Inspire Award 2020 - Pacific Dragons - Nicola Frowen (Sun 08 Nov 2020)

This is the 11th year of the Inspire Award. The award was created in the memory of club member Jenny Petterson who passed away in June 2009. Jenny was the slightly older identical twin of Joanne and Geoff was her Husband.

Jenny had a long journey in life with breast cancer and all the complications that come with a persistent and aggressive cancer. It was through this journey she found paddling. It gave her a chance to be like everyone else and she loved the training, competing and being part of a team. She paddled at the highest level, even up to the last month of her life. She was an inspiration to many through her actions and approach to life with cancer. She was a speaker for the Breast Cancer Network of Australia and spoke regularly to various groups in the community.

To remember Jenny, and to promote and acknowledge inspirational qualities within the club, the PD's committee of the day, created what is now the Inspire Award. Nominations are made by club members for their paddling club members. Initially, the Committee would make the decision and put the names forward to Joanne and Geoff as a courtesy. As the years passed, the committee decided to forward recommended nominations and it is now up to Joanne and Geoff to decide the recipient. A big responsibility for us.

This year the Committee received many great nominations made in the true spirit of the award and it is pleasing to see that inspiration is alive and well within the club. Included in the nominations this year were Caitlin Moffat, Esther Wheeler, Hannaleena Mikkonen, Jodie Dunbar, Jo Petterson, Karina Piddington, Nicola Frowen, Rachel Mosen, Vicki Rowcliff, Ian Amos and Geoff Eldridge.

As we look back we can see that the 2019/20 season was somewhat different in a few ways. Bushfires to start with and a global pandemic to follow that reached our shores in March 2020. As a result, it took the Inspire Award in a different direction to what we had hoped at the beginning of the season.

The pandemic showed to us many things that we had taken for granted, and at the same time reintroduced us to another time where life was a little slower, simpler and more local. It showed us that we were resilient and resourceful. For a moment our nation’s leader’s put aside politics and actual lead us through a very difficult time, We responded as individuals to situation the best we could and we were asked to make sacrifices for the long term good of our Nation and its’ people. We were also asked to isolate and distance ourselves and in process we became closer through a share experienced.

At a club-level the response was immediate and very effective. The club leadership recognised the importance of connection in insolation right from the very start and we had many club members contribute Facebook Live content – from their gardens, to kitchens, bikes, virtual drinks, to workspaces and who could ever forget the dextrous virtual “passing” of a toilet roll (no pun intended) across the club’s membership in insolation. We even had virtual single craft time-trials.

Our club leadership stepped up in these difficult times and provided a safe and inclusive environment for all club members to feel connected in a virtual way, since we could not interact in our usual way.

It took teamwork from our club leadership to quickly devise and implement a plan. Inspirational leadership ignites a spark within those they care for. The recipient of this year’s Inspire Award was a person who shone a bright and optimistic light on the club’s response as it evolved with the everchanging requirements of the pandemic response. She provided hope and that spark for many to act and I was one. There is not another person that has had a bigger impact on Jo and my lives, than this year’s Inspire Award recipient - Nicola Frowen. Congratulations Nicola.

We have known Nicola for many years now and well remember when she arrived as a new paddler supporting a friend who wanted to try paddling. Luckily for us, Nicola stayed while her friend moved on. Jo and I, as well as many here, have shared so many great experiences with her over the subsequent years both here and abroad. Working in the travel industry she has always had a hand in our travel arrangements one way or another and has kept us all very organised.

We have seen her grow as an inspirational paddler, coordinator, coach, leader and mentor. She recognises potential and opportunities for club members to contribute and is not afraid to suggest people to take on roles and undertake tasks. She believes in you and will support you. Here are what other club members have contributed.

From Caitlin:

Nicola has supported me the whole way through this accidental/last minute President situation. If she was not as generous with her time and knowledge, I would genuinely be lost. Every time I have asked for help, she has been there for me regardless of the millions of things she has going on.

Nicola's commitment to the club is like an iceberg, most people only see 10%. Her passion for our club and its members is unrivalled. It is all of that and more that continuously inspires me to be a better paddler, a committed club member and an outstanding President.

From Steve:

Nicola has a seemingly tireless energy, passion and enthusiasm for the PD's. Is always working on 'something' for the club be it as a coach, committee member, paddler or just assisting to keep things running over the last few months with the Covid-crisis. I might be seen to be slightly biased, but I am really speaking objectively and from personal 'observations'...!

Others added:

• Nicola is completely committed to ensuring that the club is training well and working together. Her encouragement before and after a race is motivating.
• from Nicola’s support across all paddling codes, words of encouragement and push to help our sport get back to the water is inspiring Nicola goes above and beyond in so many ways, most unseen by the club, to make things happen.
• Nicola has put in so much time into her own training and also to coaching others to better the club and has put in a lot of time to organise events etc

Congratulations Nicola. Thank you for everything. You are and always will be an inspiration.

Clarity - My Island Home - Pau Power and Christine Anu (22 Jan 2019)

One for the timeline ..

Missed this performance of 'My Island Home' at last years Commonwealth Games Opening Ceremony. Just popped up randomly after listening to an Artificial Intelligence Lecture - thanks YouTube, a machine learning recommendation system algorithm hard at work. The original and the various versions I have heard always give me goose bumps.

Moving around a few times from one end of the state to the other and back somewhere else at the other end, in my youth, I don't really feel I have a home town. Not in the sense that many feel. Somehow 'My Island Home' reminds me, and gives me an identity along with a relationship to the place I feel fortunate to call home - the place I live, share and experience life.

A song, its music and words give it meaning, emotion and feeling. Additionally we have the various performances, be it live, on TV, online or from a playlist on your phone. Again, just like a photo, a performance gives you a sense of time and place (memories I guess) ..

I remember seeing Christine and her partner play 'My Island Home' as buskers in the Pitt Street Mall in the lead up to the Sydney 2000 Olympics. An unforgettable and mesmerising performance by Christine on top of a huge silver globe during the Closing Ceremony of the Sydney Olympics. At the last minute I included a beautiful acoustic version at Jenny's Funeral as the song to mark the end of the service. I will never forget the first notes of the guitar, you could hear a pin drop and there was a clarity of feeling I have never felt before or after - in that moment it marked an end and a difficult but sure beginning. I felt it somehow expressed our new separate physical paths, Jenny's journey giving her a new path and home, as well as Jo and my own first steps in our new journey in life without her. Always brings a small tear to my eye when I think about it for more than a little bit. There was also a sense and clarity that we have to live fulfilling and meaningful lives and not to be burdened by sadness. We owe this to them all and it is a responsibility we all share ..

'My Island Home' gives me the same feelings I experience when flying in over Botany Bay in the rising sun light from the numerous long overseas trips over the last 30 years. You look out and you see the blue of the sky, and down, you see the beautiful blue of the Botany Bay water contrasted with the sand around its edges, the rippled banks and gutters underneath. You are reminded of the clarity of light and colour we take for granted here - you have not seen it anything near it while you were away and somehow it is forgotten until just then looking out the window. With it comes another clarity, the clarity of the feeling that this is my home, a home so far from the rest of the world and my ancestors. In those moments I look down and I wonder how did this place I am looking at become my home. I think of my ancestors, particularly those that made that first 6 month journey here in a leaky boat (another song for another day :-)) in the mid-1800's. I always wonder what made them come here and what they felt when first sighting the Sydney Heads, the gateway to Sydney and a new life. I was lucky enough to paddle around this very point, the entrance to their new home, this morning. We saw the sun rise with a clarity most of us had not seen before and as I paddled I heard various chatter between my friends as we paddled - I knew what they were talking about without hearing the exact words - we all saw and felt it. And in this rising sun I was reminded with clarity of how lucky I am to be living this life, in this time, in this place with my family and friends - 'Our Island Home' ..

[ After 4 years, just bought a new phone. This version of 'My Island Home' (love the hip-hop bit from Mau Power) is the first song on it :-) ]

Doing - John Maloof / Chicago Tonight (31 Jul 2012)

"working on nemlog - a labour of love" - UTS (Thu 31 May 2018)

John Maloof on Doing:

There’s so much work that I am doing. There’s times when it’s overwhelming to the point where I have anxiety about how much there is to do, and how little I have done with all the work I put in.

Sometimes there’s quiet moments when I am just scanning by myself and I just think wow, it’s amazing that I’m doing this. That someone like me is doing this.

via Vivian Maier / Chicago Tonight (July 31, 2012) by Chicago Tonight.

Discipline - Fawzan Husain / Anahita Panicker (Thu 14 Jul 2016)

waterfall - black and white - Wentworth Falls / Blue Mountains (Tue 12 Jul 2016(

Fawzan Husain on Discipline:

I want to bring in the discipline of the art and essentially want them to include the five Ws (what, why, where, when, who) in their pictures. So many narratives are often overlooked in this frenzy of shooting unnecessary, mundane things. And many times we don’t concentrate on the things we should actually be looking at.

via Street-savvy photography by Anahita Panicker.

A Story About a Camera - 2015 Inspire Award Reflections (Fri 27 Aug 2015)

Memories of Jenny - The Time of Your Life (youtube)

This is my 2000th post here at eljeiffel.

I always try to write something for the Annual Presentation of the Inspire Award. Most times it is just for me, but sometimes I share it with a few people. So here it is, unedited from the time it was written on the evening of Fri 27 Aug 2015. I think it is a pretty good way to mark the milestone.

As many will know, I have another obsession in my life - Photography.

I started out buying a small digital camera for our Dec 2000 trip to the Cook Islands to visit Jenny and Jo's Meditation teacher, Barbara, who had moved there to help setup a refuge for women . We didn’t know a thing about paddling back then.

I had bought the camera hoping I would be able to capture our memories. It was a tiny digital camera by today’s standards, 1 Mega Pixel and it cost $1600 duty free and a 64 MB compact flash memory cost more than $300.

I did not flinch and I thought it was all worth it, as my credit card was swiped at Ted’s Camera Store the day before we flew out. 15 years later I can tell you here that it was one of the best things I ever did.

My motivation for the camera came from that fact that Jenny had 11 tumours in her lungs and I did not really know how long we would have together. In the end we had just over 9 years of married life. Given Jenny’s condition, a miracle really ..

We were married on 30th April of that Sydney Olympic year and we honeymooned on Lord Howe Island for 10 glorious days in May 2000. Jenny had a film camera and she took many photos.

On our return flight to Sydney, I remember a conversation we had at the Departure Terminal with an older couple from Whyalla who congratulated us on our marriage. We had briefly met them at dinner at one of the small restaurants on the Island.

They told us they had been married for many years and the trip to Lord Howe Island was a way of creating another experience in life and expanding their memories. Better than [running a busy business or] sitting at home and watching the Telly, they said.

This conversation and piece of simple worldly wisdom has stuck with me and I remind myself of it constantly. It was my main motivation to buy that small expensive digital camera for our December 2000 trip to the Cook Islands.

I took many photos that trip to Cook Islands, even of the Outrigger Canoes in the lagoon at Aitutaka, we had no idea what they were – who would guess our future.

Shortly after our return, Jenny and Jo found Dragon Boating. And over the ensuing years many experiences and memories were created, dutifully captured by our cameras.

I documented the many dragon boat campaigns here and abroad, and ensuing holidays that followed each event.

In the process of this documenting I came to realise the power of photography, not only its visual power, but its ability to record our experiences and remind us of things we have done and who we were. We were doing selfies before the term was even invented. We called them “Holdouts” and I think this might be the main cause of Jo’s shoulder injury.

In those last few weeks at St George Hospital in Jun 2009, I captured the last moments of our lives together. They are the best I ever made.

After Jenny’s passing, It took me a while to pick up a camera again. I had lost my purpose and will. I was hurting and numb all at once but paddled through for a year or two – it helped a lot to be busy and in the company of friends. New experiences were created and I even smiled [for] a little [while].

Lost in the enormity of what had happened so quickly, though it was not a surprise, I found my first moments of comfort and hope, when I decided to start looking at some of the photos from our lives together. It made me cry, but it also made me smile. I was so happy that I had this archive of bits and bytes to remind me of Jenny, Joanne, myself and who we were.

It was only after Jo told me to organise my photos and my Mum said I should start making photos again, that I started to move forward. I was completely broken but I took up their advice and kept myself busy again, organising and photographing again. I am still broken but I live with it better now, it is part of me and who I will always be, but I am happy, optimistic, naïve and creating more experiences.

So I guess what I am trying to say is that we have to go out there and make our memories through the experiences we create for ourselves. And this is what I love about PD’s, we are always out there doing something. This time last year we were in Bologna on our way to Ravena, this year we are heading to Hawaii in the next week and month, next year Adelaide and who knows where after that.

Finally, in our lives we have loss, grief and bereavement. It is a part of living. You make a choice when it knocks on your door. And we have chosen to live in the Afterglow of our loss of Jenny – to remember and honour and be guided and inspired. Accept it and live with it and make the most of it, even let it inspire and motivate you. And that is what Jo and I have done, I would like to think.

“Believe in Hope” as the graffiti’ed wall in Cleveland Street said for a few weeks in July 2015.

Believe in Hope - Cleveland Street / Chippendale (Wed 29 Jul 2015)

With this post it is time to let go of a lot things, including the photos of another time and life. I have shed my life here (and Facebook more recently) like a snake sheds it skin and there is nothing left but to start over again. Time to move on, but it is hard to let go .. but I will.

Trying to make a new start here (arotlt.com) with photos from this point onwards. There will be the occasional post at eljeiffel to mark the odd moment in our lives that are relevant, but for now thanks for coming along for the ride these last, almost, 7 years.

symbolically the black rose suggests death, or the completion of a long journey (Trent Parke’s moving Black Rose photo exhibition at Art Gallery of SA ) - Black Rose / Fitzroy Street / Newtown (Sun 29 Nov 2015)

On Tears - Iain S. Thomas

Tears and Comfort - Park Guell / Barcelona (Thu 08 Aug 2013)

Iain S. Thomas on Hope and Love:

I hope every tear you ever cry makes you feel a little bit better

via 300 Things [here by Iain S. Thomas].

While I have shed a tear just about everyday for what has been lost - a life, a love, a relationship and a future - I have only shed them to myself. There have only been two times since Jenny died that this has not been the case.

The first time was at the end of the day of Jenny's Funeral. The others headed upstairs when we arrived home that cold winter's evening. I stayed downstairs and went into one of the rooms, closed the door and in the darkness curled up on the floor under the desk and let out a howl that I had not heard before or since. The others came down and comforted me. I had broken down after a week of being brave and doing what I had to do. The other time is for another day but would happen a few months later in a small town in the south of France.

You go through stages and when you stop shedding tears for a time, you wonder if you are forgetting or your heart has just turned to stone. Invariably, something happens - a person, an event, an anniversary but mostly a song - and the tears flow again and you feel better. There is no need to be comforted. I am strong enough to shed them on my own. They are mine only and I find comfort in them because that's what they are for, to make you feel better.

Knowing you, knowing me - Urbanbites / King Street / Newtown (Sun 29 Nov 2015)

Knowing you, knowing me - Urbanbites / King Street / Newtown (Sun 29 Nov 2015)

Up early for a big day. Decide to go get a coffee, but the local coffee shops wont be open until 8am, so decide to go up to the coffee shop you lived in for the first six months after Jenny's passing. It was frequented many times in the subsequent years and many fond memories with family, friends and mostly, myself, in my thoughts that the place nurtured. If I could write, I could write a book about the place and what I felt and experienced there. Many of the early blog posts implicitly encapsulate this, so I am glad to have made the effort.

It is over 12 months since I have been here and when I arrived just after 7 this morning, I sat and noticed the small changes that a prolonged separation facilitates and makes so obvious. I noticed the staff. Many were the same, which says a lot for the place which becomes incredibly busy later in the day and night.

I am served by a young waiter I know by face. He has been here for as long as I can remember. We don't know each others names but we know each enough to know each other even after 12 months of not seeing or even thinking each other.

You are touched when he remembers to ask before I can say what he is just about to say "large flat white?". "Thanks, that would be perfect" I said, "you remembered". He smiled and then proceeded on his way to make sure my coffee arrived to please me as best he could.

This is the second time in a week you have experienced something like this. And you wonder how and why?

You've walked through life trying your hardest not to be noticed, for that is where a shy person finds refuge and comfort. However, it's moments like this that make you realise that you do exist and in some ways touch people. Maybe it is because you touch people by just being there in the corner, trying your hardest to not be noticed ...

"Knowing you, knowing me" as the ABBA Classic goes ..

On Photography and Understanding - Colin Pantell (Fri 20 Nov 2015)

An Angel's Wing over my Right Shoulder - South Cronulla (Mon 02 Nov 2015)

Colin Pantell on Photography and Understanding:

the act of photography [can be a] form of personal understanding of [our] own past

via Dear Japanese: A genuine struggle with the past by Colin Pantell.

I have felt a presence greater than myself, over my right ahoulder, twice in my life. Both times were since Jenny's passing. Will write about it and another moment one day. Have tried not to understand it beyond acknowledging that there is soemthing beyond me that I will probably never quite comprehend or understand. Just happy that I had someone looking over my shoulder when It counted. As the song goes Riding on the Wings of an Angel. Nice photo Rachel.

Self Portrait - South Cronulla (Mon 02 Nov 2015)

On Anger - Rebecca Propst

Untitled - Busan (Fri 07 Sep 2012)

Rebecca Propst on Anger:

Anybody can become angry – that is easy, but to be angry with the right person and to the right degree and at the right time and for the right purpose, and in the right way – that is not within everybody’s power and is not easy.

via Fear of Anger and Avoidance of Conflict by Rebecca Propst.

Have learnt much about anger recently. Thought anger was a futile emotion, but it much more complex than that, as the above quote indicates. If it's there, it's generally there for a reason. It needs to be acknowledged, addressed and can't be harboured for longer than necessary. It takes great strength and emotional intelligence to confront and deal with.

I've been angry when I should not have been, and not angry when I should have been. And there have been many times when I was entitled to be angry.

The difficult emotions and actions around anger are something I've tried to avoid for a lifetime. When it was unavoidable, it usually resulted in a pent up and regretable response. So now knowing a little more helps. As I was told recently:

Know more, Do more, Be more

On Change - The Story of Telling (Mon 02 Nov 2015)

Jenny and Geoff - Cape Leveque / Western Australia (Tue 08 May 2001)

The Story of Telling on Change:

the most important driver of change is the willingness to make it happen

via The Opportunity Equation (02 Nov 2015) by The Story of Telling (Berndatte Jiwa).

Most times change is optional - you do or don't do something about it and it is a theme that has appeared here many times over the last 6.5 years. Sometimes change is foisted upon you without choice and often without notice. Again it is up to to you decide whether to do something about it - to become a victim or a survivor. Or you can just try to ignore it somehow, but it will always catch up with you, so this is not a great option. Often it is best to take a little timeout to acknowledge the change, if you can. Ultimately, it is up to you to make the difficult steps to keep moving forward from the place you landed.

On the Joy of Paddling - Honolulu (Sun 10 Sep 2011)

a little lift - gotta work for it!! - Geoff, Jo, David, Betty (that would be my amazing Mum in Seat 4), .. - Waikiki Beach / Honolulu (Sun 10 Sep 2011)

now enjoy the reward of the effort - Geoff, Jo, David, Betty (that would be my amazing Mum in Seat 4), .. - Waikiki Beach / Honolulu (Sun 10 Sep 2011)

Paddling has changed my life. It has given me so much Joy. It has given me purpose and goals through the good and tough times.

Going back to Hawaii just now for the biggest paddling challenge for an Outrigger Paddler. Thanks to all who have supported and encouraged us to get to this Moment (yes it's just there now ready for us to firmly grasp with both hands). It takes much effort by many people. It can be hard, uncomfortable and difficult but that's why you do it.

Hoping we might be able to catch a few runners just like we did here off the beach in Sep 2011, and minimise the mistakes as we do the 66 km crossing with 110 crews from all over the world. See you on the other side, all going well ..

On Inspiration - Carmen Beirne / The Road to Character (Tue 30 Jun 2015)

Self Portrait - Six Years - St George Private Hospital (Tue 30 Jun 2015)

Cecelia Beirne on Inspiration:

I can inspire confidence in others, I can be inspired..

via PURPOSE: “SHE’D TAKEN THE TIME TO KNOW ME” by Cecelia Beirne

The last time I remember sitting on this seat was the afternoon of the day before Jenny died. I came out of the ICU to give Joanne some time with Jenny and to shed a quiet tear in silence and solitude under the late afternoon blue sky. The tears rolled down my cheeks and I could taste their saltiness (a recent familiar taste from the heightened emotions anniversaries seem to bring). Some tears had time to dry and become dry crusty white trails down my cheeks. And I tried to wipe them away quickly as one of the ICU Nurses approached and sat down next to me to chat before the start of her shift. I can't remember much about our conversation but I do remember being shown compassion and empathy.

Yesterday, on the 6th Anniversary of Jenny's passing, I sat here and asked Joanne to make this photo using my phone camera. The passage of 6 years in time between those two moments is hard to comprehend but I see it in my Minds Eye and I can definitely feel it all as I look at this photo. I don't really know what to write..Maybe it has already been written?

When I sat here six years ago I did not know Jenny would die the next day, though I knew it would be soon - I had already realistically resigned myself to that fact. I also did not know how my life would unfold in that six year time gap. It has been a roller-coaster and I have bumped and knocked my way around life. Apologies to anyone I have bruised along the way. I question some times if I'm getting any better at it all, or whether I just keep making the same old mistakes, though I would like to think I have grown a little and made a small difference to those around me, in my own small ways, just as the ICU nurse did as she sat next to me six years ago. I think of these small moments often and I draw inspiration and guidance from it and wherever I can. Enough now for another year.

On Creating a Moment - Drew Ginn (Fri 17 Aug 2012)

Car Park - Black and Yellow - Jongno-gu/ Seoul (Tue 11 Sep 2012)

Drew Ginn on Creating a Moment:

we all start out simply focusing on what we do. Then we either become inspired or imagine and things begin to progress. The days add up along with the months and years. Our focus improves along with our capacities and skills . We advance and things become interestingly possible. Then one day or over a period of days it becomes real. I mean it all starts to hit you that you are living your dream and aspiration has become action. This is a flexion point and a phase of confidently growing and shifting into a belief. Some times it faintly begins to unfold before the big moment and yet no one wants to let themselves get caught up in getting ahead of themselves. So then it's often not until its either to late or almost beyond the moment. The door is welcoming and somehow we can still hesitate. No moment stays open forever and some times they pass with out being taken.

via RUDDERFISH: Dreaming, Reality, Being Home & Moving Forward by Drew Ginn.

On Photography - Feeling and Responsibility - Streetshooter (Mon 22 Jun 2015)

Red - Chippendale (Tue 23 Jun 2015)

Streetshooter on Photography, Feeling and Responsibilty:

if you feel a photo in your heart and you see it in your heart and mind, you need to see it with the camera. [..]

I like to assume responsibility for my work [..] there’s a real satisfaction to SEE something and then MAKE a photo and have it satisfy you and maybe others too. You can think how you saw the photo coming together and recall everything about it that you didn’t take the time to forget.

I think I understand but not fully.

via Streets of Philadelphia … A Visual Diary … Page 7 … Fuji X100s by Streetshooter.

I've walked to work since we moved office in Feb last year. I love it. It takes about 30 minutes and it has become an invaluable time for me to just walk and be engaged in the moment of just doing that. It gives me a chance to just think about things and I solve many problems and reflect on life a little. I have found a nice way and a few options and a couple are my favourites because how they make me feel. Often I see something that I have not noticed though I have walked past it many times. This photo is one of those things. It is just a few scratches on a peice of metal that has been painted red. I felt it, saw it, made it and I am responsible for giving it a life beyond itself. I love what photography does and these words make some sense of it all. Thanks Streetshooter.

On Life Engaged - Mike Slack / Blake Andrews (Wed 17 Jun2015)

Untitled - Alexandria (Mon 23 Jun 2014)

Mike Slack on Photography and Engagement:

I don’t know what the goal is, other than to keep doing it, to stay in practice, to stay engaged and see new things. There's a lot of repetition, and satisfaction, in the behavior.

via Q & A with Mike Slack by Blake Andrews.

I sense the same feeelings in my own photography (and life and paddling for that matter). The engagement, the doing, without any particular goal can help you through some tough times in your life. And, this is what I did and continue to do.

Photos and how we feel when we Remember - Colin Pantell (Tue 18 Mar2014)

Joanne and Jenny - "puts a smile on face" - Dobroyd (Sun 27 Aug 2006)

Colin Pantall on Photography and Remembering:

It's strange how one remembers things without being aware on any conscious level of why one remembers or how one remembers. [..]

Perhaps it might be good to reach elsewhere for our ideas on photography, outside the small, incestuous world of photo-theory so that we can add to and enrich our understanding of how images work with added engagement and added interest. Today, cognitive and social psychology might be good places to start. [..]

I can't help but feel that there is also an element of the false memory (more of which in a different post) and wish fulfilment in there as well.

The idea that when we see those happy pictures, we remember them and feel that those happy times will come again.

Via A Happy Post for Happy People by Colin Pantall.

On Photography and Intention – StreetShooter (Mon 06 May 2015)

Heart - Ultimo (Fri 20 Mar 2015)

StreetShooter writes on Photography and Intent:

Here’s some things I discovered and figured out. I am not claiming to be the inventor or Doctor of Photography. I am just a guy that’s made photography a very important of my existence and these are things I try to live by.

There are 3 facets to photography. Eye, Heart and Mind. The Important thing is INTENT. Try to visualize a Pie. In the center is INTENT. Equally at three points are Eye, Heart and Mind. There are 3 parts because Intent is why you do things and not how you do things. The other 3 are how you do things.

All parts are the sum of one and effect each other at different times.

via Streetshooter … Thoughts and Findings … Defining and Finding “Intent” by StreetShooter.

A Moment - Doug Miller (Fri 28 Aug 2009)

Gulf of St Vincent - Blue Sky, Blue Ocean - South Australia (Fri 01 May 2015)

Doug Miller on a Moment and Eternity:

One of the most difficult parts of walking the early stages of cancer seems to be the waves of feelings, emotions, guilt, etc. that you feel. It is the strangest feeling. One moment you are having a normal conversation or doing simple daily tasks and SUDDENLY......WHAM you get hit by a wave of thoughts. [..]

But at times this weight lifts. And for a moment there is a lightness of being. At times as you face your mortality there are moments where the importance rests solely in a single moment. The blueness of the sky, a breeze, the warmth of the sun, a laugh with a friend, the touch of a hand, these moments sometimes sharpen the focus of life. And at once time stands still pausing in the simplicity and perfection of that moment. Maybe that is how eternity feels.

via Waves by Doug Miller.

On Photography and Light - Trent Parke / Clarissa Sebag-Montefiore (Sun08 Mar 2015)

Yellow with a Little Bit of Red - "love my new iPhone6 - always have a decent camera now" - Mitchell Road / Alexandria (Sat 14 Mar 2014)

Trent Parke on Photography and Light:

You walk around at times thinking the whole world is a painting. Light is my work.

via The photographer who made Australia his canvas by Clarissa Sebag-Montefiore.

Trent Parke: The Black Rose opens 14 March at the Art Gallery of South Australia, as part of the 2015 Adelaide Festival..

Off to Adelaide for the day on Monday to see this exhibition. A kindred spirit in life and photography and he has inspired my own efforts in many ways. Maybe more on this next week ...

Remembering Tim - Norwood Park Crematorium / Canberra (Fri 11 Mar 2005)

Tim (my Brother) and Tom (my Dad) - Norwood Park Crematorium / Canberra (Fri 27 Feb 2015)

Today, 10 years on, we Remember Tim:

Timothy Francis Eldridge was born on Wednesday 4 December 1963 in Tamworth NSW. He became the third and youngest child of Thomas and Betty. He had an elder sister, Lynn, spelt with two n's not one as Tim persisted throughout his whole life). Lynn was two years older than Tim. Myself, Geoff being 3 years older was the eldest. His father was an electrical engineer with the Electricity Commision of NSW. The Regional Centre was based in Tamworth and from this office the electricity transmission system in northern NSW grew. The nature of his Father's work often required nights away from home. We all looked forward to Dad's return on Friday Night with a bag of mixed lollies for all.

Lynn and I found as oursleves at school and this gave Tim two years at home with Mum by himself. Mum tells me now that he spent this time playing with the kids across the road. Even at this early age Tim was making friends. I seem to recall also that Tim managed to get a 1/2 day of pre-school (a first in the family). I always felt that this small period with other new kids gave Tim a nice head start when he commenced his schooling at South Tamworth Primary. He was well adjusted for the rigours of school, made friends easily (he was always going to birthday parties) and was a natural at anything he put his mind to.

He started in the top class in Kindy and there he stayed each year through his primary school days (and subsequent educational endeavours). Tim was a also a natural athlete and started playing rugby league at he age of eight, moving quickly onto soccer and then finally hockey (all in one year .. maybe this was a sign of things to come). He played representative hockey for Tamworth at the state champships every June Long Weekend. I even recall him playing under 12 hockey at Lismore when he was only 9. He was a prodigy even then. He also represented the North Western NSW primary school team in Murwullumbah where his team came back as state champions. Another little publicised sporting achievement was middle distance running and I remember him running a low 2 minute 800 meters at the Tamworth Primary Schools Athletic Carnival. A record that was not broken for many years.

The year Tim finished his primary school saw the Eldridge family move from Tamworth to Wagga for Dad's work. This was a tough time for everyone but we all adapted to new environs and our new high school in Wagga called Kooringal High. It was a new school and much smaller than the high school Lynn and I left in Tamworth. Probably 1/4 the size in students and was so new that it did not even have a sixth form in our first year there. Tim as always fitted in very quickily and he found new friends almost instantly. Many of whom are here today.

By the time Tim reached Wagga he had found the game of golf and before long he was swinging a set of clubs out at the Wagga Country Club, across the lake from where we lived. Here he spent many hours fine tuning his tee shots, fairway shots, chips and putts (or spits as his young nephew would subsequently refer, many years later). Golf was to become a life long passion and this was something which always stayed with him. It was only his 94 year old grandfather who thought something was wrong four weeks ago when he percieved Tim had lost interest in his Golf.

Tim breezed through high school and obtained excellent grades with little effort. In his final year he was nominated as perfect (whooops I meant "a prefect") and was voted school vice captain by his peers. For his HSC he studied a couple of hours each night on the floor in front of the TV. To recover from this strenous study regime, he would spend the next day playing 36 holes of golf.

With his HSC behind him Tim entered the University of Sydney and worked his way towards a Civil Engineering degree over a four year period. The first two years of his course, Tim lived at Wesley College, a residential college on the grounds of Sydney University. Here, Tim, along with some of high school buddies quickily adapted to the demanding University life style. Days at the beach, missing lectures, drinking beer, etc. He found new friends quickily and again many are here today. The nucleaus of this group were quickily dubbed the "DAMAGE BOYS" because of the drinking reputation at College Victory Dinners, formals and other ramdon gatherings.

Mid way through his second year, Tim's father Thomas passed away suddenly at the early age of 47 after a sunday afternoon hockey match. It was my job to tell Tim the news that Sunday night. I now remember his numb response to my news. "Where has he gone?" he asked. His fathers death at such a young age for all of us was a defining moment in Tim's life (probably the most defining moment up until last Saturday). It was a difficult time for Tim and the Family. Initially he seemed to cope well, but the next year saw Tim arrive home to Wagga unannounced many times during the university terms. I guess the one lesson (or theory actually I would call it a LAW) Tim would give us today from all this would be to grieve properly, seek support from Family, Friends and professionals and to address the difficult issues these tramatic events have on the fragile human soul.

Anyway, back to Uni, Tim bravely persisted and graduated with honours at the end of 1985. His brief but eventful civil engineering career started with a small but prestigous Civil Engineering Consultating companycalled Wargon, Chapman and Partners. Mr Wargon, a famous Amercican civil engineer appeared to take Tim under his wing and Tim quickily found himself designing car parks, and tall buildings. As well as doing one-off type jobs such as a structural integrity report of the Channel 9 Transmitter Antenna at the Channel 9 Compound, and preliminary designs for the now Sydney Harbour Tunnel.

Tim quickily realised that Civil Engineering was not for him (however a recent rush of activity with home decks shows there was some latent interest in at least some things civil). On the fifth redesign for an Alan Bond tower on the old Waltons site across from the Sydney Town Hall, Tim decided to move on. This gave him the chance to travel for 3 months overseas which took him to many places in Europe, England, particularly London and even India (if I recall correctly).

London was a place to which Tim would return frequently over the rest of his life, the last being July/August last year. The drawcards to London were friends and another life passion I have not yet mentioned, English Football. His favourite team during his schools days was Queens Park Rangers. Though his interested waned when their goalie Phil Parkes defected to my team West Ham in 1977 for a then world record sum of 565,000 pounds. Subsequent years and more recently Tim has been an Arsenal supporter.

On his return in the late 80's Tim persued his ambition for a new career. In this pursuit he found himself in Canberra studying part-time for a degree in Information Systems at the then Canberra College of Advanced Education and working part-time for small scientific software consulting firms. One system I remember was a flight simiulator program driven by data from aircraft black-box recorders.

On graduation from the CCAE Tim started work at Customs and then Department of Veterans Affairs for a record three years. Towards the end of this stint in DVA, Tim bought his house in Griffith, just up from Marnucka. He lived in the house briefly before deciding that a six month stint in Los Angles working on a Telon Related Inventory system was the go. On his return he decided to work in Sydney and here he had stints at NRMA and Westpac. Weekends saw Tim travelling back to his home in Canberra to catch up with friends and to play golf amongst other things. This became too tiring and before long he was back in Canberra fulltime working at the Australian Tax Office and subsequently Customs. His crowning software achievement was an ATO case-actioning tool which I believed was to be a distillation of systems and processes from the many places he had worked.

More recently, Tim returned to DVA where he ventured into web-based systems using packages such as Websphere and Tomcat.

Wherever Tim worked, he took the roles on seriously. He appeared to very much love a process and a set of rules to capture and implement. He believed rules were meant not to be broken (contrary to the majority of the population) and I always thought that he was perfect fit for the ATO. [He had a great sense of what was right and doing it right].

Another constant in Tim's life were his friends and I will always remember his 40th birthday speech where he said the party was not to celebrate his 40th, but more importantly, a chance for his family and friends to get together.

There is so much more to be said. We all have our memories of Tim and I ask you for just one moment to reflect on the good times you had with him ... and to take this forward with you through the tough times ahead.

It is now time to say goodbye to a loving son, brother, grandson, nephew, uncle, friend and colleague. We now know that Tim struggled with a delibertating and destructive illness which he held undercover for many years. I ask you to take the time to consider the strength he showed under this enormous pressure and to admire him for how he lived a relatively normal and happy life, shared with friends and family.

In the end Tim ran out "Puff" as he said and found peace from his illness the only way he knew how. Please forgive him. He asked for this.

Tim, you asked me where Dad had gone. We know that you searched for him high and low. We also now know that you have found him. The search and struggle is complete and that you have found your peace.

You will always have a special place in our hearts and memories. We will miss you.

Love .. Mum, Lynn and Geoff ..