Inspire Award 2012 - Pacific Dragons - Tony "Mouse" Pound (Sat 21 Jul 2012)

Geoff, Tony (Mouse) and Joanne – Inspire Award 2012 / PD’s Award Night - AB Hotel / Glebe (Sat 21 Jul 2012)
Inspire Award 2012 - Pacific Dragons - Tony "Mouse" Pound (Sat 21 Jul 2012)

A few words (*) and a short video (*) after Tony "Mouse" Pound was presented with the 2012 Inspire Award ..

Joanne and I would like to thank Pacific Dragons (*) for Honouring Jenny’s Memory (*) with the Annual Presentation of the Inspire Award (*) – this being the 3rd time it has been presented since she left us (*) on Tue 30 Jun 2009.

We congratulate Tony Pound ("Mouse") the 2012 Inspire Award Recipient.

We know Jenny would be smiling from above and would no doubt be wondering, like the rest of us here "How’s Mouse's Mother's Chooks" are.

We also like the direction of the award has taken.

Being an Annual Award it becomes something of an Anniversary for Joanne and I to celebrate and remember Jenny's life, as the Club and its Members recognise the Achievements of one it's member - Mouse for the 2011/2012 season.

We hope it is also an opportunity for all of us to remember and honour those that have been close to us and have influenced our own lives but are no longer with us.

We also hope it is a time to acknowledge those close to us who are facing their own challenges in life. We hope Jenny's life can be an example as to how to live a fulfilling life with a life-threatening illness as well as provide some hope, belief and inspiration to face the challenges and changes that lay ahead.

So, as it is with all Anniversaries, it is a time reflect on the year just passed and to celebrate on what has been achieved and so tonight we celebrate Mouse's Achievements since coming to the club two seasons ago.

I think, more importantly, for Anniversaries, it is a time to look to the future and set new goals.

This can be challenging as often the path is full of obstacles as well as self-doubts. It almost always requires change, which can be step into the unknown. This is all risky business and the fear of failure and making mistakes can quickly put a stop to all good intentions.

I think those people who inspire us often overcome these obstacles and fears, with the common theme in all of their actions, being the word Belief (*), which is something Jenny had plenty of.

Belief gives us a purpose and intent as we strive towards a goal.

A photographer I follow recently wrote [Alex Coghe (*)] about belief in the context of photography, but it can be applied to all aspects of our lives. It is succinct and goes:

"If you believe, you are stronger and the light will reward you."

Basedy on my own life experiences I know this to be true [A longer version here (*)].

We congratulate you all on another great year with Pacific Dragons.

Finally, we thank you and the Club for the Amazing Experiences that are created for us and we share together. For you see as Seth Godin wrote:

"The experiences we create [and share] are the moments that define us."

We look forward to the season ahead and we hope you are having ..

"The Time of Your Life."

We Remember Jenny - The Time of Your Life..

Remembering Jenny - Time of Your Life / Greenday - Youtube (Sat 21 Jul 2012)
Live Long and Prosper .. Geoff and Joanne (Sat 21 Jul 2012)

Postscript (Mon 23 Jul 2012): I wanted to add the following quote (*) into the video but did not have the time to work out. So here it is ..

Give me the courage, tenacity & positivity to change that which I can... (with a smile on my face!) (15 Jun 2009)

Give me the serenity, humility & tolerance to accept that which I cannot... (16 Jun 2009)

And give me the wisdom, humbleness & strength to know the difference. (17 Jun 2009)

Sandhill Warrior (Rob Rowland-Smith)

Labels: Belief, Inspire Award, Pacific Dragons, Sat 21 Jul 2012, Remembering Jenny, Jenny Petterson, Sandhill Warrior, Change

RPM 38 - Track 3 - True Believer by E-Type

RPM 38 - Track 3 - True Believer (w) by E-Type
and another version ..
RPM 38 - Track 3 - True Believer (w) by E-Type (Jorg Schmid Remix)
One of my Favourite RPM Tracks. This one always made me work the hills a little harder than many of the other Track 3 Songs from other RPM Releases. The puddle of sweat below my bike in the studio was well and truly on the way by the end of this track.

RPM 38 (Q108)

1. Pack Ride: Hold On (KT Tunstall)
2. Pace: Bridge Over Troubled Water “Love To Infinity Radio Mix” (Hannah Jones)
3. Hills: True Believer “True Version” (E-Type)
4. Mixed Terrain: Read My Mind (The Killers)
5. Intervals: Runnin’ Wild (Airbourne)
6. Speed Work: Everything (Tiesto feat. Jes)
7. Mountain climb: Behind The Cow (Scooter)
8. Ride Home: Won’t Go Home Without You (Maroon 5)
9. Stretch: Glad You’re Here (Macy Gray feat. Fergie)

RPM 38, Track 3, True Believer, is a hugely motivating song with big contrast and big energy. Riders have to believe in themselves and this song provides inspiration to do so.

True Believer Lyrics

I am here and now because of you
You are the reason I do what I do
Like a phantom when you call me I'll be there
Any time that I'm around you shouldn't fear
Because of you,
That's what I do
Come on, Come on
Because of you
I'm a true Believer

I'm a true believer
I'm with you through the night
You're my inspiration in life
I'm a true believer
So don't give up the fight
You're my inspiration in life

(I'm a true believer
Gimmy Gimmy Gimmy)

Give me, Give me everything you got
You and I can take it to the top
Like the superheroes we can save the day
Let the music take us somewhere far away
Because of you (cause of yoooou)
That's what I do (what I do)
Come on, Come on
Because of you
(I'm a true believer)

I'm a true believer
I'm with you through the night
You're my inspiration in life
I'm a true believer
So don't give up the fight
You're my inspiration in life

I'm a true believer
I'm with you through the night
You're my inspiration in life

I'm a true believer
I'm with you through the night
You're my inspiration in life
I'm a true believer
So don't give up the fight
You're my inspiration in life

I'm a true believer
I'm with you through the night
You're my inspiration in life
I'm a true believer
So don't give up the fight
You're my inspiration in life

I'm a true believer

On Life Purpose - Hands Clean - Alanis Morissette / Live from Abbey Road (YouTube)

Hands Clean - Alanis Morissette (*) / Live from Abbey Road Live (*) [Youtube (*)]
At the end of the first song Hands Clean (*), Alanis gives this amazing calm and lucid insight into fame and her life purpose. Here it is:

[On] Fame. At this point I would say that it is a planetary value - wealth, fame, power at the cost of everything else.

So I think that value being shared around the planet creates in people this thought that if I am famous, I will be happy.

And what I have come to see is that fame only amplified that which was there already.

So if I was depressed or I if I was insecure or if I was angry or whatever it was it just amplified it.

It made everything bigger and it did not sort of give, give me what it had been sort of purported to be able to give.

And so there was this great disillusionment.

[On Life Purpose] At this point in my life I am clearer that I share music because it is part of my life purpose.

To write it is, the act of writing it is for me and the act of sharing it is so that other people can make it their own - they can derive comfort, inspiration or whatever they want to derive from it.

So it becomes an offering of some kind and because of that I can do it and I can work really hard.

If I were singularly doing it to just be in the public eye for gratuitous reasons, than I would probably last about an hour.

This was recorded sometime in 2008, I am guessing. I saw it late one night on the ABC in February 2009 (*).

It was a rather random viewing and because I knew of Alanis' music, I decided to record her segment of the show on my PVR.

Over the ensuing months I would watch it repeatedly, often in the middle of the night, when Jenny had fallen into a deep sleep. I was mesmerised by Alanis' voice, the musicians that supported her and the live performance. In some ways this video takes me back to those last few months with Jenny and the sense of innocence (*) we all had with what we were about to confront (*).

Alanis' words, reflects the the depth of her experience and her delivery touched me back in 2009, and they touch me even more now because of the memories they evoke three years on, as well as her insights into life purpose, something that I have had to grapple with when you feel you have fulfilled your purpose in life.

This recording takes me back to those nights before Jenny's passing where I would watch this video safe in the comfort that she was in the next room, breathing and still with us.

Tonight, I have captured this part of my life here - I tried to add it to my blog back in early 2010, but it was too hard back then. For some reason it seems right to add it now, though I have not been able to fully explain here why. I just think it is amazing.

Jenny - St George Private Hospital (11:48am Tue 23 Jun 2009)

Jenny - Two years ago, just now!! - St George Private Hospital (11:48am Tue 23 Jun 2009)
Another turning point
A fork stuck in the road

Time grabs you by the wrist
directs you where to go
So make the best of this test
and don't ask why
It's not a question
But a lesson learned in time

It's something unpredictable
But in the end is right
I hope you had the time
of your life

So take the photographs
and still frames in your mind
Hang it on a shelf
in good health and good time

Time of your Life by Green Day


The last photo I took of Jenny before her heart failed, about an hour later, while she was having her lunch. I have written briefly about it here:

• Angels on the Moon - Thriving Ivory (youtube)
  

There seemed to be so much hope as I took this photo.

For me, it was the hope that we could take her home (she had negotiated it to be Wed, so Jo and I could go to our Aus Dragon Boat training session that Tue night) and care for her until she quietly left us, like Jenny and Jo had done with Margaret, their mother, 10 years earlier.

It was not meant to be and it is amazing how quickly things can change and how you need to accept, adapt and let go to the circumstances which we are confronted with as we move through life.

It is in these moments that I came to fully understand the following words from Paulo Coehlo's novel, The Fifth Mountain (which I would read 6 months later):

Fear reaches only to the point where the unavoidable begins; from there on, it loses its meaning. And all we have left is the hope that we are making the right decision.

A story for another day.

For now, I remember Jenny and the final week of her life, that she spent in Intensive Care Unit of St George Private Hospital, before she left us on Tue 30 Jun 2009.

Postscript

Amazingly, about an hour after posting the above (maybe about the time Jenny's heart failed two years earlier), a post titled Regrets came through from Paulo Coelho. It is based on this post:

• Regrets of the Dying by Bronnie Ware

It touchs on the time I had hoped for at home with Jenny and things we might have been able to talk about.

In the end, she left us very suddenly (and with much trauma - unlike her Mothers passing which was very peaceful and serene, if you can understand that) and we were not able to say goodbye.

I carry some of the regrets Bronnie mentions, but in the end I would like to think we lived a good life that allowed us to make the most of the time we had together.

The Cancer made us better people and we did live life to full - Do what you can, when you can. I would say. For Jenny, it was Don't Wonder 'What If?'. Every time we parted, I would say I love you and often many times in between.

One thing I know for sure, it is that through Jenny's life and passing, I have become a better person - I feel guilty about this in many ways, but at the same time I draw some comfort.

Time of Your Life - an amazing accoustic version - Green Day (youtube)

The Give and Take Miralce of Life and Photography - StreetShooter (Thu 23 Apr 2015)

Street Shooter - "[son] Mummy. What is he taking a photo of? [Mum] Go take a look when he is gone." - Fremantle (Sun 19 Apr 2015)

StreetShooter on Photography and Life:

all the sudden it occurred to me that everything in the universe has the ability to teach and to learn. So even on the streets making photos the energy you receive is equal to the energy you send. So your intent is to make photos but ya know, you aren’t in it alone. [..] If life is a give and take miracle then it stands to reason that photography is also. So that means that we think we are the origin of our work but that’s not true. We are not alone in life.

Our photographs and I am only talking about photography, are a collaboration between life and ourselves. We hope for and strive to find a synergism with the street and make the photos that represent that synergism. We can not rightfully state that we are the Origin of our work. [..]

If you are like every reader that ever was or ever will be on this blog [streetshoot.net], then you are aware that you don’t take any photographs, you collaborate wit Mother Light and The Street and you make your photos.

Tomorrow is another day and if I wake and am healthy, I’m hitting the streets. I hear tell Life is out there and I’m gonna look for it.

via Philly Street … Thoughts With … Olympus Pen EP-5 by StreetShooter.

Enjoy Life - Bronnie Ware (Sun 05 Apr 2015)

Pacific Dragons Mixed Orange - Penrith (Sat 04 Apr 2015

Bronnie Ware on Life

Change is constant. We make it easiest on ourselves by accepting that fact. Our ability in letting go of the need for control, giving up the insistence that things have to be a certain way, is a courageous gift of freedom.

It is also a gift of love and gratitude. By surrendering to life, accepting that change is a natural part of the flow, we learn to appreciate the moment for what it is.[..]

Life really is such a short and precious gift. It can also change unexpectedly in one tiny moment. So please, love yourself enough to commit to enjoying your life. Make decisions that support your happiness – your genuine, heartfelt happiness.

via Enjoy Life by Bronnie Ware.

On How to Get There - Yesterday's Suffering, Today's Inspiration, Tomorrow's Strength

God Still Loves You!!! I Love You, Also - Valletta / Malta (Sat 20 Sep 2014)

How to Get There
By Michael Leunig

Go to the end of the path until you get to the gate.
Go through the gate and head straight out
Towards the horizon
Keep going towards the horizon
Sit down and have a rest every now and again
But keep on going.
Just keep with it.
Keep on going as far as you can
That's how you get there.

.. And that is pretty much what I have done these last 5 years ..

These words have implicitly (I knew of them and their meaning before I even read them for the first time) and explicitly guided me when I was completely lost, and without Purpose and Hope .. "Just keep with it" I would say. And it's a pretty good approach to Life, I would think, given the Situation I found myself ..

At some point along the way you do get "There" - it's not overly obvious that you have arrived, but somehow you know .. just like when you were made aware of how far you had fallen without even noticing.

Now ..

You are strong enough to stand on your own two feet and embrace the world again. You are brave enough to start "letting go", to know there is more to "let go", and more importantly to know that is what Jenny would want of me. To know you have another chance. That what forced you to go "through the gate and head straight out" and where you have been to get "There", has made you a better person - and to know that I should not feel guilty about that. That you have been all over and its been all over you. That you are not a Hopeless case. That you are Awesome. That you are still here for a reason. That you know you still have so much to give. That it was not the End, like you thought, but just the chance for another Beginning.

A chance to show you are resilent. A chance to show you can change, adapt and reinvent yourself. A chance to demonstrate you can think of yourself as a survivor and not a victim of circumstance and Life. A chance to consider that you have been lucky to have shared loved. And through that love, empowered to live life to the full along the path you were destined to walk.

Thank you to everyone that have helped me to get "There" these last 5 years. It has been a remarkable Journey and a few Lessons in Life have been learnt!!! I can’t really believe where I have been. I could write a book about it but at least there is a blog - eljeiffel.blogspot.com.au

This is Life (my Life actually) and I have learnt we need to Live and appreciate it while we can. Jenny showed and gave me this. It was her gift to me ..

Why do I write this now? I write this for me and my timeline. And while it might appear a little self-indulgent, I have no regrets - it is who I have become along the way to "There".

More importantly I write it for others who are or will walk "out through the gate" and search for their "There". It's a choice you make and I know you can do it if you set your heart to it.

I know there is further to go but my outlook is different now.

“There” is always Hope - I am another shining example of this!!

Thanks again.

Yesterday's Suffering, Today's Inspiration, Tomorrow's Strength
Geoff (Wed 25 Feb 2015)

A Journey, A Home - My Legacy to the World - Alexandria (Sun 22 Feb 2015)

Pacific Dragons Fundraising Cheque Presentation to the SSCSG - Miranda / Sutherland Shire (Tue 13 Dec 2011)

Today, Jo and I attended the Sutherland Shire Cancer Support Group's (*) - SSCSG - Christmas Party. It was the 16th time we have attended the Party, and it is the 3rd time since Jenny's passing

We were honoured to present to Liz Swanbury, a Social Worker from Calvary Hospital (*) and Group Co-ordinator, a cheque to the value of $1,113, on behalf of Pacific Dragon's Dragon and Outrigging Canoe Club (*).

The SSCSG was formed in 1993 to help people whose lives have been touched by cancer. For the 2009/2010 and 2010/2011 paddling seasons, the SSCSG was Pacific Dragon's Fundraising Charity.

Jo, Debra, Liz and Geoff (R to L) - Pacific Dragon's Fundraising Cheque Presentation to the SSCSG - Miranda / Sutherland Shire (Tue 13 Dec 2011)
Jenny (Jo's Identical Twin Sister and my Wife) was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in March 1996 and she lived a full and active life with the disease up until shortly before her passing on Tue 30 Jun 2009.

Jo and Jenny - Glebe Point Road / Glebe (Sun 04 Feb 2001)
Jenny found the SSCSG early on in her shared life with cancer and it became a constant in her life, just as the paddling would when she found it in January 2001. Jenny looked forward to and attended the weekly Tuesday morning meetings of the Group.

Petria King Workshop (*) and the SSCSG - Quest for Life (*) - Bundanoon (Tue 23 Mar 2005)
Pacific Dragons Women's Team (Jenny with her blue head scarf front right) - Penang / Malaysia (Sun 04 Aug 2008)
Jenny met many amazing people at the Group and she (as well as Jo and I) learnt much about cancer, it's treatment and progression. It showed her and us how to live and ultimately, about how to die.

A few months after Jenny's passing Lisa asked me to write a few words about the SSCSG and what it meant to Jenny. At the time I struggled to find the words. They were there, I just could not write them down coherently. So Lisa kindly and gently quizzed and probed me at the Shed after an OC6 session one night. From my ramblings she was able to write the following which was used in support of the SSCSG being Pacific Dragon's Charity for the 2009/2010, and as it would turn out, the 2010/2011, paddling seasons ..

Geoff tells me that this group was important to Jenny because it taught her about the cancer she was living with, including providing opportunities to attend programs to learn about the importance of good food, positive attitudes, meditation and loving support.

She got to spend time and form friendships with people going through the same thing, volunteered with the group to raise a huge amount of money for cancer research and support through Daffodil Day and Relay for Life, and it also helped her prepare herself for the time when the disease would take her from us.

Jenny also became an important role model for the group, inspiring them through her support and the way she chose to live her own life.

Each year at this celebration, the Group remembers those members who lost their lives to their cancers, and related illnesses, during the year. This is done by Liz reading the name of the lost member and then Debra (one of the leaders of the Group) striking a bell. This year four names were read and the Bell struck after each name.

Jo, Jenny and Geoff - SSCSG Christmas Party - Miranda (Tue 16 Dec 2008)
Over the years when Jenny was with us, when the Bell rung, I always felt lucky that we had another year together. Today, as always, Jo and I would remember how we heard Liz read Jenny's name and Debra's Bell ring at the December 2009 Christmas Party. We miss her dearly and she is remembered fondly by many.

Jo and I thank Pacific Dragons for their generosity and support of the SSCSG. Jenny would be touched by your kindness.

Jenny - St George Private Hospital (11:48am Tue 23 Jun 2009)

I have learned (by unknown)

I found the following piece while poking around Paulo Coelho's myspace page (he is on every social media site :-). Anyway, I like this and thought I would put it here to share as well as remember. What I have learned. There is much wisdom here:

I have learned (by author unknown) ..

• I've learned that you cannot make someone love you. All you can do is be someone who can be loved. The rest is up to them.


• I've learned that no matter how much I care, some people just don't care back;


• I've learned that it takes years to build up trust, and only seconds to destroy it.


• I've learned that it's not what you have in your life but who you have in your life that counts;


• I've learned that you can get by on charm, for about fifteen minutes. After that, you'd better know something;


• I've learned that you shouldn't compare yourself to the best others can do.


• I've learned that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.


• I've learned that it's taking me a long time to become the person that I want to be.


• I've learned that you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may b the last time you see them.


• I've learned that you can keep going long after you can't.


• I've learned that we are responsible for all we do, no matter how we feel.


• I've learned that either you control your attitude or it controls you.


• I've learned that no matter how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take it's place.


• I've learned that heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.


• I've learned that money is a lousy way of keeping score.


• I've learned that my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time.


• I've learned that sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you're downhill are the ones to help you get back up.


• I've learned that sometimes when I'm angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn't give me the right to be cruel.


• I've learned that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.


• I've learned that just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to doesn't mean that they don't love you with all they have.


• I've learned that maturity had more to do with what types of experiences you've had and what you've learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you've celebrated.


• I've learned that your family won't always be there for you. It may seem funny, but people you aren't related to can take care of you and love you and teach you to trust people again. Families aren't biological.


• I've learned that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.


• I've learned that it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to forgive yourself.


• I've learned that no matter how bad your heart is broken, the world doesn't stop for your grief.


• I've learned that our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.


• I've learned that just because two people argue, it doesn't mean they don't love each other. And just because they don't argue, it doesn't mean they do.


• I've learned that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.


• I've learned that you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.


• I've learned that two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.


• I've learned that no matter how you try to protect your children, they will eventually get hurt and you will get hurt in the process.


• I've learned that your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don't even know you.


• I've learned that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.


• I've learned that credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.


• I've learned that the people you care about the most in life are taken from you too soon.


• I've learned that it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.

'Angel's Hand and Wing' - A Church / Brussels - Europe 2009 - A Second Look - 11 Sep 2009 (picasa)

On Reflection - Bronnie Ware - The Top Five Regrets of the Dying (Tue Afternoon)

Jenny - Fitzroy Island / Queensland (Thu 26 Mar 2009)
Bronnie Ware (*) writes:

Thank you God for sustaining me, and for sending so much beauty my way.

Sometimes we don’t know until much later that a particular moment in time has changed our life’s direction.

From the Introduction of The Top Five Regrets of the Dying: A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing (*).

Was reminded (*) of this book (*) yesterday and how I came across the blog post (*) that lead to it being written. Decided to go down to the local bookstore and see if it was in stock. Luckily it was and I now have a copy that I am reading.

The above quote is from the Introduction (*), and I feel the book is already worth it for such a profound, yet obvious, observation about life.

Some great quotes (*) from the book are shared here (*).

She adds to the above quote with:

So many of the moments shared in this book have changed my life.

Made me think that so many moments that I have reflected on and shared here (*) have also changed my life.


Joanne - Fitzroy Island / Queensland (Thu 26 Mar 2009)
Jenny and Geoff - Cape Tribulation / Queensland (Fri 27 Mar 2009)

I feel I am so lucky and have a wonderful life .. Jenny P

Jenny would often say how lucky she was to have experienced life with cancer. Indeed, it was how she finished her talks ..

I feel I am so lucky and have a wonderful life. I have had some great opportunities through breast cancer to meet some very inspiring people. Geoff and Jo have been a constant source of support for me. Breast cancer has totally changed my life but for the best.

Seems to be common sentiment, though definitely not universal, amongst some people who have been told they have Cancer. We feel lucky to have shared Jenny's journey in life with her Cancer. I will explore this a little here over the next few weeks.

Joanne, Jenny and Geoff - Paddling on Fitzroy Island Far Nth Qld - 26 March 2009

Joanne and Jenny - Paddling on Fitzroy Island Far Nth Qld - 26 March 2009

Part of our "Little Paddle" around Fitzroy Island Far Nth Qld - 26 March 2009

On Life Purpose - Niña Terol (Wed 23 Jul 2003)

Listen to your heart - Erskineville (Sep 2012)
Niña Terol (*) writes (*) on Life Purpose (*):

Paulo Coelho says, "To realize one's destiny is a person's only obligation."

I'm not fatalistic, and I still believe that we make our choices. Nothing is pre-destined to the point where we're no longer required to act on anything. But I believe that signs guide us to the right path, so that we can achieve our dreams sooner.

These signs are found within us, in the stillness of our hearts, in the deepest recesses of our being.

To actually see them, and recognize them for what they are, we have to clear ourselves of all doubts, fears, and worries. We've got to remove the trappings that stay stuck inside us. We've got to know who we really are and what we're really meant to do. It's a painful task, but it will be even more painful to go through life not knowing our life's purpose, our life's worth.

Listen to your heart. Just try.

(I've always been a mind-over-heart person, but the moment I listened to my heart everything just fell into place. "When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.")

From Paulo Coelho-isms (Dedicated to my friend, Ellen Joy) (*) via Five Years in Paulo Coelho’s blog (*) and Five Years in Paulo Coelho’s blog (*).

Stumbled across this today. Funny how things work out. Here is a photo from around the initial post was made. Always puts a smile on my face.

Smile - Jenny after a long Chemo Session that day - Kogarah (Jul 2003)

Any Given Sunday - Inch By Inch Speech by Al Pacino

Al Pacino's Inch By Inch speech from Any Given Sunday
The background music is "Peace", by Paul Kelly, on Soundings in Film

One of my team mates from Prague 2009 had this on his Notebook. Before we got off the Bus at the race site for the 200m races, he played this to the Team. I enjoyed it and it seemed to do the trick. Somehow we squirmed into 3rd place in the final for a completely unexpected Bronze. Thanks Rick. Just a memory from Prague 2009.

Rick Lambe and Gary Quartermain - Senior Open 200m Final Presentation - Racice/Prague - Fri 29 Aug 2009
Inch By Inch Speech by Al Pacino

I don't know what to say really.
Three minutes
to the biggest battle of our professional lives
all comes down to today.
Either
we heal
as a team
or we are going to crumble.
Inch by inch
play by play
till we're finished.
We are in hell right now, gentlemen
believe me
and
we can stay here
and get the sh*t kicked out of us
or
we can fight our way
back into the light.
We can climb out of hell.
One inch, at a time.

Now I can't do it for you.
I'm too old.
I look around and I see these young faces
and I think
I mean
I made every wrong choice a middle age man could make.
I uh....
I pissed away all my money
believe it or not.
I chased off
anyone who has ever loved me.
And lately,
I can't even stand the face I see in the mirror.

You know when you get old in life
things get taken from you.
That's, that's part of life.
But,
you only learn that when you start losing stuff.
You find out that life is just a game of inches.
So is football.
Because in either game
life or football
the margin for error is so small.
I mean
one half step too late or to early
you don't quite make it.
One half second too slow or too fast
and you don't quite catch it.
The inches we need are everywhere around us.
They are in ever break of the game
every minute, every second.

On this team, we fight for that inch
On this team, we tear ourselves, and everyone around us
to pieces for that inch.
We CLAW with our finger nails for that inch.
Cause we know
when we add up all those inches
that's going to make the f*ing difference
between WINNING and LOSING
between LIVING and DYING.

I'll tell you this
in any fight
it is the guy who is willing to die
who is going to win that inch.
And I know
if I am going to have any life anymore
it is because, I am still willing to fight, and die for that inch
because that is what LIVING is.
The six inches in front of your face.

Now I can't make you do it.
You gotta look at the guy next to you.
Look into his eyes.
Now I think you are going to see a guy who will go that inch with you.
You are going to see a guy
who will sacrifice himself for this team
because he knows when it comes down to it,
you are gonna do the same thing for him.

That's a team, gentlemen
and either we heal now, as a team,
or we will die as individuals.
That's football guys.
That's all it is.
Now, whattaya gonna do?

Closer to the Edge by 30 seconds to Mars (youtube)

Closer to the Edge by 30 seconds to Mars (youtube)

I will never forget
I will never regret
I will live my life

Closer to the Edge by 30 seconds to Mars


My philosophy in life is ..
'Don't regret anything you do,
because in the end, it makes you who you are.'

Wise words from a young girl at the beginning of Closer to the Edge Video

'Don't regret anything you do .. - Closer to the Edge by 30 seconds to Mars

Now that I am commuting 35-45 minutes each day to and from Kirrawee to Alexandria, I am getting to hear a lot more songs on the radio. I have heard this song a few times over the last year or so and have always liked it. A few times I have tried to remember a few words from the lyrics, but have not been able to track it down until Friday, when I heard on the way to work.

Having seen Tree of Life (more here and here) yesterday afternoon. I was stunned by the movie and how it seemed to capture many of my thoughts on the loss of my brother Tim, and how he coped (or struggled his whole life really) with the loss of our Father when he was just 18 years old (yet another story for another day). The following lyrics to me have some connection with the Movie and my feelings from it - they intertwine.

Closer to the Edge

I don't remember one moment, I tried to forget
I lost myself, is it better not said?
Now I'm closer to the edge

If it's a thousand to one and a million to two
Time to go down in flames and I'm taking you
Closer to the edge

No, I'm not saying I'm sorry
One day maybe we'll meet again
No, I'm not saying I'm sorry
One day maybe we'll meet again

(No, no, no, no)

Can you imagine a time when the truth ran free
The birth of a sun and the death of a dream
Closer to the edge

This never ending story
Hateful with pride and fate
We all fall short of glory, lost in ourselves

No, I'm not saying I'm sorry
One day maybe we'll meet again
No, I'm not saying I'm sorry
One day maybe we'll meet again

(No, no, no, no)

I will never forget
I will never regret
I will live my life

No, I'm not saying I'm sorry
One day maybe we'll meet again
No, I'm not saying I'm sorry
One day maybe we'll meet again

Closer to the edge
Closer to the edge

On Understanding and Expectation - Elvis Costello / Spectrum (Sat 31 Aug 2013)

A Door (*), A Window (*) - Red and Blue - Paddington / London (Sat 17 Aug 2013)
Elvis Costello (*) talks about musical creation (*):

We were somewhat free from expectations (*) because we didn't tell anybody we were doing it, because we didn't know (*) we were doing it ourselves at first.''

via Pump it up: How hip-hop seduced Elvis Costello (*) by Nick Miller (*).

Back home now. A fantastic trip (*) with many great moments and experiences. Not a natural traveller, but this trip I seemed to handle it all better than I ever have and was fully engaged in the moment, not feeling homesick and not wanting myself to be somewhere else.

Hardly gave my work, paddling or situation in life (my usual preoccupations) a thought. A usual thought was to try and understand a place, event or thing, not to judge or to wish it to be something I am familiar with. It is there for a reason, and if I could just understand it a little, then I might learn something about it, life, or even myself.

I also thought how lucky I was to able to do this, to have these experiences and this outlook on life.

Took over 10,000 photos and have much to look at and ponder over the next few months, in particular, and no doubt, for the rest of my life.

Some photos have been taken so I can remember a place, a moment, or a transientary thing - to give it a life beyond its time.

Some have been taken because something caught my eye - a colour, a combination of colours, lines, shadows or maybe just the quality of the light.

Others I think have been captured for reasons beyond my comprehension, just as Elvis explains above. Most of these photos will never be seen by another person and in some ways this relieves me of any expectation or what others might think, as the above quote so nicely demonstrates.

So if you think some of the photos that appear here are a little beyond comprehension, maybe you should be thankful that you don't see some of the others that will never seen by anyone other than me.

Thanks Elvis and Nick, a great interview which allowed me to learn something about myself, which is what great writing and its sharing is about.

Change: Give me the .. by The Sandhill Warrior (Jun 2009)

Give me the courage, tenacity & positivity to change that which I can...(with a smile on my face!) (15 Jun 2009)

Give me the serenity, humility & tolerance to accept that which I cannot... (16 Jun 2009)

And give me the wisdom, humbleness & strength to know the difference. (17 Jun 2009)

SandhillWarrior (Rob Rowland-Smith)

Amazing what you can stumble upon. The message and timing of the above twitter quotes (posted over three days by Rob Rowland-Smith) mean something to me. I made a post from that time of our lives with some photos (a few of them below) titled:

• The night before brain surgery .. (Sun 07 Mar 2010)

The above quotes reflect much of what I knew I needed in myself for what would turn out to be Jenny's last two weeks of her life. All my life experiences, my training as I called it, helped me to be the best I could be to support Jenny (and Joanne) during this time of Jenny's life.

I look back at this time as my Life's Purpose. I knew this from the very moment Jenny told me she had breast cancer, way back in March 1996. We were incredibly Lucky to have so long together. An incredible life together.

Jenny - 'A little tidy up of Jenny's hair - it was always my job to do this.' - Kirrawee - 16 Jun 2009 (picasa)
Jenny, Joanne, David and Geoff - "Jenny takes a photo of us all just before she heads out to have a 4cm brain tumor removed. She had no fear and looked forward to quickly recovering to resume the treatment of the tumors in her liver." - St George - 6:30am Wed 17 Jun 2009 (picasa)
Jenny - 'Just before heading out for surgery.' - St George Hospital - 7am Wed 17 Jun 2009 (picasa)

The Beauty of Life - Brooks Jensen (Wed 12 Jan 2015)

Just Married - Jenny and Geoff - My Favourite Photo of Jenny: What a smile!! And I love the way she is holding my hand - South Cronulla Uniting Church (Sun 30 Apr 2000)
Brooks Jenson (*) writes On Life (*):

One never knows in the midst of life when The Moment will happen, but if we are lucky, happen it does, and a new life begins.

via I Am Born (*) by Brooks Jensen (*).

I've been lucky enough to have experienced this in my Life with Jenny. I have lived. Thank you Jenny.

Two Photos to Bookend a Life ..

In putting together yesterday's post, I drew on a photo that has Lynn and I sitting together on top of the Lounge in Tamworth. It was taken just before our brother Tim arrived into our lives - he was born in Tamworth in Dec 1963.

In putting together an earlier post about Tim I came across this photo of Lynn and I, at his house in Canberra, on the day after we said goodbye.

Only really made the connection that the two photos put Lynn and I together in a way that I guess Bookend's Tim's Life and our life with him in between.

Nice to have the photos and the memories ..

Lynn and Geoff at Tim's Place - "the day after we said goodbye to Tim" - Griffith / Canberra (Sat 12 Mar 2005)A Life in between.

Lynn and Geoff - maybe 1963? (but definitely before Tim arrived in Dec 1963) - "Lynn has this photo: one of my earliest memories - sitting on top of the lounge having our photo taken." - Tamworth (picasa)

Inspire Award 2020 - Pacific Dragons - Nicola Frowen (Sun 08 Nov 2020)

This is the 11th year of the Inspire Award. The award was created in the memory of club member Jenny Petterson who passed away in June 2009. Jenny was the slightly older identical twin of Joanne and Geoff was her Husband.

Jenny had a long journey in life with breast cancer and all the complications that come with a persistent and aggressive cancer. It was through this journey she found paddling. It gave her a chance to be like everyone else and she loved the training, competing and being part of a team. She paddled at the highest level, even up to the last month of her life. She was an inspiration to many through her actions and approach to life with cancer. She was a speaker for the Breast Cancer Network of Australia and spoke regularly to various groups in the community.

To remember Jenny, and to promote and acknowledge inspirational qualities within the club, the PD's committee of the day, created what is now the Inspire Award. Nominations are made by club members for their paddling club members. Initially, the Committee would make the decision and put the names forward to Joanne and Geoff as a courtesy. As the years passed, the committee decided to forward recommended nominations and it is now up to Joanne and Geoff to decide the recipient. A big responsibility for us.

This year the Committee received many great nominations made in the true spirit of the award and it is pleasing to see that inspiration is alive and well within the club. Included in the nominations this year were Caitlin Moffat, Esther Wheeler, Hannaleena Mikkonen, Jodie Dunbar, Jo Petterson, Karina Piddington, Nicola Frowen, Rachel Mosen, Vicki Rowcliff, Ian Amos and Geoff Eldridge.

As we look back we can see that the 2019/20 season was somewhat different in a few ways. Bushfires to start with and a global pandemic to follow that reached our shores in March 2020. As a result, it took the Inspire Award in a different direction to what we had hoped at the beginning of the season.

The pandemic showed to us many things that we had taken for granted, and at the same time reintroduced us to another time where life was a little slower, simpler and more local. It showed us that we were resilient and resourceful. For a moment our nation’s leader’s put aside politics and actual lead us through a very difficult time, We responded as individuals to situation the best we could and we were asked to make sacrifices for the long term good of our Nation and its’ people. We were also asked to isolate and distance ourselves and in process we became closer through a share experienced.

At a club-level the response was immediate and very effective. The club leadership recognised the importance of connection in insolation right from the very start and we had many club members contribute Facebook Live content – from their gardens, to kitchens, bikes, virtual drinks, to workspaces and who could ever forget the dextrous virtual “passing” of a toilet roll (no pun intended) across the club’s membership in insolation. We even had virtual single craft time-trials.

Our club leadership stepped up in these difficult times and provided a safe and inclusive environment for all club members to feel connected in a virtual way, since we could not interact in our usual way.

It took teamwork from our club leadership to quickly devise and implement a plan. Inspirational leadership ignites a spark within those they care for. The recipient of this year’s Inspire Award was a person who shone a bright and optimistic light on the club’s response as it evolved with the everchanging requirements of the pandemic response. She provided hope and that spark for many to act and I was one. There is not another person that has had a bigger impact on Jo and my lives, than this year’s Inspire Award recipient - Nicola Frowen. Congratulations Nicola.

We have known Nicola for many years now and well remember when she arrived as a new paddler supporting a friend who wanted to try paddling. Luckily for us, Nicola stayed while her friend moved on. Jo and I, as well as many here, have shared so many great experiences with her over the subsequent years both here and abroad. Working in the travel industry she has always had a hand in our travel arrangements one way or another and has kept us all very organised.

We have seen her grow as an inspirational paddler, coordinator, coach, leader and mentor. She recognises potential and opportunities for club members to contribute and is not afraid to suggest people to take on roles and undertake tasks. She believes in you and will support you. Here are what other club members have contributed.

From Caitlin:

Nicola has supported me the whole way through this accidental/last minute President situation. If she was not as generous with her time and knowledge, I would genuinely be lost. Every time I have asked for help, she has been there for me regardless of the millions of things she has going on.

Nicola's commitment to the club is like an iceberg, most people only see 10%. Her passion for our club and its members is unrivalled. It is all of that and more that continuously inspires me to be a better paddler, a committed club member and an outstanding President.

From Steve:

Nicola has a seemingly tireless energy, passion and enthusiasm for the PD's. Is always working on 'something' for the club be it as a coach, committee member, paddler or just assisting to keep things running over the last few months with the Covid-crisis. I might be seen to be slightly biased, but I am really speaking objectively and from personal 'observations'...!

Others added:

• Nicola is completely committed to ensuring that the club is training well and working together. Her encouragement before and after a race is motivating.
• from Nicola’s support across all paddling codes, words of encouragement and push to help our sport get back to the water is inspiring Nicola goes above and beyond in so many ways, most unseen by the club, to make things happen.
• Nicola has put in so much time into her own training and also to coaching others to better the club and has put in a lot of time to organise events etc

Congratulations Nicola. Thank you for everything. You are and always will be an inspiration.

The warrior of light views life with tenderness and determination

The warrior of light views life with tenderness and determination.

He stands before a mystery, whose solution he will one day find. Every so often, he says to himself:

'This life is absolutely insane.'

He is right. In surrendering to the miracle of the everyday, he notices that he cannot always foresee the consequences of his actions. Sometimes he acts without even knowing that he is doing so, he saves someone without even knowing he is saving them, he suffers without even knowing why he is sad.

Yes, life is insane. But the great wisdom of the warrior lies in choosing his insanity wisely.

From the Manual of the Warrior of Light by Paulo Coelho (more here).

Jen and Douglas - Douglas losing his hand - IT Crowd (Graham Lineham - itcrowd label) - Series 2 Episode 6 - Men without Women- London (2007)
Geoff (trying to make Jenny laugh) - Douglas losing his hand - Victory Terrace - Perth/WA (Sun 06 Oct 2008)