
It is hard for me to even explain that day. I have tried here a few times (*). I am grateful (*) for the experience and feel lucky that I was on the boat that day.

I have been trying to find an appropriate Warrior of Light passage to mark this moment. Maybe the following is appropriate. I know my own failings and I would like to think that I live life with Faith, Hope and Love ..

A warrior of light knows his own faults. But he also knows his qualities.

Some of his companions complain all the time that

'other people have more opportunities than we do'.

Perhaps they are right, but a warrior does not allow himself to be paralysed by this; he tries to make the most of his virtues.

He knows that the gazelle's power lies in its strong legs. The power of the seagull lies in the accuracy with which it can spear a fish. He has learned that the  reason the tiger does not fear the hyena is because he is aware of his own strength.

He tries to establish what he can truly rely on. And he always checks that he carries three things with him:

faith, hope and love.

If these three things are there, he does not hesitate to go forward.

from Paulo Coelho's - 'The Manual of the Warrior Light'.

Is Suffering a Private Matter? by Cath Duncan (Wed 16 Feb 2011)

Beautiful Day by U2 (Boston 2001)
You've been all over
And it's been all over you

You're on the road
But you've got no destination

Reach me
I know I'm not a hopeless case

What you don't have you don't need it now
What you don't know you can feel it somehow

Beautiful Day by U2


Some times you stumble across a post that takes your breath away. This one did for me:

• Is Suffering a Private Matter? by Cath Duncan (16 Feb 2011)

It captures much of what I have felt, thought or had to consider during the last 21 Months and it does feel a bit like the Beautiful Day lyrics above, particularly:

You've been all over
And it's been all over you

Here are the dot points from the article:

Grief needs to be expressed in some way – either privately or with witnesses, in order to heal. [..]

Some people say that suffering is a private matter because..

• It’s important to avoid embarrassment and rejection by your tribe


• It’s important to protect the parts of yourself that are most vulnerable


• It’s important to protect other people from pain


• It’s important to take your pain to “professionals” who know how to deal with it


• During grieving, it’s important to tune out external influences and tune into your own inner wisdom


• It’s important not to focus on your suffering in a public way because what you focus on grows

[..]

On the other hand, some people say that suffering can be more easily negotiated when it’s out in the open because:

• Keeping your suffering private engenders self-judgment, shame, loneliness and pain


• Sharing your suffering brings people together


• Sharing your suffering facilitates healing


• Sharing your suffering promotes resilience – in yourself and others

[..] the benefits of sharing your suffering with empathic people are incredibly powerful! It’s scary to share about our suffering, but I don’t want to miss out on such powerful benefits and opportunities for healing!

Have come a long way since the first day of the rest of my life back on Wed 01 Jul 2009. Thought I would capture a photo just now so that I can remember this day, which also just happens to be the 21st Anniversary since the first time that Jenny and I went out to dinner together and to see a Movie Look Who's Talking.

Geoff - 21 Months Down the Track - Alexandria (0:16am Wed 30 Mar 2011)
Geoff - "an early start for the first day of the rest of my life - 'where do you start?'" - Alexandria - 7am Wed 01 Jul 2009 (picasa)

Beautiful Day Lyrics

The heart is a bloom
Shoots up through the stony ground
There's no room
No space to rent in this town

You're out of luck
And the reason that you had to care
The traffic is stuck
And you're not moving anywhere

You thought you'd found a friend
To take you out of this place
Someone you could lend a hand
In return for grace

It's a beautiful day
Sky falls, you feel like
It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away

You're on the road
But you've got no destination
You're in the mud
In the maze of her imagination

You love this town
Even if that doesn't ring true
You've been all over
And it's been all over you

It's a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
It's a beautiful day

Touch me
Take me to that other place
Teach me
I know I'm not a hopeless case

See the world in green and blue
See China right in front of you
See the canyons broken by cloud
See the tuna fleets clearing the sea out
See the Bedouin fires at night
See the oil fields at first light
And see the bird with a leaf in her mouth
After the flood all the colors came out

It was a beautiful day
Don't let it get away
Beautiful day

Touch me
Take me to that other place
Reach me
I know I'm not a hopeless case

What you don't have you don't need it now
What you don't know you can feel it somehow
What you don't have you don't need it now
Don't need it now
Was a beautiful day

What's in a race plan? by Drew Ginn

What's in a race plan? by Drew Ginn (Wed 31 Oct 2007)

[..] What I have come to realise is that we only really use a race plan as a framework, it is like our template to bring us together in the way we will approach the racing we do.

What we don't do is put our confidence in our race plan to be the defining element of our rowing.

I have always felt that getting a good start was important because it sets up the race. This does not mean that it is the only thing but it is easier to control things from in front.

When it's close after 500m the thing that is wonderful about that is that it creates an intensity about the middle stages of the race.

Competitive instinct can bring our the best and worst in everyone.

So then a race plan is the thread that runs through our performance.

It's a framework the enables a crew to understand what's required and where.

We use a plan that we believe gets us in to a position that we can use as a platform.

The idea of it being a thread which you have key moments to hang, place, perform based on your decisions the rowing that will bring it all to life.

Every stage can result in an expanded thread which stands out in the field and like wise each of the key moment can result in a contraction that is a narrowing of options and is visible as a performance begins to fade and become lost back in the field.

We have in our minds key point of a race where certain things can take place, certain opportunities realised.

The race plan should keep your options open which is exciting and creates anticipation and is a great source of energy.

On the other hand a poorly conceived, ill considered and unrealistic plan can have an effect in opposition to every athletes desires. [..]

Another favourite blog post from Drew Ginn. Seems related to yesterdays post on Pacing Strategy.

M2- Final at Rowing World Championships, Munich, 01/09/07

A Photographers Lament - - Matt Weber (Oct 2011)

Blurry Cats - Flatiron District - New York (Wed 17 Aug 2011)
A fantastic interview (*) with Matt Weber (*) over at the equally great Street Reverb [magazine] (*) Street Photography web site.

I can relate to many of Matt's insights (*) into photographing on the street.

Having already posted about photography related regrets (*), the following quote caught my eye...

Regrets of missed opportunities have plagued me, but also helped me greatly. I can lament a missed shot for a very long time, if I think it may have been epic. Those type of shots are far and few between.

In order to spare myself the self inflicted torture which follows missing a potentially great photograph, I’ve learned three things from my mistakes.

• Never leave home without your camera. Never do it!


• Always keep at least one extra roll of film, or these days an extra battery and CF card I suppose.


• Lastly, don’t hesitate when you see something fantastic.

Fear and or embarrassment, has cost me a handful of images which I’m certain would have been very important to me. It’s hard to block out emotions sometimes, but if you want to be a “Nice Guy” and never upset a soul, you’ll be better off doing something else.

Having just returned from Matt's hometown of New York (*) and reading his story (*) inspired me to post the DGK series of photos (*) and explain what I was thinking as I took the photos. It is great when someone like Matt talks about and shares their photography insights as well as their own photographic trials and tribulations.

Also I'm a big believer in learning from mistakes (*).

So much to learn from and to be inspired by - thanks Matt Weber (*) and Bryan Formhals (* of Street Reverb [magazine] (*)

Picasa Contact Sheets (*) (3 of 4) - Canon G10 - New York (Thu 18 Aug 2011)

Using the Past - Some Advice from Ken Burns, Vern Gambetta and LottieP

The following three quotes are about the past and future, and how we might relate them to each other (if that makes any sense). There is some good advice in all three quotes and I thought that I put them here for future reference, so that they will become part of my past :-). Here they are:

As you pursue your goals in life, that is to say your future, pursue your past. Let it be your guide. Insist on having a past and then you will have a future.
Ken Burns - 2004 Commencement Yale Class Day Speech (as pdf)

Vern Gambetta wisely adds:

Be careful that you are not living in the past, learn from the past, use it as a reference point.

And finally, LottieP warns:

"nostalgia is the enemy of the future"

With the past in mind I thought I would dig into archive.org and drag out something from my past (it might explain the where eljeiffel came from). Here it is:

elj.com (Eiffel Liberty): Two Years On .. by Geoff Eldridge (04 Jul 1999)

Today is Indepedence Day in the USA which celebrates the 223rd birthday, being founded on 4 Jul 1776, with the signing of the Declaration of Independence. This also represents a time of reflection for myself with elj.com (Eiffel Liberty).

It is two years ago since I registered elj.com. The name Eiffel Liberty was easy to come up with. It represented a vision and a hope for Eiffel that somehow it might be liberated from its miserable place in the language landscape (I thought how could such a great contribution, be so categorically and overwhelmingly dismissed by the programming community). Also, Emma Lazarus's words struck a chord with me, particularly

Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost, to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!

Just as America provided opportunity for many from other lands, I thought Eiffel could provide the same kind of opportunities for the syntactically and semantically battered from the other language landscapes :-)

Also, the name Eiffel Liberty made what a I thought was a nice connection between two famous landmarks that Gustave Eiffel had contributed to, being the Eiffel Tower and the Statue of Liberty "Eiffel undertook the challenge of creating the steel structure because of the enormous challenge it afforded him".

The 4 Jul 1997 was to be the launch date for the Eiffel Liberty Journal. However, I came down with a very bad cold (too many late nights preparing for the initial launch) and I decided to publish the launch issue of the Eiffel Liberty Journal, not from my newly acquired elj.com but from my progsoc web pages (this would remain the case for another six months).

It was fun putting together the first issue as I received cooperation from all I contacted. These included:

• Bertrand Meyer who allowed to me publish some small extracts from OOSC2.



• John Potter (my Software Engineering Lecturer who introduced me to Eiffel in the spring of 1993) who specially wrote an article on
  Project Bruce: Translating from Eiffel to Java



• Victor Putz who wrote a great article titled Toymakers and tools: Why one game developer is switching to Eiffel. Victor is a game programmer by night and a helicopter pilot/instructor by day. I remember Victor making a special trip (about 30 km each way) to send me the article because of flooding in his area which made his normal internet access impossible. BTW, I have found that Victor shares and
  articulates (much better than I ever could) my own vision for Eiffel.

Also Bertrand Meyer's classic newsgroup posting from early May 97, Avoiding the second historic mistake (I remember Bertrand once referring to this as collective hypnosis :-) gave the opportunity to publish a few articles from the newsgroup thread that ensued - eg Jeffrey Stulin's If Eiffel is so great, why isn't it popular? and Thomas Beale's Eiffel: An Industry Experience.

I was delighted when Bjarne Stroustrup allowed me to publish Why C++ is not just an Object-Oriented Programming Language and Melier Page Jones allowed me to publish Object Orientation: Making the Transition

Two years on, elj.com has changed from a random journal to a daily random news update covering the Eiffel and related worlds. In many ways elj.com is really just a log of the links and resources I have stumbled across and that I might learn from (or even get a laugh from).

Eiffel certainly enjoys a wider exposure than it did back in 1997. I hope elj.com has helped in a small way. It is hard tell what impact elj.com has had as there is little feedback. However, occasionally I do get a note saying that elj.com helped someone get started with Eiffel, which seems to make it all worthwhile. I guess elj.com could have been much more effective but there is only so much time.

For a number of reasons I renamed Eiffel Liberty to elj.com Extraordinarily Large Jumble in Feb 99 (some of the reasoning behind this was that elj.com was and still is, an Extraordinarily Large Jumble of seemingly random links and more significantly there was little or no Eiffel news). Fortunately, there now appears to be more Eiffel news than I can handle/report manually and I am making efforts to address this through a more automated Eiffel news feed at elj-daily.

elj.com has amassed an incredible amount of links, quotes and resources relating to Eiffel and related worlds. The time has come for elj.com to be able to extract the information from this mass. A keyword/search facility is on the way.

I believe that for [open source] projects to thrive, information needs to readily at hand. I hope the new elj.com that you will see over the coming weeks/months (depends on how much time I get to work on this) will reflect the ability to provide this information efficiently and effectively.

Finally, I would like to acknowledge the support that Jenny has given me over the last few years. She has had to cope (in more ways than one) with more than anyone should reasonably have to tolerate.

Funny to read this after all these years. Shows how strongly I felt about the Eiffel programming language and method (and still do, but not just as visible). I even chose to start this blog with some posts on Eiffel - not the language, but it's inspiration, the Eiffel Tower and it's creator, Gustave Eiffel.

I had better stop here as I think I might be getting a bit nostalgic. Anyway, hoping all of this might help me find the inspiration to get a future project off the ground.

On Goal Setting - Making our Bests Even Better - Adam van Koeverden (Sat 30 Jun 2012)

Joanne, Jenny and Geoff - 2009 State Titles / SIRC / Penrith (Sat 21 Mar 2009)
On Goal Setting, Adam van Koeverden (*) writes (*):

my goal is always the same.

I just want to race my very best.

I want to cross the finish line knowing that I couldn’t have gone any faster.

I want to be sure my tank is totally empty, that I executed a perfect race with great, efficient technique and made all these thousands of kilometers in training worthwhile.

That’s why we train so hard, to make our bests even better.

[ I wrote the following late last Sat Night after observing the 3rd Anniversary of Jenny's passing. I decided at the time not to post it, but I figured I need to stop worrying about what people might think of my writings here. This is from my heart and I hope it shows. We are lucky to be doing what we are doing and I am thankful the opportunities and experiences that we make for each other. ]

Today we fly out to Hong Kong for the 2012 World Club Crew Dragon Boat Championships which start on Wednesday and finish on Sunday. This will be my 9th International Event and the third with my Club. So here are a few Thank You's and Observations.

Hong Kong has been a long term goal for many people in the Club. We virtually have everyone going, so to me that indicates we are a unified group that believes in and supports each other. This is true essence of a strong Team and being a Team Player.

It has been fantastic for us to train with purpose and intent with full crews for the last 11 weeks or so.

With a handful of our paddlers flying out yesterday, Thursday night was our last full strength session of the campaign - I was a little sad as we paddled in at end of the session, knowing that it will be a long time before we will train, as a Club, as we have during this Campaign.

I thank my coaches and team mates for their dedication to the Campaign.

The logistics of the campaign have been handled seamlessly and brilliantly from where I sit. Those involved know who they are and I thank them for their amazing job. To organise 60 or so people is no mean feat. Well done.

We have been coached brilliantly and we have trained hard on and off water. The squad is our strongest to participate at a World Club Crews since our first in Penang in 2008.

I hope for many, your goal for Hong Kong is to go and create a fantastic experience for yourself and ourselves. We are creating memories to last a life time.

For some it will be their first International event, while for others, it will another of many. We can all inspire and learn from each other no matter who we are.

There will be different experiences for each one of us and how we respond to them defines who we are and who we will become. Some things will go our/your way and others will not. There is a randomness to it all. There will be feelings of elation, disappointment and every emotion in between. This is what Dragon Boating is all about and big international events like this can magnify these emotions and their impact. My experience (and I have felt it all) and advice with all of this is to be mindful of others and to remember the Sport and our Club is based on the spirit of team work.

I can say that I go with an open heart and mind. For Jo and I, Jenny guides and inspires us from above and she is there for every stroke and moment along the way.

Finally, have fun and in the spirit of Adam's words above, lets put our best races on the water and make our bests even better, no matter what Team you are in. That would be just reward to all for the effort and sacrifice we (and our Families and Friends) have made to able to participate in our sport, against the best in the world, at such a high level event.

Go the Mighty PD's.

Pacific Dragons - State Titles - International Regatta Centre / Penrith (Sun 11 Mar 2012)
Pacific Dragons 500m Mixed - 2012 AUSDBF National Titles - Docklands / Melbourne (Mon 02 Apr 2012)
Pacific Dragons 2km Mixed - 2012 AUSDBF National Titles - Docklands / Melbourne (Tue 03 Apr 2012)

Photography - Adam DeBrosse (Sun 05 Jun 2016)

Smile - Coffs Harbour (Sun 05 Jun 2016)

Adam DeBrosse on Photography:

The essence of photography is putting yourself in the right place, taking advantage of the opportunities that you’re in to take a photo

via Photographer Nolan Isozaki inspired by the pretty and the gritty by Kayla Hausmann.

Portrait - Ferry - Trogir to Split (Thu 01 Aug 2013)

Portrait - Ferry / Trogir to Split (Thu 01 Aug 2013)
Our small ferry that got us back to Split after a lovely day in Trogir was crowded and we had to stand on the back.

The wind had changed direction from the morning trip and we had the most magnificent downwind conditions I have ever seen. Wish I had my OC1 here. We would have been flying.

Lots of opportunities for close up photos in such confined space and this is one I like. Always attracted to red hair and it always catches my eye. I also like her contemplative look - she looked so calm and reassured. The little girl behind and to the right adds something extra to the scene. Very happy with this photo.

On Grand Designs - Kevin McCleod / The Australian (Sat 12 May 2012)

Just Sketching - Me Pretending to be an Architect - Concept #102
On Grand Designs (*) - Kevin McCleod / The Australian (Sat 12 May 2012) ..

I think the strength of the show lies in its lyrical qualities: building your own home is one of the last big adventures you can go on.

Spent a lot of time mucking around to understand the space, it's strengths, weaknesses, opportunities and constraints. Looking forward to seeing what Kerry (*) can do with it (*).

Pacific Dragons Fundraising Cheque Presentation to the SSCSG - Miranda / Sutherland Shire (Tue 13 Dec 2011)

Today, Jo and I attended the Sutherland Shire Cancer Support Group's (*) - SSCSG - Christmas Party. It was the 16th time we have attended the Party, and it is the 3rd time since Jenny's passing

We were honoured to present to Liz Swanbury, a Social Worker from Calvary Hospital (*) and Group Co-ordinator, a cheque to the value of $1,113, on behalf of Pacific Dragon's Dragon and Outrigging Canoe Club (*).

The SSCSG was formed in 1993 to help people whose lives have been touched by cancer. For the 2009/2010 and 2010/2011 paddling seasons, the SSCSG was Pacific Dragon's Fundraising Charity.

Jo, Debra, Liz and Geoff (R to L) - Pacific Dragon's Fundraising Cheque Presentation to the SSCSG - Miranda / Sutherland Shire (Tue 13 Dec 2011)
Jenny (Jo's Identical Twin Sister and my Wife) was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in March 1996 and she lived a full and active life with the disease up until shortly before her passing on Tue 30 Jun 2009.

Jo and Jenny - Glebe Point Road / Glebe (Sun 04 Feb 2001)
Jenny found the SSCSG early on in her shared life with cancer and it became a constant in her life, just as the paddling would when she found it in January 2001. Jenny looked forward to and attended the weekly Tuesday morning meetings of the Group.

Petria King Workshop (*) and the SSCSG - Quest for Life (*) - Bundanoon (Tue 23 Mar 2005)
Pacific Dragons Women's Team (Jenny with her blue head scarf front right) - Penang / Malaysia (Sun 04 Aug 2008)
Jenny met many amazing people at the Group and she (as well as Jo and I) learnt much about cancer, it's treatment and progression. It showed her and us how to live and ultimately, about how to die.

A few months after Jenny's passing Lisa asked me to write a few words about the SSCSG and what it meant to Jenny. At the time I struggled to find the words. They were there, I just could not write them down coherently. So Lisa kindly and gently quizzed and probed me at the Shed after an OC6 session one night. From my ramblings she was able to write the following which was used in support of the SSCSG being Pacific Dragon's Charity for the 2009/2010, and as it would turn out, the 2010/2011, paddling seasons ..

Geoff tells me that this group was important to Jenny because it taught her about the cancer she was living with, including providing opportunities to attend programs to learn about the importance of good food, positive attitudes, meditation and loving support.

She got to spend time and form friendships with people going through the same thing, volunteered with the group to raise a huge amount of money for cancer research and support through Daffodil Day and Relay for Life, and it also helped her prepare herself for the time when the disease would take her from us.

Jenny also became an important role model for the group, inspiring them through her support and the way she chose to live her own life.

Each year at this celebration, the Group remembers those members who lost their lives to their cancers, and related illnesses, during the year. This is done by Liz reading the name of the lost member and then Debra (one of the leaders of the Group) striking a bell. This year four names were read and the Bell struck after each name.

Jo, Jenny and Geoff - SSCSG Christmas Party - Miranda (Tue 16 Dec 2008)
Over the years when Jenny was with us, when the Bell rung, I always felt lucky that we had another year together. Today, as always, Jo and I would remember how we heard Liz read Jenny's name and Debra's Bell ring at the December 2009 Christmas Party. We miss her dearly and she is remembered fondly by many.

Jo and I thank Pacific Dragons for their generosity and support of the SSCSG. Jenny would be touched by your kindness.

Jenny - St George Private Hospital (11:48am Tue 23 Jun 2009)