Clarity - My Island Home - Pau Power and Christine Anu (22 Jan 2019)

One for the timeline ..

Missed this performance of 'My Island Home' at last years Commonwealth Games Opening Ceremony. Just popped up randomly after listening to an Artificial Intelligence Lecture - thanks YouTube, a machine learning recommendation system algorithm hard at work. The original and the various versions I have heard always give me goose bumps.

Moving around a few times from one end of the state to the other and back somewhere else at the other end, in my youth, I don't really feel I have a home town. Not in the sense that many feel. Somehow 'My Island Home' reminds me, and gives me an identity along with a relationship to the place I feel fortunate to call home - the place I live, share and experience life.

A song, its music and words give it meaning, emotion and feeling. Additionally we have the various performances, be it live, on TV, online or from a playlist on your phone. Again, just like a photo, a performance gives you a sense of time and place (memories I guess) ..

I remember seeing Christine and her partner play 'My Island Home' as buskers in the Pitt Street Mall in the lead up to the Sydney 2000 Olympics. An unforgettable and mesmerising performance by Christine on top of a huge silver globe during the Closing Ceremony of the Sydney Olympics. At the last minute I included a beautiful acoustic version at Jenny's Funeral as the song to mark the end of the service. I will never forget the first notes of the guitar, you could hear a pin drop and there was a clarity of feeling I have never felt before or after - in that moment it marked an end and a difficult but sure beginning. I felt it somehow expressed our new separate physical paths, Jenny's journey giving her a new path and home, as well as Jo and my own first steps in our new journey in life without her. Always brings a small tear to my eye when I think about it for more than a little bit. There was also a sense and clarity that we have to live fulfilling and meaningful lives and not to be burdened by sadness. We owe this to them all and it is a responsibility we all share ..

'My Island Home' gives me the same feelings I experience when flying in over Botany Bay in the rising sun light from the numerous long overseas trips over the last 30 years. You look out and you see the blue of the sky, and down, you see the beautiful blue of the Botany Bay water contrasted with the sand around its edges, the rippled banks and gutters underneath. You are reminded of the clarity of light and colour we take for granted here - you have not seen it anything near it while you were away and somehow it is forgotten until just then looking out the window. With it comes another clarity, the clarity of the feeling that this is my home, a home so far from the rest of the world and my ancestors. In those moments I look down and I wonder how did this place I am looking at become my home. I think of my ancestors, particularly those that made that first 6 month journey here in a leaky boat (another song for another day :-)) in the mid-1800's. I always wonder what made them come here and what they felt when first sighting the Sydney Heads, the gateway to Sydney and a new life. I was lucky enough to paddle around this very point, the entrance to their new home, this morning. We saw the sun rise with a clarity most of us had not seen before and as I paddled I heard various chatter between my friends as we paddled - I knew what they were talking about without hearing the exact words - we all saw and felt it. And in this rising sun I was reminded with clarity of how lucky I am to be living this life, in this time, in this place with my family and friends - 'Our Island Home' ..

[ After 4 years, just bought a new phone. This version of 'My Island Home' (love the hip-hop bit from Mau Power) is the first song on it :-) ]

Decisions - Paulo Coelho

tree - Alexandria (Mon 27 Jun 2016)

Paul Coelho on Decisions:

The warrior of the light is terrified when faced with important decisions.

"That is too great for you," says one friend. "Go on, be brave," says another. And his doubts only increase.

After some days of anxiety, he withdraws into a corner of his tent, where he usually sits to mediate and pray. He sees himself in the future. He sees the people who will benefit and lose out because of his actions. He does not wish to cause unnecessary suffering, but nor will he abandon the path.

So the warrior allows the decision to appear. If he must say yes, then he shall bravely say it. If he must say no, then he shall say so without fear.

[Another first day of the rest of my life]

via The moment to decide by Paul Coelho.

Letting Go - Maggie Barrett (Sun 05 Jun 2016)

stairs - Central Park / Ultimo (Mon 06 Jun 2016)

Maggie Barret on Letting Go:

letting go always requires one to feel the pain of attachment. It requires one to head into terra incognito. It also requires one to take responsibility for having chosen to cling to a path of resistance.

via TIME TO BE | Feeling Our Way Around by Maggie Barret

"That is my life story up until now" - Remembering Jenny (Mon 06 Jul 2009)

The cackle of a Laughing Kookaburra announces the first light of dawn as the sun rose on that cold winters day. With no sleep that night preparing for Jenny's Funeral later in the day, I penned these words to honour Jenny's Life at her Funeral. Six and half years later, looking back at what came out in those last few hours, I am happy. What strikes me most is how I chose to "reflect on the little things". And they are what I miss most. Here it is ..

Jennifer Joy Petterson
24 Mar 1962 - 30 Jun 2009
Age 47 years 3 months and 6 days

"That is my life story up until now."

This is how Jenny ended her "Autobiography" written in 5th class (being 1972). I always enjoyed reading this lengthy account (it had 3 three parts) of Jenny's life up to the age of 10. I loved this story and scanned the original into my computer so that I could read it during a quiet moment at work.

Jenny was the eldest identical twin daughter of Norm and Margaret Petterson of Holt Road, Sylvania. With feet eagerly pressing on Jenny's back at the birth, a younger sister followed 5 minutes after Jenny's arrival. This was her identical twin sister Joanne. She was ready to play and from that time on they were inseparable. On the day of their birth Jenny writes there was a fete at the hospital. Jenny would always tell me that Norm bought a wind up koala at the fete that played music. For some reason she did not write this

The Autobiography, even at the age of 10, shows that Jenny had an eye for detail, as this quote reveals.

"At the age of 4 years and 10 months and 15 days we started school and cried when mummy left us."

It documents many facts and figures - birth weights and lengths, when they first walked, where they holidayed and details such as the colour of the caravans they stayed in - all well recorded for prosperity.

They participated in many sporting activities (which has been a constant throughout Jenny's life) - swimming, physie, jazz ballet, and little athletics, to mention a few.

Furthermore, she recalls the date of their first hair cut. - and even allowing me to determine that her first tooth fell out on my 7th birthday .

More generally what can be summarized from the autobiography is that Jenny had a fun filled, active childhood with her sister Joie and friends, which was encouraged and fostered by their loving parents.

Even as babies there seemed to be an order to things and this became even more apparent once they started to talk (yes that date is also recorded). In Part 1 of Jenny's Autobiography:

"One the 3rd Oct 1964 we had our first haircut and Joie said, 'Denny First', meaning Jenny first".

Jenny even then was a stabilizing influence on Joanne.

As stated above Jenny finishes her "Autobiography" with:

"That is my life story up until now."

Obviously she looks forward to the future and how she will fit into the world as she grows up. In recent years these words struck a chord with me. Today, these words have even greater meaning.

Jenny and Jo progressed to Sylvania High. They started part time work at Grace Bros’, Miranda Fair. Jo in "Cosmetics and Womens Clothing" and Jenny in "Hardware and Gardening" - "Same, Same but Different". I often asked Jenny to recall these days and I would get a kick when she could still recite the cost codes of power tools and various hardware items. The attention for detail was paying off out in the real world!!

During high school, the Girls ramped up their sporting activities and started to focus on Athletics, Cross Country Running and also a bit of Tennis. Interestingly enough, Jo and I would have crossed paths at the CHS State Cross Country Championships held at Hurlstone Ag College in 1977.

They also found time to also progress from Brownies to Girl Guides. Musters and camps were attended and they both rose quickly though the ranks to Patrol Leaders, finally achieving the highest rank of Queen's Guide with presentation of the award by the Governor of NSW, Sir Rodden Cuttler.

School and High School Certificates were sat and good grades recorded in all subjects. Geography was Jenny's favourite - definitely an early sign of a future "Travel Bug". She loved a map and an atlas, and this remained another constant throughout her life.

Successful Grades accomplished in the HSC saw the Girls accepted into the Bachelor of Business at UTS.

Following interviews the Girls accepted Business/Administration cadetships with the Electricity Commission of NSW. Our lives crossed similar paths again, as I had the same Interviewer for my successful application for an Engineering Cadetship. We were now working for the same company - be it 12,000 people.

Group assignments were the norm at UTS and they always found it easier if the group consisted of two members - more specifically themselves. Minimizing traveling, they were on the same wavelength, which provided for a consistent approach to completing the assignment just in time.

At work, as was the case during their school days at Sylvania, Jenny and Jo made many friends. There were lots of "Work Outings" with friends from [Work and] Uni.

Being at an age to travel independently, they made many "trips away". These were always well documented with many photographs taken, always with people in them (themselves typical) and some local landmark behind.

Jenny documents in a 1995 twin survey that they had traveled overseas on 13 occasions, as well as numerous holidays in Australia.

At work Jenny was provided with early work experiences, mainly in Purchasing (there were lots of cost codes to remember there). Jenny then pursued a career in Internal Audit, specializing in large mainframe computer systems and business systems. This was the days before PC's. Joanne followed a more traditional path into financial and management accounting. As PC progresses throughout the organization, there were now many PC Id numbers to remember.

All kinds of sporting activities were tried and some pursued more than others. The main sport would then become Touch Football, participating in three separate competitions each week. Also they found the water and learnt to row single and double sculls, as well as 4's and 8's.

Through a combined interest in running, Jenny and I crossed paths in organising our company's participation in the inaugural Corporate Games held in Nov 1989. I can remember the first time we met and I how I was instantly attracted to her smile, blue eyes and lovely [nature]. On the [day of the Games] I realized that Jenny was an identical twin. We all had a great day.

Afterwards, I often thought of Jenny and a few months later out of the blue, she arranged to give me a team photo from the day and then asked me to partner her to a wedding. I was stunned. We agreed to go out on 30th March 1990 before the wedding in order to get to know each other better. We had dinner and saw a movie. She then showed me photo albums of her travels late into the night - it just seemed so easy to listen and talk to her and even then I hoped that she we would be the one for me. I could not believe she was interested in me. After a month we were going out and a 10 year courtship ensued.

During this time many milestones and life changing experiences occurred. The Girls completed their Masters [in Finance at UTS], Norm (their father) passed away suddenly in hospital, on [Tue 0]2 Jun 1992.

In late Mar 1997 Jenny was diagnosed with breast cancer and a mastectomy followed a few weeks later. She returned to work and got on with her life. On New Years Eve 1997, Margaret (their mother) was diagnosed with ovarian cancer. Margaret was referred to Jodi as her Oncologist and numerous chemo courses followed. The Girls would attend all consultations with her. Around the same time Jenny's cancer recurred in the scar tissue of the mastectomy. This is when Jodi also became Jenny's Oncologist. Now Margaret and Jenny were having chemo at the same time.

Through a cancer course at Royal Nth Shore, Jenny found Barbara (now Sister Suscila) and that's where they found meditation and a natural/spiritual approach to healing. Around this time Jenny also joined the Sutherland Shire Cancer Support Group which was facilitated by Liz, a social worker with Calvary.

Stong relationships were established and developed with Jodi, Suscila and Liz and though each of their own skill sets and support networks helped influence Jenny's approach and ensuing journey with cancer. I believe they helped Jenny to embrace her cancer and to live life to the full.

Unfortunately Margaret's cancer was quite advanced and spread quickly. Jodi saw in Jenny and Joanne a strength of character and asked them to care palliatively for Margaret at home, while she would make house calls. This has been Jenny and Jo's greatest gift in life, caring for their mother at home for 8 weeks (Jenny was still having her chemo at this time) until Margaret succumbed to her cancer on 28 April 1999 (her wedding anniversary).

Jenny's breast cancer spread to her lungs and in late 1999 scans revealed 10 tumors. A hormone therapy treatment started. Jenny and Jo traveled to visit Suscila in Alice Springs and visited Uluru for the Millennium. Jenny would recall later that she had an amazing experience lying in the red desert sand at the foot of Uluru.

Shortly after her return from Uluru we became engaged and we set about organizing our wedding in just 10 weeks. The big day being the 30th April 2000. What a day. We sang “Song of Joy”. We exchanged vows and rings and then kissed as Husband and Wife. At the reception we made toasts, spoke and danced the night away. A rainbow theme being the unifying element with rainbow inspired flowers, ribbons, cake, speeches and songs. We honeymooned on Lord Howe and shortly after our return Jenny retired from work to pursue her passions (on Jodi's suggestion).

At the Sydney Olympics later that year we must have held the record for the most sessions attended - handball becoming our favourite. We had many fond and inspiring memories from the whole event.

At that time, just over 9 years ago, we had no idea how long we would have together. This did not stop us and we tried to live a normal life with goals set for six months at a time. Holidays were planned and taken - a trip to the Cook Islands to visit Susila over Xmas 2000, a 4 week trip to North West Australia in May 2001 and a return to Lord Howe in Oct 2001 so Joanne and my Mother could share the experience.

Another constant was our annual trip to Mt Kosciusko for a benchmarking 22km walk around the Main Range. This year was her hardest effort – but she did it. Maybe it was a sign of things to come.

In late 2000 I bought a small digital camera to document our travels and lives. I did not know how much time we would have share and the camera gave me some comfort that I could capture our memories.

Jenny's cancer was ever persistent and there was always something going on - radiation, more chemo, hormone injections or tablets and numerous operations - we could watch “House” and could easily relate to the medical terms.

Through one of her chemo treatments, Jenny found a Dragons Abreast flyer at the hospital. This would be start of the biggest change in our lives. Jenny and Joanne took to paddling like "ducks to water" and I found myself photographing them and the dragon boats that they trained and raced. It gave them opportunities to travel wide and far. Our holidays were now planned around Dragon Boat regattas locally and internationally.

Jo would make the NSW and Australian Team to Poland in 2003. Jenny was held back by a course of chemo and numerous trips to the hospital. She still remained involved by videoing the teams at time trials at Penrith.

In 2004 she would make the NSW Team and compete for her country in the World Championships in Shanghai. There could not have been a prouder person when Joanne's Premier Mixed Team won a bronze medal in the 500m race.

During the 2004 Shanghai campaign Jenny’s journey was captured by an Australian Story episode titled "In the Pink". She was nervous participant and a little uncertain about how it would be scripted and received. We all nervously awaited its airing on that June long weekend Monday - unaware as to its content. The episode captured the essence of the Dragons Abreast Movement in Australia, showing all sides to cancer and it's impact - positive and negative.

The episode would popularize Dragons Abreast Australia beyond it's creators wildest dreams. Clubs quickly popped up everywhere across the country and continue to do so. Meanwhile, Jenny and Joanne would become the most well known (yet most humble) paddlers in Australia.

Others today have told of Jenny's inspiring feats on the water and there is no need for me to repeat them. She just loved to paddle and found great comfort amongst her paddling colleagues. It provided a sense of normality to her life and she just seem to fit in, even with compression sleeve on her right arm or the missing hair on her head which was always discreetly hidden by a colourful selection of bandana's.

Jenny empowered many people (with and without) cancer to pursue their dreams. She will live on through Joanne and I and no doubt many others from her inspiring journey. Thinking of Jenny will help influence our decisions and motivate us to achieve our dreams and to decide what is right.

I will miss hearing you breath as you slept. I will miss calling out “I love you” as I leave for work each day. Whistling at the front door when I got home and hearing you whistle back. You were the most amazing thing to happen in my life I am having trouble comprehending the way forward. You provided me with love and gave me hope and life purpose. I would always say to Jenny “I am the lucky one”.

A couple of quotes from her regular talks and Australian Story follow and I think there is something there to inspire us all. No matter the circumstance.

“Cancer is something that people do not expect to happen to them and no matter who is diagnosed, and at whatever time in their life, it is a shock which has huge ramifications for not only the person involved but also their family and friends. It takes a lot of adjustment to get used to.”

“I feel I am so lucky and have a wonderful life. I have had some great opportunities through breast cancer to meet some very inspiring people. Geoff and Jo have been a constant source of support for me. Breast cancer has totally changed my life but for the best.”

“I don't understand how things work out, and why things work out the way they do. I feel like I've been lucky. I don't understand how cancer works, I don't know why I've been blessed the way I have been.”

“It's just in the lap of the gods.”

Enjoy your new “Island Home” and those that surround you [there]. You know that “We’ll be There” and we know that “You’ll be There”.

As we said to each other before we nodded off each night .. Jenny:

“Good Night, God Bless, I Love You.”

"That is my life story up until now."

On Photography and Discovery - Mike Peters / Bryan Formhals (Sat 03 Sep2011)

path - Mount Kosciuszko (Thu 08 Jan 2004)

Mike Peters on Photography and Discovery:

For me, photography is a path of discovery that reveals itself as I move along , one foot in front of the other, one image at a time.

via Mike Peters – The Dream by Bryan Formhals.

On Photography - Past, Present and Future - Joel Meyerowitz (Tue 27 Oct 2015)

School Holidays - Camera in Hand - Canberra (late 1960's)

Joel Meyerowitz on Photography and the Past, Present and Future :

We can never imagine the work we might make in the future – that’s part of the wonder of all art making – but when we are in the present and can look back, as I can, over 50 years of work, there seems to be a continuous path that unwinds in a way that sometimes seems inevitable.

via A Full House by Joel Meyerowitz.

On Photography and Commitment - StreetShooter (Fri 15 May 2015)

Abstract - Fremantle (Sun 19 May 2015)

StreetShooter on Commitment:

There is no one way to do anything in life. There is no path to take to get you to the magic garden. It’s inside you and always was. It’s up to you to fight and say,

I am me and good or bad, these are my photos. I love them because they are me and I am them and they do not exist without me and I don’t want to exist without them.

That means that you have committed to your work and committed to make a signature that you recognize.

Via Living With Street Talk … Living With Yourself by StreetShooter.

On Uncomfortableness - Iain S. Thomas (Sun 26 Apr 2015)

Reeds and Bird in Flight - Adelaide (Fri 01 May 2015)

Iain S. Thomas on Uncomfortable:

Uncomfortableness isn't something to be avoided. Uncomfortableness must be embraced. It is how we achieve what we set out to achieve.[..]

Introducing uncomfortableness into the system, into the process you're going through, isn't going to mess it up. The uncomfortableness in the system quite often is the system. It's the walls of the house you're building, whether that house is a business, a career, your art or an exercise routine. [..]

It is the strain against the muscle when you exercise that builds it. It is the hours you spend studying that earn you your diploma. It is the patience you have with each other that grows a strong marriage. And, ironically, whether it's doing the dishes or running or anything else, expecting that life will be easy and comfortable is the surest path to pain and frustration.

So, I wish you peace, and an uncomfortable day.

via The Art of Being Uncomfortable by Iain S. Thomas.

When you are shy, profoudly shy, and I was born with shyness deeply embedded in me, almost every moment of your life is uncomfortable. The only respite coming when you are in a familiar environment by yourself or in the company of those that love and understand you for who you are. Everything seems hard, but I have managed and have survived to live a rewarding and fulfilling life. I have achieved things I never thought possible, some of which is captured here in my humble blog. And maybe that is why I do this, to demonstrate to myself that I am doing something with my Life, in spite of how hard it always seems and feels.

I have Iain's Book I Wrote this for You. I don't know how I stumbled across it, but I can relate to his words which are also on his blog (iwrotethisforyou.me).

This is what I thought when I read the above and so it is uncomfortably and awkwardly captured here in this post.

Nothing Really Matters - Eileen Cady / Footprints on the Path

Words of Wisdom from Janice's Fridge Door - Ashfield (Sun 15 Mar 2015)

.. "nothing really matters" .. by Eileen Cady

Dwell not in the past,
Use it to illustrate a point;
then leave it behind.
nothing
really
matters
except what you do now
In this instant of time.

From this moment onward
you can be entirely different person
filled with love and understanding,
ready with an outstretched hand,
uplifted and positive
in every thought and deed.

Eileen Caddy / Footprints on the Path

Recently had an experience that has forced me to reflect on life more than I normally would.

I recently had to abstract my experience down to a txt message, so someone could appreciate and understand what I went through during and after this experience. Here it is:

I saw the generosity, concern and empathy of complete strangers. I saw first hand the diversity, strength and professionalism of our Rescue Services - I'm in awe of them. I saw the importance of life and how fragile our connection is with it.

I'm proud of my decisions and my actions that day, I think it helped save someones life.

Due to circumstance and/or privacy laws, it is not possible to thank all those people who helped that day, so I say it here - THANK YOU.

An experience like that makes you reflect a lot and in some ways it was life changing - a spiritual experience actually.

I have dwelt on this for far too long and it has had a bigger impact (both negative and positive, oddly enough) on me than I could ever imagined.

It is now time to acknowledge that it did happen for the first and last time here. And it is also now time to leave it behind. Let it go!!!

And so that is that.

Coffs Harbour Bound : Heading Home - Kurnell / Kamay Botany Bay National Park (Mon 16 Mar 2015)

On How to Get There - Yesterday's Suffering, Today's Inspiration, Tomorrow's Strength

God Still Loves You!!! I Love You, Also - Valletta / Malta (Sat 20 Sep 2014)

How to Get There
By Michael Leunig

Go to the end of the path until you get to the gate.
Go through the gate and head straight out
Towards the horizon
Keep going towards the horizon
Sit down and have a rest every now and again
But keep on going.
Just keep with it.
Keep on going as far as you can
That's how you get there.

.. And that is pretty much what I have done these last 5 years ..

These words have implicitly (I knew of them and their meaning before I even read them for the first time) and explicitly guided me when I was completely lost, and without Purpose and Hope .. "Just keep with it" I would say. And it's a pretty good approach to Life, I would think, given the Situation I found myself ..

At some point along the way you do get "There" - it's not overly obvious that you have arrived, but somehow you know .. just like when you were made aware of how far you had fallen without even noticing.

Now ..

You are strong enough to stand on your own two feet and embrace the world again. You are brave enough to start "letting go", to know there is more to "let go", and more importantly to know that is what Jenny would want of me. To know you have another chance. That what forced you to go "through the gate and head straight out" and where you have been to get "There", has made you a better person - and to know that I should not feel guilty about that. That you have been all over and its been all over you. That you are not a Hopeless case. That you are Awesome. That you are still here for a reason. That you know you still have so much to give. That it was not the End, like you thought, but just the chance for another Beginning.

A chance to show you are resilent. A chance to show you can change, adapt and reinvent yourself. A chance to demonstrate you can think of yourself as a survivor and not a victim of circumstance and Life. A chance to consider that you have been lucky to have shared loved. And through that love, empowered to live life to the full along the path you were destined to walk.

Thank you to everyone that have helped me to get "There" these last 5 years. It has been a remarkable Journey and a few Lessons in Life have been learnt!!! I can’t really believe where I have been. I could write a book about it but at least there is a blog - eljeiffel.blogspot.com.au

This is Life (my Life actually) and I have learnt we need to Live and appreciate it while we can. Jenny showed and gave me this. It was her gift to me ..

Why do I write this now? I write this for me and my timeline. And while it might appear a little self-indulgent, I have no regrets - it is who I have become along the way to "There".

More importantly I write it for others who are or will walk "out through the gate" and search for their "There". It's a choice you make and I know you can do it if you set your heart to it.

I know there is further to go but my outlook is different now.

“There” is always Hope - I am another shining example of this!!

Thanks again.

Yesterday's Suffering, Today's Inspiration, Tomorrow's Strength
Geoff (Wed 25 Feb 2015)

A Journey, A Home - My Legacy to the World - Alexandria (Sun 22 Feb 2015)

On Numbers and Performance - Vernon Gambetta (Thu 23 Oct 2014)

The Numbers - GPS Results for an Outrigging Training Session - (Thu 23 Oct 2014)
Functional Path Training (*) writes on Numbers (*) and Performance (*):

Numbers need context. Numbers are one dimensional, human performance is multidimensional. We must focus on the human element, the athlete; they are not integers in an equation.

via It’s Still Just A Number (*) by Vernon Gambetta (*).

The numbers always tell a story if you know how to look at them.

The trained eye can see more than the numbers. They see the elements that create them - the environment, human performance and emotion they reflect. I've learnt so much from the numbers and I know how to read them for the sport I have been participating for almost ten years now - an example (*).

I've also seen how the environment, physical and mental reflect their way into performance and as a result, the numbers. I guess it's called experience. You can sit back and let experiences pass you by without even noticing. But if you stop and reflect on the experience, you will remember the how's and the why's of the result. They feed back into future experiences and you will improve.

I do know what Vern talks about though. The numbers are a guide and should not be the be and end all. You have to be there to see how the human element influenced the performance, which are reflected in the numbers. It's the context Vernon talks about.

On The Story of Telling - Joe Newman (Wed 10 Sep 2014)

Was it a Dream? - Burano / Italy (Wed 10 Sep 2014)
Joe Newman (*) writes on The Story of Telling (*):

Telling the story as a street photographer is different than telling the story as a journalist or documentary photographer. While journalists set out to record "the first rough draft of history," the story you tell as a street photographer is entirely in the viewer's mind.

via Finding the Story in Your Street Photography (*) by Joe Newman (*).

Burano is a beautiful little island about 45 mins from Venice by a small Ferry. It felt so far from anywhere. We arrived late in the day and the shadows were long and the colours were striking. We bumped into Loretta here and she can seen on then left path with a couple of paddlers from Mt Warning. Loretta was the Australian Team Manager in 2007 and 2013.

On Lost Inspiration and Purpose - The Manual of the Warrior of Light

Jenny and Geoff - 2nd Wedding Anniversay - Quay West/Sydney (Tue 30 Apr 2002)
Following on from yesterday's post (*), Paulo Coelho (*) writes on lost Inspiration (*) and Purpose (*):

One day, for no apparent reason, the warrior realises that he does not feel the same enthusiasm for the fight that he used to.

He continues to do what he has always done, but every gesture seems meaningless. At such a time, he has only one choice: to continue fighting the Good Fight. He says his prayers out of duty or fear or whatever, but he does not abandon the path.

He knows that the angel of the One who inspires him has simply wandered off somewhere. The warrior keeps his attention focused on the battle and he perseveres, even when everything seems utterly pointless. The angel will soon return and the merest flutter of her wings will restore the warrior's joy to him.

via The Manual of the Warrior of Light (*) by Paulo Coelho (*).

I posted this passage back in Aug 2010 (*), while struggling with Jenny's loss. I think of it often and I guess that is why yesterday's post (*) seemed so important. I just thought I would repost it (*) again as my Angel did flutter her wings and my joys of paddling and life did return. Maybe it started here (*)?

On Finding Yourself - Spencer Lum (Tue 08 Jul 2014)

Untitled - Reina Sofia (*) / Madrid (Sun 11 Aug 2013)
Spencer Lum (*) writes On Life (*):

The whole point of life (*) is to figure it out for yourself. To love (*) the challenge (*) and live in the process (*). It can’t flourish in the light (*) of others. Comparison is the surest path (*) to bitterness (*) and grief (*). Explore (*). See your power (*). See what you can do. Success (*) is not being better than everyone else. It’s finding you.

via Living the Better Life (*) by Spencer Lum (*).

Spencer (*) at his Philosophical Best (*). And a great thought for the 1600th post and 146,000th pageview here (*), give or take a couple.

Street Portrait - Dark Tranquilli - Barcelona (Tue 06 Aug 2013)

Street Portrait - Dark Tranquilli (*) - Barcelona (Tue 06 Aug 2013)
StreetSooter (*) writes On Photography (*), Life (*) and Light (*):

I felt like THE LORD was shining a light (*) for me to make a photo….Oh man, what a feeling…it was like an experience that one should remember for eternity. I raised the Leica with the 35cron and just as I put it to my eye….

I kinda heard a voice in my head and I thought it was THE LORD as he said….Schmuck, your shooting TRI-X.

Those are the kind of experiences (*) that effect your life…or not! For me things like that leave me open to the possibilities of what ever life throws at me.

via Fuji XP1 & 35mm Find The Light … and Some Other Things (*) by StreetSooter (*).

The light (*) in this beautiful old passageway, a couple of blocks off the more touristy boulevards, had lined up to be directly along its path. I remember standing to the side and quietly taking a few candid Street Portraits (*) that day (*).

A Familiar Path - Doug Miller / A Single Path (Sat 19 Sep 2009)

Skate Cones - Hyde Park / London (Sun 18 Aug 2013)
Doug Miller (*) writes On Life (*):

A single step (*) repeated hundreds and thousands of times would eventually arrive at the end. It did not take superhuman (*) strength (*) or a talent (*) that most do not have. It took a steadfast commitment (*). Step by step as the miles added up and the challenges (*) slipped by. Today just like those days on the trail, is another step. Tomorrow yet another. I walk this journey (*) in anticipation (*) of the end, but I also know that there is much to learn (*) in the process (*). It is the process (*), no matter what the hardship (*) where great beauty (*) and adventure (*) can be found.

via A Familiar Path (*) by Doug Miller (*).

I found this today in a search for a friend. It was also for me to remember the path we have taken, and how far we have come, over the last 4 and 1/2 years. I said this once before, about the blog this quote came from, that is the single most moving piece of writing (*) I have ever read. It still is and I am glad I looked for it and found it again today.

Keep Moving Forward (Little Wonders Video by Rob Thomas)

Keep Moving Forward (Little Wonders Video by Rob Thomas)
At 2 min 46 sec into the Rob Thomas, Little Wonders Video (see here), the above motto is breifly (maybe for a one second at most) projected onto the screen. Googling gives some context (here):

The main character shows hope, he develops and grows quite a bit through the course of the film, and there is a very uplifting message, from Walt Disney himself, to keep moving forward.

Made me think of this post from a year:

• A warrior of light often loses heart .. (03 Feb 2010)

The main thing is that I believe in the people close to me and also in myself. We have an amazing year ahead and I am very excited about the path ahead to Tampa 2011.

Might as well put this video here also:

Video: It's not my Time by 3 Doors Down
Finally, Keep Moving Forward made me think of the following photos that have featured here (at least the first two anyway):

Jenny and Jo - Main Range Walk - 06 Jan 2002 (from here - 20 Jan 2010)
"Keep on Walking" - Jo - Main Range Walk - Fri 1 Jan 2010 (from here - 20 Jan 2010)
Keep Moving Forward - Fingal Beach / Fingal Bay / Port Stephens (Sun 25 Aug 2002)

On Your Path in Life - Richard Glover / Spectrum (Sat 19 Oct 2013)

Two Doors (not too far apart) - Barcelona (Mon 05 Aug 2013)
Richard Glover (*) writes On Your Path in Life (*):

the closed doors (*) determine your path in life as firmly as those that open.

via Fail and all your dreams might just come true (*) by Richard Glover (*).

The Pacific Dragons 2013 Inspire Award in the Memory of Jenny Petterson - Glebe/Sydney and Dubrovnik/Croatia (Sat 03 Aug 2013)

Jenny - Suzhou / China (Tue 16 Nov 2004) Petar Hektorovic (*) - Tvrdalj Fortress (*) / Stari Grad (*) / Hvar (*) (Wed 31 Jul 2013)
First, a thank you..

Here we are in Dubrovnik.

Croatia, is just beautiful and the highlight has been a small courtyard in the small Fortress of the 16th Century Croatian Poet, Petar Hektorovic, in the tiny town of Stari Grad on the Island of Hvar, two hours by Ferry out of Split. Jo and I spread some of Jenny's ashes there and it was one of the most peaceful places (*) I have experienced and his words (*) seem quite relevant and profound.

We feel privileged and lucky to have the ability to make and have these experiences.

Caitlin, Lisa, Jo, Kaizer and myself have just competed at the 11th World DB Champs with the 2013 Australian Auroras Squad. It was a great event and we have some amazing memories.

The Hungarians have shown the world how to host a modern World Dragon Boat Championships, which have become carnival like because of their size.

It was also great to paddle on a course so rich in paddling history.

The highlight of the championships for me was watching Jo, carry the Australian Flag and leading the whole Australian Squad at the Opening Ceremony.

Joanne, Jenny would be so proud of you as we all are. A tribute (*) to Joanne and those those have supported her in paddling and life will follow the presentation.

On behalf of Caitlin, Lisa, Jo, Kaizer and myself, we thank you all for supporting us in paddling and life. Pacific Dragons provides the home and base which nurtures us as paddlers and people.

A little about Jenny now ..

Jenny said to me towards the end, when the destination of her disease became more real, that she would miss the travel adventures with us - no doubt in travels and in life.

It is just over 4 years ago that she said those words and it would be a few short months later she left this world.

She did not feel sorry for herself in saying those words. She always had a strong sense of reality about her life, her cancer and her purpose in life.

This was one of the inspiring traits I would take from her and one we can all take from her as we face the uncertainties which will become the certainties of our lives.

When she did die, I had already decided that I should live on in her "Afterglow". This was much easier to say than do and for a long time I thought my life purpose had been served and honoured.

Those early days were the hardest of my life and it would take a long time to find my confidence, to start living my life again. That there was a purpose. All I could really do was paddle. In some ways, it was during those days I found myself.

Jenny loved travel, a globe and atlas and it was no surprise that geography was her favourite class. Had she been born in earlier times, she would have a been great explorer - and without doubt, Captain Petterson, as I would call her, would have been an important name in our history books and classes, along with Columbus and Cook.

So, whenever we decided to travel, she was also the navigator, along with Jo, of course. With a sheet of paper and pen in hand, they would thumb through the atlas and rotate the globe charting our path and planning our itinerary.

Croatia was Jenny's choice for our Europe 2009 trip following the World DB Champs in Prague. However, she would not make it here, passing away 9 weeks before the Worlds.

We did not travel to Croatia in 2009. In the haze of grief and bereavement, I can't remember why now.

So for this 2013 Hungary Campaign, we decided that Croatia would be our first stop, in order to honour Jenny's wishes.

As it is with everything now, I feel a sense of guilt that I am alive and experiencing life and Jenny is not. That I am experiencing this trip, Szeged and in particular the Croatian coast and our current port Dubrovnik.

However, these feelings of guilt are balanced with the thought that she inspires us to continue our lives to the full, including creating these experiences. It is what she would want us to do.

Maybe in some ways I feel that when we meet again, I can tell her all the great things we have done.

So while there are feelings of guilt, I balance them with those of inspiration, intention, innocence, naviety and awe. In this way, a perspective on life can be found and along with a sense of empathy, it can give your life a solid foundation even during the toughest moments.

I talk about this because I have come to realise that others have or will have these moments and this is just one way, my way at least, to respond. This is life.

So to the 2013 Inspire Award ..

A common word used in all the presentations over years is the word "Belief". It seems to pop up all the time.

Last year I spoke a little about belief, in the sense that inspiring people seem to have a belief in themselves - we call it self-belief.

So I started to think about where does self belief come from?

I would find an answer a month after, via a blog post by Spencer Lum, a New York based wedding photographer, of all people. His words made it crystal clear to me. He wrote:

[..] if you’re willing to take a gamble, I’ll bet on you. If you’re willing to put it out there, if you’re willing to fail, if you’re willing to let go of it all, thumb your nose at the world, and do it your way, I’ll believe in you. [..]

"I’ll believe in you." Spencer wrote. There it was. The answer was so simple - self belief first comes from others who believe in you.

Often it takes some time to have the confidence to believe in one self. Initially, more often than not, the belief comes from others. Those who support and love you for who you are.

It is only with time, experience and the support of those others who believe in you, that you can find your own self belief and you start say things to yourself like

• yes, I can do that,


• you start finding reasons why you can, rather than you can't, and


• when you question yourself with "why?", you are able to say "well ,why not!"

It is then that things start to happen.

As time goes by, you become stronger, more independent and not afraid to give things a go, even if it means making mistakes and / or failing. You know that the risk is worth the reward of at least trying, whatever the outcome.

So what does this have to do with the 2013 Inspire Award?

The recipient of this award realised her own self-belief this year, initially through the support of her coaches and those that have paddled with her since joining the club.

Something happened this year for her. She had been making changes and steady improvements over the years, but she realised she needed to start believing in herself. It was a natural progression.

I was lucky enough to sit next her one week night dragon boat training session going into CNY. She trained strongly and between sets we chatted briefly. She told me that she needed to start believing in herself and that she was almost there. I was impressed. This is the stuff I had been thinking about.

The next weekend she made this very visible to her coaches, paddling buddies and most importantly, herself, by performing a stunning 4km OC1 time trial out of Dobroyd Point. This was the turning point, the starting point to self belief.

It was fantastic to witness that very moment.

I have seen it time and time again in our club. Coaches and others believing, paddlers changing and then suddenly something remarkable happens. They start believing in themselves. It is the great thing about our club and it is what I love about PDs.

So the 5th and 2013 recipient of the Inspire Award in the Memory of Jenny Petterson is Cath Gale.

A big congratulations to you Cath from Jo and myself. You are an inspiration.

Have a great night all. We will be thinking of you all and we look forward to getting back into it all on our return in late August.
Water - Courtyard Pond - Petar Hektorovic (*) - Tvrdalj Fortress (*) / Stari Grad (*) / Hvar (*) (Wed 31 Jul 2013) Incriptions - Petar Hektorovic (*) - Tvrdalj Fortress (*) / Stari Grad (*) / Hvar (*) (Wed 31 Jul 2013)

2013 Auroras Senior B Selection Squad - Lotus Bay / Canberra (Fri 21 Dec - Sun 23 Dec 2012)

2013 Auroras Senior B Selection Squad - Lotus Bay / Canberra (Sun 23 Dec 2012) 2013 Auroras Senior B Selection Squad (Left Crop) - Lotus Bay / Canberra (Sun 23 Dec 2012) 2013 Auroras Senior B Selection Squad (Right Crop) - Lotus Bay / Canberra (Sun 23 Dec 2012)
Note to self. A personal guide for the Campaign and beyond ..

A few photos and words from my heart following the 2013 Auroras Senior B Selection Camp in Canberra from 21-23 Dec 2012.

Congratulations to all that put themselves forward for selection for the 2013 Auroras Senior B Dragon Boat Squad which will participate at the World Dragon Boat Championships in Szeged, Hungary in late July 2013.

Putting yourself up for selection and having dreams, hopes and goals is always a risky business as they can all be dashed in a moment.

For those whose journey for this campaign ended at the selection camp, you have my admiration and respect. My heart goes out to you, but I also know that there are future opportunities and with a plan, determination and perseverance you can achieve everything you want out of paddling and life. We have a number of role models in this regard and I encourage you to follow their lead. The camp will have given you perspective and a path forward to realising all your dreams and goals. It's a decision you make and it is all in your hands.

For those successful in selection, I congratulate you and I feel your elation in the trust the coaches have given us to represent Australia as the 2013 Auroras Senior B World Championship Dragon Boat Squad.

I thank those from the 2011 Auroras Squad (*) who have come back to give it another go. Your experience will be invaluable as we all learnt so much about ourselves, the importance of teamwork and what it is to compete on the world stage against the best the world has to offer.

The competition is intense and goals are achieved through your commitment to the training programme; trust in yourself, your team mates, managers and coaches.

Having done a few campaigns now, my advice is to savior every moment of the campaign. There can be feelings of elation, disappointment and every emotion in between. That is the nature of paddling at this level and I have learnt it is how we handle and respond to these emotions, that will mould who we are and who we will become. You have to an awareness of yourself and those around you - to be emotionally strong not only for yourself, but more importantly for the team, since our sport is the true essence of team work.

There are few words that stick in my mind from all my experiences in paddling and life. They are Trust, Belief and Risk.

Trust - Trust yourselves, your team mates, your managers and coaches. Remember the first time you stood in dragon boat in the standup paddle drill at the selection camp. Serge and Blair would not have asked us to do this if they thought we could not do it. They trusted us, as we trusted them. I saw no hesitation from either side. This is the kind of trust we need to find, particularly when we are uncertain. We just need to go with it and it will happen.

Belief (*) - You have to believe in yourself, and your supporters in paddling and in life. Most importantly you have to believe in the campaign, the process, your team mates, managers and coaches. I find this quote (*) gives me perspective, understanding and strength:

If you believe, you are stronger and the light will shine on you.

Risk - by getting to this point, we have all proved we are not averse to taking a risk or two. At this level, the stakes and emotions are heightened. There are risks all round as we step into the unknown to compete against the best in the world. We have control of many things and this is our focus, but there are others things which we don't, for as you see, I have learnt there is an underlying randomness to it all. This is where adaptability comes in, as we respond in a measured and considered way to the random events that are tossed our way and that which we may confront. Take nothing for granted, success is not attained easily. Often, time and persistence is required.

Finally, be prepared to let go of everything you know and to start from zero (*). It would take me a long time to learn this one and it only came to me in Busan (*) at the 2012 Asian Dragon Boat Championships in Sep 2012. Ask Paul Langley as we learnt this together in the Mixed 10's (*). I became the paddler and person I always wanted to be on that hot sunny day in Busan.

We have an amazing blend of enthusiasm, hardened experience and raw newness at this level. Focus on what you can control, trust and believe and the rest will look after itself. I feel privileged to share this experience with you and look forward to what lays ahead.

2013 Auroras Grand Masters Selection Squad Camp - Lotus Bay / Canberra (Fri 21 Dec - Sat 23 Dec 2012)