Emotional Preparation For The Olympic Games by Cal Botterill

Emotional Preparation For The Olympic Games by Cal Botterill

A great article and one worth reading. Here are some random points ..

Being clear minded should be an important objective going into the Games [Championships]. Once again though, it is critical to feel focused and occupied and to avoid falling into the human tendency to start overanalyzing. It has been suggested that "nothing never happens"; in the absence of a constructive focus our minds sometimes start "over-thinking" or "over-perceiving."

• Enjoy the emotional spectrum that is part of life.



• Accept and experience feelings, let them go, and channel the energy into growth and effective responses.



• Respect the power and positive and negative significance of emotions on your system.



• Manage relationships and time so that you do not become emotionally drained at key times in your life, especially when working hard physically and mentally.



• Let go of irrational beliefs and perspectives.



• Reaffirm your mission, values, and perspective.



• Live. Never have to say, "I wish I would have ..."

An athlete should be confident in mental skills going into the Games [Championships]. Responses to stress and boredom should automatically be constructive, and time and relationship skills should be crisp and effective. Creative simulations, quality training sessions, and lead-up competitions can help ensure the rust is off attention and competitive skills during the countdown.

He concludes with the following:

I would say to each of our Olympic athletes: Walk away knowing you gave it your best shot and exulted in the opportunity to test yourself in one of the most prestigious and emotional environments in the world. Accept that you can never totally control your emotions that is part of the challenge of being human. With emotional preparation, practice, and management we can often come closer to our situational potential.

Compete with passion, perspective, and preparation and be all you can be as you pursue your Olympic destiny. I wish you physical prowess, a clear mind, and an unburdened heart. Citius, Altius, Fortius! [The Olympic Motto]

Definitely worth a read. Take from it what you can for your own mental preparation.

PD's Mixed Team Pre-race Team Huddle - 2011 Nationals - Canberra (Fri 01 Apr 2011)
Willy and George - Pre-race Preparation/Rituals - Senior A Mixed 500m Final - Racice /Prague (Sat 29 Aug 2009)

Some Down Time - Chinese New Year - Darling Harbour / Sydney (Sat 06 Feb 2009)
Turning it on - World Club Crews - Penang / Malaysia (Sat 02 Aug 2008)

Jenny and Joanne - St George Private Hospital (Tue 16 Jun 2009)

Jenny and Joanne - St George Private Hospital (Tue 16 Jun 2009)
Three years ago about now.

Jenny and Joanne doing the measurements for their 2009 Australian Dragon Boat Team Uniforms. Jenny had withdrawn from the Team a week earlier when a 4cm Brain Tumor had been diagnosed, but was allowed to complete her uniform order. The next day Jenny had the tumor removed and 12 days later she left us.

Jo and I were able to have Jenny's uniform order processed and we were presented with her Uniform with the rest of the Masters Team before we departed for Prague.

It is easy to forget these kind of moments, particularly when lost in the haze of grief, and the trauma that goes with the risk and mistakes that one takes when trying to find purpose and a new place in the world.

For those I have hurt or confused (and I know there are many) on this emotional rollercoaster, I apologise. The way I have acted is the best I could manage under the circumstances.

It is times like this I am glad that I have these photos to help remember the moments that shaped our lives.

Peter Dombrovskis: Photographer

His work inspired me to buy a Large Format Camera. When I went Canberra (now not as often as I did) I would go to the National Library of Australia to look at his Books. None of his books are now in print and they can only be found in libraries and the 2nd Hand Book Market. My favourite was On the Mountain.

The Sydney Morning Herald published an article last week indicating his widow, Liz, has just "sold his archive of 3000 images to the National Library of Australia".

A couple of quotes from the article follows:

"He used to get physically exhausted by the emotional effort he put into his photos,'' she says. ''Apart from the artistic composition, Peter used to say you can't take a good photograph if there's not part of you in it."

"he excelled at sweeping landscapes and intimate detail shots"


Lake Albina: Jan 2005

Lifesavers Bondi Beach - Marco Bok / Sydney Life 2012 - Hyde Park / Sydney (Sat 13 Oct 2012)

Lifesavers Bondi Beach - Marco Bok / Sydney Life 2012 - Hyde Park / Sydney (Sat 13 Oct 2012)
Sandy Edwards talks about Marco Bok's (*) Photo - Lifesavers Bondi Beach. Candid photo of a lifesaving exercise. From a large unpublished series on Bondi Beach made whilst living there..

More details here (*) where Robert McFarlane (*) writes:

[..] Bok possesses a visual grammar with its own emotional, intimate nature. [..] his capacity to work close to his subjects, establishing an intimacy both delicate and revealing, that marks him as a significant artist.

A few more photos from Sandy's talk to follow.

Favourite Photos - How much beauty in decay! - Hyde Park/Sydney - Dec 2001

Leaf - How much beauty in decay! - Hyde Park/Sydney - Wed 27 Dec 2001 (picasa)
A photo I took after work during the Christmas New Year period of 2001. Fires were burning all round Sydney and the sky was covered in smoke which resulted in a strange orange colour which can be seen in this photo. At the time I was reading much about photography and various photographers. This particular photo was inspired by Eliot Porter.

Eliot Porter was a photographer I found early on in my photography journey and self-education. It was easy to appreciate his work (google). He was a pioneer of colour photography (more here) and his life work was bequested to the Amon Carter Museum in 1990 shortly before he died (NYT Orbituary).

Not sure how I found him, but his name seems to appear whenever landscape photographers start talking about Colour Landscape Photography when compared to Black and White Landscape Photography, particularly that of Ansel Adams (looking at the size of the wikipedia entries, it is easy to see who was more popular both as a photographer and selection of photographic technique).

Found some interesting information about him searching the web (google). Also, found some of his books (along with those of Australia's own Peter Dombrovskis) in the National Library of Australia and would often take a look at them in NLA's reading rooms when in Canberra. Many of his photos resonated with my own vision and definitely influenced me when taking landscape (even streetscape and travel) photos, particularly in the Snow Mountains.

At the UNSW I found the book Eliot Porter: photographs and text (a great article) by Eliot Porter. Learnt a lot from the text and photos selected for the book. The following is a quote (see my photo.net page) from the book, which helped form my photographic vision ..

"It is the beauty of nature that I try to represent by photography. What this expression means to most people, I am quite sure, is such features as flowers of spring, autumn foliage, mountain landscapes, and many other similar aspects about aesthetic qualities of which no one would care to offer contradiction. That they are beautiful is indisputable, but they are not all that is beautiful about nature; in fact they are only the obvious and superficial aspects of nature - which anyone may observe with half and eye. They are the peaks and summits of nature's greatest displays. There is no doubt about their importance; they could not be dispensed with. Underlying and supporting these brillant displays are slow, quiet processes that pass almost unnoticed from season to season, unnoticed by those that think that beauty in natures is all its gaudy displays.

Much is missed if we have eyes only for the bright colors. Nature should be viewed without distinction. All her processes and evolutions are beautiful or ugly to the unbiased and indiscriminating observer. She makes no choice herself; everything that happens has equal significance. Nothing can dispensed with. This is a common mistake that many people make; they think that half of nature can be destroyed - the uncomfortable half - while still retaining the acceptable and the pleasing side; their idea is a paradise where nature stands still. Withering flowers blooming, death follows growth, decay follows death, and life follows decay - in a wonderful, complicated, endless web the beauties of which are manifest to a point of view attached to vulgar restricting concepts of what constitutes beauty in nature. Thoreau, who observerd all aspects of nature throughout his life, repeatedly remarked on the beauty of the unaccepted. 'How much beauty in decay!' he exclaimed on examining a worm-eaten leaf. To him the sere, brown leaves of winter were as beautiful as the fresh green of spring. This was a principle that has remained important for me throughout my career."

A fairly long quote, but for me was definitely something worth remembering.

This link provides a great summary of the life and works of Eliot Porter. I like the ending quote ..

The final paragraphs on the art of photography touch on his views to color, composition and emotional content of his images:

"Sensitivity cannot be faked by trickor devise; it has no substitute, and any attempt to replace it with mechancial contrivances is certain to be apparent to the more discerning critics. Not all photographs have to be inspired to be worth making, but the best, rare photographs are the result of a a force at least very close to inspiration. Formulized work becomes impersonal, an all the individuality of authorship tends to disappear. It unquestionably has its uses, but it is not art."

The book itself echoes Porter's ability to redact nature's chaos into a single harmonious image, and is a well-deserved tribute to this pioneer of color nature photography.

The following was one of my favourite Eliot Porter photos:

Pool in a Brook, Brook Pond/New Hampshire by Eliot Porter - 04 Oct 1953 (Carter Museum)
I recently thought of Eliot Porter and the above photo, when I took the following photo during the 2010 Ord River Marathon:

Ord River Reflections - 2010 Ord River Marathon - Sun 14 Jun 2010

Intersection (1 of 5) - Manhattan Bridge - Dumbo / Brooklyn / New York (Wed 17 Aug 2011)

Intersection (*) (1 of 5) - Manhattan Bridge - Dumbo / Brooklyn / New York (Wed 17 Aug 2011)
The light was magnificent under the less well known Manhattan Bridge. I stayed here a few minutes and photographed a few people as they passed the framed mural.

A little Googling (*) reveals some details of the Mural titled Intersection:

• Front Street Gets New Mural - 21 Jun 2011 (*)
  
• http://intersection-mural.tumblr.com/ (*)

The creators indicate (*):

The mural was designed with site-specific ideas in mind: lines of seven colors meet corrugated vertical bars of the fence behind it. Our concept mimics and bends these lines, creating a colorful graphic symbolizing the constant movement of DUMBO. The design is an abstracted interpretation of intersecting train tracks and the familiar New York City subway map.

The use of vivid colors against the urban backdrop of grays and browns is intended to brighten the landscape and produce a visceral and emotional reaction, while referencing the cross-sections of cultures and people who view it.

From the Wikipedia page Dumbo, Brooklyn (*), Dumbo refers to:

Dumbo, an acronym for Down Under the Manhattan Bridge Overpass, is a neighborhood in the New York City, New York, borough of Brooklyn.

It encompasses two sections: one located between the Manhattan and Brooklyn Bridges, which connect Brooklyn to Manhattan across the East River, and another that continues east from the Manhattan Bridge to the Vinegar Hill area.

The neighborhood is part of Brooklyn Community Board 2.

Jerry Seinfeld once referred to Dumbo on a late-night talk show appearance, joking that it stands for "Down Under Manhattan Bridge," but that New Yorkers arbitrarily added the "O" at the end because they did not want to have a neighborhood called "Dumb."

Learnt about this just now when searching for the name of the large framed Mural on the fence. Learn something everyday.

On Anger - Rebecca Propst

Untitled - Busan (Fri 07 Sep 2012)

Rebecca Propst on Anger:

Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.

via Fear of Anger and Avoidance of Conflict by Rebecca Propst.

Have learnt much about anger recently. Thought anger was a futile emotion, but it much more complex than that, as the above quote indicates. If it's there, it's generally there for a reason. It needs to be acknowledged, addressed and can't be harboured for longer than necessary. It takes great strength and emotional intelligence to confront and deal with.

I've been angry when I should not have been, and not angry when I should have been. And there have been many times when I was entitled to be angry.

The difficult emotions and actions around anger are something I've tried to avoid for a lifetime. When it was unavoidable, it usually resulted in a pent up and regretable response. So now knowing a little more helps. As I was told recently:

Know more, Do more, Be more

On Photography, Story Telling and Responsibility - Sarah Pabst

Wedding Day for my Mum and Dad - Goulburn (Jan 1960)

Sarah Pabst on Photography, Story Telling and Responsibility:

To me, photography is a way to tell someone’s story through your very subjective and emotional view. I am not interested in the big issues, but in the small stories of people anyone would listen to. To these people that let me be a part of their lives for a moment that can be a miserable, difficult or also euphoric one, I have a responsibility.

About (Sarah Pabst) by Sarah Pabst.

Jenny’s Gold Medal

PRAGUE 2009 – 9TH IDBF WORLD DRAGON BOAT CHAMPIONSHIPS – AUG 2009
Jenny’s Gold Medal
Prague was an amazing experience. Winning a Gold Medal and singing our National Anthem is something I don't think Joanne (Jenny's younger identical twin sister) or I (Jenny's Husband) will ever be able to explain or describe.

World Champs!! – “Thank You Jenny”
Anyway, I should try to find some words about our Prague experience .. The thing I will remember most about Prague is ..

.. We met Mike Haslam (IDBF Executive President) a couple of times and we spoke initially for quite a while at the end of the third day. We thanked him for his ”Tribute to Jenny” and the wonderful article for Jenny in the July 2009 DBI Newsletter. It became apparent in talking to him that he was truly “touched” by Jenny and he spoke quite openly about the positive impact she had had on his own life over the years and in particular since her passing on the 30 June 2009.

Just before we parted, I asked him whether we could have a photo together, as this had become a bit of tradition with Jenny, Joanne and Mike over the years. This time instead of capturing the moment, I would be in the photo, taking the place of Jenny. After the photo was taken, we all became quite emotional and I asked Joanne to give Mike a comforting hug. As we parted, I was happy, we had said “ thank you” and I had the photo of Mike and Joanne, and thought that would be it for the Regatta. Well, maybe not ..

Geoff, Mike and Joanne - Prague/Racice - Day 3 - 28 Aug 2009

Mike and Joanne - Prague/Racice - Day 3 - 28 Aug 2009
The following day, the Australian Senior Mixed Crew, which Joanne and I were team members, won a Gold Medal in the Mixed 500m Event. For all of us, particularly Joanne and I, this was an amazing experience and a “Dream come True”. We all gave it everything we had and we got off the Dragon Boat onto the Lane 1 Pontoon, not “Wondering, ‘What If’?”. Jenny was our “our Guiding Light and Inspiration” and this was just one example of how Joanne and I are trying to live our lives in Jenny’s “Afterglow”.

Senior Mixed 500m Final - Day 4 - 29 Aug 2009 - "Don't Wonder 'What If?'" Jenny P

Australian Senior Mixed 500m Team – Prague/Racice - Day 4 - 29 Aug 2009
On the last day of the Regatta during the lunch break, Mike came over to the Australian tent to handout copies of the latest DBI Newsletter (the one with Jenny's story) and he again spoke to Joanne and I at length.

We talked to him about winning Gold and how everyone in the Mixed Crew and Squad felt that we had a 21st paddler in the boat when we raced the final. I told him about the wristbands we were wearing with Jenny's "Don't wonder ‘What If?’" quote inscribed on the inside (we all raced with the wristbands inside out).

Finally, I told him how we all went into Prague the evening of the day we won” Gold”, to quietly celebrate a truly amazing experience in our lives - as the German Team told us after the Final - "we made the impossible, possible". Everyone, except Joanne and I, wore their medals out that night (indeed, some are still wearing them :-). When asked on numerous occasions where were our medals? - We said “back at the hotel room with Jenny's photo”. I think everyone understood.

Jenny with Joanne and Geoff's Medals – Prague/Hotel Duo - Day 4 - 29 Aug 2009
Just before Mike left the tent, he said to us he felt that we should have a "Special" Gold medal presented to us for Jenny, in her honour, memory and contribution to Dragon Boating. Obviously, we were quite touched by his thoughts and this gesture. As he left he said he would arrange it all, though we were not quite sure how.

During the afternoon Mike came over twice to the Australian Team Tent, from the Official's Tower (a good 10 min return trip). Joanne and I were not around both times - either racing or watching races (my only chance the whole Regatta). When I got back to the tent I had numerous people tell me an IDBF official was looking for Joanne and I - little did they know it was the President of the IDBF.

Since the Senior Women’s Team were racing the 500m Final, I decided not to find Mike until I could "round up" Joanne. Our Women's Team placed a close 4th in the Final and just as they started coming off the water, Mike appeared from behind me (yet another 10 min return trip for him) and said he would wait until Joanne came through. Being a Final, it took some time to get all the Crews off the water and through all the celebrations, back slapping and hand shaking that goes on, particularly for the final race of the Regatta for all the Senior Women’s Teams.

When Joanne was finally free, I grabbed her and then Mike presented us a “Special” Gold Medal in Jenny's Memory and Honour. As you can see from the photo below, Joanne has used Jenny's paddle since she passed away on the 30 June 2009. We all had a few tears in our eyes, including Mike. An amazing gesture and a memory I will never forget.

Geoff, Mike and Joanne with Jenny's Paddle and Gold Medal - Prague/Racice - Day 5 - Sun 30 Aug 2009
Later that evening, as the sun was setting at the Regatta’s “After Party”, which was being held at the Regatta site, Joanne and I scattered some of Jenny's Ashes on the water from the Lane One Pontoon, where we had raced the Final from and celebrated the Victory. Below, you will see some photos of the serene and peaceful sunset as we reflected back on Jenny's life and the whole Prague experience.

Joanne and Geoff scattering Jenny's Ashes - Prague/Racice - Day 5 - Sun 30 Aug 2009


Jenny’s Gold Medal from Lane 1 Pontoon - Prague/Racice - Day 5 - Sun 30 Aug 2009
Death may have ended Jenny’s Life, but our Relationship lives on. Prague has shown us all that.

Thank you Jenny, you would often say that you felt Lucky (more here) to have experienced life with Cancer. However, I consider it us to be the “Lucky Ones”. You have given us the knowledge, strength, hope, guidance and inspiration to continue to live our lives to the full. We live on in your “Afterglow”.

You will be with us, Always ..

Don’t Wonder “What If?” – Jenny P

.. just one story from Prague.

Geoff Eldridge - Jenny’s Loving Husband - 30 October 2009

Postscript: The essence of the above comes from an email I wrote (high in the French Pyrenees just 10km from the famous Col du Tourmalet of Tour De France fame) to Julia Ryall, my Club Dragon Boat Coach at Pacific Dragon’s and a truly Great Friend. I wanted to thank her for all of the effort she has put into me as paddler (four years of hard work actually and still a "work in progress") and as a friend. As I said to her before we left for Prague, she has made me the paddler I am, and indeed has helped make me the person I am. It’s not just about the paddle. Since Jenny’s passing, she has shouldered much of the responsibility for keeping the Dragon Boat community informed and coordinated (as well as her beautiful tribute). Indeed, it was Julia I asked to inform Mike Haslam about Jenny’s passing. She has also provided a “shoulder to cry on” and has helped to keep me “pointing in the right direction”, when it all seems like it has become too much. I am not sure how to really thank her, but maybe her contribution to us as paddlers and people (there were seven PD’s on the boat that day), and as a result this Prague story, will go some way to do just that ..

Julia - Thank You.
"Triple J" - Joanne, Julia and Jenny - AusDBF Nationals - After Party – Kawana/Qld - Sun 26 April 2009

Learning ..

Hidden in one of Drew Ginn's recent Blog Posts is this little piece on pushing yourself, motivation, challenges and learning - something I have done a lot of over the last 8-9 months. Thought I would pull it out here so that I can remember this great little piece of writing. Here it is:

[..] I learned to ride my rhythm, to find my own groove and to sit on the knife edge with fatigue, discomfort and sweat surrounding, penetrating and leaving me. At no stage was it intense like a rowing race or a super burst of effort. It was an experience in sustaining a level of force which body and mind was saying, 'BACK OFF'.

Like some sinister and shadowy creator holding an emotional gun to my head. Tempting as it might have been I had committed to the 7 days and on the last to having a great ride with heaps of challenge.

You could say I learned what I have learned before and now I have been reminded of it again.

Stretching and challenging is healthy. It requires us to keep pushing and to keep seeking motivation for why we would continue on. Why I asked my self on more than one occasion during the 7 days. Even as I spent the day at back home yesterday I was still asking why.

Placing your self in a challenging situation forces the questions to be asked.

I did this by going to Tassie to train with a good friend.

To train in a way which would force the questions to come thick and fast and they did and with each and every moment which one appeared I toiled and churned it around to cultivate and see what I would learn about self, others and the World I am in.

Again I say why? To learn is the only answer which I could find. To Learn, but why? It gives life.

Maybe. It brings clarity. Not always. It energises, YES, but it can also be draining.

Why then would I do any of this? Why would you? To be challenged is something which for sometime now I have said is a reason for my motivation. Maybe challenge is not enough.

Challenge without the acknowledgment of the learning required and needed is only one side of the coin. What happens if every time we toss it and it only ever landed on the challenge side.

We might assume that is all there is. Every stage, moment, event, session, day, hour and minute if challenged we might eventually find little else but a sense of seeking something which never ends.

Flipping the coin, the moment, experience and our perception can bring light to the other side or even sides. Maybe less a coin and more a cube it is with multiple sides and perspectives. A cube like RUBIX which starts out perfect with all colours separated on each side.

Then with everyday the play, the games, and events acting to jumble the cube until we finally realise it is rearranged.

How we feel about that becomes essential and what we do with it becomes simple a challenge. From this rearranged state we might begin to work to find the form or the essence of this box or cube. Learning to work with it in what ever state jumble or un-jumbled becomes important I think. Living with and learning from it. The challenge of it, the frustration and the joy.

So there it is I have gone away for 7 days of challenge which was more about learning than anything else.

Orange Bike - Toulouse - Fri 25 Sep 2009

Getting to the Core of It - Julie Snyder / Monica Alford (Mon 01 May 2017)

Eiffel - Docklands / Melbourne (Wed 03 May 2017)

Julie Snyder on Getting to the Core of It :

[what] has been very helpful to always keep in mind when approaching any story is that for the most part, people always have a reason for doing what they’re doing, even if it’s one that they can’t necessarily articulate – sometimes it’s even subconscious.

There are reasons to not jump to conclusions and not assume intentions, but instead to really pursue what those reasons are and what the mindset is behind them. I think that has really yielded for us sometimes the most interesting and emotional and meaningful stories. I think it makes the story better.

via Binge-Worthy Podcasts: "Serial" and "S-Town's" Julie Snyder by Monica Alford.

The night before brain surgery ..

Another extract from Lance Armstrong's book entitled "Its not about the bike". Some parts of the book really connected with me. Here is the one that resonates the most ..

How do you confront your own death? Sometimes I think the blood-brain barrier is more than just physical, it's emotional, too. Maybe there's a protective mechanism in our psyche that prevents us from accepting our mortality unless we absolutely have to.

Jenny - 'A little tidy up of Jenny's hair - it was always my job to do this.' - Kirrawee - 16 Jun 2009 (picasa)
The night before brain surgery, I thought about death. I searched out my larger values, and I asked myself, if I was going to die, did I want to do it fighting and clawing or in peaceful surrender? What sort of character did I hope to show? Was I content with myself and what I had done with my life so far? I decided that I was essentially a good person, although I could have been better—but at the same time I understood that the cancer didn't care.

Jenny and Geoff - 'off we head to the Hospital' - Tue 16 Jun 2009 (picasa)
I asked myself what I believed. I had never prayed a lot. I hoped hard, I wished hard, but I didn't pray. [..]

I believed, too, in the doctors and the medicine and the surgeries — I believed in that. [..]

Jenny Collage - The Night Before Brain Surgery - The White Markers were placed on Jenny's head before an MRI - they would be used by the Nuerosurgeon to assist in precisely locating the Tumor from a digital scan of the MRI. - St George Hospital - Tue 16 Jun 2009 (picasa)

Beyond that, I had no idea where to draw the line between spiritual belief and science. But I knew this much: I believed in belief, for its own shining sake. To believe in the face of utter hopelessness, every article of evidence to the contrary, to ignore apparent catastrophe— what other choice was there? We do it every day, I realized. We are so much stronger than we imagine, and belief is one of the most valiant and long-lived human characteristics. To believe, when all along we humans know that nothing can cure the briefness of this life, that there is no remedy for our basic mortality, that is a form of bravery.

Jenny with the Flowers from Julia and Todd (photo to come), and Pacific Dragons - St George Hospital - Tue 16 Jun 2009 (picasa)

To continue believing in yourself, believing in the doctors, believing in the treatment, believing in whatever I chose to believe in, that was the most important thing, I decided. It had to be.

Without belief, we would be left with nothing but an overwhelming doom, every single day. And it will beat you. I didn't fully see, until the cancer, how we fight every day against the creeping negatives of the world, how we struggle daily against the slow lapping of cynicism. Dispiritedness and disappointment, these were the real perils of life, not some sudden illness or cataclysmic millennium doomsday. I knew now why people fear cancer: because it is a slow and inevitable death, it is the very definition of cynicism and loss of spirit. So, I believed.

Jenny, Joanne, David and Geoff - "Jenny takes a photo of us all just before she heads out to have a 4cm brain tumor removed. She had no fear and looked forward to quickly recovering to resume the treatment of the tumors in her liver." - St George - 6:30am Wed 17 Jun 2009 (picasa)

Will try add some more photos (partly done now - Geoff 10 Mar 2009) and maybe some of my own recollections and thoughts on Jenny's Night before brain surgery. There is a bit of story here if I can find the strength to write about it.

Jenny - 'Just before heading out for surgery.' - St George Hospital - 7am Wed 17 Jun 2009 (picasa)

"In these small hours" (Little Wonders by Rob Thomas)

The music video for Little Wonders by Rob Thomas with Meet The Robinsons (youtube)
Today I heard this song for the first time in at least 2 years. The above is a video and the lyrics are below.

It is swelting in Sydney as I write this, at the end of hot summers day and I am covered in sweat. Spent this lovely Saturday afternoon on Sydney Harbour paddling in an OC6 from Glebe to Middle Harbour and back. Very windy, very hot and tough conditions. Still a great session and it makes you realise how lucky we are to have this beautiful city, it's harbour, the experiences we make for ourselves and the friendships we have with each other.

Pacific Dragons OC6 Mixed Crew - Paul, Jenny, Geoff, Marie, Liz, and Leslie - Ettalong / Central Coast - Jan 2007 (picasa)
Anwyay, on the way back to Alexandria from the session, in Wilson Street / Newtown [Note: 1], I had my radio on and heard this song.

Instantly, I became quite emotional (actually started crying uncontrollably - yes I'll admit it) and had to pull over. It was the song I had been trying to find for the last 19 months, since Jenny left us. I did not know it's title or any of the lyrics. All I knew was the tune. As a result, this made it difficult to track down. Apart from the tune, I also felt it was a Matchbox Twenty song.

Jenny had talked about it on it's release, when someone in her Cancer Support Group played the song at one the weekly Tuesday meetings. It seemed to mean a lot to Jenny and all her colleagues at the Group. 

I had tried to find the song many times since Jenny's passing, and I now know I was looking in the wrong place, as it is Rob Thomas song, not a Matchbox Twenty song (I had even bought a few Matchbox Twenty CD's to try and find the song, obviously to no avail).

While listening to the song in the car this afternoon, all I tried to do was remember (my memory is not that flash) a line from the chorus so that I could search for it as soon as I got back to Alexandria. The line I remembered was: 

In these small hours

A quick search found the above video and I then realised the song was from a Disney Animation Movie Meet The Robinsons, which I know little about (I am sure it is very good - actually have half a feeling that Jenny and Jo may have sneaked it in one Tuesday afternoon at the Movies. Will check with Jo). So I have no idea of the meaning of the song in the context of the Movie. Though with every song I think we are allowed to bring our own experiences and interpretations to it, even if we mishear the lyrics (I am reassured that this is OK :-). 

Over the years, when Jenny was with us, I would often force myself to stay awake at night, so that I could hear her breathing (we were both good sleepers and it was often a race to see who would nod off first). The sound of her breath, and the silhouette of the rise and fall of the sheets covering her chest, gave me some reassurance. I could not comprehend that one day the cancer might extingusish the breath of this amazing person (where do I start to explain) and take this beautiful woman from us.

Jenny Asleep - Barbara's - Balmoral/Brisbane - Fri 19 Dec 2003
So when I hear the line:

In these small hours 

I think of those nights and the small hours where I would lay awake watching and listening to her breath - I would often tell Jenny that it was like music to my ears.

Anyway, I will leave it that. I will buy the CD and put the song on my iPhone. I need to listen to it some more and try to make the connection to the song that Jenny and her friends at the Sutherland Shire Cancer Support Group made to it. I suspect for me it might mean something completely different to Jenny as I can already see some things that I have felt since Jenny left us.

A bit of ramble but it is nice to capture these fragments of my memory here.

Needless to say, very excited to have found this song

Maybe the The hardest part is over? 

I know in writing this: These small hours - Still remain

As we said to each other every night (and I still do) as we lay in bed before nodding off to sleep:

Good Night, Sweet Dreams, God Bless, Love You.

With love and fond memories .. Geoff

[Note 1]: I love Wilson Street ( Newtown) - so many little things have happened there recently and over the years (at least in my own mind). Maybe these are some of These little wonders the song refers. I know these little things have helped me a lot over the last 19 months as I move through the grieving process [see Quote: Half a Life - NYT Book Review (12 Sep 2010) (17 Oct 2010) - in some ways that post was a real turning point for me when I look back at it now].

Little Wonders 
Rob Thomas

Let it go
Let it roll right off your shoulder
Don't you know
The hardest part is over
Let it in
Let your clarity define you 
In the end
We will only just remember how it feels

Our lives are made
In these small hours 
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate 
Time falls away,
But these small hours
These small hours 
Still remain

Let it slide
Let your troubles fall behind you
Let it shine,
Till you feel it all around you
And I don't mind 
If it's me you need to turn to 
We'll get by
It's the heart that really matters in the end

Our lives are made
In these small hours 
These little wonders
These twists and turns of fate 
Time falls away
But these small hours
These small hours
Still remain

All of my regret
Will wash away somehow
But I cannot forget
the way I feel right now

In these small hours
These little wonders 
These twists and turns of fate
Yeah, these twisted turns of fate
Time falls away
Yeah, but these small hours, 
These small hours
Still remain

Yeah, oh they still remain
These little wonders
All these twists and turns of fate
Time falls away 
But these small hours 
These little wonders
Still remain

On Ambiguity - Joel Meyerowitz (Fri 25 Jan 2013)

No Stopping - Henderson Road / Alexandria (Mon 31 Dec 2012)
Joel Meyerowitz (*) talks On Ambiguity (*):

You often hear people talking about the intricacies and the mechanics of the medium, more than about the emotional content—the ephemeral characteristics of the way time and moments change.

I felt that ambiguity is an important characteristic in my work, as it is in life itself.

via Joel Meyerowitz on What He’s Learned: Part II (*) by David Walker

Cronulla Legacy Meeting (Mon 16 Mar 2009)

I recently found a copy of the following speech that Jenny had drafted just after being told she had multiple tumors across her liver. Shortly after sending it to me, Jenny was told that the Meeting had been postponed and the speech would be rescheduled to a later date. Sadly, Jenny did not have the opportunity to present the speech as she passed away on the Tue 30 Jun 2009. She was looking forward to giving the speech, as Jenny and Joanne's Mother, Margaret, had been a member of the neighbouring Miranda Legacy Group.

After finding the email with the Speech, I read the speech again and I was pleased to reread the sections on the National Breast Cancer Foundation (NBCF) towards the end of the speech (here). Jo and I have been working with the NBCF over the last few months to help with their XMAS Fund Raising Campaign (here) which will help fund the work of Professor Matt Trau's Research Team's work into the early detection of the spread of secondary cancer.

It is nice to be reminded that Jenny was aware of his team's work and we know she would have fully supported being involved in the fund raising campaign (Jenny's Story). I have annotated the speech with photos from Jenny's Power Point Presentation.

Geoff - 23 Nov 2010

Cronulla Legacy Meeting
Monday 16th March, 2009
Jenny Petterson


"Cancer is something that people do not expect to happen to them and no matter who is diagnosed, and at whatever time in their life, it is a shock"
Jenny Petterson - Rainbow / Byron Bay - Oct 2007 (picasa)
Thank you everyone for having me. The National Breast Cancer Foundation has raised an enormous amount of funds for use into breast cancer research and I will detail the three biggest projects later in my speech.

Cancer is something that people do not expect to happen to them and no matter who is diagnosed, and at whatever time in their life, it is a shock which has huge ramifications for not only the person involved but also their family and friends. It takes a lot of adjustment to get used to.

Family Photo #1 - Camilla Gardens / Caringbah - Jan 1991 (picasa)
Family Photo #2 - Japenese Restaurant / Neutral Bay - Apr 2003 (picasa)
Family Photo #3 - Thomas' Birthday - Bronte - Jun 2003 (picasa)
We have been involved with Dragons Abreast Australia for about 8 years now. I will talk about how I came to be involved with Dragons Abreast later but firstly I will begin with my personal story with breast cancer.

Jo and Jenny - Dragons Abreast Sydney - Blackwattle Bay / Sydney - 2004 (picasa)
Dragons Abreast Sydney - Blackwattle Bay / Glebe - May 2004 (picasa)
Dragons Abreast Sydney - Darling Harbour / Sydney - Feb 2006 (picasa)
My first association with breast cancer was when I was seventeen years old and studying for my HSC. My Aunty who had just turned fifty at the time she was diagnosed with breast cancer. Back then I had no understanding of the terms primary cancer or secondary cancer and the significance of the difference between these terms. Sadly my aunty passed away three years after her initial diagnosis.

"My Aunty who had just turned fifty at the time she was diagnosed with breast cancer."
Aunty Elsie, Jenny, Joanne - Cronulla (picasa)
Seventeen years after my aunty’s diagnosis, I was told at age thirty four that I too had breast cancer. This was a complete bolt out of the blue as I had always been extremely healthy and played a lot of sport.

Jenny and Joanne - 100m Hurdles - Sylvania Waters - 197? (picasa)
Little Athletics - Pagewood (picasa)
Little Athletics - Pagewood (picasa)
I initially had a lumpectomy but the pathology indicated that all the cancer had not been removed, so the following week I underwent a mastectomy and removal of all lymph nodes under my arm. I had a reconstruction at the same time. My prognosis was excellent. There was no lymph node involvement and I needed no further treatment. I went back to work and my life just carried on normally.

Jenny - Post Surgery - Hurstville Community Hospital - Apr 1997 (picasa)
Margaret and Jenny - Post Surgery - Hurstville Community Hospital - Apr 1997 (picasa)
That was until nine months after my initial diagnosis when my mother was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Her situation was extremely serious requiring chemotherapy to reduce the size of the tumour before surgery. The next sixteen months were a real roller coaster ride for my mother with chemotherapy followed by more surgery and then more chemotherapy.

Jenny, Margaret and Joanne - 1998 (picasa)
Joanne, Margaret and Jenny - Port Macquarie - May 1998 (picasa)
It was during this time that my mother, my twin sister Jo and I took up meditation as a way of helping ourselves in addition to what the medical community were offering us. The three of us all had very positive attitudes but the meditation also seemed to give us peace of mind. Our father had passed away six years earlier. Our meditation teacher was amazing and helped us through many difficult periods that followed. We had the opportunity to meditate in the centre of Australia at Uluru which was a very empowering experience.

Margaret, Jenny, Ian Gawler and Joanne - Ian Gawler Foundation / Victoria - Jan 1999 (picasa)
Jenny, Joanne, Margaret and Norm - Parliament House / Canberra - 1988 (picasa)
Joanne, Barbara and Jenny - Uluru - Dec 1999 (picasa)
Due to our strong family history of hormone related cancers we were referred to the Prince of Wales Hereditary Clinic for genetic testing. I also have an uncle with prostate cancer and a cousin with breast cancer. While initially there was no conclusive evidence of the common breast cancer gene some variances are currently being investigated and Jo undergoes regular checkups every six months as we are identical twins.

Joanne and Jenny - Pompidou Centre / Paris - 26 Aug 2005 (picasa)
Jenny and Joanne - Darling Harbour / Sydney - Feb 2004 (picasa)
Family Photo - Kirrawee / Sydney - Aug 2006 (picasa)
During that same period I received the news that I had a local recurrence within the scar tissue. This was removed and I then began a six week course of radiotherapy and six month course of chemotherapy. My mother and I were undergoing chemotherapy at the same time.

Jenny, Margaret and Joanne - Port Macquarie - May 1998 (picasa)
Jenny, Margaret and Joanne - Miranda - 1998 (picasa)
Unfortunately as is so often the case with ovarian cancer, it is very advanced before it is diagnosed. My mother had a real battle on her hands but she put up a very strong, courageous fight. Jo and I had the honour of caring for her at home for eight weeks until sadly she was succumbed by the disease.

Margaret - Miranda - 1998 (picasa)
Four months after my chemotherapy was finished I was diagnosed with secondary cancer in my lungs. There were at least ten tumours across both my lungs and it was inoperable. The situation was extremely serious. My oncologist advised me to give up my job and do something that I really enjoyed. I didn’t go back to work but rather concentrated on getting better. That was nine years ago.

Jenny, Jodie, and Joanne - Darling Harbour / Sydney - Feb 2007 (picasa)
(picasa)
Dragons Abreast Sydney - Woronora - Dec 2004 (picasa)
Three months after my lung tumours were diagnosed I got engaged. Geoff and I were married ten weeks later. It looked like I may have needed more chemotherapy and I didn’t want to get married with no hair so we fast tracked the arrangements. As it turned out I didn’t have any chemotherapy at that stage. I started on hormone therapy which involved a daily tablet and monthly injections at the hospital.

Joanne, Tim, Geoff, Jenny, David and Jenny (picasa)
Sylvania Heights - 30 Mar 2000 (picasa)
Jenny and Geoff - Sylvania Heights - 30 Mar 2000 (picasa)
It was at one of those monthly visits to the hospital that I noticed an advertisement for Dragons Abreast Australia. This was a group of breast cancer survivors and supporters who paddled a dragon boat for fun, fitness and to raise awareness of breast cancer. It sounded like the perfect sport for Jo and I. We joined our local club Port Hacking, because at that time there was not a branch of Dragons Abreast in Sydney. It was fantastic. To get out on the water in the early morning when it is so still and quiet and to paddle was exhilarating.
Dragons Abreast Sydney - Darling Harbour / Sydney - Feb 2006 (picasa)
Dragons Abreast Sydney - Woronora - Dec 2004 (picasa)
From this time on our lives changed. We would go to regattas and paddle with the Dragons Abreast ladies from all over Australia. It wasn’t about competition but rather about having fun and making new friends with other ladies who had walked a similar path and really understood what you had been through.

Dragons Abreast Australia - Darling Harbour / Sydney - 2006 (picasa)
CT scans showed that the tumours in my lungs had reduced to one solitary tumour. Then, at the beginning of 2003 one of my regular CT scans showed that this tumour was increasing in size and there were another two tumours. The advice was to wait for three months and see what happened as they were slow growing. The next CT scan was to reveal something totally unexpected – a large tumour in my abdomen as well as a growth in the size of the lung tumours. I commenced a course of chemotherapy under a clinical trial.

Chemo - Joanne and Jenny - St George Cancer Center - Jul 2003 (picasa)
Jenny - Blackwattle Bay / Glebe - Jun 2003 (picasa)
Jenny - St George - Jul 2003 (picasa)
Jenny - St George Hospital - Aug 2003 (picasa)
As I was a survivor I was eligible to paddle in the Dragons Abreast Challenge at the coming World Championships in Shanghai in 2003. We started to think how could Jo get to compete at this event. Firstly, we thought she could learn to sweep. However, while we were coming into the off-season here, there would be no regattas where she could gain the appropriate experience to sweep overseas. Then, we were lucky enough to hear how NSW were trying to set up a selective team to compete at the Nationals in Adelaide. It was a long shot but we thought that it was worth a try. There was a chance that if Jo qualified in the NSW team and they were successful at the Nationals, then they would become the team to represent Australia and that way we would both get to paddle in Shanghai.

Joanne after practicising Single Dragon Boat Water Trial ('That's Gizzie in Seat 1') - Port Hacking / Sydney - Jul 2003 (picasa)
Well Jo made it into the first selective NSW team. They won at the Nationals and training began for the Shanghai campaign. But things didn’t work out as planned. China was faced with the SARS crisis. The World Championships were cancelled in Shanghai and moved to Poznan in Poland. The Australian team were well into their training and decided to compete in Poland. The Dragons Abreast team decided not to go to Poland and in the meantime I had been quite sick and was unable to travel.

2003 Australian Dragon Boat Team - Poznan Bound - Sydney International Airport (Aug 2003) (picasa)

In the lead up to Poland I would go out to Penrith every month and video the team. The footage was used by the coaches to analyse the paddling technique of the team. Just seeing all these fit people inspired me to get over my chemotherapy and get back in the dragon boat.

Jenny with the Video Camera - Sydney International Airport - Australian Team Departure - Aug 2003 (picasa)
The next year in 2004, I decided I would train really hard and try out for a spot on the NSW team. I felt I had nothing to lose and didn’t want to have any regrets and think down the track “I wonder whether I would have made it or not?” Well I made it into the NSW team and competed at the National Championships. Following a win there Jo and I represented Australia at the World Championships in Shanghai. We had finally made our dream of competing in Shanghai. This time we were both competing for Australia. Jo won a bronze medal in the Australian Premier Mixed Team.

Australian Masters Women's Dragon Boat Team - Shanghai - Oct 2004 (picasa)
Australian Masters Women's Dragon Boat Team - Shanghai - Oct 2004 (picasa)
Australian Premier Mixed Dragon Boat Team - Shanghai - Oct 2004 (picasa)
Joanne - Australian Premier Mixed Dragon Boat Team - Shanghai - Oct 2004 (picasa)
Australian Premier Mixed Dragon Boat Team - Shanghai - Oct 2004 (picasa)
Joanne - Australian Premier Mixed Dragon Boat Team - Shanghai - Oct 2004 (picasa)
The following year Geoff, Jo and I competed at the World Championships in Berlin. Jo and I competed together in the Australian Premier Women’s Team and Jo was also the coach for the NSW and Australian Masters Women’s Team.

Australian Masters Mixed Dragon Boat 500m Team - 2005 IDBF World Dragon Boat Championships - Berlin - Fri 05 Aug 2005
I am monitored on a regular basis and the CT scan I had at the beginning of 2006 showed that the remaining tumour in my lung had grown and there was another tumour there. I underwent some more chemotherapy and a four week course of radiotherapy on my lung.

I kept up my training with both of my oncologist’s encouragement and was part of the NSW team in 2006. Jo and I were joint coaches for the NSW Masters Women Team and we competed at the National Championships in Nagambie, which is a small town in country Victoria. NSW went very well and won the right to represent Australia at the Asian Dragon Boat Championships in Macau in September of that year.

Jenny and Joanne - NSW Masters Women's Coaches - Nagambie / Victoria - Apr 2006 (picasa)
I had the honour of carrying the Australian flag at the opening ceremony.

Jenny - Australian Dragon Boat Team - Opening Ceremony - Asian Dragon Boat Championships - Macau / China - Sep 2006 (picasa)
Jenny - Australian Dragon Boat Team - Opening Ceremony - Asian Dragon Boat Championships - Macau / China - Sep 2006 (picasa)
The Australian team went really well and finished third overall behind China and Macau. The women’s team of which I was a member of won a bronze medal in the 500m. It was such an emotional time when we all came off the boat after the race and it was confirmed that we had come third. The day before we had been beaten by a fraction of a second by Chinese Tapei into fourth place and we all wanted to win a medal so much. It was such an amazing experience standing on the podium wearing the green and gold Australian tracksuit watching the Australian flag being hoisted up the flagpole next to the Chinese and Macau flags.

Bronze Medalists - Australian Women's Dragon Boat Team - Macau - Sep 2006 (picasa)
Bronze Medalists - Australian Women's Dragon Boat Team - Macau - Sep 2006 (picasa)
Sylvia and Jenny - Macau - Sep 2006 (picasa)
Less than two months before we were due to head off to Macau my implant had ruptured. I was very fortunate to have it replaced quickly to allow me to get over the surgery and back to training before we left for Macau.

Joanne, Jenny and Geoff - St George Private Hospital - Aug 2006 (picasa)
On our return from Macau a routine CT scan showed that I had an accumulation of fluid around my lung. I had it drained so I was able to take part in the Hawkesbury Canoe Classic. This is an 111 kilometre race from Windsor to Brooklyn along the Hawkesbury River. All types of craft including kayaks, canoes, outrigger canoes and surf skis take part in the race. It was a fantastic experience. I was a member of a six person team who paddled an outrigger canoe. Geoff and Jo were also in the team. We set off at 6pm and paddled through the night arriving 13 hours later. It was such a great experience under a sky filled with thousands of stars.

Joanne, Jenny and Geoff - Hawkesbury Canoe Classic 2006 - Windsor - Sat 28 Oct 2006 (picasa)
Pacific Dragons Crews and Supporters - Hawkesbury Canoe Classic 2006 - Windsor - Sat 28 Oct 2006 (picasa)
Jenny and Joanne - Hawkesbury Canoe Classic 2006 - Windsor - Sat 28 Oct 2006 (picasa)
Sunrise - Hawkesbury Canoe Classic 2006 - Hawkesbury River - Sun 29 Oct 2006 (picasa)
Sunrise - Hawkesbury Canoe Classic 2006 - Hawkesbury River - Sun 29 Oct 2006 (picasa)
Team Happy - Geoff, Jenny, Mandy, Jo, Nicci and Paul - Hawkesbury Canoe Classic 2006 - Brooklyn - Sun 29 Oct 2006 (picasa)
The fluid again filled up in my lung cavity so I had it drained before the time trials for the NSW team selection for the 2007 team to give me a better chance. I made it into the team along with Geoff and Jo.

The fluid began building up again so it was time to fix the problem permanently. In February I underwent an operation where my lung was glued to the lung cavity.

Jenny - Lung Operaton - St George Private Hospital - Feb 2007 (picasa)
Over Easter the National Dragon Boat Championships were held at Penrith. NSW earnt the right to represent Australia at the World Championships in a number of categories including the ones that Geoff, Jo and I were involved with. Competition was really close. For the first time ever the World Championships were held in Sydney.

NSW Masters Women's Team - Penrith / Sydney - Apr 2007 (picasa)NSW Masters Women's Team - Penrith / Sydney - Apr 2007 (picasa)
NSW Masters Women's Team - Penrith / Sydney - Apr 2007 (picasa)
Then in April after we had the place to compete in Sydney a CT scan revealed I had a tumour in my liver. They were retrialling for the Sydney team on the Sunday and what I was really concerned about was would I be okay to trial. I was okay and I did the best trial I have ever done and confirmed my position in the team.

I underwent a liver resection where they removed 20 percent of my liver. Three weeks later I needed to have my gall bladder removed because it had died as a result of the liver surgery. I was so lucky that my spot in the team was held open for me. My doctors were so helpful in getting me the treatment quickly and getting me back in the boat as soon as they could. I started another course of chemotherapy and had one cycle before the World Championships and the rest after.

"I underwent a liver resection where they removed 20 percent of my liver."
Jenny - Liver Resection - St George Private Hospital - Jun 2007 (picasa)
Jenny - Liver Resection - St George Private Hospital - Jun 2007 (picasa)
It was the most successful World Championships Australia has ever competed at. Jo and I won a silver and a bronze medal in the Masters Womens and Geoff won three silver medals in the Masters Men. Jo and Geoff also won bronze medals in the Masters Mixed.

Joanne and Jenny - World Dragon Boat Championships - Penrith - Sep 2007 (picasa)Joanne, Geoff and Joanne - World Dragon Boat Championships - Penrith - Sep 2007 (picasa)
Australian Masters Dragon Boat Tema - World Dragon Boat Championships - Penrith - Sep 2007 (picasa)
The weekend after the World Championships was Dragons Abreast Australia regatta on the Sunshine Coast in Queensland. This was fantastic with over 1,600 breast cancer survivors from all over Australia, Canada, USA, New Zealand and Italy competing.

On returning from Queensland, bone scans then revealed the cancer had spread to my bones. At the beginning of 2008 I had two weeks of radiotherapy on my sacrum, head and lower right leg. I got over this quickly and got back in the boat for the Chinese New Year regatta.

International Dragons Abreast Festival - Kawana / Queensland (picasa)
Geoff, Jenny, Don McKenzie and Joanne - International Dragons Abreast Festival - Kawana / Queensland (picasa)
Joanne, Michelle and Jenny - International Dragons Abreast Festival - Kawana / Queensland (picasa)
We were then starting to train for the World Club Crew Championships in Penang this year. The World Club Crew Championships is different to the World Championships in that it is the best clubs that compete, in your club uniform, rather than a selective crew competing as the Australian team. My whole upper body just swelled up overnight. I didn’t know what was wrong and didn’t associate it with the cancer. As it turned out a lymph node in my chest was pushing on the main vessel to the heart and it had caused a clot to form. Lucky for me it didn’t completely block it off as this is where all the blood drains from the top half of the body. Another course of chemotherapy followed. The drugs caused my resting heart rate to be raised so I couldn’t train while having the chemotherapy. As soon as I was finished with the chemotherapy and had the relevant heart tests I was back in the boat to try and build up for Penang. This was a great regatta and we managed to place 4th which was very exciting. There were about thirty of the best club crews from around the world in each category.

Jenny and Joanne - Penang - Club Crew World Championships - Aug 2008 (picasa)
Pacific Dragons - Penang - Club Crew World Championships - Aug 2008 (picasa)
A scan showed that the tumour in my lung has started to grow so I had some more radiotherapy and bracchi therapy. This is where a wire is connected from your nose into your lung and radiotherapy is injected.

Last week a scan showed that the cancer has spread right through my liver. I start a new treatment on Thursday which involves chemotherapy and a new drug which stops blood systems being setup for new tumours.


We have been training hard for the Nationals this year. Last week it was confirmed the night I received the liver news, that I had made it into the A team. My doctor’s advice was that I could keep training while undergoing treatment.

Jenny and Joanne - NSW Outrigger Sprint Titles - Penrith (picasa)
Pacific Dragons - Outrigging Canoe Race Ettalong - Jan 2007 (picasa)
We train three sessions a week in a dragon boat, two sessions in an outrigger canoe, do three weight sessions at the gym and at least three cardio sessions. The great thing is that Geoff, Jo and I get to train together.

"The great thing is that Geoff, Jo and I get to train together."
Jenny, Geoff and Jo - Macau / China - Sep 2006 (picasa)
Pacific Dragons - Australian National Dragon Boat Championships - Apr 2007 (picasa)
A number of things have helped me through my cancer journey.

• I have a fantastic team of doctors and medical professionals that do so much to help me. When something is worrying me I know they really listen and do something to help me immediately,

• I look forward to any treatment offered to me as another step towards conquering this disease. Whenever I go for chemotherapy I never think "I wish this chemo course was over", I think "Great, here is another opportunity to get rid of the cancer".

• Over the past few years I have had a number of hospital stays. I look at these as time that my body needs to have a rest. I find them very relaxing and as Geoff’s says when I am packing my bag to go to hospital That’s right, you’re off on holidays".

• I have always said to all of my doctors "Don’t give me a prognosis". I believe the mind is very powerful and I don’t want it locking onto any sort of timeframe. My mother was of the same opinion and she didn’t want her doctors to put any time constraints on her life. I am not silly, I know my situation is serious as through my associations with cancer support groups I have seen others with a similar diagnosis to me not be so lucky. But everyone’s journey is different. Each time I see a new doctor I say up front Don’t give me a time.

Greg, Joanne, Jenny and Jodie - Darling Harbour - Feb 2005 (picasa)
Paul, Jenny and Joanne - St George Private Hospital - Jul 2004 (picasa)
Joanne, Dr Horton and Jenny - St George Private Hospital - Jan 2007 (picasa)

• I am a member of the Sutherland Shire Cancer Support Group. It is made up of the most amazing bunch of people. The members have all been involved in either their own or a family member’s cancer journey so they understand where each other is coming from. There are lots of laughs in the group as well as sad times but everyone is always there for everyone else.

Geoff, Jenny and Doug - Sutherland Shire Cancer Support Group - Daffodil Day - Sylvania - Aug 2000 (picasa)
Sutherland Shire Cancer Support Group - Daffodil Day - Sylvania - Aug 2000 (picasa)
Sutherland Shire Cancer Support Group - Daffodil Day - Sylvania - Aug 2000 (picasa)

• And finally, last but not least, is Dragons Abreast Australia. This organization has given me so much to live for. As you have heard, it inspires me on, whenever there is a bump in the road.

Sutherland Shire Cancer Support Group - Sutherland Relay for Life - May 2003 (picasa)
Sutherland Shire Cancer Support Group - Sutherland Relay for Life - May 2003 (picasa)
Sutherland Shire Cancer Support Group - Sutherland Relay for Life - May 2003 (picasa)
Sutherland Shire Cancer Support Group - Sutherland Relay for Life - May 2003 (picasa)
I became involved with the National Breast Cancer Foundation through Dragons Abreast Australia. They were setting up a Speakers Bureau and were looking for breast cancer survivors who may be interested in helping them out. I am not a person who would normally volunteer to do public speaking but I felt the work of the National Breast Cancer Foundation was so important that I would like to help out. The Speakers Bureau puts a human face on breast cancer and the research funded by the National Breast Cancer Foundation.

NBCF Pink Ribbon Magazine Launch - Darling Harbour - Oct 2004 (picasa)
The National Breast Cancer Foundation is a not-for-profit, community funded organization responsible for funding research into all aspects of breast cancer research. Research is from the laboratory, to the bedside, and beyond.

The National Breast Cancer Foundation was founded in 1994. Since this time there has been a rise in the survival rate despite the fact that more people are diagnosed. This is because treatment has improved through research. Detection has increased, public awareness has increased and research has increased. Long term investments have made improvements but there is still a big improvement to be made, and that is to find the cause and cure for breast cancer.

Joanne, Marie Bashir and Jenny - Sydney Breast Cancer Foundation - Pink Ribbon Lunch - 12 Oct 2004 (picasa)
The National Breast Cancer Foundation has recently announced three five million dollar projects. It is the first time in Australia that this level of funding has been committed to breast cancer research. For someone currently fighting breast cancer this was very exciting and inspiring.

The latest project is a collaboration between the Federal Government and the National Breast Cancer Foundation. They have each contributed 2.5 million dollars. It is a project with BreastScreen initially in Victoria, but then all over Australia where people 50 – 69 years will be asked questions on lifestyle, exercise levels and diet. The National Breast Cancer Foundation will start a similar survey with people of all ages. This will create a huge database and is the first situation around the world where researchers will have information before the breast cancer has been has been developed. Anyone down the track, who finds they have breast cancer will be asked to give tissue samples.

Geoff, Angela and Jenny - Sydney Breast Cancer Foundation - Pink Ribbon Lunch - 12 Oct 2004 (picasa)
The other two new long term projects involve almost 40 researcher from a range of sciences. They are collaborative projects and the experts say that large scale collaborative projects will greatly reduce the time to find the answers for breast cancer.

One of these projects involves creating a new detection technology that may be as easy as a blood test. Using nanotechnology and molecular genetics, this technology would have a major impact on early detection, and treatment of advanced breast cancer patients. Researchers from NSW and Queensland will be working on this project.

One of these projects involves creating a new detection technology that may be as easy as a blood test.
Professor Matt Trau - Brisbane / Uni of Qld (picasa)
The other project involves studying the body’s nuclear receptors to discover and fast-track information to help with prevention, new treatments and boosting existing treatments.

Jenny, Petria Thomas and Joanne - 2004 NSW Sports Awards - Feb 2005 (picasa)
Geoff, Jenny, John Eales and Joanne - Sydney - Sep 2006 (picasa)

Joanne, Jenny, Michelle and Caroline - Australian Story 10th Anniversary - ABC Studios / Ultimo / Sydney (picasa)

Jenny and Joanne - Australia's Biggest Loser - Dec 2007 (picasa)
Patricia, Janice, Bert, Jenny and Joanne - Family Fued - Aug 2006 (picasa)
[Geoff: Jenny would normally finish her speech with the following bolded dot points. I have added this section because I would have suggested that to her when finalising the speech (this was only the first draft). To me it was always the best bit of her speeches as it showed us how she chose to live her life. ]

In finishing if I can offer some suggestions which have helped me through the past twelve years:

• keep a positive attitude,



• live each day one at a time but do set goals for yourself,



• surround yourself with positive, supportive people,



• take time for yourself, and



• do something with your life that you really enjoy.

I feel I am so lucky and have a wonderful life. I have had some great opportunities through breast cancer to meet some very inspiring people. Geoff and Jo have been a constant source of support for me. Breast cancer has totally changed my life but for the best.


Jenny, Geoff and Joanne - St George Private Hospital - 19 Aug 2006 (picasa)
Thank you .. Jenny

Jenny - Coffs Harbour - 25 Dec 2005 (picasa)

Jenny's Speech as pdf.

Jenny's Overhead Powerpoint Presentation as pdf.