One of the benefits of travel and distance is perspective.via Life in the Time of Choleric by ribbonfarm.
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query Perspective. Sort by date Show all posts
Showing posts sorted by relevance for query Perspective. Sort by date Show all posts
Sunday, February 5, 2017
Travel, Distance and Perspective - Ribbonfarm / Breaking Smart (Sat 04 Feb 2017)
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Thursday, December 27, 2012
2013 Auroras Senior B Selection Squad - Lotus Bay / Canberra (Fri 21 Dec - Sun 23 Dec 2012)
Note to self. A personal guide for the Campaign and beyond ..
A few photos and words from my heart following the 2013 Auroras Senior B Selection Camp in Canberra from 21-23 Dec 2012.
Congratulations to all that put themselves forward for selection for the 2013 Auroras Senior B Dragon Boat Squad which will participate at the World Dragon Boat Championships in Szeged, Hungary in late July 2013.
Putting yourself up for selection and having dreams, hopes and goals is always a risky business as they can all be dashed in a moment.
For those whose journey for this campaign ended at the selection camp, you have my admiration and respect. My heart goes out to you, but I also know that there are future opportunities and with a plan, determination and perseverance you can achieve everything you want out of paddling and life. We have a number of role models in this regard and I encourage you to follow their lead. The camp will have given you perspective and a path forward to realising all your dreams and goals. It's a decision you make and it is all in your hands.
For those successful in selection, I congratulate you and I feel your elation in the trust the coaches have given us to represent Australia as the 2013 Auroras Senior B World Championship Dragon Boat Squad.
I thank those from the 2011 Auroras Squad (*) who have come back to give it another go. Your experience will be invaluable as we all learnt so much about ourselves, the importance of teamwork and what it is to compete on the world stage against the best the world has to offer.
The competition is intense and goals are achieved through your commitment to the training programme; trust in yourself, your team mates, managers and coaches.
Having done a few campaigns now, my advice is to savior every moment of the campaign. There can be feelings of elation, disappointment and every emotion in between. That is the nature of paddling at this level and I have learnt it is how we handle and respond to these emotions, that will mould who we are and who we will become. You have to an awareness of yourself and those around you - to be emotionally strong not only for yourself, but more importantly for the team, since our sport is the true essence of team work.
There are few words that stick in my mind from all my experiences in paddling and life. They are Trust, Belief and Risk.
Trust - Trust yourselves, your team mates, your managers and coaches. Remember the first time you stood in dragon boat in the standup paddle drill at the selection camp. Serge and Blair would not have asked us to do this if they thought we could not do it. They trusted us, as we trusted them. I saw no hesitation from either side. This is the kind of trust we need to find, particularly when we are uncertain. We just need to go with it and it will happen.
Belief (*) - You have to believe in yourself, and your supporters in paddling and in life. Most importantly you have to believe in the campaign, the process, your team mates, managers and coaches. I find this quote (*) gives me perspective, understanding and strength:
If you believe, you are stronger and the light will shine on you.Risk - by getting to this point, we have all proved we are not averse to taking a risk or two. At this level, the stakes and emotions are heightened. There are risks all round as we step into the unknown to compete against the best in the world. We have control of many things and this is our focus, but there are others things which we don't, for as you see, I have learnt there is an underlying randomness to it all. This is where adaptability comes in, as we respond in a measured and considered way to the random events that are tossed our way and that which we may confront. Take nothing for granted, success is not attained easily. Often, time and persistence is required.
Finally, be prepared to let go of everything you know and to start from zero (*). It would take me a long time to learn this one and it only came to me in Busan (*) at the 2012 Asian Dragon Boat Championships in Sep 2012. Ask Paul Langley as we learnt this together in the Mixed 10's (*). I became the paddler and person I always wanted to be on that hot sunny day in Busan.
We have an amazing blend of enthusiasm, hardened experience and raw newness at this level. Focus on what you can control, trust and believe and the rest will look after itself. I feel privileged to share this experience with you and look forward to what lays ahead.
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Wednesday, December 28, 2016
Hope - Story of Telling (Wed 28 Dec 2016)
Story of Telling on Hope:
Hope impacts our internal narrative acting like the aperture of a camera’s lens controlling the amount of light reaching the film. It makes us more resourceful, fuels our resilience and strengthens our resolve. We might not have the ability to alter the scene but we can change our perspective.via The Power Of Perspective by Story of Telling.
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Tuesday, July 26, 2011
2011 Inspire Award - Pacific Dragons (Sat 16 Jul 2011)
Jo and I thank Pacific Dragons for Jenny's Memory to be remembered through the annual presentation of the Inspire Award (*).
Jo and I were honoured to present the 2011 Inspire Award (*) to Nicola Frowen and Lisa Green at the Pacific Dragons AGM held on Sat 16 Jul 2011.
My nomination for this award follows. As you will read, in many ways this award was a personal thank you to both Lisa and Nicola for the contribution they have made to helping me find my place in a new world.
From: Geoff
Date: 17 June 2011 1:21:04 PM AEST
To: "geoffeldridge@yahoo.com.au"
Subject: Inspire Award (*) Nomination ..
My nomination is for two people - Nicola Frowen and Lisa Green.
Why two people? I have thought about the nomination long and hard. For me, it came down to Lisa and Nicola, but when I started to write “why” for each of them, I found was virtually writing the same thing. As you will come to see, if you have not already realised – they are twins and that has meaning and implication.
Nicola and Lisa are actively involved in the running of the club, both from an administrative and paddling perspective. Both are long term committee members filling important roles, ensuring the short-term vitality and long term viability of the club. They are goal driven and process oriented, and constantly and consistently achieve results, through hard-work, effort and persistence. They are both adaptable and willing, and they will take on ad hoc and often difficult tasks at short notice. They are always approachable and fulfil the responsibilities in a collaborative and friendly way.
Lisa and Nicola have made vital contributions to the club as coaches and managers. Lisa and Nicola as OC6 Coaches – taking many club sessions and coaching the 2011 Takapuna Team. Nicola and Lisa have both helped with the Single Craft sessions. On the Dragon Boat side of things Nicola, with Lisa’s support managed the 2011 Macua bound PD’s Dragon Boat – they performed all the administrative tasks –before, during and after; arranged flights, accommodation, sponsorship, uniforms, etc. In my view we would not have left our shores, if it was not for Nicola and Lisa. The hardest thing about becoming World Champions in Macau, was not crossing the line first, it was actually getting there. Without Nicola’s drive, particularly, our world champion memories would still be just dreams. We cannot thank you enough.
As paddlers, they have excelled this year. Be it, in the Dragon Boat, OC6 or OC1, they have trained with dedication and purpose. This has resulted in PB’s in many areas and rankings in the top echelons of the various crews and craft. In this area they are twins again – often ranking within metres or seconds of each other in the various trials that are conducted for crew selections. In individual events, they are often on each other’s tail in the last metres of an OC1 race. They do all of this in a quiet, humble and modest way. I have seen them have draw confidence from their achievements and they have used them to keep improving – the best is yet to come for both.
It is easy to be inspired by their achievements as Club members. However, from a personal perspective, they have become role models to me – I see them as strong and independent people, and they have helped guide and inspire me as I try to find my place in the world without Jenny. Along with Joanne, both Lisa and Nicola have supported, guided and inspired me – they all already know this. I know Jenny would be touched by the time they have taken to listen to me, the advice they have given and the inspiration they have provided when I have questioned myself during times when I was completely lost in grief and the shock of Jenny’s passing.
When one becomes as actively involved in the clubs running, events and happenings (as Nicola and Lisa have), there are bound to be times that are difficult, and there have been a few such times. I know that they have each supported the other during such times and for that I admire them. For you see, being “twins” means they are best friends and I admire them for that and the “love” they have for each other.
I would like to think that Jenny would support me in my nomination and that the 2011 Inspire Award would be a worthy acknowledgement of Nicola’s and Lisa’s part in making Pacific Dragons what is today (and in the future), but also for helping me find meaning and direction in my life.
Friday, October 4, 2013
Why Why? - Chantel Tattoli

Expanding on an earlier post (*), Chantel Tattoli (*) writes on the importantance of understanding (*) Why:
Why? Why would someone do that?via The Anthropology of the Little Mermaid (*) by Chantel Tattoli (*).
Why is the slippery question cultural anthropologists are always trying to get at.
As a rule of thumb, if we do not get why, we probably don’t understand (*) the perspective (*).
The thing to do is try to see yourself in the other peoples’ shoes, because from the perspective of the Other’s shoes, their behavior should make more sense.
This is the golden rule. Even when it’s hard.
I paraphrase the late anthropologist Clifford Geertz To understand, isn’t to forgive (*).
Thanks Chantel, some great thoughts in your words.
If you look, really look, you will always find something you weren't expecting. Even if you can't figure why, you might just be a bit more understanding.

Friday, March 18, 2011
Rabbit Hole - Sydney Morning Herald - Spectrum (Sat 19 Feb 2011)

Gained a couple of insights from watching this movie and then having a look around the web where I found a couple of good reviews written by Grief Counsellors:
- Unbearable Grief in Rabbit Hole (2010) by Joseph Burgo, and
- A Grief Therapist’s Film Perspective: The Rabbit Hole by Beth S. Patterson
Change is part of the grief process too.Had kind of worked this out for myself (i.e. in order to move forward, you need to adapt, otherwise you can get stuck) and was actually going to write about it to mark the 2nd anniversary of this little Blog, which passed quietly while I was in Auckland for the Takapuna Cup. In the end I did not get around to posting (happens a lot - only a fraction of what I would like to post makes it here - have started so many posts that never quite get finished).
Grief changes us.
We are never the same after a major loss.
In fact, part of the process of grief is to find one’s “new normal.”
Conversely, as we change, our grief changes.
As Leah’s mother eloquently describes it, grief is like a brick in one’s pocket – we always feel it, but over time it feels less heavy. After some time, we can actually forget that it’s there sometimes, but memories come back, and we feel the brick again.
Anyway, what I had thought I would write about for that unwritten 2nd Anniversay Post was how my life (and is some ways my identity) had changed since that first post on the Wed 25 Feb 2009 and how I thought the blog might give some indication to what I am passionate about, who I was , the transition to who I have become and where I am heading, at least in the short-term.
I have enjoyed the Blogging. It has given me a creative outlet and has kept my mind stimulated. It is fun to look over what I have written. Like a photograph, I can remember the feelings and the reasons why I might have written the post.
Finally, as Ken Burns said at the 2004 Commencement Yale Class Day Speech (as pdf):
Write: write letters. Keep journals. Besides your children, there is no surer way of achieving immortality. Remember, too, there is nothing more incredible than being a witness to history.Keep on Blogging.
Regards .. Geoff
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Emotional Preparation For The Olympic Games by Cal Botterill
Emotional Preparation For The Olympic Games by Cal Botterill
A great article and one worth reading. Here are some random points ..

PD's Mixed Team Pre-race Team Huddle - 2011 Nationals - Canberra (Fri 01 Apr 2011)

Willy and George - Pre-race Preparation/Rituals - Senior A Mixed 500m Final - Racice /Prague (Sat 29 Aug 2009)

Some Down Time - Chinese New Year - Darling Harbour / Sydney (Sat 06 Feb 2009)

Turning it on - World Club Crews - Penang / Malaysia (Sat 02 Aug 2008)
A great article and one worth reading. Here are some random points ..
Being clear minded should be an important objective going into the Games [Championships]. Once again though, it is critical to feel focused and occupied and to avoid falling into the human tendency to start overanalyzing. It has been suggested that "nothing never happens"; in the absence of a constructive focus our minds sometimes start "over-thinking" or "over-perceiving."He concludes with the following:
- Enjoy the emotional spectrum that is part of life.
- Accept and experience feelings, let them go, and channel the energy into growth and effective responses.
- Respect the power and positive and negative significance of emotions on your system.
- Manage relationships and time so that you do not become emotionally drained at key times in your life, especially when working hard physically and mentally.
- Let go of irrational beliefs and perspectives.
- Reaffirm your mission, values, and perspective.
- Live. Never have to say, "I wish I would have ..."
An athlete should be confident in mental skills going into the Games [Championships]. Responses to stress and boredom should automatically be constructive, and time and relationship skills should be crisp and effective. Creative simulations, quality training sessions, and lead-up competitions can help ensure the rust is off attention and competitive skills during the countdown.
I would say to each of our Olympic athletes: Walk away knowing you gave it your best shot and exulted in the opportunity to test yourself in one of the most prestigious and emotional environments in the world. Accept that you can never totally control your emotions that is part of the challenge of being human. With emotional preparation, practice, and management we can often come closer to our situational potential.Definitely worth a read. Take from it what you can for your own mental preparation.
Compete with passion, perspective, and preparation and be all you can be as you pursue your Olympic destiny. I wish you physical prowess, a clear mind, and an unburdened heart. Citius, Altius, Fortius! [The Olympic Motto]




Sunday, February 5, 2017
Perspective - Drew GInn / Rapha (Sat 04 Feb 2017)
Drew Ginn on Perspective:
We are far more capable than we realise.via Perspectives by Rapha by Rapha.
Perspectives from RAPHA on Vimeo.
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
2010 Ord River Marathon - The Pilgrimage
Joanne and I paddled the 2010 Ord River Marathon on Sun 13 Jun 2010. Michelle asked me to write a little story about our experience, and it was published today in the Dragons Abreast Australia July 2010 Issue of In the Loop (pdf). Here it is ..

The Pilgrimage - In the Loop - July 2010 - Page 1 (read/picasa)
The above photo of Jenny is from our May 2001 Trip down the Ord River on the "Triple J" Tour Boat.
Also, in the same issue of In the Loop, a great story from the Mackay Paddlers of their 2010 Ord River Marathon experience ..

Another Perspective - In the Loop - July 2010 - Page 2 (read/picasa)

The above photo of Jenny is from our May 2001 Trip down the Ord River on the "Triple J" Tour Boat.
Also, in the same issue of In the Loop, a great story from the Mackay Paddlers of their 2010 Ord River Marathon experience ..

Friday, November 19, 2010
Annie Leibovitz - Sydney Morning Herald (Nov 2010)
The Annie Leibovitz exhibition Annie Leibovitz: A Photographer’s Life 1990–2005 has just opened at Sydney's Museum of Contemporary Art. Here are three articles that have featured in the Sydney Morning Herald over the last two weeks.

Annie Leibovitz - Spectrum (Cover) / Sydney Morning Herald - 06 Nov 2010

A life in Photography by Robert McFarlane - Spectrum (Page 6) / Sydney Morning Herald - Sat 06 Nov 2010

A life in Photography by Robert McFarlane - Spectrum (Page 7) / Sydney Morning Herald - Sat 06 Nov 2010

Life and death, put into perspective by Joyce Morgan - Sydney Morning Herald - Wed 17 Nov 2010 (Article)

Annie Leibovitz - The Diary - Sydney Morning Herald - 19 Nov 2010
Also see Beyond the flashing bulbs of fame by Andrew Taylor (Sun 14 Nov 2010) ..
Leibovitz's disdain for celebrity is reflected in "Annie Leibovitz: A Photographer's Life 1990-2005", which opens at the Museum of Contemporary Art on Friday.
Just a third of the exhibition features the high-profile names that have turned Leibovitz into a celebrity. There are more images of family and friends and 40 photos include documentary shots of lives ruined by war in the former Yugoslavia and Rwanda.
MCA's director Liz Ann Macgregor said these were her favourite works: "Two of these unforgettable images achieve their strength by showing what is not there – in the absence of victims, we see only the aftermath of war and the bloodshed left behind."
In contrast, Leibovitz said the intimate shots of her parents on the beach and brother and father posing bare-chested, arms crossed, were her "most important work".
"It tells the best story, and I care about it. You don't get the opportunity to do this kind of work except with people who you love: people who will put up with you."
I have enjoyed seeing the personal side of Leibovitz's work and will definitely go to the exhibition.
Have a copy of Susan Sontag's (Leibovitz's Lover) Monograph On Photography which I bought in Canberra in 2002. It seemed an odd relationship because of Sontag's views on photography. I could empathise with their situation with Sontag's journey with Breast Cancer and I remember following the news of Sontag's final weeks and then reading Sontag's New York Times Obituary.
Like all professional photographers, there is definitely a private side to Leibovitz's Photography and I am sure most photographers like myself want to see the private side.
I look forward to viewing the exhibition. I saw the exhibition's book a few years ago. What I really look forward to, though, is the Landscape Photograph work which will feature in future book titled Pilgrimage.





Also see Beyond the flashing bulbs of fame by Andrew Taylor (Sun 14 Nov 2010) ..
Leibovitz's disdain for celebrity is reflected in "Annie Leibovitz: A Photographer's Life 1990-2005", which opens at the Museum of Contemporary Art on Friday.
Just a third of the exhibition features the high-profile names that have turned Leibovitz into a celebrity. There are more images of family and friends and 40 photos include documentary shots of lives ruined by war in the former Yugoslavia and Rwanda.
MCA's director Liz Ann Macgregor said these were her favourite works: "Two of these unforgettable images achieve their strength by showing what is not there – in the absence of victims, we see only the aftermath of war and the bloodshed left behind."
In contrast, Leibovitz said the intimate shots of her parents on the beach and brother and father posing bare-chested, arms crossed, were her "most important work".
"It tells the best story, and I care about it. You don't get the opportunity to do this kind of work except with people who you love: people who will put up with you."
I have enjoyed seeing the personal side of Leibovitz's work and will definitely go to the exhibition.
Have a copy of Susan Sontag's (Leibovitz's Lover) Monograph On Photography which I bought in Canberra in 2002. It seemed an odd relationship because of Sontag's views on photography. I could empathise with their situation with Sontag's journey with Breast Cancer and I remember following the news of Sontag's final weeks and then reading Sontag's New York Times Obituary.
Like all professional photographers, there is definitely a private side to Leibovitz's Photography and I am sure most photographers like myself want to see the private side.
I look forward to viewing the exhibition. I saw the exhibition's book a few years ago. What I really look forward to, though, is the Landscape Photograph work which will feature in future book titled Pilgrimage.
Saturday, September 4, 2010
One Stroke by Drew Ginn (29 Apr 2008)

One Stroke by Drew Ginn (29 Apr 2008):
[..] So what is it to be engaged fully in that one stroke?
After the fact it is difficult to isolate the experience of one stroke from the others. It is challenging to gain clarity on exactly one stroke because it happens in a flow of many more. [..] the dilemma is not just identifying the one, but ensuring it is pure and uncontaminated by the past one’s and future one’s.
The joy of performing the one stroke and immersing in it is challenged by the accumulated nature of the cyclic or repeated experiences. [..]
[W]hat is it to be fully engaged in one stroke[?] Knife-edge comes to mind. [..] the sense of being on a knife-edge is a great description. Less so from the perspective of balance or even match up, it has an essence that finds a cord within that is about effort, ease, maintenance and fatigue.
In fact to see it clearer I notice that the one, perfect one that I see is one of edgy contrast.
It is in a position of precarious, pointedness with a subtle oscillation between more than one element and more then one stroke including the past, present and future.
The elements involve self, team-mates, equipment, water, movement, harmony, mismatch, load, flow, hardness, relaxation, sequences, positions, focuses, emphasis, location, energy, strain, surge, comparison, connection, separation, isolation, effort, ease, understanding, knowledge, risk, exposure, confidence, doubt, poise, purpose, clarity, mistakes, errors, forgiveness, acceptance, love, joy, fear, ambiguity, tension, dynamics, leverage, struggle, difference, compliments, coaching, thoughts, distractions, intentions, actions, results, exchange, change, habits, confusion, satisfaction, uncertainty [..]
One stroke is so hard to describe, I know it when I feel it and some times I know it when I see it. Maybe the one is not perfect but we make it so because we like the idea of it being better than it really was.
The experience of rowing fascinates me because it has so many things it relates too. What I do know is that when I am engaged things change. The world looks and feels different and it gives me hope. Giving in to it, but not letting it get the better of you is critical. That may sound strange but there is something about being part of the boat, the movement, the other person, and the surroundings that makes so much sense of everything. [..]
Accessing the moment is not just about rowing, but I find it palatable to articular the action of rowing in a way that means something. One stroke at a time is a cliché and like one shot at a time it has meaning if you connect with it in some way. [..]
One stroke then is like every other stroke and they in turn they are like the days of life we live. It is just an experience how I choose to judge it or them is my choice. Years ago I watch a video the Searle Brothers made about their 1992 Olympic Games success in the coxed pair. In the video Greg spoke of a simple activity they did which involved calling out better or worse as a measure for each stroke they rowed. The idea I guess was to have more, better strokes and as such you develop accountability and improvement.
One stroke means different things and the reasons are varied. What enables full engagement in one stroke or in the moment is also varied. [..] One stroke unfolds and expands. Its meaning is huge and the vastness of experience is inspiring. Being at one in one is the art to rowing I suppose which really isn’t anything new, but repeated. So you see, like me, a cliché can mean so much which it does. [..]
Another Favourite Blog Post from Drew Ginn. A truly amazing description of rowing[/paddling] and as is usual with Drew's writings I can relate to in many ways.
I always find the strokes from the start to transition are the easiest to remember. Darren calls them the "glory strokes" and in many ways they set the boat up for the rest of the effort. Get it right and you are on the way. Get it wrong and you are on the back foot trying to recover. Can also remember some lift calls in various efforts over the years.
Love the description of 'Knife-Edge' and 'Edgy Contrast'. I often feel that when the effort is such that things seem to be edgy, that is where we need to be. Always wary of that that perfect feeling.
Monday, October 20, 2014
On Subtitles - Salamander / Annabel Ross (Mon 20 Oct 2014)

Annabel Ross (*) writes on Subtitles (*):
Watching drama with subtitles shifts the perspective to take in more than can be fully understood. Once into the rhythm of this complex narrative, the sensation is truly that of entering another world.via The Guide (*) by Annabel Ross (*).
The only TV Drama I seem to watch now is subtitled and mostly from a DVD. Recent favourites include The Bridge (*), The Tunnel (*), Borgen (*), The Killing (*) and now Salamander (*). I think it is partly because of the drama, but it is also because of the subtitles as Annabel so nice describes. Seeing the words helps me remember more than I would if I just hear it.
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Sunday, December 21, 2014
On Strength - Vernon Gambetta (Fri 19 Dec 2014)

Vernon Gambetta (*) asks a question on Strength (*):
How much strength is enough?via Evolution of Strength Training – A Personal Perspective - 51 Years of Experiences (Part Three) (*) by Vernon Gambetta (*).
Friday, April 13, 2012
On "showing up every day" by Patrick McHugh (Fri 13 Apr 2012)
Have missed posting a daily (at least) photo here - have realised it gives me a little goal and keeps my mind active.
Decided to come back sooner than I thought. The following quote from this post (*) today from Patrick McHugh (*) gave me some perspective:
showing up every day. You would think that would be easy, but it is not. We all have bad days. We all want a break on those bad days. But what I have found is not showing up on those bad days often leads to a habit of giving ourselves a break on the sort of bad days or even the mediocre days. So, on the bad days, the important thing is to show up.So my little goal from here is to try and show up each day, no matter how I feel.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Coaches & Coaching: The Art Form - Drew Ginn (Tue 24 Jun 2008)
Another Favourite Blog Post by Drew Ginn. This time about coaches and coaching titled Coaches & Coaching: The Art Form (Tue 24 Jun 2008) ..
[..] From directing, to coaching, to supporting and delegating. It's important to understand that coaches need to be adaptable and flexible in the style to best suit the athlete and the situation.
From what I have been exposed to over the years I have had coaches who have all been different and at certain times they have suited my needs and other time they have not quiet matched up to what I have needed. This has also played out in relation to the situation also.
Recently our coach, Chris worked on being more directed and coaching in his style. After we got back into things it was required that he shift his focus to suit our situation. It was a different energy and help us greatly in getting the ball rolling again. We have been good at working with him in a more supportive and delegating way which relates to our experience and willingness to be involve and responsible for our preparation and performance.
Years ago with the four, Noel Donaldson was great at managing the group and as such operated well in a supportive capacity. This did not mean at times he didn't shift into directing the group and coaching but it was often a quick switch and very effective in getting a response.
Now when I think of my development years at times I need a good kick up the ass. And well I had a few good coaches that did it perfectly. My only concern with this style of directing is that at some point the emphasis needs to shift and if it doesn't then problems and or confusion can grow.
In Australia right now we have a large variety of coaches with such a range of experiences and history in the sport. I am sure there is a different level of ambition and ego too. Surely they are no different to the athletes in one sense. They want to be the best they can be. They want to be the best. They I would have thought would want what is best for their athletes. Some times these two things can be in conflict which to me is the coaching dilemma.
This [leads] me to consider what it can be like in a crew also. In fact it goes to the heart of teamwork and why it can be so challenging to get it right. In a boat you want to do the best you can. You also want the team to do it best. You want everyone one to do there best. The dilemma then is what is the priority then? What are you measure by? What drives what and what can bring it all undone? These question like the coaches dilemma are very important in understanding why some times things work and other times they don't.
At this level everyone has ability and everyone has performed in a way to get to where they are. There fine line between wanting something for your self and wanting something for others is a fickle and often precarious position. You need to be motivated to be the best, but this need has to stay in check with relation to the motivation for the collective effort.
I mention all this because coaching like rowing is about balancing the influences, expectations and needs of all involved. Although the coaching view of things is some what objective if this is all that is focused on then the nature of the art form is lost in the numbers. The subtlety of shifting and adapting is needed with out being reactionary. A coaches view is often more comprehensive. They have to take in more information about performance on and off the water. This is the challenge and to honor all perspective is critical.
Coaches like athlete need to be masters of their art form to have longevity. When I say master I refer to the ability to stay even in their presence and maintain consistency while subtly shifting focus based on what the situation requires.
As an athlete I know I need a coach. I enjoy having a person who I can work with to enable the best outcome. I have been fortunate to have what I would say as some of the great coached from our sport. Noel and Chris have been a major factor in me getting this far and assisting in helping me to not only be a better athlete but better person.
This I am sure is not unique to me, I am sure many athletes have and will continue to feel this way about their coaches.
Lots to think about in this one.
[..] From directing, to coaching, to supporting and delegating. It's important to understand that coaches need to be adaptable and flexible in the style to best suit the athlete and the situation.
From what I have been exposed to over the years I have had coaches who have all been different and at certain times they have suited my needs and other time they have not quiet matched up to what I have needed. This has also played out in relation to the situation also.
Recently our coach, Chris worked on being more directed and coaching in his style. After we got back into things it was required that he shift his focus to suit our situation. It was a different energy and help us greatly in getting the ball rolling again. We have been good at working with him in a more supportive and delegating way which relates to our experience and willingness to be involve and responsible for our preparation and performance.
Years ago with the four, Noel Donaldson was great at managing the group and as such operated well in a supportive capacity. This did not mean at times he didn't shift into directing the group and coaching but it was often a quick switch and very effective in getting a response.
Now when I think of my development years at times I need a good kick up the ass. And well I had a few good coaches that did it perfectly. My only concern with this style of directing is that at some point the emphasis needs to shift and if it doesn't then problems and or confusion can grow.
In Australia right now we have a large variety of coaches with such a range of experiences and history in the sport. I am sure there is a different level of ambition and ego too. Surely they are no different to the athletes in one sense. They want to be the best they can be. They want to be the best. They I would have thought would want what is best for their athletes. Some times these two things can be in conflict which to me is the coaching dilemma.
This [leads] me to consider what it can be like in a crew also. In fact it goes to the heart of teamwork and why it can be so challenging to get it right. In a boat you want to do the best you can. You also want the team to do it best. You want everyone one to do there best. The dilemma then is what is the priority then? What are you measure by? What drives what and what can bring it all undone? These question like the coaches dilemma are very important in understanding why some times things work and other times they don't.
At this level everyone has ability and everyone has performed in a way to get to where they are. There fine line between wanting something for your self and wanting something for others is a fickle and often precarious position. You need to be motivated to be the best, but this need has to stay in check with relation to the motivation for the collective effort.
I mention all this because coaching like rowing is about balancing the influences, expectations and needs of all involved. Although the coaching view of things is some what objective if this is all that is focused on then the nature of the art form is lost in the numbers. The subtlety of shifting and adapting is needed with out being reactionary. A coaches view is often more comprehensive. They have to take in more information about performance on and off the water. This is the challenge and to honor all perspective is critical.
Coaches like athlete need to be masters of their art form to have longevity. When I say master I refer to the ability to stay even in their presence and maintain consistency while subtly shifting focus based on what the situation requires.
As an athlete I know I need a coach. I enjoy having a person who I can work with to enable the best outcome. I have been fortunate to have what I would say as some of the great coached from our sport. Noel and Chris have been a major factor in me getting this far and assisting in helping me to not only be a better athlete but better person.
This I am sure is not unique to me, I am sure many athletes have and will continue to feel this way about their coaches.
Lots to think about in this one.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Minutes to Midnight - Trent Parke
A great insight into this body of work which will be published as a book in mid-August..
It depends on where you come from and what you've been influenced when growing up, the reaction you will have to specific imagery [..] it just depends on what has happened in your life to bring what you bring to these images, what that conjour up and what they mean to a specific person. [..]
It's important that people react to the images from their own perspective from where they have come in life.
Friday, July 25, 2014
On Photography - Danielle Hark / Ellen J. Langer / Aimee Lee Ball (Thu 24 Jul 2014)

Danielle Hark: (*) writes On Photography (*):
For me, it’s the act of shooting that helps, [..] It doesn’t matter how the photos come out. It’s a mindfulness (*) process that brings me into my body. I’m not worrying about the past (*) or the future (*), just looking through the lens. Some people analyze their photos and use them to explore their lives. There are a lot of possibilities that are therapeutic.With Ellen J. Langer (*) abstracting:
Noticing things in the camera (*) puts you in the present (*) moment, makes you sensitive to context and perspective (*), and that’s the essence of engagement (*). I have years of research telling us how good that is for health and well-being.via Photography as a Balm for Mental Illness (*) by Aimee Lee Ball via (*) Photographs on the Brain (*).
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Sun 18 Aug 2013
Saturday, December 29, 2012
On Effortlessness - Neil Finn / Spectrum (Sat 29 Dec 2012)
Neil Finn (*) reveals the truth On Effortlessness (*):
When something looks effortless, like it always existed, like it rolled out of you like a river, then you have done a good job.via Culture: Neil Finn - On writing music for The Hobbit. (*) by Tim Elliott (*).
But what makes that up is painful small, incremental steps, craft, skulduggery, anything that gets you over the line.
I know exactly what he means. All my life I have been told that I made this or that look effortless - it's actually happened a few times in the last week. Always taken it as a compliment, though sometimes I wish I could have shown how much goes on behind the scenes - to show how much I was trying.
Thanks Neil and Tim for giving some perspective and clarity on the issue of effortlessness.
A great quote and a fantastic little snippet for my 1201st post. Will keep them coming. It might look effortless to post these little pieces of wisdom (*) here, but just as Tim says, there is a lot going on to make it happen (BTW, I don't try too hard to find subject matter, it just seems to find me). I have a lot of fun doing it and it is worth the effort[lessness] (*).
Labels:
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Szeged 2013
Saturday, August 3, 2013
The Pacific Dragons 2013 Inspire Award in the Memory of Jenny Petterson - Glebe/Sydney and Dubrovnik/Croatia (Sat 03 Aug 2013)



First, a thank you..
Here we are in Dubrovnik.
Croatia, is just beautiful and the highlight has been a small courtyard in the small Fortress of the 16th Century Croatian Poet, Petar Hektorovic, in the tiny town of Stari Grad on the Island of Hvar, two hours by Ferry out of Split. Jo and I spread some of Jenny's ashes there and it was one of the most peaceful places (*) I have experienced and his words (*) seem quite relevant and profound.
We feel privileged and lucky to have the ability to make and have these experiences.
Caitlin, Lisa, Jo, Kaizer and myself have just competed at the 11th World DB Champs with the 2013 Australian Auroras Squad. It was a great event and we have some amazing memories.
The Hungarians have shown the world how to host a modern World Dragon Boat Championships, which have become carnival like because of their size.
It was also great to paddle on a course so rich in paddling history.
The highlight of the championships for me was watching Jo, carry the Australian Flag and leading the whole Australian Squad at the Opening Ceremony.
Joanne, Jenny would be so proud of you as we all are. A tribute (*) to Joanne and those those have supported her in paddling and life will follow the presentation.
On behalf of Caitlin, Lisa, Jo, Kaizer and myself, we thank you all for supporting us in paddling and life. Pacific Dragons provides the home and base which nurtures us as paddlers and people.
A little about Jenny now ..
Jenny said to me towards the end, when the destination of her disease became more real, that she would miss the travel adventures with us - no doubt in travels and in life.
It is just over 4 years ago that she said those words and it would be a few short months later she left this world.
She did not feel sorry for herself in saying those words. She always had a strong sense of reality about her life, her cancer and her purpose in life.
This was one of the inspiring traits I would take from her and one we can all take from her as we face the uncertainties which will become the certainties of our lives.
When she did die, I had already decided that I should live on in her "Afterglow". This was much easier to say than do and for a long time I thought my life purpose had been served and honoured.
Those early days were the hardest of my life and it would take a long time to find my confidence, to start living my life again. That there was a purpose. All I could really do was paddle. In some ways, it was during those days I found myself.
Jenny loved travel, a globe and atlas and it was no surprise that geography was her favourite class. Had she been born in earlier times, she would have a been great explorer - and without doubt, Captain Petterson, as I would call her, would have been an important name in our history books and classes, along with Columbus and Cook.
So, whenever we decided to travel, she was also the navigator, along with Jo, of course. With a sheet of paper and pen in hand, they would thumb through the atlas and rotate the globe charting our path and planning our itinerary.
Croatia was Jenny's choice for our Europe 2009 trip following the World DB Champs in Prague. However, she would not make it here, passing away 9 weeks before the Worlds.
We did not travel to Croatia in 2009. In the haze of grief and bereavement, I can't remember why now.
So for this 2013 Hungary Campaign, we decided that Croatia would be our first stop, in order to honour Jenny's wishes.
As it is with everything now, I feel a sense of guilt that I am alive and experiencing life and Jenny is not. That I am experiencing this trip, Szeged and in particular the Croatian coast and our current port Dubrovnik.
However, these feelings of guilt are balanced with the thought that she inspires us to continue our lives to the full, including creating these experiences. It is what she would want us to do.
Maybe in some ways I feel that when we meet again, I can tell her all the great things we have done.
So while there are feelings of guilt, I balance them with those of inspiration, intention, innocence, naviety and awe. In this way, a perspective on life can be found and along with a sense of empathy, it can give your life a solid foundation even during the toughest moments.
I talk about this because I have come to realise that others have or will have these moments and this is just one way, my way at least, to respond. This is life.
So to the 2013 Inspire Award ..
A common word used in all the presentations over years is the word "Belief". It seems to pop up all the time.
Last year I spoke a little about belief, in the sense that inspiring people seem to have a belief in themselves - we call it self-belief.
So I started to think about where does self belief come from?
I would find an answer a month after, via a blog post by Spencer Lum, a New York based wedding photographer, of all people. His words made it crystal clear to me. He wrote:
[..] if you’re willing to take a gamble, I’ll bet on you. If you’re willing to put it out there, if you’re willing to fail, if you’re willing to let go of it all, thumb your nose at the world, and do it your way, I’ll believe in you. [..]"I’ll believe in you." Spencer wrote. There it was. The answer was so simple - self belief first comes from others who believe in you.
Often it takes some time to have the confidence to believe in one self. Initially, more often than not, the belief comes from others. Those who support and love you for who you are.
It is only with time, experience and the support of those others who believe in you, that you can find your own self belief and you start say things to yourself like
- yes, I can do that,
- you start finding reasons why you can, rather than you can't, and
- when you question yourself with "why?", you are able to say "well ,why not!"
As time goes by, you become stronger, more independent and not afraid to give things a go, even if it means making mistakes and / or failing. You know that the risk is worth the reward of at least trying, whatever the outcome.
So what does this have to do with the 2013 Inspire Award?
The recipient of this award realised her own self-belief this year, initially through the support of her coaches and those that have paddled with her since joining the club.
Something happened this year for her. She had been making changes and steady improvements over the years, but she realised she needed to start believing in herself. It was a natural progression.
I was lucky enough to sit next her one week night dragon boat training session going into CNY. She trained strongly and between sets we chatted briefly. She told me that she needed to start believing in herself and that she was almost there. I was impressed. This is the stuff I had been thinking about.
The next weekend she made this very visible to her coaches, paddling buddies and most importantly, herself, by performing a stunning 4km OC1 time trial out of Dobroyd Point. This was the turning point, the starting point to self belief.
It was fantastic to witness that very moment.
I have seen it time and time again in our club. Coaches and others believing, paddlers changing and then suddenly something remarkable happens. They start believing in themselves. It is the great thing about our club and it is what I love about PDs.
So the 5th and 2013 recipient of the Inspire Award in the Memory of Jenny Petterson is Cath Gale.
A big congratulations to you Cath from Jo and myself. You are an inspiration.
Have a great night all. We will be thinking of you all and we look forward to getting back into it all on our return in late August.


Tuesday, March 2, 2010
The Lucky Ones
This is a work in progress. It has been in my head for a long time now, but it has been hard to write. Hopefully, it will make sense. I expect to modify it a bit over the next few weeks, but at least it is a start.
A few months before Jenny died, I read Lance Armstrong's book entitled "Its not about the bike". Jenny had been given a copy by a long time friend, Mena, not long after the book was first published here in Australia (sometime around 2002/3 I am guessing). She read the book quickly and I know she got a lot from the pages. For some reason I did not read the book until early May 2009.

Geoff, Jenny, Mena, Steve and Joanne - Natation DB Titles - Kawana / Qld - Sat 25 Apr 2009 (picasa)
I bought my own copy so that I could read the book that meant so much to Jenny. I think I was motivated by the fact the Jenny was progressing to the final stages of her Cancer (at least that is reluctantly what I quietly started to think - she had just been diagnosed with multiple tumors in her liver on the 11 Mar 2009 - not a very promising situation). I thought I might find something in the pages to understand her and our situation.
I read the book, intermittently over a few weeks, at my local coffee shop before work and on the train to work. There was lots of the book that resonated with me, particularly his encounters with cancer. One part in particular struck a chord with me. It was about a half through, where he writes about what he felt during chemotherapy following neurosurgery to remove a beign brain tumor.
What is stronger, fear or hope? It's an interesting question, and perhaps even an important one. Initially, I was very fearful and without much hope, but as I sat there and absorbed the full extent of my illness, I refused to let the fear completely blot out my optimism. Something told me that fear should never fully rule the heart, and I decided not to be afraid.
I wanted to live, but whether I would or not was a mystery, and in the midst of confronting that fact, even at that moment, I was beginning to sense that to stare into the heart of such a fearful mystery wasn't a bad thing. To be afraid is a priceless education. Once you have been that scared, you know more about your frailty than most people, and I think that changes a man. I was brought low, and there was nothing to take refuge in but the philosophical: this disease would force me to ask more of myself as person than I ever had before, and to seek out a different ethic.
A couple of days earlier, I had received an e-mail from a military guy stationed in Asia. He was a fellow cancer patient, and he wanted to tell me something.
"You don't know it yet," he wrote, "but we're the lucky ones."
I'd said aloud, "This guy's a nut."
What on earth could he mean?
When I read this, I stored it away in my mind, eagerly awaiting Lance's own answer to this question - lucky .. What on earth could he mean?. It would come quietly on the last page of the book.
"You don't know it yet, but we're the lucky ones," my fellow cancer patient had written.
I will always carry the lesson of cancer with me, and feel that I'm a member of the cancer community. I believe I have an obligation to make something better out of my life than before, and to help my fellow human beings who are dealing with the disease. It's a community of shared experience. Anyone who has heard the words You have cancer and thought, "Oh, my God, I'm going to die," is a member of it. If you've ever belonged, you never leave.
Jenny had often indicated that she felt lucky (I think in both aspects - that of surviving an aggressive cancer and oddly enough, having had had cancer). She said this in the Australian Story Episode, "In the Pink":
'I don't understand how things work out, and why things work out the way they do. I feel like I've been lucky. I don't understand how cancer works, I don't know why I've been blessed the way I have been.'

Jenny - Australian Story - "In the Pink - Kirrawee - May 2004 (picasa)
and in her Talks:
'I feel I am so lucky and have a wonderful life. I have had some great opportunities through breast cancer to meet some very inspiring people. Geoff and Jo have been a constant source of support for me. Breast cancer has totally changed my life but for the best.'

Relay for Life 2007 - Jenny - Survivor Representative - Sylvania Waters - Sat 28 Apr 2007 (picasa)

The Rainbow Connection - Phil, John, Marj, Jenny, Liz, Noel - Phil passed away shortly after this photo was taken - he often spoke to Jenny about how luck seemed to play a big part in how things worked out, but sometimes you make you own luck - Rely for Life 2003 - Sylvania Waters - Sat 31 May 2003 - (picasa)
As Jenny's International Dragon Boating Career started, she came to the attention of the Media and in the first Newspaper Article she featured in, she was even compared to Lance Armstrong:
Don Iverson, Director of the Health and Productivity Research Center at the University of Wollongong, said that Ms Petterson could be compared to Lance Armstrong, who won the Tour de France after fighting testicular cancer.
'It's almost superhuman,' he said.

Cancer wont slow rowing champion - Sydney Sun Herald - 2 May 2004
She was a little embarrassed by the comparison, but Jo and I were very proud of Jenny and her achievements in her treatment, her sport and her life as breast cancer survivor.

Geoff, Jenny, Grace, Lynn, Betty, Thomas, Grant, Joanne and David - Relay for Life 2007 - Jenny - Survivor Representative - Sylvania Waters - Sat 28 Apr 2007 (picasa)
After Jenny's passing, I had an encounter in the Intensive Care Unit where Jenny left us. Joanne and I had gone back to thank the staff at the St George Hospital and to pickup some scans that had been lost in Jenny's move from the Level 1 to ICU. We spoke to the head ICU nurses (they were between shifts) and we knew both of them from Jenny's time in ICU (and I was well known to them as I had fainted in ICU on Jenny's second day in ICU after the neurosurgery). We talked a little and I mentioned that Jenny did consider herself lucky to have had cancer - as she said herself - it had changed her life for the better. One the nurses questioned this statement and she made me feel a little uneasy for saying what I had said. She could not believe anyone with cancer could consider themselves lucky. Maybe, she had seen too much of the cold harsh reality of cancer in that ICU. Maybe she was right. It did not seem too lucky now that Jenny was gone?
This conversation stuck in my mind for a long time, and I started to question many things. It was not until I came across the following blog post by Doug Miller that I found some peace. Here was a man who had recently been diagnosed with Cancer. He was articulate and in many ways his post offers so much more than Lance's writings on Cancer and Luck. This is probably the most moving piece of writing I have read in my life. I don't have cancer, but I have lived a shared life with it and it's consequences. I can truly emphasise. Here it is. My heart is with you Doug ..

Doug Miller - Colorado Trail San Juan Mountains - 1994 - A Single Path - (blog)
The Lucky Ones by Doug Miller (Wed 23 Sep 2009)
[..] a friend [..] pointed me to Lance Armstrong's book entitled "Its not about the bike" I picked up a copy and quickly read through it. I liked it.
It had a bit much detail focusing on cycling, but that was an aspect of the man that could obviously not be separated from the larger reality of his battle with cancer.
There were portions though that left my mind spinning. Armstrong's description of his diagnosis and the roller coaster of emotions that ensued was painfully raw and hit the mark with a clarity and similarity I could not deny. I myself am walking those darkened and fearful paths as I write these very words.
Out of all the pages a couple simple statements that he made resonated with me in a powerful way.
Armstrong tells of a letter that he received. It was from a man he had never met before. He himself had battled cancer. He wrote Armstrong to acknowledge his support and positive thoughts. As he finished the letter he made a strange statement that confused Armstrong. He wrote, "you probably do not understand this right now, but we are the lucky ones".
What? How is anyone with cancer lucky? It is devastating. It not only has the potential to steal your life, but also has the destructive potential to steal your Hope. Those words are haunting. Lucky? We are the lucky ones. This brotherhood of suffering is somehow lucky..........blessed?
It is diametrically opposed to any sort of sane thinking that those outside of this brotherhood would agree with. It actually is an almost dangerous statement. As if you say it as you are waking off a cliff without a safety net. A statement such as that redefines everything. Life. Death. And even Hope.
But as I walk this path, and simultaneously encounter life in all its beauty and harshness, I find myself agreeing. "We are the lucky ones". I am lucky. I say those words with a part of me screaming, "how dare you, how can you say that". But it is true. The perspective that cancer gives to life is unbelievable. It has the power to refine you. Your thoughts. Your direction. Your focus.
It is as if you look at life for the first time. Everything is different. Nothing is the same. Everything is turned on edge, revealing a freshness and an urgency that is not seen outside of cancer. If this clarity does exist in our normal lives, it is missed. Overshadowed by the busyness of life. By worthless and empty pursuits.
Another quote from Armstrong's book was this: "Cancer is not about dying, it is about living" What a statement.
Most would argue against it. But those that walk this path find it to be true. Life after diagnosis becomes "alive". It becomes real. It is as if you can grasp it with your own hands, breath it in, consume it.
Oh if I could have had this view earlier in life. I knew that it existed. I sensed it. I chased it. Through the mountains. Through relationships. In the woods and fields of my youth. It was a whisper in the words of poets. And a reflection on the horizon as the sun slipped out of view. But i did not catch it until cancer became my reference. My reality.
We who are members of this brotherhood and sisterhood of suffering are the lucky ones, because now we can truly live. And Love. And Hope. And I dare to say Dream. They are painful dreams, haunted with the shadows of uncertainty, but they are vivid dreams. Passionate dreams. Dreams that leave your heart aching, your soul longing. We are released from the fear of death. Our finite lives are bared.
We come face to face with our mortality and realize that life is looking back at us. Raw and uncertain. But ALIVE none the less. There were days before cancer that I despaired. At times despising my life. But now I am hungry to live. I long to live. Whether that time be long or short, I hold tight to life and all of its glorious agony.
Posted by Doug Miller at 9:11 PM
A few months before Jenny died, I read Lance Armstrong's book entitled "Its not about the bike". Jenny had been given a copy by a long time friend, Mena, not long after the book was first published here in Australia (sometime around 2002/3 I am guessing). She read the book quickly and I know she got a lot from the pages. For some reason I did not read the book until early May 2009.
I bought my own copy so that I could read the book that meant so much to Jenny. I think I was motivated by the fact the Jenny was progressing to the final stages of her Cancer (at least that is reluctantly what I quietly started to think - she had just been diagnosed with multiple tumors in her liver on the 11 Mar 2009 - not a very promising situation). I thought I might find something in the pages to understand her and our situation.
I read the book, intermittently over a few weeks, at my local coffee shop before work and on the train to work. There was lots of the book that resonated with me, particularly his encounters with cancer. One part in particular struck a chord with me. It was about a half through, where he writes about what he felt during chemotherapy following neurosurgery to remove a beign brain tumor.
What is stronger, fear or hope? It's an interesting question, and perhaps even an important one. Initially, I was very fearful and without much hope, but as I sat there and absorbed the full extent of my illness, I refused to let the fear completely blot out my optimism. Something told me that fear should never fully rule the heart, and I decided not to be afraid.
I wanted to live, but whether I would or not was a mystery, and in the midst of confronting that fact, even at that moment, I was beginning to sense that to stare into the heart of such a fearful mystery wasn't a bad thing. To be afraid is a priceless education. Once you have been that scared, you know more about your frailty than most people, and I think that changes a man. I was brought low, and there was nothing to take refuge in but the philosophical: this disease would force me to ask more of myself as person than I ever had before, and to seek out a different ethic.
A couple of days earlier, I had received an e-mail from a military guy stationed in Asia. He was a fellow cancer patient, and he wanted to tell me something.
"You don't know it yet," he wrote, "but we're the lucky ones."
I'd said aloud, "This guy's a nut."
What on earth could he mean?
When I read this, I stored it away in my mind, eagerly awaiting Lance's own answer to this question - lucky .. What on earth could he mean?. It would come quietly on the last page of the book.
"You don't know it yet, but we're the lucky ones," my fellow cancer patient had written.
I will always carry the lesson of cancer with me, and feel that I'm a member of the cancer community. I believe I have an obligation to make something better out of my life than before, and to help my fellow human beings who are dealing with the disease. It's a community of shared experience. Anyone who has heard the words You have cancer and thought, "Oh, my God, I'm going to die," is a member of it. If you've ever belonged, you never leave.
Jenny had often indicated that she felt lucky (I think in both aspects - that of surviving an aggressive cancer and oddly enough, having had had cancer). She said this in the Australian Story Episode, "In the Pink":
'I don't understand how things work out, and why things work out the way they do. I feel like I've been lucky. I don't understand how cancer works, I don't know why I've been blessed the way I have been.'

and in her Talks:
'I feel I am so lucky and have a wonderful life. I have had some great opportunities through breast cancer to meet some very inspiring people. Geoff and Jo have been a constant source of support for me. Breast cancer has totally changed my life but for the best.'

As Jenny's International Dragon Boating Career started, she came to the attention of the Media and in the first Newspaper Article she featured in, she was even compared to Lance Armstrong:
Don Iverson, Director of the Health and Productivity Research Center at the University of Wollongong, said that Ms Petterson could be compared to Lance Armstrong, who won the Tour de France after fighting testicular cancer.
'It's almost superhuman,' he said.
She was a little embarrassed by the comparison, but Jo and I were very proud of Jenny and her achievements in her treatment, her sport and her life as breast cancer survivor.

After Jenny's passing, I had an encounter in the Intensive Care Unit where Jenny left us. Joanne and I had gone back to thank the staff at the St George Hospital and to pickup some scans that had been lost in Jenny's move from the Level 1 to ICU. We spoke to the head ICU nurses (they were between shifts) and we knew both of them from Jenny's time in ICU (and I was well known to them as I had fainted in ICU on Jenny's second day in ICU after the neurosurgery). We talked a little and I mentioned that Jenny did consider herself lucky to have had cancer - as she said herself - it had changed her life for the better. One the nurses questioned this statement and she made me feel a little uneasy for saying what I had said. She could not believe anyone with cancer could consider themselves lucky. Maybe, she had seen too much of the cold harsh reality of cancer in that ICU. Maybe she was right. It did not seem too lucky now that Jenny was gone?
This conversation stuck in my mind for a long time, and I started to question many things. It was not until I came across the following blog post by Doug Miller that I found some peace. Here was a man who had recently been diagnosed with Cancer. He was articulate and in many ways his post offers so much more than Lance's writings on Cancer and Luck. This is probably the most moving piece of writing I have read in my life. I don't have cancer, but I have lived a shared life with it and it's consequences. I can truly emphasise. Here it is. My heart is with you Doug ..

The Lucky Ones by Doug Miller (Wed 23 Sep 2009)
[..] a friend [..] pointed me to Lance Armstrong's book entitled "Its not about the bike" I picked up a copy and quickly read through it. I liked it.
It had a bit much detail focusing on cycling, but that was an aspect of the man that could obviously not be separated from the larger reality of his battle with cancer.
There were portions though that left my mind spinning. Armstrong's description of his diagnosis and the roller coaster of emotions that ensued was painfully raw and hit the mark with a clarity and similarity I could not deny. I myself am walking those darkened and fearful paths as I write these very words.
Out of all the pages a couple simple statements that he made resonated with me in a powerful way.
Armstrong tells of a letter that he received. It was from a man he had never met before. He himself had battled cancer. He wrote Armstrong to acknowledge his support and positive thoughts. As he finished the letter he made a strange statement that confused Armstrong. He wrote, "you probably do not understand this right now, but we are the lucky ones".
What? How is anyone with cancer lucky? It is devastating. It not only has the potential to steal your life, but also has the destructive potential to steal your Hope. Those words are haunting. Lucky? We are the lucky ones. This brotherhood of suffering is somehow lucky..........blessed?
It is diametrically opposed to any sort of sane thinking that those outside of this brotherhood would agree with. It actually is an almost dangerous statement. As if you say it as you are waking off a cliff without a safety net. A statement such as that redefines everything. Life. Death. And even Hope.
But as I walk this path, and simultaneously encounter life in all its beauty and harshness, I find myself agreeing. "We are the lucky ones". I am lucky. I say those words with a part of me screaming, "how dare you, how can you say that". But it is true. The perspective that cancer gives to life is unbelievable. It has the power to refine you. Your thoughts. Your direction. Your focus.
It is as if you look at life for the first time. Everything is different. Nothing is the same. Everything is turned on edge, revealing a freshness and an urgency that is not seen outside of cancer. If this clarity does exist in our normal lives, it is missed. Overshadowed by the busyness of life. By worthless and empty pursuits.
Another quote from Armstrong's book was this: "Cancer is not about dying, it is about living" What a statement.
Most would argue against it. But those that walk this path find it to be true. Life after diagnosis becomes "alive". It becomes real. It is as if you can grasp it with your own hands, breath it in, consume it.
Oh if I could have had this view earlier in life. I knew that it existed. I sensed it. I chased it. Through the mountains. Through relationships. In the woods and fields of my youth. It was a whisper in the words of poets. And a reflection on the horizon as the sun slipped out of view. But i did not catch it until cancer became my reference. My reality.
We who are members of this brotherhood and sisterhood of suffering are the lucky ones, because now we can truly live. And Love. And Hope. And I dare to say Dream. They are painful dreams, haunted with the shadows of uncertainty, but they are vivid dreams. Passionate dreams. Dreams that leave your heart aching, your soul longing. We are released from the fear of death. Our finite lives are bared.
We come face to face with our mortality and realize that life is looking back at us. Raw and uncertain. But ALIVE none the less. There were days before cancer that I despaired. At times despising my life. But now I am hungry to live. I long to live. Whether that time be long or short, I hold tight to life and all of its glorious agony.
Posted by Doug Miller at 9:11 PM
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