A Familiar Path - "A Walk to Remember" ..

A Familiar Path by Doug Miller:

[..] A single step repeated hundreds and thousands of times would eventually arrive at the end. It did not take superhuman strength or a talent that most do not have. It took a steadfast commitment. Step by step as the miles added up and the challenges slipped by. Today just like those days on the trail, is another step. Tomorrow yet another. I walk this journey in anticipation of the end, but I also know that there is much to learn in the process. It is the process, no matter what the hardship where great beauty and adventure can be found.

Jenny and Joanne - Main Range Walk - Path to Blue Lake - 06 Jan 2002

Around New Year, each year for the last 10 years we have traveled to the Snowy Mountains area (around Perisher Valley and Jindabyne) to get away from the Christmas/New Year Crowds, to relax and take in the sights of the Snowy Mountains.

Each year we would take the opportunity to challenge ourselves to the 22km Main Range Summit walk, to not only witness the beauty of the mountains, but to test ourselves and to benchmark our fitness to the previous years effort. This was particularly important for Jenny. She and we could see what effect her cancer and treatment was having on her physical body, for the previous 12 months.

Wild Flowers - Snowy Mountains Main Range Walk - 29 Dec 2005

Some years were easy, while others were more challenging, particularly the long and steep uphill leg from the Blue Lake to the Summit of Mt Kosciuszko.

One of the more difficult years for Jenny was January 2008 when a side-effect from one her treatments, which caused soreness and tenderness of her feet (Hand-Foot Syndrome), made it very difficult for her to walk even a few steps. This did not stop her and she did the 22km walk, one painful step at a time. I was so proud of her, though, in typical Jenny style she thought it to be nothing unusual.

Snowy Mountains Main Range Walk - 29 Dec 2005

On the first day of this year, we did the Main Range walk, for what would turn out to be our last time together. While temperatures in Sydney were the typical balmy 30's, the weather in the Mountains had turned and there was a wind chill factor of -15 deg C. This was our last day to do the walk, we were prepared with Jenny and Joanne wearing seven layers, with beanies and gloves. We decided to at least walk the first 6 km to the Blue Lake and make a decision there whether to continue on for the next 16km or return.

For all of us, the conditions were challenging. However, for Jenny the extra challenges which revolved around dealing with the many issues relating to her cancer, the most obvious for this higher altitude challenge, being the tumors in her lungs. Little did we know at that stage the cramping in her stomach she had experienced a few times over the previous month or so, would be the early signs of countless tumors in her liver, which would be diagnosed in early March 2009. On top that, was also the embryonic stages of a tumor in her brain, which would manifest itself as a 4cm tumor in early June 2009.

Jenny and Joanne - Lake Albina - 29 Dec 2005

Needless to say, this was the most difficult Main Range Summit challenge for all of us, and for Jenny in particularly. She was short of breath, even on the small downhill sections. As we reached the Blue Lake, we waited quite a while and we left it up to Jenny to decide what we should do. Eventually, she said she felt she could do it, so off we nervously set, in very strong head winds, to the Summit. We stopped at Lake Albina on the way.

Jenny & Joanne - Lake Albina - Mt Kosciuszko Main Range Summit Walk - 01 Jan 2009

Every step was a struggle for Jenny and she did amazingly well to make it to the Summit. As usual we would take our Summit top photos - this time there was no one there (usually there would be 20-30 people) as we had taken twice as long as normal and we had reached the Summit hours after everyone had headed back to their starting points.

Jenny and Joanne at the Mt Kosciuszko Summit - Mt Kosciuszko Main Range Summit Walk - 01 Jan 2009

When I read the little story (it was a few weeks ago now) from where the above quote comes from, I thought of Jenny initially, and later Joanne and myself. I think it has helped me understand, that we were not only doing this walk each year (with each year being a "step") for the physical beauty and challenge of the Mountains, but also for the beauty that can be found in the "process" of doing something like this each year. I think it also helps me appreciate the difficult "steps" that Joanne and I take each day, without Jenny's physical presence in our lives - but knowing we are "getting on with life" with the support of our family and friends, and knowing many great experiences and adventures lay ahead for us and those in our lives. We know this to be true - we have already witnessed this in Prague in late August 2009 - "Touched by Jenny".

Joanne, David and I will do the Main Range walk this year, probably on the 1 January 2010. We know Jenny will be with us every step of the way.

Jenny and Joanne - Main Range Walk - 06 Jan 2002
Just another little story of perserverance and determination from Jenny.

Jenny near Mt Kosciuszko Summit - 06 Jan 2002

The Climb - Our Main Range Summit Challenge

The Climb - The Main Range Range Summit Challenge

Dragons Abreast Ausrtralia Seminar
Cancer Council Queensland
Tuesday 31st August, 2010

Next is a little story that covers another aspect of Jenny’s Life – our annual trip to the Snowy Mountains and our Main Range Mt Kosciuszko Summit Challenge.

The Colorado Trail is just short of 500 miles in length. Doug Miller spent a summer (approximately 60 days) hiking the trail. In August 2009 he was diagnosed with Cancer.

A few months into his journey with Cancer, he wrote about the lessons he had learnt on the Colorado Trail and how they paralleled the lessons learnt on his journey with Cancer.

I read his story a few months after Jenny had passed away. It resonated with me and I could relate to it, in particular the following quote:

"A single step repeated hundreds and thousands of times would see us eventually arrive at the end.

It did not take superhuman strength or a talent that most do not have. It took a steadfast commitment.

Step by step, the miles added up and the challenges slipped by. Today just like those days on the trail, is another step.

Tomorrow is yet another.

I walk this journey in anticipation of the end, but I also know that there is much to learn in the process.

It is the process, no matter what the hardship where great beauty and adventure can be found."

Doug Miller on the Colorado Trail
Around New Year, for the last 11 years we have travelled to the Snowy Mountains area, around Perisher Valley and Jindabyne, to get away from the holiday crowds, to relax and take in the sights of the Snowy Mountains.

Each year we would also take the opportunity to challenge ourselves to the 22km Main Range Summit walk, to not only witness the beauty of the mountains, but to test ourselves and to benchmark our fitness to the previous year’s effort. This was particularly important for Jenny as she, and we also, could see what effect her cancer and treatment was having on her physical body, for the previous 12 months.

Some years were easy, while others were more challenging, particularly the long and steep uphill leg from the Blue Lake to the Summit of Mt Kosciuszko.

One of the more difficult years for Jenny was January 2008 when a side-effect from one her treatments, which caused soreness and tenderness of her feet (Hand-Foot Syndrome), made it very difficult for her to walk even a few steps. This did not stop her and she did the 22km walk, one painful step at a time. We were so proud of her, though, in typical Jenny style she thought it to be nothing unusual or out of the ordinary.

On the first day of 2009, we did the Main Range walk, for what would turn out to be our last time together. While temperatures in Sydney were the typical balmy 30's, the weather in the Mountains had turned and there was a wind chill factor of minus 15 C. This was our last chance to do the walk. We had tried a day earlier, but were not prepared for the cold. This time we were prepared, with Jenny and Joanne wearing seven layers, as well as beanies and gloves. We decided to at least walk the first 6 km to the Blue Lake and make a decision there whether to continue on for the next 16km or return.

For all of us, the conditions were challenging. However, for Jenny there were extra challenges which revolved around dealing with the many issues relating to her cancer, the most obvious for this higher altitude challenge, being the tumors in her lungs. Little did we know at that stage the cramping in her stomach she had experienced over the previous month or so, would be the early signs of countless tumors in her liver, which would be diagnosed in early March 2009. On top that, was also the embryonic stages of a tumor in her brain, which would manifest itself as a 4cm tumor in early June 2009.

This was definitely the most difficult Main Range challenge for us all, Jenny in particular. She was short of breath, even on the small downhill sections. As we reached the Blue Lake, we rested quite a while and we left it up to Jenny to decide what we should do. Eventually, she said she felt she could do it, so off we nervously set, in very strong head winds, to the Summit. We stopped at Lake Albina on the way.

Every step was a struggle for Jenny and she did amazingly well to make it to the Summit of Mt Kosciuszko. As usual we would take our Summit top photos - this time there was no one there (usually there would be 20-30 people) as we had taken twice as long as normal and we had reached the Summit hours after everyone had headed back to their starting points.

When I read the little story from where the leading quote comes from, I thought of Jenny initially, and later Joanne and myself.

I think it has helped me understand, that we were not only doing this walk each year (with each year being a "step") for the beauty and physical challenge of the Mountains, but also for the beauty that can be found in the "process" of doing something like this each year.

It also helped me appreciate Jenny’s approach to life, her journey with cancer and how she embraced it to live a wonderful and fulfilling life, and to achieve her dreams.

I think it also helps me appreciate the difficult "steps" that Joanne and I take each day, without Jenny's physical presence in our lives - but knowing we are "getting on with life" with the support of our family and friends, and knowing many great experiences and adventures lay ahead for us and those in our lives.

We did the Main Range Summit walk this year, on the 1 Jan 2010 (more here). Jenny was with us every step of the way.

Just another little story of perseverance and determination from Jenny. Jenny guides and inspires us from above.

In closing, we would like to take the opportunity to thank Dragons Abreast. It has provided many opportunities for Jenny, Joanne and I. We are grateful for the experiences in life Dragons Abreast has presented us. We encourage you to embrace these opportunities and experiences also.

The Climb - Power Point Slides (pdf)
The Climb - Power Point Slides (pdf)
The Climb - Power Point Slides (pdf)

Learning - Seth Godin (Tue 21 Mar 2017)

Untitled - Chippen Lane / Chippendale (Sat 25 Mar 2017)

Seth Godin on Learning:

Learn something new and difficult and valuable. Learn it today and continue learning it tomorrow.

via Three simple and difficult steps by Seth Godin.

Inspire Award 2020 - Pacific Dragons - Nicola Frowen (Sun 08 Nov 2020)

This is the 11th year of the Inspire Award. The award was created in the memory of club member Jenny Petterson who passed away in June 2009. Jenny was the slightly older identical twin of Joanne and Geoff was her Husband.

Jenny had a long journey in life with breast cancer and all the complications that come with a persistent and aggressive cancer. It was through this journey she found paddling. It gave her a chance to be like everyone else and she loved the training, competing and being part of a team. She paddled at the highest level, even up to the last month of her life. She was an inspiration to many through her actions and approach to life with cancer. She was a speaker for the Breast Cancer Network of Australia and spoke regularly to various groups in the community.

To remember Jenny, and to promote and acknowledge inspirational qualities within the club, the PD's committee of the day, created what is now the Inspire Award. Nominations are made by club members for their paddling club members. Initially, the Committee would make the decision and put the names forward to Joanne and Geoff as a courtesy. As the years passed, the committee decided to forward recommended nominations and it is now up to Joanne and Geoff to decide the recipient. A big responsibility for us.

This year the Committee received many great nominations made in the true spirit of the award and it is pleasing to see that inspiration is alive and well within the club. Included in the nominations this year were Caitlin Moffat, Esther Wheeler, Hannaleena Mikkonen, Jodie Dunbar, Jo Petterson, Karina Piddington, Nicola Frowen, Rachel Mosen, Vicki Rowcliff, Ian Amos and Geoff Eldridge.

As we look back we can see that the 2019/20 season was somewhat different in a few ways. Bushfires to start with and a global pandemic to follow that reached our shores in March 2020. As a result, it took the Inspire Award in a different direction to what we had hoped at the beginning of the season.

The pandemic showed to us many things that we had taken for granted, and at the same time reintroduced us to another time where life was a little slower, simpler and more local. It showed us that we were resilient and resourceful. For a moment our nation’s leader’s put aside politics and actual lead us through a very difficult time, We responded as individuals to situation the best we could and we were asked to make sacrifices for the long term good of our Nation and its’ people. We were also asked to isolate and distance ourselves and in process we became closer through a share experienced.

At a club-level the response was immediate and very effective. The club leadership recognised the importance of connection in insolation right from the very start and we had many club members contribute Facebook Live content – from their gardens, to kitchens, bikes, virtual drinks, to workspaces and who could ever forget the dextrous virtual “passing” of a toilet roll (no pun intended) across the club’s membership in insolation. We even had virtual single craft time-trials.

Our club leadership stepped up in these difficult times and provided a safe and inclusive environment for all club members to feel connected in a virtual way, since we could not interact in our usual way.

It took teamwork from our club leadership to quickly devise and implement a plan. Inspirational leadership ignites a spark within those they care for. The recipient of this year’s Inspire Award was a person who shone a bright and optimistic light on the club’s response as it evolved with the everchanging requirements of the pandemic response. She provided hope and that spark for many to act and I was one. There is not another person that has had a bigger impact on Jo and my lives, than this year’s Inspire Award recipient - Nicola Frowen. Congratulations Nicola.

We have known Nicola for many years now and well remember when she arrived as a new paddler supporting a friend who wanted to try paddling. Luckily for us, Nicola stayed while her friend moved on. Jo and I, as well as many here, have shared so many great experiences with her over the subsequent years both here and abroad. Working in the travel industry she has always had a hand in our travel arrangements one way or another and has kept us all very organised.

We have seen her grow as an inspirational paddler, coordinator, coach, leader and mentor. She recognises potential and opportunities for club members to contribute and is not afraid to suggest people to take on roles and undertake tasks. She believes in you and will support you. Here are what other club members have contributed.

From Caitlin:

Nicola has supported me the whole way through this accidental/last minute President situation. If she was not as generous with her time and knowledge, I would genuinely be lost. Every time I have asked for help, she has been there for me regardless of the millions of things she has going on.

Nicola's commitment to the club is like an iceberg, most people only see 10%. Her passion for our club and its members is unrivalled. It is all of that and more that continuously inspires me to be a better paddler, a committed club member and an outstanding President.

From Steve:

Nicola has a seemingly tireless energy, passion and enthusiasm for the PD's. Is always working on 'something' for the club be it as a coach, committee member, paddler or just assisting to keep things running over the last few months with the Covid-crisis. I might be seen to be slightly biased, but I am really speaking objectively and from personal 'observations'...!

Others added:

• Nicola is completely committed to ensuring that the club is training well and working together. Her encouragement before and after a race is motivating.
• from Nicola’s support across all paddling codes, words of encouragement and push to help our sport get back to the water is inspiring Nicola goes above and beyond in so many ways, most unseen by the club, to make things happen.
• Nicola has put in so much time into her own training and also to coaching others to better the club and has put in a lot of time to organise events etc

Congratulations Nicola. Thank you for everything. You are and always will be an inspiration.

2011 Inspire Award - Pacific Dragons (Sat 16 Jul 2011)

Geoff, Lisa, Nicola and Joanne - 2011 Inspire Award Winners - Lisa and Nicola (Sat 16 Jul 2011)
Lisa, Jenny and Nicola - PD's Women Post Final Win Celebration - CNY 2008 - Darling Harbour / Sydney (Thu 06 Nov 2004)

Jo and I thank Pacific Dragons for Jenny's Memory to be remembered through the annual presentation of the Inspire Award (*).

Jo and I were honoured to present the 2011 Inspire Award (*) to Nicola Frowen and Lisa Green at the Pacific Dragons AGM held on Sat 16 Jul 2011.

My nomination for this award follows. As you will read, in many ways this award was a personal thank you to both Lisa and Nicola for the contribution they have made to helping me find my place in a new world.

From: Geoff
Date: 17 June 2011 1:21:04 PM AEST
To: "geoffeldridge@yahoo.com.au"
Subject: Inspire Award (*) Nomination ..

My nomination is for two people - Nicola Frowen and Lisa Green.

Why two people? I have thought about the nomination long and hard. For me, it came down to Lisa and Nicola, but when I started to write “why” for each of them, I found was virtually writing the same thing. As you will come to see, if you have not already realised – they are twins and that has meaning and implication.

Nicola and Lisa are actively involved in the running of the club, both from an administrative and paddling perspective. Both are long term committee members filling important roles, ensuring the short-term vitality and long term viability of the club. They are goal driven and process oriented, and constantly and consistently achieve results, through hard-work, effort and persistence. They are both adaptable and willing, and they will take on ad hoc and often difficult tasks at short notice. They are always approachable and fulfil the responsibilities in a collaborative and friendly way.

Lisa and Nicola have made vital contributions to the club as coaches and managers. Lisa and Nicola as OC6 Coaches – taking many club sessions and coaching the 2011 Takapuna Team. Nicola and Lisa have both helped with the Single Craft sessions. On the Dragon Boat side of things Nicola, with Lisa’s support managed the 2011 Macua bound PD’s Dragon Boat – they performed all the administrative tasks –before, during and after; arranged flights, accommodation, sponsorship, uniforms, etc. In my view we would not have left our shores, if it was not for Nicola and Lisa. The hardest thing about becoming World Champions in Macau, was not crossing the line first, it was actually getting there. Without Nicola’s drive, particularly, our world champion memories would still be just dreams. We cannot thank you enough.

As paddlers, they have excelled this year. Be it, in the Dragon Boat, OC6 or OC1, they have trained with dedication and purpose. This has resulted in PB’s in many areas and rankings in the top echelons of the various crews and craft. In this area they are twins again – often ranking within metres or seconds of each other in the various trials that are conducted for crew selections. In individual events, they are often on each other’s tail in the last metres of an OC1 race. They do all of this in a quiet, humble and modest way. I have seen them have draw confidence from their achievements and they have used them to keep improving – the best is yet to come for both.

It is easy to be inspired by their achievements as Club members. However, from a personal perspective, they have become role models to me – I see them as strong and independent people, and they have helped guide and inspire me as I try to find my place in the world without Jenny. Along with Joanne, both Lisa and Nicola have supported, guided and inspired me – they all already know this. I know Jenny would be touched by the time they have taken to listen to me, the advice they have given and the inspiration they have provided when I have questioned myself during times when I was completely lost in grief and the shock of Jenny’s passing.

When one becomes as actively involved in the clubs running, events and happenings (as Nicola and Lisa have), there are bound to be times that are difficult, and there have been a few such times. I know that they have each supported the other during such times and for that I admire them. For you see, being “twins” means they are best friends and I admire them for that and the “love” they have for each other.

I would like to think that Jenny would support me in my nomination and that the 2011 Inspire Award would be a worthy acknowledgement of Nicola’s and Lisa’s part in making Pacific Dragons what is today (and in the future), but also for helping me find meaning and direction in my life.

Lisa and Nicola - Great Wall / China (Thu 05 Aug 2010)
Jenny and Joanne - Great Wall / China (Thu 06 Nov 2004)

On Photography and Ambiguity - Streetshooter (Thu 29 Oct 2015)

Shroud of Erskine Creek - Water - Erskine Creek / Mount Gower / Lord Howe Island (Mon 22 Oct 2001)

Streetshooter on Photography and Ambiguity:

The thing is, to have all three elements of the self - find and realize your intent. The Eye, Heart and Mind work together to find the subject and realize the intent. The entire process from start to finish is ambiguous and should be allowed to remain that way.

via Streets of Philadelphia … A Visual Diary … Page 28 … Street … Deciphering and Realizing Intent by Streetshooter.

Our group stopped here about half way up Mount Gower to rest and to refuel for the second and more difficult half of our ascent of Mount Gower. For some reason I made a photo of the water with the reflection of the over head canopy and shafts of light breaking through. It was just a photo of the water, I thought. When I saw this photo on my computer screen a few weeks later, I decided it would look better in Black and White and made the transformation. In doing so a beautiful women revealed herself out of the relections in the water. I hope you can see her. Not everyone can. For me I see photos and I see people in photos.

The words Ambiguity and Uncertainity are interesting words. Closely related but very different. I think I can understand and feel the difference. Hence I would like to substitute the word ambiguous above with uncertain. I'm not exactly sure as I feel the word ambiguity has quite a few shades of meaning in that it can be difficult thing or a good thing depending on the context of its application. Post inspired by a engaging discussion with Carla. Thanks Carla.

Remembering Tim - Norwood Park Crematorium / Canberra (Fri 11 Mar 2005)

Tim (my Brother) and Tom (my Dad) - Norwood Park Crematorium / Canberra (Fri 27 Feb 2015)

Today, 10 years on, we Remember Tim:

Timothy Francis Eldridge was born on Wednesday 4 December 1963 in Tamworth NSW. He became the third and youngest child of Thomas and Betty. He had an elder sister, Lynn, spelt with two n's not one as Tim persisted throughout his whole life). Lynn was two years older than Tim. Myself, Geoff being 3 years older was the eldest. His father was an electrical engineer with the Electricity Commision of NSW. The Regional Centre was based in Tamworth and from this office the electricity transmission system in northern NSW grew. The nature of his Father's work often required nights away from home. We all looked forward to Dad's return on Friday Night with a bag of mixed lollies for all.

Lynn and I found as oursleves at school and this gave Tim two years at home with Mum by himself. Mum tells me now that he spent this time playing with the kids across the road. Even at this early age Tim was making friends. I seem to recall also that Tim managed to get a 1/2 day of pre-school (a first in the family). I always felt that this small period with other new kids gave Tim a nice head start when he commenced his schooling at South Tamworth Primary. He was well adjusted for the rigours of school, made friends easily (he was always going to birthday parties) and was a natural at anything he put his mind to.

He started in the top class in Kindy and there he stayed each year through his primary school days (and subsequent educational endeavours). Tim was a also a natural athlete and started playing rugby league at he age of eight, moving quickly onto soccer and then finally hockey (all in one year .. maybe this was a sign of things to come). He played representative hockey for Tamworth at the state champships every June Long Weekend. I even recall him playing under 12 hockey at Lismore when he was only 9. He was a prodigy even then. He also represented the North Western NSW primary school team in Murwullumbah where his team came back as state champions. Another little publicised sporting achievement was middle distance running and I remember him running a low 2 minute 800 meters at the Tamworth Primary Schools Athletic Carnival. A record that was not broken for many years.

The year Tim finished his primary school saw the Eldridge family move from Tamworth to Wagga for Dad's work. This was a tough time for everyone but we all adapted to new environs and our new high school in Wagga called Kooringal High. It was a new school and much smaller than the high school Lynn and I left in Tamworth. Probably 1/4 the size in students and was so new that it did not even have a sixth form in our first year there. Tim as always fitted in very quickily and he found new friends almost instantly. Many of whom are here today.

By the time Tim reached Wagga he had found the game of golf and before long he was swinging a set of clubs out at the Wagga Country Club, across the lake from where we lived. Here he spent many hours fine tuning his tee shots, fairway shots, chips and putts (or spits as his young nephew would subsequently refer, many years later). Golf was to become a life long passion and this was something which always stayed with him. It was only his 94 year old grandfather who thought something was wrong four weeks ago when he percieved Tim had lost interest in his Golf.

Tim breezed through high school and obtained excellent grades with little effort. In his final year he was nominated as perfect (whooops I meant "a prefect") and was voted school vice captain by his peers. For his HSC he studied a couple of hours each night on the floor in front of the TV. To recover from this strenous study regime, he would spend the next day playing 36 holes of golf.

With his HSC behind him Tim entered the University of Sydney and worked his way towards a Civil Engineering degree over a four year period. The first two years of his course, Tim lived at Wesley College, a residential college on the grounds of Sydney University. Here, Tim, along with some of high school buddies quickily adapted to the demanding University life style. Days at the beach, missing lectures, drinking beer, etc. He found new friends quickily and again many are here today. The nucleaus of this group were quickily dubbed the "DAMAGE BOYS" because of the drinking reputation at College Victory Dinners, formals and other ramdon gatherings.

Mid way through his second year, Tim's father Thomas passed away suddenly at the early age of 47 after a sunday afternoon hockey match. It was my job to tell Tim the news that Sunday night. I now remember his numb response to my news. "Where has he gone?" he asked. His fathers death at such a young age for all of us was a defining moment in Tim's life (probably the most defining moment up until last Saturday). It was a difficult time for Tim and the Family. Initially he seemed to cope well, but the next year saw Tim arrive home to Wagga unannounced many times during the university terms. I guess the one lesson (or theory actually I would call it a LAW) Tim would give us today from all this would be to grieve properly, seek support from Family, Friends and professionals and to address the difficult issues these tramatic events have on the fragile human soul.

Anyway, back to Uni, Tim bravely persisted and graduated with honours at the end of 1985. His brief but eventful civil engineering career started with a small but prestigous Civil Engineering Consultating companycalled Wargon, Chapman and Partners. Mr Wargon, a famous Amercican civil engineer appeared to take Tim under his wing and Tim quickily found himself designing car parks, and tall buildings. As well as doing one-off type jobs such as a structural integrity report of the Channel 9 Transmitter Antenna at the Channel 9 Compound, and preliminary designs for the now Sydney Harbour Tunnel.

Tim quickily realised that Civil Engineering was not for him (however a recent rush of activity with home decks shows there was some latent interest in at least some things civil). On the fifth redesign for an Alan Bond tower on the old Waltons site across from the Sydney Town Hall, Tim decided to move on. This gave him the chance to travel for 3 months overseas which took him to many places in Europe, England, particularly London and even India (if I recall correctly).

London was a place to which Tim would return frequently over the rest of his life, the last being July/August last year. The drawcards to London were friends and another life passion I have not yet mentioned, English Football. His favourite team during his schools days was Queens Park Rangers. Though his interested waned when their goalie Phil Parkes defected to my team West Ham in 1977 for a then world record sum of 565,000 pounds. Subsequent years and more recently Tim has been an Arsenal supporter.

On his return in the late 80's Tim persued his ambition for a new career. In this pursuit he found himself in Canberra studying part-time for a degree in Information Systems at the then Canberra College of Advanced Education and working part-time for small scientific software consulting firms. One system I remember was a flight simiulator program driven by data from aircraft black-box recorders.

On graduation from the CCAE Tim started work at Customs and then Department of Veterans Affairs for a record three years. Towards the end of this stint in DVA, Tim bought his house in Griffith, just up from Marnucka. He lived in the house briefly before deciding that a six month stint in Los Angles working on a Telon Related Inventory system was the go. On his return he decided to work in Sydney and here he had stints at NRMA and Westpac. Weekends saw Tim travelling back to his home in Canberra to catch up with friends and to play golf amongst other things. This became too tiring and before long he was back in Canberra fulltime working at the Australian Tax Office and subsequently Customs. His crowning software achievement was an ATO case-actioning tool which I believed was to be a distillation of systems and processes from the many places he had worked.

More recently, Tim returned to DVA where he ventured into web-based systems using packages such as Websphere and Tomcat.

Wherever Tim worked, he took the roles on seriously. He appeared to very much love a process and a set of rules to capture and implement. He believed rules were meant not to be broken (contrary to the majority of the population) and I always thought that he was perfect fit for the ATO. [He had a great sense of what was right and doing it right].

Another constant in Tim's life were his friends and I will always remember his 40th birthday speech where he said the party was not to celebrate his 40th, but more importantly, a chance for his family and friends to get together.

There is so much more to be said. We all have our memories of Tim and I ask you for just one moment to reflect on the good times you had with him ... and to take this forward with you through the tough times ahead.

It is now time to say goodbye to a loving son, brother, grandson, nephew, uncle, friend and colleague. We now know that Tim struggled with a delibertating and destructive illness which he held undercover for many years. I ask you to take the time to consider the strength he showed under this enormous pressure and to admire him for how he lived a relatively normal and happy life, shared with friends and family.

In the end Tim ran out "Puff" as he said and found peace from his illness the only way he knew how. Please forgive him. He asked for this.

Tim, you asked me where Dad had gone. We know that you searched for him high and low. We also now know that you have found him. The search and struggle is complete and that you have found your peace.

You will always have a special place in our hearts and memories. We will miss you.

Love .. Mum, Lynn and Geoff ..

On Change - The Story of Telling (Mon 02 Nov 2015)

Jenny and Geoff - Cape Leveque / Western Australia (Tue 08 May 2001)

The Story of Telling on Change:

the most important driver of change is the willingness to make it happen

via The Opportunity Equation (02 Nov 2015) by The Story of Telling (Berndatte Jiwa).

Most times change is optional - you do or don't do something about it and it is a theme that has appeared here many times over the last 6.5 years. Sometimes change is foisted upon you without choice and often without notice. Again it is up to to you decide whether to do something about it - to become a victim or a survivor. Or you can just try to ignore it somehow, but it will always catch up with you, so this is not a great option. Often it is best to take a little timeout to acknowledge the change, if you can. Ultimately, it is up to you to make the difficult steps to keep moving forward from the place you landed.

More Than a Feeling (Boston) by Igor Presnyakov [YouTube]

More Than a Feeling (Boston) by Igor Presnyakov [Youtube (*)]
More than a feeling
And I begin dreaming


Just amazing!!! Igor's performance, skills and passion are breathtaking. Just love watching his fingers and his face.

Following on from the previous post ..

A Couple of Random Memories: The original Boston version of the song was released in 1976, the year my family moved from Tamworth to Wagga Wagga. Would have been in 4th Form (or Year 10 as it is called now). Just a kid. Remember being very sad to leave Tamworth (we had moved to Tamworth from Goulburn when I was a few weeks short of the age of 2) as it was all I knew (have very few childhood memories before starting school).

Geoff and Lynn - maybe 1963 ? - "Lynn has this photo: one of my earliest memories - sitting on top the lounge having our photo taken." - Tamworth (picasa)
I have always said that while the move was difficult in the initial stages, it was one of best things to happen to me in many ways. It was a quite a formative experience to be separated from everything you had ever known and to have to start all over again. I think it helped me to accept change (particularly when you have no choice - you just have to accept it and make the most of it) and made me more resilent to the impact change can have on you, particular in the early stages of the change (hope that makes sense).

Have been to Boston quite a few times - 1988, 1990, 1991 and 1994. Planning to spend a few days there following Tampa 2011 in August 2011. Been a while, so looking forward to seeing it with another 17 years of life experiences behind me. Had always hoped to run the Boston Marathon which is held on Patriot's Day (3rd Monday of April). I tried to qualify by running the Melbourne Marathon in 1993, but was about 8 mins short of the pre-qualifying time of 3hr 15min (it was a bit easier in those days). Was lucky enough to be in Boston to watch the 1994 Boston Marathon.

Boston Marathon - Boston (Patriot's Day - Mon 18 Apr 1994)
Boston Marathon - Boston (Patriot's Day - Mon 18 Apr 1994)
Boston Marathon - Boston (Patriot's Day - Mon 18 Apr 1994)

My Brother Tim

It's the terror of knowing
What this world is about
Watching some good friends
Screaming let me out
Pray tomorrow - gets me higher
Pressure on people - people on streets

Under Pressure (*) - David Bowie and Queen

Recently posted a video of Annie Lennox and David Bowie singing Under Pressure at the 1992 The Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert at Wembley Stadium. In the post I included the lyrics as I often can't quite make out what is being sung (which is Okay). On listening to the song, the meaning of the above lines were instantly clear to me.

Today is the 7th of March and this is the day we take as the passing of my younger brother Tim on Mon 7th March 2005.

Sadly, Tim found himself in a position (Under Pressure I guess) where he considered the best option was to take his own life in a lonely spot by the side of Lake Burley Griffin, less than a couple of km's from the centre of Canberra's Parlimentary Circle (and where we will shortly participate for our State and Club at the 2011 AusDBF National Dragon Boat Championships). A remarkably powerful statement to make about how he felt about life.

His sudden death and it's nature had a hugh impact on his Family and his close Friends.

There will be always the question Why?, but that is not really important now. We should look to remembering the time we had with Tim and as well as the relationship we had with him. Remember the good times.

It is important also to acknowledge his silent suffering and the nature of his death (part of the reason for writing this post). Anger and Regrets are futile emotions. For me, the most important thing is understanding and forgiveness, something I asked all to embrace from the very first moments. This is far more productive, particularly when combined with a sense of persistence, determination, courage to live our lives to the full, no matter the circumstances.

How we respond to life's twists and turns shapes who we become. Choose to live life to the full, learn (don't be afraid to make mistakes - lots of them actually - you will learn more that way), and become stronger, wiser and more resilent.

Was planning to write more, but finding it a little difficult to express myself clearly. So what I do in these circumstances, is hand it over to the photos and the memories they contain. Don't have too many actually (he avoided camera's for some reason), but here they are ..

Cheers - Jo, Tim, Geoff, Jenny, David, Jenny - Darook Park / Cronulla (Sun 30 Apr 2000)Tim and Grace - Coffs Harbour (25 Dec 2000)Geoff, Jenny, Tim and Jo - Alexandria (18 Nov 2001)Tim, Thomas and Geoff - Bronte (23 Dec 2001)Geoff, Mum and Tim - Wagga Wagga (19 Jan 2002)Tim, Grandpa and Geoff - Malua Bay (07 Dec 2003)Tim and Aunty Erica (*) - Batehaven Book Exchange / Batehaven - (07 Dec 2003)Mum, Tim (London Bound) and Lynn - You must be somewhere in London - Sydney International Airport (01 Jul 2004)Mum, Tim (London Bound) and Geoff - You must be somewhere in London - Sydney International Airport (01 Jul 2004)Photo Poster 1 for Tim's Get Together - Griffith / Canberra (Sat 12 Mar 2005)Photo Poster 2 for Tim's Get Together - Griffith / Canberra (Sat 12 Mar 2005)Photo Poster 3 for Tim's Get Together - Griffith / Canberra (Sat 12 Mar 2005)"Despair" - Canberra (Sat 12 Mar 2005) )
Together Again

One year later I would place the Ashes of Tim and my Father at Canberra's Norwood Crematorium. I had my Father's Ashes moved from Wagga Wagga (another story in itself). Jenny, Jo, Lynn and Erica were there also. Tim travelled a lot and my Aunt always said that he was searching for his Father. After all his searching I could now say to her that they were together again.

Tim and Tom - Norwood Park / Canberra (Fri 10 Mar 2006)Jenny, Geoff, Jo and Lynn - Norwood Park / Canberra (Fri 10 Mar 2006)Jenny, Geoff and Joanne - Norwood Park / Canberra (Fri 10 Mar 2006)Tim and Tom - Norwood Park / Canberra (Fri 10 Mar 2006)-->
A tree overlooking them .. - Norwood Park / Canberra (Fri 10 Mar 2006)

On Art, Life and Death - Matthew Sleeth /SMH (Tue 17 Feb 2015)

"Found - A Heart" - Diggers Beach / Coffs Harbour (Mon 16 Feb 2015)

Matthew Sleeth on the power and influence of Art in our Life:

Art is partly about changing material into thought, but, for many artists, it is also about changing yourself through the process of making the art and moving past the limitations of your daily circumstances.

via Myuran Sukumaran and Andrew Chan have earned a second chance by Matthew Sleeth.

My heart goes out to Myuran and Andrew and their Families and Friends. Their story of transformation and support is inspiring and it is this that I will take from the pain and suffering we witness and feel in ourselves, as their imminent executions unfold before us:

Very few people ever materially change their lives; I mean really change their lives, not just fiddle around the edges. It's very difficult to do and takes a great deal of courage, support and time. [..] The definition of rehabilitation is becoming a better, changed person and both Myu and Andrew have achieved this through their own courage and the support they have received from their community.

It is hard to know what to say in this time. All I think I can say is thank you Myuran and Andrew, your transformations and strength of character inspires me to be a better person in my own life. May you be blessed.

One Stroke by Drew Ginn (29 Apr 2008)

Gondala/One Stroke - Venice - Sep 2009 (picasa)
One Stroke by Drew Ginn (29 Apr 2008):

[..] So what is it to be engaged fully in that one stroke?

After the fact it is difficult to isolate the experience of one stroke from the others. It is challenging to gain clarity on exactly one stroke because it happens in a flow of many more. [..] the dilemma is not just identifying the one, but ensuring it is pure and uncontaminated by the past one’s and future one’s.

The joy of performing the one stroke and immersing in it is challenged by the accumulated nature of the cyclic or repeated experiences. [..]

[W]hat is it to be fully engaged in one stroke[?] Knife-edge comes to mind. [..] the sense of being on a knife-edge is a great description. Less so from the perspective of balance or even match up, it has an essence that finds a cord within that is about effort, ease, maintenance and fatigue.

In fact to see it clearer I notice that the one, perfect one that I see is one of edgy contrast.

It is in a position of precarious, pointedness with a subtle oscillation between more than one element and more then one stroke including the past, present and future.

The elements involve self, team-mates, equipment, water, movement, harmony, mismatch, load, flow, hardness, relaxation, sequences, positions, focuses, emphasis, location, energy, strain, surge, comparison, connection, separation, isolation, effort, ease, understanding, knowledge, risk, exposure, confidence, doubt, poise, purpose, clarity, mistakes, errors, forgiveness, acceptance, love, joy, fear, ambiguity, tension, dynamics, leverage, struggle, difference, compliments, coaching, thoughts, distractions, intentions, actions, results, exchange, change, habits, confusion, satisfaction, uncertainty [..]

One stroke is so hard to describe, I know it when I feel it and some times I know it when I see it. Maybe the one is not perfect but we make it so because we like the idea of it being better than it really was.

The experience of rowing fascinates me because it has so many things it relates too. What I do know is that when I am engaged things change. The world looks and feels different and it gives me hope. Giving in to it, but not letting it get the better of you is critical. That may sound strange but there is something about being part of the boat, the movement, the other person, and the surroundings that makes so much sense of everything. [..]

Accessing the moment is not just about rowing, but I find it palatable to articular the action of rowing in a way that means something. One stroke at a time is a cliché and like one shot at a time it has meaning if you connect with it in some way. [..]

One stroke then is like every other stroke and they in turn they are like the days of life we live. It is just an experience how I choose to judge it or them is my choice. Years ago I watch a video the Searle Brothers made about their 1992 Olympic Games success in the coxed pair. In the video Greg spoke of a simple activity they did which involved calling out better or worse as a measure for each stroke they rowed. The idea I guess was to have more, better strokes and as such you develop accountability and improvement.

One stroke means different things and the reasons are varied. What enables full engagement in one stroke or in the moment is also varied. [..] One stroke unfolds and expands. Its meaning is huge and the vastness of experience is inspiring. Being at one in one is the art to rowing I suppose which really isn’t anything new, but repeated. So you see, like me, a cliché can mean so much which it does. [..]

Another Favourite Blog Post from Drew Ginn. A truly amazing description of rowing[/paddling] and as is usual with Drew's writings I can relate to in many ways.

I always find the strokes from the start to transition are the easiest to remember. Darren calls them the "glory strokes" and in many ways they set the boat up for the rest of the effort. Get it right and you are on the way. Get it wrong and you are on the back foot trying to recover. Can also remember some lift calls in various efforts over the years.

Love the description of 'Knife-Edge' and 'Edgy Contrast'. I often feel that when the effort is such that things seem to be edgy, that is where we need to be. Always wary of that that perfect feeling.

Great Southern Land - Icehouse - Australia Day Live Concert / Canberra (Tue 25 Jan 2005)

Great Southern Land - Icehouse - Australia Day Live 2005 / Canberra (Tue 25 Jan 2005)
City on a rainy day, down in the harbor
Watching as the gray clouds shadow the bay

Great Southern Land - Icehouse


A pretty random post, but it has put a smile on my face and was fun to put together.

Heard this song on the radio on the way to training yesterday evening. It's a song you will often hear on the radio on a stormy afternoon or evening.

The storm clouds were looming as we got closer to Bank Street and it had started to lightly rain. The wind came up and the air became colder, and in combination with the songs haunting lyrics, driving beat of the bass and drums, and the memories it evoked, it made me tingle and I was covered in goose bumps.

The music and lyrics seem to capture the feelings and mental images that I carry with me, to be and feel Australian.

Australian Parliament House - Canberra - eight years ago today (Sun 17 Mar 2002)
I guess that's all reasonably vague, but feelings for me are difficult to describe - much in the same way Dennis Denuto demonstrates so passionately, yet unconvincingly, in the classic Australian Movie The Castle:

It's the vibe of the thing, your Honour.

The vibe or the gist are terms I use a lot to cover for my inability to express my feelings or what I am thinking :-) Dennis is my hero. Here he is at his definitive best:

The Castle - in the Federal and High Courts (youtube)
Some random memories. The song goes back to 1982, which would have been my last year of full-time uni. I did see The Flowers (Iva Davies predecessor to Icehouse) at the University Union in the 2nd Term of 1980 and then a few weeks later back in Wagga Wagga for the University Holidays. Was excited to have some friends, from my school days in Wagga Wagga, to be the local supporting act. For some reason I asked Jenny whether we could have the song played at our Wedding Reception. She liked it and it was played during the night and as a filler as we said our farewells at the end of the evening. It was put on repeat as I we took a lot longer than we had planned.

Great Southern Land Lyrics

Standing at the limit of an endless ocean
Stranded like a runaway, lost at sea
City on a rainy day, down in the harbor
Watching as the gray clouds shadow the bay

Looking everywhere 'cause I had to find you
This is not the way that I remember it here
Anyone will tell you, it's a prisoner island
Hidden in the summer for a million years

Great southern land
Burned you black

So you look into the land and it will tell you a story
Story 'bout a journey ended long ago
If you listen to the motion of the wind in the mountains
Maybe you can hear them talking like I do
"They're gonna betray you, they're gonna forget you
Are you gonna let them take you over that way"

Great southern land, great southern land
You walk alone like a primitive man
And they make it work with sticks and bones
See their hungry eyes, it's a hungry home

I hear the sound of the stranger's voices
I see their hungry eyes, their hungry eyes
Great southern land, great southern land
They burned you black, black against the ground

Standing at the limit of an endless ocean
Stranded like a runaway, lost at sea
City on a rainy day, down in the harbor
Watching as the gray clouds shadow the bay

Looking everywhere 'cause I had to find you
This is not the way that I remember it here
Anyone will tell you, it's a prisoner island
Hidden in the summer for a million years

Great southern land, in the sleeping sun
You walk alone with the ghost of time
They then burned you black, black against the ground
And they make it work with rocks and sand

I hear the sound of the stranger's voices
I see their hungry eyes, their hungry eyes
Great southern land, great southern land
You walk alone, like a primitive man

You walk alone with the ghost of time
And they burned you black
Yeah, they burned you black
Great southern land
Great southern land
Great southern land
Great southern land

You might be able to guess why I picked this particular youtube clip of Great Southern Land. Two weeks to Nationals. Canberra here we come .. really looking forward to the racing with my team mates and catching up with all our friends from right across Australia.

Lake Burley Griffin Sunset - Black - Canberra (02 Aug 2002 *)