On Heart and Soul - Streetshooter (Wed 26 Aug 2015)

Yarn Heart - A Heart of Orange - Chippendale (Fri 28 Aug 2015)

Streetshooter on Heart and Soul:

The heart and soul live in your work

via STREETS OF PHILADELPHIA … A VISUAL DIARY … PAGE 14 by Streetshooter.

Yarn Heart - A Heart of Orange - Chippendale (Fri 28 Aug 2015)

On a Heavy Heart - I Wrote this for You / Iain S. Thomas (Mon 25 May 2015)

Self Portrait - Alexandria (Mon 01 Jun 2015)

I Wrote this for You on Heart:

If you carry someone in your heart for too long, it will become heavy..

via The Sky Has Weight by I Wrote this for You (Iain S. Thomas.

Nothing the matter with a heavy heart. At least you know you have a heart and that's all you need to live, to be grateful for what you had and to be happy just for that. I realised this a long time ago and it is how I choose to live my life. Today, the first cold day of winter, it shone through a little brighter than normal.

On Photography - The Eye, Heart and Mind - Streetshooter (Sat 15 Feb 2014)

Heart - Amsterdam (Tue 20 Aug 2013)
Streetshooter (*) writes On Photography (*):

There exist many photos out there waiting to be born. Within those photos lives many that are just beautiful images that are for you to add to the definition of your self. If you can’t find them it is your fault and not theirs. If you focus on your Eye (*), Heart (*) and mind (*) then out there are those photos waiting for you. If you don’t focus on your Eye, Heart and Mind, those images are still out there but you won’t find them because someone else will..

via February 15th, 2014 ….. Defining The Self Thru Your Photos ….. Part 3 (*) by Streetshooter (*).

A Heart of Bronze, A Heart of Stone - Tim Winton / Intelligent Life Magazine (May/June 2015)

Bella [1] - Fremantle (Sun 19 Apr 2015)

Tim Winton on Humane and Heart:

there was a quality to it I later recognised as humane. I didn’t just take shelter from it; I took heart.

via SPURNED NO LONGER by Tim Winton.

And so she was and so I did.

[1] Bella - Inscription "The freedom to be who you are and to enjoy what is!" - Sculpture by Greg James.

On Life Purpose - Niña Terol (Wed 23 Jul 2003)

Listen to your heart - Erskineville (Sep 2012)
Niña Terol (*) writes (*) on Life Purpose (*):

Paulo Coelho says, "To realize one's destiny is a person's only obligation."

I'm not fatalistic, and I still believe that we make our choices. Nothing is pre-destined to the point where we're no longer required to act on anything. But I believe that signs guide us to the right path, so that we can achieve our dreams sooner.

These signs are found within us, in the stillness of our hearts, in the deepest recesses of our being.

To actually see them, and recognize them for what they are, we have to clear ourselves of all doubts, fears, and worries. We've got to remove the trappings that stay stuck inside us. We've got to know who we really are and what we're really meant to do. It's a painful task, but it will be even more painful to go through life not knowing our life's purpose, our life's worth.

Listen to your heart. Just try.

(I've always been a mind-over-heart person, but the moment I listened to my heart everything just fell into place. "When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.")

From Paulo Coelho-isms (Dedicated to my friend, Ellen Joy) (*) via Five Years in Paulo Coelho’s blog (*) and Five Years in Paulo Coelho’s blog (*).

Stumbled across this today. Funny how things work out. Here is a photo from around the initial post was made. Always puts a smile on my face.

Smile - Jenny after a long Chemo Session that day - Kogarah (Jul 2003)

Need Your Love - Temper Trap / Studio Session / YouTube

Need Your Love (*) - Temper Trap (*) (Fri 27 Apr 2012)
Heard this recently a couple of times on the car radio traveling to training sessions. Been a while since I have heard something new that I have liked. The start creates a sense of anticipation and the song has an urgency about it. A couple of the lyrics that appealed (and I used to search for the song online) are bolded. Picked this video as I appreciate watching musicians performing.

Need Your Love Lyrics

The road is pulling me into her open where
And for a moment I escape and I forget
The silhouettes behind the dust clouds call me friend
But even fools know here they’re far a few between
She has abandoned me on highways and desert plates
Of lonely creatures singing for the summer rain
And at the end of all your knees fall down to me
Yeah it’s something in you always ask for someone real

Oh I need your love, I need your love,
I need you now, I need you
Oh I need your love, I need your love,
I need you now, I need you

She is my salvation in the dark
But at night with lips of honey calls the devil’s heart
And I am a war of flesh and heart that’s left undone
Between the person that I was and have become

Oh I need your love, I need your love,
I need you now, I need you
Oh I need your love, I need your love,
I need you now, I need you
I need your love

Oh I need your love, I need your love,
I need you now, I need you
Oh I need your love, I need your love,
I need you now, I need you

There’s no resting in my heart
There’s no resting in my heart
There’s no resting now
[x2]

The Cole Classic by Steve Christo - Sydney Life 2010

The Cole Classic by Steve Christo - Hyde Park/Sydney - 29 Sep 2010 (picasa)
Funny how photos (like music) take you back in time and in your memories. Recently saw the above photo at the 2010 Sydney Life Exhibition in Hyde Park.

Occasionally I hear or read about The Cole Classic, typically around the time of year which it is run (Jan/Feb). It was originally held at Bondi, but it moved to Manly some years ago.

Graham Cole was the founder of the The Cole Classic (see end of this post for more details). He was Sydney Solictor and a very keen swimmer. He was also the Landlord of the first house that I moved into when I had finished my University Degree in late 1982. Robyn, Mal and I moved into a 3 bedroom two storey terrace in Ebley Street, Bondi Junction in Jan 1983.

The move to Bondi Junction was a big change from the sheltered and idyllic surrounds of Wesley College where we had all spent 3-4 years living and studying. It also marked the beginning of our careers in our chosen professions. We enjoyed the change and having a place to live outside of the University. The Eastern Suburbs Railway had recently been completed and with a 5 minute walk to the Bondi Junction Railway Station, it was a quick trip to Town Hall and then a short walk to where I worked (almost 30 years later I still work in the same building but there have been plenty of moves and changes along the way).

Every month I paid the rent and I would wander down to the then P&O Building to give Graham's Secretary a cheque. He would often come out of his office and we would have a chat. In these chats I did get to hear some swimming stories and that he loved surfing at Bondi. At some stage he did mention The Cole Classic (in 1983 the first Cole Classic was swum with 101 swimmers participating).

He was always a very accomodating Landlord and he allowed us to do some wallpaper removal and painting to one of the rooms (the Red and White striped wallpaper a previous tenant had put up, was a bit much for Robyn, whose room it was). Around the same time he indicated he needed to paint the railings of the balcony to the front upstairs bedroom. He said he would come round one weekend to get it done. Mal and I gave him a hand and the job was done quickly over a couple of weekends.

Ebley Street - Bondi Junction - 30 Sep 2010 (picasa)
Moving forward just over 27 years ..

Coincidently, the day after I took the above Sydney Like 2010 Photo, I had to go to Bondi Junction for an appointment. Decided after the appointment I would go around to the old place (it was not far), have a look and take a couple of photos.

Not much has changed from the outside except for a new coat of paint - it was a dark green in the early 1980's. The Balcony railing was still there, I remember that weekend we painted it way back in the late summer of 1982/1983.

The Waverley Tower still hovers over Bondi Junction and Waverley, but it now has a lot more antenna's - mobile phones were certainly not mainstream public technology in the early to mid 1980's.

Ebley Street - Bondi Junction - 30 Sep 2010 (picasa)
Sadly, I remember reading in 2000 that Graham had died of a heart attack while swimming at his beloved Bondi Beach. From the Sydney Morning Herald dated the 06 Dec 2002 in an article titled At the Cole face:

He was 72 and had been told by his doctor to take things easy after developing a heart murmur. "But the surf called," says his son. "He went out, had a good surf, was talking to his mates on the beach, had a heart attack and died on the beach. It was unexpected. The guy was fit and robust. But it was a perfect way for him to go. He orchestrated it well."

I also remember reading this article in the Sydney Morning Herald in February this year. It gives an insight into how much The Cole Classic has grown.

It is such a long time ago now, I have trouble remembering much more than heading down to Bondi Beach after work to catch some waves on a newly purchased bogey board.

However, the most obvious memory for me of the place is the phone call I received there from my Mother in Wagga Wagga on the evening of Sunday 24 Jul 1983 to tell me my father had died of heart failure that evening at our Family Doctor's surgery after playing a game of hockey that afternoon. He was just a few months past his 47th Birthday. He lived just a couple weeks longer than Jenny.

Funny the things you remember when you see a photo.

From the History page of the www.coleclassic.com ..

How it all began

Graham Cole was a keen ocean swimmer, regularly swimming and body surfing at Bondi Beach. In 1981 he travelled to Hawaii with a team from the Tattersals Club to swim in the Waikiki Roughwater. He returned with a desire to establish a similar event in Sydney, reasoning that Australian beaches and strong beach culture were deserving of such an event and that it should be open to all members of the community who had done the necessary training. In 1982 Graham wrote;

The event is not a race but a challenge to all persons to stretch themselves in body and mind to swim a reasonable distance through surf. It will, I hope, be an incentive to persons to involve themselves in the self-discipline required to get fit; obtain confidence in their ability through swimming, to achieve a pride in having performed something that is, perhaps slightly above average, and finally to receive (in the form of an appropriately prepared Certificate or medal) some recognition of their accomplishment.

In 1983 the first Cole Classic was swum with 101 swimmers participating.

On Photography and Intention – StreetShooter (Mon 06 May 2015)

Heart - Ultimo (Fri 20 Mar 2015)

StreetShooter writes on Photography and Intent:

Here’s some things I discovered and figured out. I am not claiming to be the inventor or Doctor of Photography. I am just a guy that’s made photography a very important of my existence and these are things I try to live by.

There are 3 facets to photography. Eye, Heart and Mind. The Important thing is INTENT. Try to visualize a Pie. In the center is INTENT. Equally at three points are Eye, Heart and Mind. There are 3 parts because Intent is why you do things and not how you do things. The other 3 are how you do things.

All parts are the sum of one and effect each other at different times.

via Streetshooter … Thoughts and Findings … Defining and Finding “Intent” by StreetShooter.

A Heart of Stone - Iain S. Thomas (Mon 18 May 2015)

And love dares you to care for/The people on the edge of the light - King Street / Newtown (Sun 17 Apr 2011)

Iain S. Thomas on Heart:

I am saying: risk squeezing your heart, because I believe there's goodness there, for both you and the world.

Sure, maybe it'll be made of stone.

But if you squeeze it hard enough, you'll get blood

via The Risks of Never Reaching Inside Your Own Chest by Iain S. Thomas.

And love dares you to change our way of/Caring about ourselves - King Street / Newtown (Sun 17 Apr 2011)

On a Heart Exposed - Streetshooter (Thu 18 Jun 2015)

Untitled - Chippendale (Fri 26 Jun 2015)

Streetshooter on Exposing Your Heart:

if you wear your heart on your sleeve, you have to be able to live with the bumps and bruises that will happen to it.

via Streets of Philedephia … A Visual Diary … Page 5 … Dreamcatch by Streetshooter.

On Photography and Authenticity - Jason Langer / Aline Smithson (Mon 15 Jun 2015)

A Heart of Flowers - Alexandria (Sat 13 Jun 2015)

Jason Langer on Photography and Authenticity:

the truest, most authentic self is only revealed in isolation. For me, the social self is a mask. The photographs collected here are, simply put, a record of my attempt to penetrate the mask and expose some glimmer of the mystery beneath.

via JASON LANGER: TWENTY YEARS by Aline Smithson.

I have also found that the true authentic self is often revealed in those raw moments in your life involving your Heart where something is lost - a relationship through a breakdown or a death. A Tear is often a manifestation of the true authentic self because there is nothing left - no masks, no filters. In those moments of loss, before, during and after, the true authentic self is most often revealed, as it should be. For it not to be, might show great resilience in character and [maybe] a Heart of Stone, but this will only magnify and potentially extend the grieving and bereavement process that should follow any significant loss.

There is a beauty (if you are prepared to look at life this way) to the process, it's rawness and what it reveals in character. It shows you are living and experiencing a meaningful life in all its extremes. I have thought that my photography could - and to some extent it has already (and when I think about it as I write these words, it is the very reason I bought my first small digital camera way back Dec 2000) - pursue this direction. They are often markers and important references in your life as you move forward. I have found great comfort in my photographs.

Hands - Greenwich Hospital (Sun 12 Apr 2015)

How You Remind Me by Nickelback (youtube)

How You Remind Me by Nickelback
Are we having fun yet? ..
And this is how you remind me


A song that reminds of a Friend who introduced me to Nickelback and this song when we were collaborating on an internet project (* - wow did we do all that) and we were having so much fun.

The other enduring memory of this song is the time of it's release - September 11, 2001. It (as well as Powderfinger Song which I will track down) will always remind of that day.

How You Remind Me Lyrics

Never made it as a wise man
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing
Tired of living like a blind man
I'm sick of sight without a sense of feeling
And this is how you remind me

This is how you remind me
Of what I really am
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am

It's not like you to say sorry
I was waiting on a different story
This time I'm mistaken
For handing you a heart worth breaking

And I've been wrong, I've been down
Been to the bottom of every bottle
These five words in my head
Scream, "Are we having fun yet?"

Yeah, yeah, yeah
No, no
Yeah, yeah, yeah
No, no

It's not like you didn't know that
I said I love you and I swear I still do
And it must have been so bad?
Cause living with me must have damn near killed you

And this is how you remind me
Of what I really am
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am

It's not like you to say sorry
I was waiting on a different story
This time I'm mistaken
For handing you a heart worth breaking

And I've been wrong, I've been down
Been to the bottom of every bottle
These five words in my head
Scream, "Are we having fun yet?"

Yeah, yeah, yeah
No, no
Yeah, yeah, yeah
No, no

Yeah, yeah, yeah
No, no
Yeah, yeah, yeah
No, no

Never made it as a wise man
I couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing
And this is how you remind me
This is how you remind me

This is how you remind me
Of what I really am
This is how you remind me
Of what I really am

It's not like you to say sorry
I was waiting on a different story
This time I'm mistaken
For handing you a heart worth breaking

And I've been wrong, I've been down
Been to the bottom of every bottle
These five words in my head
Scream, "Are we having fun yet?"

Yeah, yeah
Are we having fun yet?
Yeah, yeah
Are we having fun yet?
Yeah, yeah
Are we having fun yet?
Yeah, yeah
No, no

The Lucky Ones

This is a work in progress. It has been in my head for a long time now, but it has been hard to write. Hopefully, it will make sense. I expect to modify it a bit over the next few weeks, but at least it is a start.

A few months before Jenny died, I read Lance Armstrong's book entitled "Its not about the bike". Jenny had been given a copy by a long time friend, Mena, not long after the book was first published here in Australia (sometime around 2002/3 I am guessing). She read the book quickly and I know she got a lot from the pages. For some reason I did not read the book until early May 2009.

Geoff, Jenny, Mena, Steve and Joanne - Natation DB Titles - Kawana / Qld - Sat 25 Apr 2009 (picasa)

I bought my own copy so that I could read the book that meant so much to Jenny. I think I was motivated by the fact the Jenny was progressing to the final stages of her Cancer (at least that is reluctantly what I quietly started to think - she had just been diagnosed with multiple tumors in her liver on the 11 Mar 2009 - not a very promising situation). I thought I might find something in the pages to understand her and our situation.

I read the book, intermittently over a few weeks, at my local coffee shop before work and on the train to work. There was lots of the book that resonated with me, particularly his encounters with cancer. One part in particular struck a chord with me. It was about a half through, where he writes about what he felt during chemotherapy following neurosurgery to remove a beign brain tumor.

What is stronger, fear or hope? It's an interesting question, and perhaps even an important one. Initially, I was very fearful and without much hope, but as I sat there and absorbed the full extent of my illness, I refused to let the fear completely blot out my optimism. Something told me that fear should never fully rule the heart, and I decided not to be afraid.

I wanted to live, but whether I would or not was a mystery, and in the midst of confronting that fact, even at that moment, I was beginning to sense that to stare into the heart of such a fearful mystery wasn't a bad thing. To be afraid is a priceless education. Once you have been that scared, you know more about your frailty than most people, and I think that changes a man. I was brought low, and there was nothing to take refuge in but the philosophical: this disease would force me to ask more of myself as person than I ever had before, and to seek out a different ethic.

A couple of days earlier, I had received an e-mail from a military guy stationed in Asia. He was a fellow cancer patient, and he wanted to tell me something.

"You don't know it yet," he wrote, "but we're the lucky ones."

I'd said aloud, "This guy's a nut."

What on earth could he mean?

When I read this, I stored it away in my mind, eagerly awaiting Lance's own answer to this question - lucky .. What on earth could he mean?. It would come quietly on the last page of the book.

"You don't know it yet, but we're the lucky ones," my fellow cancer patient had written.

I will always carry the lesson of cancer with me, and feel that I'm a member of the cancer community. I believe I have an obligation to make something better out of my life than before, and to help my fellow human beings who are dealing with the disease. It's a community of shared experience. Anyone who has heard the words You have cancer and thought, "Oh, my God, I'm going to die," is a member of it. If you've ever belonged, you never leave.

Jenny had often indicated that she felt lucky (I think in both aspects - that of surviving an aggressive cancer and oddly enough, having had had cancer). She said this in the Australian Story Episode, "In the Pink":

'I don't understand how things work out, and why things work out the way they do. I feel like I've been lucky. I don't understand how cancer works, I don't know why I've been blessed the way I have been.'

Jenny - Australian Story - "In the Pink - Kirrawee - May 2004 (picasa)

and in her Talks:

'I feel I am so lucky and have a wonderful life. I have had some great opportunities through breast cancer to meet some very inspiring people. Geoff and Jo have been a constant source of support for me. Breast cancer has totally changed my life but for the best.'

Relay for Life 2007 - Jenny - Survivor Representative - Sylvania Waters - Sat 28 Apr 2007 (picasa)

The Rainbow Connection - Phil, John, Marj, Jenny, Liz, Noel - Phil passed away shortly after this photo was taken - he often spoke to Jenny about how luck seemed to play a big part in how things worked out, but sometimes you make you own luck - Rely for Life 2003 - Sylvania Waters - Sat 31 May 2003 - (picasa)

As Jenny's International Dragon Boating Career started, she came to the attention of the Media and in the first Newspaper Article she featured in, she was even compared to Lance Armstrong:

Don Iverson, Director of the Health and Productivity Research Center at the University of Wollongong, said that Ms Petterson could be compared to Lance Armstrong, who won the Tour de France after fighting testicular cancer.

'It's almost superhuman,' he said.

Cancer wont slow rowing champion - Sydney Sun Herald - 2 May 2004

She was a little embarrassed by the comparison, but Jo and I were very proud of Jenny and her achievements in her treatment, her sport and her life as breast cancer survivor.

Geoff, Jenny, Grace, Lynn, Betty, Thomas, Grant, Joanne and David - Relay for Life 2007 - Jenny - Survivor Representative - Sylvania Waters - Sat 28 Apr 2007 (picasa)


After Jenny's passing, I had an encounter in the Intensive Care Unit where Jenny left us. Joanne and I had gone back to thank the staff at the St George Hospital and to pickup some scans that had been lost in Jenny's move from the Level 1 to ICU. We spoke to the head ICU nurses (they were between shifts) and we knew both of them from Jenny's time in ICU (and I was well known to them as I had fainted in ICU on Jenny's second day in ICU after the neurosurgery). We talked a little and I mentioned that Jenny did consider herself lucky to have had cancer - as she said herself - it had changed her life for the better. One the nurses questioned this statement and she made me feel a little uneasy for saying what I had said. She could not believe anyone with cancer could consider themselves lucky. Maybe, she had seen too much of the cold harsh reality of cancer in that ICU. Maybe she was right. It did not seem too lucky now that Jenny was gone?

This conversation stuck in my mind for a long time, and I started to question many things. It was not until I came across the following blog post by Doug Miller that I found some peace. Here was a man who had recently been diagnosed with Cancer. He was articulate and in many ways his post offers so much more than Lance's writings on Cancer and Luck. This is probably the most moving piece of writing I have read in my life. I don't have cancer, but I have lived a shared life with it and it's consequences. I can truly emphasise. Here it is. My heart is with you Doug ..

Doug Miller - Colorado Trail San Juan Mountains - 1994 - A Single Path - (blog)

The Lucky Ones by Doug Miller (Wed 23 Sep 2009)

[..] a friend [..] pointed me to Lance Armstrong's book entitled "Its not about the bike" I picked up a copy and quickly read through it. I liked it.

It had a bit much detail focusing on cycling, but that was an aspect of the man that could obviously not be separated from the larger reality of his battle with cancer.

There were portions though that left my mind spinning. Armstrong's description of his diagnosis and the roller coaster of emotions that ensued was painfully raw and hit the mark with a clarity and similarity I could not deny. I myself am walking those darkened and fearful paths as I write these very words.

Out of all the pages a couple simple statements that he made resonated with me in a powerful way.

Armstrong tells of a letter that he received. It was from a man he had never met before. He himself had battled cancer. He wrote Armstrong to acknowledge his support and positive thoughts. As he finished the letter he made a strange statement that confused Armstrong. He wrote, "you probably do not understand this right now, but we are the lucky ones".

What? How is anyone with cancer lucky? It is devastating. It not only has the potential to steal your life, but also has the destructive potential to steal your Hope. Those words are haunting. Lucky? We are the lucky ones. This brotherhood of suffering is somehow lucky..........blessed?

It is diametrically opposed to any sort of sane thinking that those outside of this brotherhood would agree with. It actually is an almost dangerous statement. As if you say it as you are waking off a cliff without a safety net. A statement such as that redefines everything. Life. Death. And even Hope.

But as I walk this path, and simultaneously encounter life in all its beauty and harshness, I find myself agreeing. "We are the lucky ones". I am lucky. I say those words with a part of me screaming, "how dare you, how can you say that". But it is true. The perspective that cancer gives to life is unbelievable. It has the power to refine you. Your thoughts. Your direction. Your focus.

It is as if you look at life for the first time. Everything is different. Nothing is the same. Everything is turned on edge, revealing a freshness and an urgency that is not seen outside of cancer. If this clarity does exist in our normal lives, it is missed. Overshadowed by the busyness of life. By worthless and empty pursuits.

Another quote from Armstrong's book was this: "Cancer is not about dying, it is about living" What a statement.

Most would argue against it. But those that walk this path find it to be true. Life after diagnosis becomes "alive". It becomes real. It is as if you can grasp it with your own hands, breath it in, consume it.

Oh if I could have had this view earlier in life. I knew that it existed. I sensed it. I chased it. Through the mountains. Through relationships. In the woods and fields of my youth. It was a whisper in the words of poets. And a reflection on the horizon as the sun slipped out of view. But i did not catch it until cancer became my reference. My reality.

We who are members of this brotherhood and sisterhood of suffering are the lucky ones, because now we can truly live. And Love. And Hope. And I dare to say Dream. They are painful dreams, haunted with the shadows of uncertainty, but they are vivid dreams. Passionate dreams. Dreams that leave your heart aching, your soul longing. We are released from the fear of death. Our finite lives are bared.

We come face to face with our mortality and realize that life is looking back at us. Raw and uncertain. But ALIVE none the less. There were days before cancer that I despaired. At times despising my life. But now I am hungry to live. I long to live. Whether that time be long or short, I hold tight to life and all of its glorious agony.

Posted by Doug Miller at 9:11 PM

2013 Auroras Senior B Selection Squad - Lotus Bay / Canberra (Fri 21 Dec - Sun 23 Dec 2012)

2013 Auroras Senior B Selection Squad - Lotus Bay / Canberra (Sun 23 Dec 2012) 2013 Auroras Senior B Selection Squad (Left Crop) - Lotus Bay / Canberra (Sun 23 Dec 2012) 2013 Auroras Senior B Selection Squad (Right Crop) - Lotus Bay / Canberra (Sun 23 Dec 2012)
Note to self. A personal guide for the Campaign and beyond ..

A few photos and words from my heart following the 2013 Auroras Senior B Selection Camp in Canberra from 21-23 Dec 2012.

Congratulations to all that put themselves forward for selection for the 2013 Auroras Senior B Dragon Boat Squad which will participate at the World Dragon Boat Championships in Szeged, Hungary in late July 2013.

Putting yourself up for selection and having dreams, hopes and goals is always a risky business as they can all be dashed in a moment.

For those whose journey for this campaign ended at the selection camp, you have my admiration and respect. My heart goes out to you, but I also know that there are future opportunities and with a plan, determination and perseverance you can achieve everything you want out of paddling and life. We have a number of role models in this regard and I encourage you to follow their lead. The camp will have given you perspective and a path forward to realising all your dreams and goals. It's a decision you make and it is all in your hands.

For those successful in selection, I congratulate you and I feel your elation in the trust the coaches have given us to represent Australia as the 2013 Auroras Senior B World Championship Dragon Boat Squad.

I thank those from the 2011 Auroras Squad (*) who have come back to give it another go. Your experience will be invaluable as we all learnt so much about ourselves, the importance of teamwork and what it is to compete on the world stage against the best the world has to offer.

The competition is intense and goals are achieved through your commitment to the training programme; trust in yourself, your team mates, managers and coaches.

Having done a few campaigns now, my advice is to savior every moment of the campaign. There can be feelings of elation, disappointment and every emotion in between. That is the nature of paddling at this level and I have learnt it is how we handle and respond to these emotions, that will mould who we are and who we will become. You have to an awareness of yourself and those around you - to be emotionally strong not only for yourself, but more importantly for the team, since our sport is the true essence of team work.

There are few words that stick in my mind from all my experiences in paddling and life. They are Trust, Belief and Risk.

Trust - Trust yourselves, your team mates, your managers and coaches. Remember the first time you stood in dragon boat in the standup paddle drill at the selection camp. Serge and Blair would not have asked us to do this if they thought we could not do it. They trusted us, as we trusted them. I saw no hesitation from either side. This is the kind of trust we need to find, particularly when we are uncertain. We just need to go with it and it will happen.

Belief (*) - You have to believe in yourself, and your supporters in paddling and in life. Most importantly you have to believe in the campaign, the process, your team mates, managers and coaches. I find this quote (*) gives me perspective, understanding and strength:

If you believe, you are stronger and the light will shine on you.

Risk - by getting to this point, we have all proved we are not averse to taking a risk or two. At this level, the stakes and emotions are heightened. There are risks all round as we step into the unknown to compete against the best in the world. We have control of many things and this is our focus, but there are others things which we don't, for as you see, I have learnt there is an underlying randomness to it all. This is where adaptability comes in, as we respond in a measured and considered way to the random events that are tossed our way and that which we may confront. Take nothing for granted, success is not attained easily. Often, time and persistence is required.

Finally, be prepared to let go of everything you know and to start from zero (*). It would take me a long time to learn this one and it only came to me in Busan (*) at the 2012 Asian Dragon Boat Championships in Sep 2012. Ask Paul Langley as we learnt this together in the Mixed 10's (*). I became the paddler and person I always wanted to be on that hot sunny day in Busan.

We have an amazing blend of enthusiasm, hardened experience and raw newness at this level. Focus on what you can control, trust and believe and the rest will look after itself. I feel privileged to share this experience with you and look forward to what lays ahead.

2013 Auroras Grand Masters Selection Squad Camp - Lotus Bay / Canberra (Fri 21 Dec - Sat 23 Dec 2012)

All the world's roads lead to the heart of the warrior

All the world's roads lead to the heart of the warrior; he plunges unhesitatingly into the river of passions always flowing through his life.

The warrior knows that he is free to choose his desires, and he makes these decisions with courage, detachment and - sometimes - with just a touch of madness.

He embraces his passions and enjoys them intensely. He knows that there is no need to renounce the pleasures of conquest; they are part of life and bring joy to all those who participate in them.

But he never loses sight of those things that last or of the strong bonds that are forged over time.

A warrior can distinguish between the transient and the enduring.

From the Manual of the Warrior of Light (*) by Paulo Coelho (*)

Intersection (*) - Jamaica Road / Bermondsey / London (Fri 04 Sep 2009)

On Art, Life and Death - Matthew Sleeth /SMH (Tue 17 Feb 2015)

"Found - A Heart" - Diggers Beach / Coffs Harbour (Mon 16 Feb 2015)

Matthew Sleeth on the power and influence of Art in our Life:

Art is partly about changing material into thought, but, for many artists, it is also about changing yourself through the process of making the art and moving past the limitations of your daily circumstances.

via Myuran Sukumaran and Andrew Chan have earned a second chance by Matthew Sleeth.

My heart goes out to Myuran and Andrew and their Families and Friends. Their story of transformation and support is inspiring and it is this that I will take from the pain and suffering we witness and feel in ourselves, as their imminent executions unfold before us:

Very few people ever materially change their lives; I mean really change their lives, not just fiddle around the edges. It's very difficult to do and takes a great deal of courage, support and time. [..] The definition of rehabilitation is becoming a better, changed person and both Myu and Andrew have achieved this through their own courage and the support they have received from their community.

It is hard to know what to say in this time. All I think I can say is thank you Myuran and Andrew, your transformations and strength of character inspires me to be a better person in my own life. May you be blessed.

On Being a Beginner - Spencer Lum / forwardandopen.com (Fri 17 Jul 2015)

Puzzle of the Heart - Chippendale (Tue 14 Jul 2015)

Spencer Lum on being a Beginner and Fear:

When you’re a beginner, the fear isn’t there, because the judgement isn’t there. You can play to your heart’s content

via email by Spencer Lum.

Ever the Beginner. And maybe that is what you hide behind to justify your own Self Doubts and lack of apparent confidence in yourself.

[An aside] Another time to Let Go of Fear is when All is Lost (or Won). And it can be rewarding and exhilarating when you do.

On Intention - The Eye, Heart and Mind - StreetShooter (Thu 08 May 2014)

eljeiffel House (*) - Alexandria (Sun 04 May 2014)
StreetShooter (*) writes On Intent (*):

it’s very easy to adapt (*) the frame (*) to make a photo by moving but it’s more important to be where you are supposed to be and be using what you are supposed to be using because you want what your INTENT (*) wants to be as true to the EYE, HEART and MIND (*) as possible.

via May 8th, 2014 … Fuji X-Pro1 and 23mm May Be as Good as it Gets (*) by StreetShooter (*).

There was a rainbow (*) on the wall of the soon to be lounge room. I placed the camera on the wall and captured the photo above. I was interested to see how it came out. Must have placed the camera in the yellow part of the rainbow. Will experiment a bit more later ..

Jenny - St George Private Hospital (11:48am Tue 23 Jun 2009)

Jenny - Two years ago, just now!! - St George Private Hospital (11:48am Tue 23 Jun 2009)
Another turning point
A fork stuck in the road

Time grabs you by the wrist
directs you where to go
So make the best of this test
and don't ask why
It's not a question
But a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time
of your life

So take the photographs
and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf
in good health and good time

Time of your Life by Green Day


The last photo I took of Jenny before her heart failed, about an hour later, while she was having her lunch. I have written briefly about it here:

• Angels on the Moon - Thriving Ivory (youtube)
  

There seemed to be so much hope as I took this photo.

For me, it was the hope that we could take her home (she had negotiated it to be Wed, so Jo and I could go to our Aus Dragon Boat training session that Tue night) and care for her until she quietly left us, like Jenny and Jo had done with Margaret, their mother, 10 years earlier.

It was not meant to be and it is amazing how quickly things can change and how you need to accept, adapt and let go to the circumstances which we are confronted with as we move through life.

It is in these moments that I came to fully understand the following words from Paulo Coehlo's novel, The Fifth Mountain (which I would read 6 months later):

Fear reaches only to the point where the unavoidable begins; from there on, it loses its meaning. And all we have left is the hope that we are making the right decision.

A story for another day.

For now, I remember Jenny and the final week of her life, that she spent in Intensive Care Unit of St George Private Hospital, before she left us on Tue 30 Jun 2009.

Postscript

Amazingly, about an hour after posting the above (maybe about the time Jenny's heart failed two years earlier), a post titled Regrets came through from Paulo Coelho. It is based on this post:

• Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware

It touchs on the time I had hoped for at home with Jenny and things we might have been able to talk about.

In the end, she left us very suddenly (and with much trauma - unlike her Mothers passing which was very peaceful and serene, if you can understand that) and we were not able to say goodbye.

I carry some of the regrets Bronnie mentions, but in the end I would like to think we lived a good life that allowed us to make the most of the time we had together.

The Cancer made us better people and we did live life to full - Do what you can, when you can. I would say. For Jenny, it was Don't Wonder 'What If?'. Every time we parted, I would say I love you and often many times in between.

One thing I know for sure, it is that through Jenny's life and passing, I have become a better person - I feel guilty about this in many ways, but at the same time I draw some comfort.

Time of Your Life - an amazing accoustic version - Green Day (youtube)

Another Love - Tom Odell / Letterman Live (Wed 01 May 2013)

Another Love (*) by Tom O'Dell (*) - YouTube (*) - Letterman Live / NYC (Wed 01 May 2013)
Found it (*) and best of all a Letterman Live version.

Another Love (*) by Tom O'Dell (*)

I wanna take you somewhere so you know I care
But it's so cold and I don't know where
I brought you daffodils in a pretty string
But they won't flower like they did last spring

And I wanna kiss you, make you feel alright
I'm just so tired to share my nights
I wanna cry and I wanna love
But all my tears have been used up

On another love, another love
All my tears have been used up
On another love, another love
All my tears have been used up
On another love, another love
All my tears have been used up

And if somebody hurts you, I wanna fight
But my hands been broken, one too many times
So I'll use my voice, I'll be so f'ing rude
Words they always win, but I know I'll lose

And I'd sing a song, that'd be just ours
But I sang 'em all to another heart
And I wanna cry I wanna learn to love
But all my tears have been used up

On another love, another love
All my tears have been used up
On another love, another love
All my tears have been used up
On another love, another love
All my tears have been used up

I wanna sing a song, that'd be just ours
But I sang 'em all to another heart
And I wanna cry, I wanna fall in love
But all my tears have been used up

On another love, another love
All my tears have been used up
On another love, another love
All my tears have been used up
On another love, another love
All my tears have been used up