Gerald the Dog - Yellow - SLUG - Buckland Lane / Newtown (Thu 02 Dec 2010)

Gerald the Dog - Yellow - SLUG - Buckland Lane / Newtown (Thu 02 Dec 2010)
Gerald the Dog - Yellow - SLUG - Buckland Lane / Newtown (Sat 20 Nov 2010)
A lot of changes since Sat 20 Nov 2010. Not much remains. Our poor pooch, Gerald the Dog, has been virtually rubbed out. The end is near. His little friend to the right has acquired some eyes (similar to Gerald's), a nose and a mouth. Not sure what the Bulletin Board text is about. There is some more text in blue that merges with the blue background. Pretty sure I know what the first word is - can't make out the rest.

Gerald the Dog and Friend - Yellow - SLUG - Buckland Lane / Newtown (Thu 02 Dec 2010)
Gerald the Dog and Friend - Yellow - SLUG - Buckland Lane / Newtown (Thu 02 Dec 2010)
Gerald the Dog and Friend - Yellow - SLUG - Buckland Lane / Newtown (Thu 02 Dec 2010)
Gerald the Dog and Friend - Yellow - SLUG - Buckland Lane / Newtown (Thu 02 Dec 2010)
A new Character - SLUG - Buckland Lane / Newtown (Sat 20 Nov 2010)

I have learned (by unknown)

I found the following piece while poking around Paulo Coelho's myspace page (he is on every social media site :-). Anyway, I like this and thought I would put it here to share as well as remember. What I have learned. There is much wisdom here:

I have learned (by author unknown) ..

• I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.


• I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back;


• I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.


• I've learned that it's not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts;


• I've learned that you can get by on charm, for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better know something;


• I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do.


• I've learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.


• I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person that I want to be.


• I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may b the last time you see them.


• I've learned that you can keep going long after you can't.


• I've learned that we are responsible for all we do, no matter how we feel.


• I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.


• I've learned that no matter how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take it's place.


• I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.


• I've learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.


• I've learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.


• I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're downhill are the ones to help you get back up.


• I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.


• I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.


• I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean that they don't love you with all they have.


• I've learned that maturity had more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.


• I've learned that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological.


• I've learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.


• I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to forgive yourself.


• I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn't stop for your grief.


• I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.


• I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.


• I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.


• I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.


• I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.


• I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will get hurt in the process.


• I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.


• I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.


• I've learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.


• I've learned that the people you care about the most in life are taken from you too soon.


• I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.

'Angel's Hand and Wing' - A Church / Brussels - Europe 2009 - A Second Look - 11 Sep 2009 (picasa)

Inspire Award 2020 - Pacific Dragons - Nicola Frowen (Sun 08 Nov 2020)

This is the 11th year of the Inspire Award. The award was created in the memory of club member Jenny Petterson who passed away in June 2009. Jenny was the slightly older identical twin of Joanne and Geoff was her Husband.

Jenny had a long journey in life with breast cancer and all the complications that come with a persistent and aggressive cancer. It was through this journey she found paddling. It gave her a chance to be like everyone else and she loved the training, competing and being part of a team. She paddled at the highest level, even up to the last month of her life. She was an inspiration to many through her actions and approach to life with cancer. She was a speaker for the Breast Cancer Network of Australia and spoke regularly to various groups in the community.

To remember Jenny, and to promote and acknowledge inspirational qualities within the club, the PD's committee of the day, created what is now the Inspire Award. Nominations are made by club members for their paddling club members. Initially, the Committee would make the decision and put the names forward to Joanne and Geoff as a courtesy. As the years passed, the committee decided to forward recommended nominations and it is now up to Joanne and Geoff to decide the recipient. A big responsibility for us.

This year the Committee received many great nominations made in the true spirit of the award and it is pleasing to see that inspiration is alive and well within the club. Included in the nominations this year were Caitlin Moffat, Esther Wheeler, Hannaleena Mikkonen, Jodie Dunbar, Jo Petterson, Karina Piddington, Nicola Frowen, Rachel Mosen, Vicki Rowcliff, Ian Amos and Geoff Eldridge.

As we look back we can see that the 2019/20 season was somewhat different in a few ways. Bushfires to start with and a global pandemic to follow that reached our shores in March 2020. As a result, it took the Inspire Award in a different direction to what we had hoped at the beginning of the season.

The pandemic showed to us many things that we had taken for granted, and at the same time reintroduced us to another time where life was a little slower, simpler and more local. It showed us that we were resilient and resourceful. For a moment our nation’s leader’s put aside politics and actual lead us through a very difficult time, We responded as individuals to situation the best we could and we were asked to make sacrifices for the long term good of our Nation and its’ people. We were also asked to isolate and distance ourselves and in process we became closer through a share experienced.

At a club-level the response was immediate and very effective. The club leadership recognised the importance of connection in insolation right from the very start and we had many club members contribute Facebook Live content – from their gardens, to kitchens, bikes, virtual drinks, to workspaces and who could ever forget the dextrous virtual “passing” of a toilet roll (no pun intended) across the club’s membership in insolation. We even had virtual single craft time-trials.

Our club leadership stepped up in these difficult times and provided a safe and inclusive environment for all club members to feel connected in a virtual way, since we could not interact in our usual way.

It took teamwork from our club leadership to quickly devise and implement a plan. Inspirational leadership ignites a spark within those they care for. The recipient of this year’s Inspire Award was a person who shone a bright and optimistic light on the club’s response as it evolved with the everchanging requirements of the pandemic response. She provided hope and that spark for many to act and I was one. There is not another person that has had a bigger impact on Jo and my lives, than this year’s Inspire Award recipient - Nicola Frowen. Congratulations Nicola.

We have known Nicola for many years now and well remember when she arrived as a new paddler supporting a friend who wanted to try paddling. Luckily for us, Nicola stayed while her friend moved on. Jo and I, as well as many here, have shared so many great experiences with her over the subsequent years both here and abroad. Working in the travel industry she has always had a hand in our travel arrangements one way or another and has kept us all very organised.

We have seen her grow as an inspirational paddler, coordinator, coach, leader and mentor. She recognises potential and opportunities for club members to contribute and is not afraid to suggest people to take on roles and undertake tasks. She believes in you and will support you. Here are what other club members have contributed.

From Caitlin:

Nicola has supported me the whole way through this accidental/last minute President situation. If she was not as generous with her time and knowledge, I would genuinely be lost. Every time I have asked for help, she has been there for me regardless of the millions of things she has going on.

Nicola's commitment to the club is like an iceberg, most people only see 10%. Her passion for our club and its members is unrivalled. It is all of that and more that continuously inspires me to be a better paddler, a committed club member and an outstanding President.

From Steve:

Nicola has a seemingly tireless energy, passion and enthusiasm for the PD's. Is always working on 'something' for the club be it as a coach, committee member, paddler or just assisting to keep things running over the last few months with the Covid-crisis. I might be seen to be slightly biased, but I am really speaking objectively and from personal 'observations'...!

Others added:

• Nicola is completely committed to ensuring that the club is training well and working together. Her encouragement before and after a race is motivating.
• from Nicola’s support across all paddling codes, words of encouragement and push to help our sport get back to the water is inspiring Nicola goes above and beyond in so many ways, most unseen by the club, to make things happen.
• Nicola has put in so much time into her own training and also to coaching others to better the club and has put in a lot of time to organise events etc

Congratulations Nicola. Thank you for everything. You are and always will be an inspiration.

Saturday Night's Alright (For Paddling) ..

Saturday Night's Alright (For Fighting) (wikipedia) - Elton John and Anastacia
We all had to come up with a song for our 2006 HCC paddle. This video inspired my hopeless attempt, which follows ..

Saturday Night's Alright (For Paddling)

Music by Elton John
Original Lyrics by Bernie Taupin (Butchering done by Me)
Available on an album in all good record stores ..

It's getting late have you seen my mates
Steph tell me when the Windsor Start gets near
It's six o'clock and I want to paddle
Want to get a night full of cheer

Gav's funnier than a barrel full of monkeys
And Julia she does really care
Betty looks cute in her paddling suit
An orange scarf in her hair

Don't give us none of your aggravation
We had it with your discipline
Saturday night's alright for paddling
Get a little steering in

Run about as smooth as the best paddling boat
Gonna set this river alight
`Cause Saturday night's the night I like
Saturday night's alright alright alright

Well we're packed pretty tight in here tonight
I'm looking for the finish that'll see me right
I may use a little muscle to get what I need
I may sink a little drink and shout out "almost here"

A couple of the sound that I really like
Are the sounds of a smooth running paddling boat
I'm a product of the PD's paddling class
Whose best friend McGinty floats around in a paddling boat

Original Lyrics ..

Saturday Night's Alright (For Fighting)
Music by Elton John
Lyrics by Bernie Taupin

Available on the album Goodbye Yellow Brick Road

It's getting late have you seen my mates
Ma tell me when the boys get here
It's seven o'clock and I want to rock
Want to get a belly full of beer

My old man's drunker than a barrel full of monkeys
And my old lady she don't care
My sister looks cute in her braces and boots
A handful of grease in her hair

Don't give us none of your aggravation
We had it with your discipline
Saturday night's alright for fighting
Get a little action in

Get about as oiled as a diesel train
Gonna set this dance alight
`Cause Saturday night's the night I like
Saturday night's alright alright alright

Well they're packed pretty tight in here tonight
I'm looking for a dolly who'll see me right
I may use a little muscle to get what I need
I may sink a little drink and shout out "She's with me!"

A couple of the sound that I really like
Are the sounds of a switchblade and a motorbike
I'm a juvenile product of the working class
Whose best friend floats in the bottom of a glass

Angels on the Moon - Thriving Ivory (youtube)

Angels on the Moon by Thriving Ivory
Don't tell me if I'm dying,
Cause I don't wanna know,
If I can't see the sun,
Maybe I should go,


Jenny wrote ..

I have always said to all of my doctors "Don’t give me a prognosis". I believe the mind is very powerful and I don’t want it locking onto any sort of timeframe. My mother was of the same opinion and she didn’t want her doctors to put any time constraints on her life. I am not silly, I know my situation is serious as through my associations with cancer support groups I have seen others with a similar diagnosis to me not be so lucky. But everyone’s journey is different. Each time I see a new doctor I say up front "Don’t give me a time".

Jenny and Jodi (Jenny's Oncologist) - St George Private Hospital - Mon Evening 22 Jun 2009
Jenny's last sunrise (see photo's below) before her heart failed around midday on Tue 23 Jun 2009. She was revived and spent the last week of her life in ICU (more here).

The photos are by a friend Jeff Grant. I have photographed this beach with Jeff and another friend Leigh Perry. Some photos will be posted here in the future.

Solstice #2 - Turrimeta / Sydney - Jeff Grant (Sunrise Tue 23 Jun 2009)
Joanne and I both remember Jenny talking to us about watching the sunrise over Botany Bay that day from her hospital bed at St George Private Hospital. Jo and I were both supposed to be at a early morning base building Aus dragon boat session at Blackwattle Bay but we were both very tired from Jenny's hospital visit to remove a 4cm brain tumor a week earlier. Jenny said she thought of us as she watched this beautiful sunrise. Jo and I often talk about this and always feel a little guilty that we were not out there on the water that morning doing what Jenny would have loved to be doing.

Jenny was always positive about her cancer and never asked for a "prognosis". I know she knew how serious this situation was for her. Liz the Sutherland Shire Cancer Support Group Counsellor told me that Jenny actually cried at the Meeting the week before her operation, something Liz had not seen before.

When I heard this song for the first time (thanks again to Charlotte, we were always bound to meet) the above lines resonated with me instantly. It seemed to describe vividly Jenny's outlook and that last sunrise she witnessed ..

If I can't see the sun,
Maybe I should go

I have sat on this post for so long. Always feel like I can never capture what I am really trying to say. I think that is just about it. Time to watch Hell of the North. Life goes on, but it is important to remember.

Solstice #3 - Turrimeta / Sydney - Jeff Grant (Sunrise Tue 23 Jun 2009)

Photographer: Murray Fredericks

Murray Fredericks is an Australian Photographer. I was aware of him and his works from my foray into large format photography. I had bought a 4x5 inch large format camera in Shanghai in November 2004 (that's another story) and I needed to learn how to use it. Murray was offering a weekend workshop at a rural location in western NSW, near Oberon, and I had considered attending. With assistance of my friend Leigh Perry, I was able to work it all out and did not need to take Murray's workshop in the end. Some scans of my initial transparencies, by an Epson 4990 scanner, are here

I follow news regarding photography and photography exhibitions in Sydney - typically article written by Robert McFarlane who writes occasionally for the Sydney Morning Herald (just found he has a blog at ozphotoreview.blogspot.com). I have known of Murray since the time his work was exhibited at the Point Light Gallery in 2003. His initial SALT work was also reviewed by Robert McFarlane

When flying to Prague, on the flight to Prague from Helsinki on FinnAir, I was pleasantly surprised and delighted to read an English Newspaper (The Financial Times) that had a review of Murray's exhibition in London at the Hamiltons Gallery in Mayfair. I pulled out the page inflight and put it away with a mental note to make sure I would find the Gallery and view the Salt Exhibition when in London a few weeks later. Was very impressed to read that his photos were being compared to Turner paintings and that the largest and most expensive photo was being sold for 30,000 Pounds - pretty impressive for a humble landscape photographer who started his career as an Economist from Sydney University.

Blue Sky Thinking - Murray Fredericks - SALT II - A Newspaper Article found inflight between Helsinki and Prague - Sat 22 Aug 2009 - (picasa)
The day before the Great River Race, I had organised our seats on boats and I had time to do some sight seeing in London. I found the Gallery using Google Maps and made my way there on the Tube. I found the Gallery easily and chatted with the Gallery guy, who gave my a DVD of the SALT Documentary of his trip to Lake Eyre. Managed to sneak in a few photos before I left for the Photographers Gallery (yet another story), which was walking distance away (well maybe at least a couple hours rambling through the back streets of London).

Murray Fredericks: Salt Exhibition - Hamiltons Gallery / London - Fri 04 Sep 2009 (picasa)

Murray Fredericks: Salt Exhibition - Hamiltons Gallery / London - Fri 04 Sep 2009 (picasa)

Murray Fredericks: Salt Exhibition - Hamiltons Gallery / London - Fri 04 Sep 2009 (picasa)

SALT37 by Murray Fredericks - Sep 2009 (www.gosee.de)

Self Portrait in Lake Eyre - Hamiltons Gallery / London - Fri 04 Sep 2009 (picasa)
The ABC are showing his SALT Documentary tonight. There was a review in yesterdays Sydney Morning Herald titled - Searching for infinite space in extreme locations. An extract follows:

Murray Fredericks - Sydney Morning Herald 22 Mar 2010 - Searching for infinite space in extreme locations - Tue 23 Mar 2010 (picasa)
Having been "the guy with a camera" at high school who took pictures of sports teams, Fredericks was a serious photographer with commercial and artistic ambitions in his mid-twenties. He shot what he calls traditional coffee table-style photos until he realised he wanted more from his work.

"I reached the point where I went through everything and went 'there's nothing new here'. All I'm doing is finding new angles and new locations but the message itself - and the way the message is delivered - isn't changing'," he says.

"So I went through everything again and I thought 'which images affect me differently?' and they were the images that conveyed a sense of space."

That discovery has taken Fredericks 14 times to Lake Eyre in outback South Australia in the past six years. His aim was to photograph the flat salt plain with its low horizon and lack of distinctive features.

Hauling his gear to the location by bicycle, he spent up to five weeks by himself trying to capture the nothingness. And when things changed, he wanted to capture that too.

"Everything happens on the cusp, on the change,'' he says. ''It's the transition periods that are interesting because that's when the stuff you can't imagine or you can't expect happens."

Fredericks's shots of land and sky have proven so popular there are three galleries - in Sydney, Melbourne and London - waiting for his new work.

SALT 8 by Murray Fredericks

Found a nice review by Rebecca Wolkenstein who writes:

.. it wasn’t until I viewed his film SALT, that I decided my roster couldn’t live without him. The film and the work had a spiritual element I had never really understood before then. It sounds rather dramatic to be speaking this way, doesn’t it? When the film comes out [..], I highly recommend that you immerse yourself in the landscape. It’s full of surprises.

SALT 5 by Murray Fredericks

My friend Leigh Perry shoots very similar photos, but typically from the shore of Sydney's coastline - see his portfolios: Invariance and Peripheral Vision. Beautiful photos ..

Invariance #116011 - Reef by Leigh Perry

Invariance #332 - Lake. by Leigh Perry

Jenny’s Gold Medal

PRAGUE 2009 – 9TH IDBF WORLD DRAGON BOAT CHAMPIONSHIPS – AUG 2009
Jenny’s Gold Medal
Prague was an amazing experience. Winning a Gold Medal and singing our National Anthem is something I don't think Joanne (Jenny's younger identical twin sister) or I (Jenny's Husband) will ever be able to explain or describe.

World Champs!! – “Thank You Jenny”
Anyway, I should try to find some words about our Prague experience .. The thing I will remember most about Prague is ..

.. We met Mike Haslam (IDBF Executive President) a couple of times and we spoke initially for quite a while at the end of the third day. We thanked him for his ”Tribute to Jenny” and the wonderful article for Jenny in the July 2009 DBI Newsletter. It became apparent in talking to him that he was truly “touched” by Jenny and he spoke quite openly about the positive impact she had had on his own life over the years and in particular since her passing on the 30 June 2009.

Just before we parted, I asked him whether we could have a photo together, as this had become a bit of tradition with Jenny, Joanne and Mike over the years. This time instead of capturing the moment, I would be in the photo, taking the place of Jenny. After the photo was taken, we all became quite emotional and I asked Joanne to give Mike a comforting hug. As we parted, I was happy, we had said “ thank you” and I had the photo of Mike and Joanne, and thought that would be it for the Regatta. Well, maybe not ..

Geoff, Mike and Joanne - Prague/Racice - Day 3 - 28 Aug 2009

Mike and Joanne - Prague/Racice - Day 3 - 28 Aug 2009
The following day, the Australian Senior Mixed Crew, which Joanne and I were team members, won a Gold Medal in the Mixed 500m Event. For all of us, particularly Joanne and I, this was an amazing experience and a “Dream come True”. We all gave it everything we had and we got off the Dragon Boat onto the Lane 1 Pontoon, not “Wondering, ‘What If’?”. Jenny was our “our Guiding Light and Inspiration” and this was just one example of how Joanne and I are trying to live our lives in Jenny’s “Afterglow”.

Senior Mixed 500m Final - Day 4 - 29 Aug 2009 - "Don't Wonder 'What If?'" Jenny P

Australian Senior Mixed 500m Team – Prague/Racice - Day 4 - 29 Aug 2009
On the last day of the Regatta during the lunch break, Mike came over to the Australian tent to handout copies of the latest DBI Newsletter (the one with Jenny's story) and he again spoke to Joanne and I at length.

We talked to him about winning Gold and how everyone in the Mixed Crew and Squad felt that we had a 21st paddler in the boat when we raced the final. I told him about the wristbands we were wearing with Jenny's "Don't wonder ‘What If?’" quote inscribed on the inside (we all raced with the wristbands inside out).

Finally, I told him how we all went into Prague the evening of the day we won” Gold”, to quietly celebrate a truly amazing experience in our lives - as the German Team told us after the Final - "we made the impossible, possible". Everyone, except Joanne and I, wore their medals out that night (indeed, some are still wearing them :-). When asked on numerous occasions where were our medals? - We said “back at the hotel room with Jenny's photo”. I think everyone understood.

Jenny with Joanne and Geoff's Medals – Prague/Hotel Duo - Day 4 - 29 Aug 2009
Just before Mike left the tent, he said to us he felt that we should have a "Special" Gold medal presented to us for Jenny, in her honour, memory and contribution to Dragon Boating. Obviously, we were quite touched by his thoughts and this gesture. As he left he said he would arrange it all, though we were not quite sure how.

During the afternoon Mike came over twice to the Australian Team Tent, from the Official's Tower (a good 10 min return trip). Joanne and I were not around both times - either racing or watching races (my only chance the whole Regatta). When I got back to the tent I had numerous people tell me an IDBF official was looking for Joanne and I - little did they know it was the President of the IDBF.

Since the Senior Women’s Team were racing the 500m Final, I decided not to find Mike until I could "round up" Joanne. Our Women's Team placed a close 4th in the Final and just as they started coming off the water, Mike appeared from behind me (yet another 10 min return trip for him) and said he would wait until Joanne came through. Being a Final, it took some time to get all the Crews off the water and through all the celebrations, back slapping and hand shaking that goes on, particularly for the final race of the Regatta for all the Senior Women’s Teams.

When Joanne was finally free, I grabbed her and then Mike presented us a “Special” Gold Medal in Jenny's Memory and Honour. As you can see from the photo below, Joanne has used Jenny's paddle since she passed away on the 30 June 2009. We all had a few tears in our eyes, including Mike. An amazing gesture and a memory I will never forget.

Geoff, Mike and Joanne with Jenny's Paddle and Gold Medal - Prague/Racice - Day 5 - Sun 30 Aug 2009
Later that evening, as the sun was setting at the Regatta’s “After Party”, which was being held at the Regatta site, Joanne and I scattered some of Jenny's Ashes on the water from the Lane One Pontoon, where we had raced the Final from and celebrated the Victory. Below, you will see some photos of the serene and peaceful sunset as we reflected back on Jenny's life and the whole Prague experience.

Joanne and Geoff scattering Jenny's Ashes - Prague/Racice - Day 5 - Sun 30 Aug 2009


Jenny’s Gold Medal from Lane 1 Pontoon - Prague/Racice - Day 5 - Sun 30 Aug 2009
Death may have ended Jenny’s Life, but our Relationship lives on. Prague has shown us all that.

Thank you Jenny, you would often say that you felt Lucky (more here) to have experienced life with Cancer. However, I consider it us to be the “Lucky Ones”. You have given us the knowledge, strength, hope, guidance and inspiration to continue to live our lives to the full. We live on in your “Afterglow”.

You will be with us, Always ..

Don’t Wonder “What If?” – Jenny P

.. just one story from Prague.

Geoff Eldridge - Jenny’s Loving Husband - 30 October 2009

Postscript: The essence of the above comes from an email I wrote (high in the French Pyrenees just 10km from the famous Col du Tourmalet of Tour De France fame) to Julia Ryall, my Club Dragon Boat Coach at Pacific Dragon’s and a truly Great Friend. I wanted to thank her for all of the effort she has put into me as paddler (four years of hard work actually and still a "work in progress") and as a friend. As I said to her before we left for Prague, she has made me the paddler I am, and indeed has helped make me the person I am. It’s not just about the paddle. Since Jenny’s passing, she has shouldered much of the responsibility for keeping the Dragon Boat community informed and coordinated (as well as her beautiful tribute). Indeed, it was Julia I asked to inform Mike Haslam about Jenny’s passing. She has also provided a “shoulder to cry on” and has helped to keep me “pointing in the right direction”, when it all seems like it has become too much. I am not sure how to really thank her, but maybe her contribution to us as paddlers and people (there were seven PD’s on the boat that day), and as a result this Prague story, will go some way to do just that ..

Julia - Thank You.
"Triple J" - Joanne, Julia and Jenny - AusDBF Nationals - After Party – Kawana/Qld - Sun 26 April 2009

The Lucky Ones

This is a work in progress. It has been in my head for a long time now, but it has been hard to write. Hopefully, it will make sense. I expect to modify it a bit over the next few weeks, but at least it is a start.

A few months before Jenny died, I read Lance Armstrong's book entitled "Its not about the bike". Jenny had been given a copy by a long time friend, Mena, not long after the book was first published here in Australia (sometime around 2002/3 I am guessing). She read the book quickly and I know she got a lot from the pages. For some reason I did not read the book until early May 2009.

Geoff, Jenny, Mena, Steve and Joanne - Natation DB Titles - Kawana / Qld - Sat 25 Apr 2009 (picasa)

I bought my own copy so that I could read the book that meant so much to Jenny. I think I was motivated by the fact the Jenny was progressing to the final stages of her Cancer (at least that is reluctantly what I quietly started to think - she had just been diagnosed with multiple tumors in her liver on the 11 Mar 2009 - not a very promising situation). I thought I might find something in the pages to understand her and our situation.

I read the book, intermittently over a few weeks, at my local coffee shop before work and on the train to work. There was lots of the book that resonated with me, particularly his encounters with cancer. One part in particular struck a chord with me. It was about a half through, where he writes about what he felt during chemotherapy following neurosurgery to remove a beign brain tumor.

What is stronger, fear or hope? It's an interesting question, and perhaps even an important one. Initially, I was very fearful and without much hope, but as I sat there and absorbed the full extent of my illness, I refused to let the fear completely blot out my optimism. Something told me that fear should never fully rule the heart, and I decided not to be afraid.

I wanted to live, but whether I would or not was a mystery, and in the midst of confronting that fact, even at that moment, I was beginning to sense that to stare into the heart of such a fearful mystery wasn't a bad thing. To be afraid is a priceless education. Once you have been that scared, you know more about your frailty than most people, and I think that changes a man. I was brought low, and there was nothing to take refuge in but the philosophical: this disease would force me to ask more of myself as person than I ever had before, and to seek out a different ethic.

A couple of days earlier, I had received an e-mail from a military guy stationed in Asia. He was a fellow cancer patient, and he wanted to tell me something.

"You don't know it yet," he wrote, "but we're the lucky ones."

I'd said aloud, "This guy's a nut."

What on earth could he mean?

When I read this, I stored it away in my mind, eagerly awaiting Lance's own answer to this question - lucky .. What on earth could he mean?. It would come quietly on the last page of the book.

"You don't know it yet, but we're the lucky ones," my fellow cancer patient had written.

I will always carry the lesson of cancer with me, and feel that I'm a member of the cancer community. I believe I have an obligation to make something better out of my life than before, and to help my fellow human beings who are dealing with the disease. It's a community of shared experience. Anyone who has heard the words You have cancer and thought, "Oh, my God, I'm going to die," is a member of it. If you've ever belonged, you never leave.

Jenny had often indicated that she felt lucky (I think in both aspects - that of surviving an aggressive cancer and oddly enough, having had had cancer). She said this in the Australian Story Episode, "In the Pink":

'I don't understand how things work out, and why things work out the way they do. I feel like I've been lucky. I don't understand how cancer works, I don't know why I've been blessed the way I have been.'

Jenny - Australian Story - "In the Pink - Kirrawee - May 2004 (picasa)

and in her Talks:

'I feel I am so lucky and have a wonderful life. I have had some great opportunities through breast cancer to meet some very inspiring people. Geoff and Jo have been a constant source of support for me. Breast cancer has totally changed my life but for the best.'

Relay for Life 2007 - Jenny - Survivor Representative - Sylvania Waters - Sat 28 Apr 2007 (picasa)

The Rainbow Connection - Phil, John, Marj, Jenny, Liz, Noel - Phil passed away shortly after this photo was taken - he often spoke to Jenny about how luck seemed to play a big part in how things worked out, but sometimes you make you own luck - Rely for Life 2003 - Sylvania Waters - Sat 31 May 2003 - (picasa)

As Jenny's International Dragon Boating Career started, she came to the attention of the Media and in the first Newspaper Article she featured in, she was even compared to Lance Armstrong:

Don Iverson, Director of the Health and Productivity Research Center at the University of Wollongong, said that Ms Petterson could be compared to Lance Armstrong, who won the Tour de France after fighting testicular cancer.

'It's almost superhuman,' he said.

Cancer wont slow rowing champion - Sydney Sun Herald - 2 May 2004

She was a little embarrassed by the comparison, but Jo and I were very proud of Jenny and her achievements in her treatment, her sport and her life as breast cancer survivor.

Geoff, Jenny, Grace, Lynn, Betty, Thomas, Grant, Joanne and David - Relay for Life 2007 - Jenny - Survivor Representative - Sylvania Waters - Sat 28 Apr 2007 (picasa)


After Jenny's passing, I had an encounter in the Intensive Care Unit where Jenny left us. Joanne and I had gone back to thank the staff at the St George Hospital and to pickup some scans that had been lost in Jenny's move from the Level 1 to ICU. We spoke to the head ICU nurses (they were between shifts) and we knew both of them from Jenny's time in ICU (and I was well known to them as I had fainted in ICU on Jenny's second day in ICU after the neurosurgery). We talked a little and I mentioned that Jenny did consider herself lucky to have had cancer - as she said herself - it had changed her life for the better. One the nurses questioned this statement and she made me feel a little uneasy for saying what I had said. She could not believe anyone with cancer could consider themselves lucky. Maybe, she had seen too much of the cold harsh reality of cancer in that ICU. Maybe she was right. It did not seem too lucky now that Jenny was gone?

This conversation stuck in my mind for a long time, and I started to question many things. It was not until I came across the following blog post by Doug Miller that I found some peace. Here was a man who had recently been diagnosed with Cancer. He was articulate and in many ways his post offers so much more than Lance's writings on Cancer and Luck. This is probably the most moving piece of writing I have read in my life. I don't have cancer, but I have lived a shared life with it and it's consequences. I can truly emphasise. Here it is. My heart is with you Doug ..

Doug Miller - Colorado Trail San Juan Mountains - 1994 - A Single Path - (blog)

The Lucky Ones by Doug Miller (Wed 23 Sep 2009)

[..] a friend [..] pointed me to Lance Armstrong's book entitled "Its not about the bike" I picked up a copy and quickly read through it. I liked it.

It had a bit much detail focusing on cycling, but that was an aspect of the man that could obviously not be separated from the larger reality of his battle with cancer.

There were portions though that left my mind spinning. Armstrong's description of his diagnosis and the roller coaster of emotions that ensued was painfully raw and hit the mark with a clarity and similarity I could not deny. I myself am walking those darkened and fearful paths as I write these very words.

Out of all the pages a couple simple statements that he made resonated with me in a powerful way.

Armstrong tells of a letter that he received. It was from a man he had never met before. He himself had battled cancer. He wrote Armstrong to acknowledge his support and positive thoughts. As he finished the letter he made a strange statement that confused Armstrong. He wrote, "you probably do not understand this right now, but we are the lucky ones".

What? How is anyone with cancer lucky? It is devastating. It not only has the potential to steal your life, but also has the destructive potential to steal your Hope. Those words are haunting. Lucky? We are the lucky ones. This brotherhood of suffering is somehow lucky..........blessed?

It is diametrically opposed to any sort of sane thinking that those outside of this brotherhood would agree with. It actually is an almost dangerous statement. As if you say it as you are waking off a cliff without a safety net. A statement such as that redefines everything. Life. Death. And even Hope.

But as I walk this path, and simultaneously encounter life in all its beauty and harshness, I find myself agreeing. "We are the lucky ones". I am lucky. I say those words with a part of me screaming, "how dare you, how can you say that". But it is true. The perspective that cancer gives to life is unbelievable. It has the power to refine you. Your thoughts. Your direction. Your focus.

It is as if you look at life for the first time. Everything is different. Nothing is the same. Everything is turned on edge, revealing a freshness and an urgency that is not seen outside of cancer. If this clarity does exist in our normal lives, it is missed. Overshadowed by the busyness of life. By worthless and empty pursuits.

Another quote from Armstrong's book was this: "Cancer is not about dying, it is about living" What a statement.

Most would argue against it. But those that walk this path find it to be true. Life after diagnosis becomes "alive". It becomes real. It is as if you can grasp it with your own hands, breath it in, consume it.

Oh if I could have had this view earlier in life. I knew that it existed. I sensed it. I chased it. Through the mountains. Through relationships. In the woods and fields of my youth. It was a whisper in the words of poets. And a reflection on the horizon as the sun slipped out of view. But i did not catch it until cancer became my reference. My reality.

We who are members of this brotherhood and sisterhood of suffering are the lucky ones, because now we can truly live. And Love. And Hope. And I dare to say Dream. They are painful dreams, haunted with the shadows of uncertainty, but they are vivid dreams. Passionate dreams. Dreams that leave your heart aching, your soul longing. We are released from the fear of death. Our finite lives are bared.

We come face to face with our mortality and realize that life is looking back at us. Raw and uncertain. But ALIVE none the less. There were days before cancer that I despaired. At times despising my life. But now I am hungry to live. I long to live. Whether that time be long or short, I hold tight to life and all of its glorious agony.

Posted by Doug Miller at 9:11 PM

Decisions - Paulo Coelho

tree - Alexandria (Mon 27 Jun 2016)

Paul Coelho on Decisions:

The warrior of the light is terrified when faced with important decisions.

"That is too great for you," says one friend. "Go on, be brave," says another. And his doubts only increase.

After some days of anxiety, he withdraws into a corner of his tent, where he usually sits to mediate and pray. He sees himself in the future. He sees the people who will benefit and lose out because of his actions. He does not wish to cause unnecessary suffering, but nor will he abandon the path.

So the warrior allows the decision to appear. If he must say yes, then he shall bravely say it. If he must say no, then he shall say so without fear.

[Another first day of the rest of my life]

via The moment to decide by Paul Coelho.

A Familiar Path - Doug Miller / A Single Path (Sat 19 Sep 2009)

Skate Cones - Hyde Park / London (Sun 18 Aug 2013)
Doug Miller (*) writes On Life (*):

A single step (*) repeated hundreds and thousands of times would eventually arrive at the end. It did not take superhuman (*) strength (*) or a talent (*) that most do not have. It took a steadfast commitment (*). Step by step as the miles added up and the challenges (*) slipped by. Today just like those days on the trail, is another step. Tomorrow yet another. I walk this journey (*) in anticipation (*) of the end, but I also know that there is much to learn (*) in the process (*). It is the process (*), no matter what the hardship (*) where great beauty (*) and adventure (*) can be found.

via A Familiar Path (*) by Doug Miller (*).

I found this today in a search for a friend. It was also for me to remember the path we have taken, and how far we have come, over the last 4 and 1/2 years. I said this once before, about the blog this quote came from, that is the single most moving piece of writing (*) I have ever read. It still is and I am glad I looked for it and found it again today.

Stuck in a Moment performed by The Edge and Bono - Letterman (Fri 18 Jul 2011)

Why Letterman was so good. In all the zaniness, there were incredibly touching, revealing interviews and live performances, this being just one ..

There are plenty of moments in life and most we move through as we should. Some we miss and let it pass us by. And there are those where we can get stuck. Inspired and written about the sad and tragic loss of a good friend ..

"It's just a moment
This time will pass"

Stuck in a Moment (more) performed by The Edge and Bono - Letterman (18 Jul 2011)
Saw this on the TV when I was in New York. It was shown in a repeat episode while the show was on a summer break. Thought to myself at the time I would put it here when I get back. Here it is. The music starts at around the 2m:20s mark. The interview before this is worth listening to BTW.

Stuck in a Moment Lyrics

I'm not afraid
Of anything in this world
There's nothing you can throw at me
That I haven't already heard
I'm just trying to find
A decent melody
A song that I can sing
In my own company

I never thought you were a fool
But darling, look at you. Ooh.
You gotta stand up straight, carry your own weight
'Cause tears are going nowhere baby

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And now you can't get out of it
Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

I will not forsake
The colors that you bring
The nights you filled with fireworks
They left you with nothing
I am still enchanted
By the light you brought to me
I listen through your ears
Through your eyes I can see

You are such a fool
To worry like you do.. Oh
I know it's tough
And you can never get enough
Of what you don't really need now
My, oh my

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it
Oh love, look at you now
You've got yourself stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it
Oh lord look at you now
You've got yourself stuck in a moment
And you cant get out of it

I was unconscious, half asleep
The water is warm 'til you discover how deep
I wasn't jumping, for me it was a fall
It's a long way down to nothing at all

You've got to get yourself together
You've got stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it
Don't say that later will be better
Now you're stuck in a moment
And you can't get out of it

And if the night runs over
And if the day won't last
And if your way should falter
Along this stony pass

It's just a moment
This time will pass

Yours Truly - I.Vortex - YouTube - Friedrichsfeld (Thu 02 Feb 2012)

Yours Truly - I.Vortex (*) - Youtube (*) - Friedrichsfeld (Thu 02 Feb 2012)
Yours Truly Lyrics

Hello Spring, my dear old friend,
long time not seen, I got bad news.
It's been a bad time, a true light is gone,
one lost the other and has to move on

Hi Summer, you shining one
I have given my best, to prepare the earth for you
One remembers how the other cared for flowers
now they must grow without the caring hand

Yours truly, the winter (Yours truly)
Yours truly, the spring (Yours truly)
Yours truly, the summer (Yours truly)
Every season is a death within

Greetings autumn, master of colors
I have been a good one, with peaceful long nights
One sits in the garden, watching the stars
Missing that voice that shared all the dreams

Yours truly, the winter (Yours truly)
Yours truly, the spring (Yours truly)
Yours truly, the summer (Yours truly)
Every season is a death within

Yours truly, the winter (Yours truly)
Yours truly, the spring (Yours truly)
Yours truly, the summer (Yours truly)
Every season is a death within

Yours truly, the winter (Yours truly)
Yours truly, the spring (Yours truly)
Yours truly, the summer (Yours truly)
Every season is a death within

Good day, grumpy ol' winter
have mercy with the world, don't be that cold,
one's lying down without falling asleep.
Where is the other, seeking for the warmth?

Have not quite got the lyrics exactly right, but close. Will tidy up when I get a chance.

Thanks Uwe. I often listen to the demo version you sent me this time last year. I really like the ending on this one. I thank you and I.Vortex for Remembering Jenny.

On Outlook - Hamlet / jeninbhutan (Thu 15 Dec 2016)

Mona Lisa and Friend - Newtown (Mon 26 Dec 2016)

William Shakespeare on Outlook:

there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so

via Embracing Impermanence by JenInBhutan.

Andrew - Cafe ism / Wilson Street / Newtown (Mon 19 Nov 2012)

Andrew - Cafe ism (*) / Wilson Street / Newtown (Mon 19 Nov 2012)
Met up with Andrew today, a long time friend and work colleague. Could not work out the last time we met since January 2010. It was nice to catch up and I could not help but make a few photos.